attached is he to the fancy regions into which Morpheus wafts his fancy, that he courts his company much as ever the enraptured Petrarch, "You know the rest," as Byron says, or Poetaster of later days invoked his duller muse.

I have seen him stand in church with a face (according to a late calculation) twice as long as his life--the latter being only one span, and the former two-chaunting a most sublime psalm, in a most enchanting manner; and ere he had reached the end of the third line, fall backwards on his seat, or half into the next pew, under the benign influence of the soothing spirit nourished from its birth. I have seen his head and shoulders go to the tune of "We're a Noddin," while conversing with a lovely female whose voice was musicthrilling music-to our ears, carrying on its wings the balmy sweetness of a self-created Zephyrus. I have seen him at an exhibition of wild beasts hold his hand between the bars of the hyena's den, until pulled away by the force of others-overcome by the same intoxicating power of what he calls "Fate's decrees, or Nature's "blunder." And now while I write this line he is before mine eyes in a comfortable arm chair, with his chin in his bosom, pen in his mouth, his hands linked together, and his legs crossed like-I was going to make a comparison, notwithstanding they are considered odious, but cannot find one similar, either in the air, on the earth, or under the earth, for

"None but himself can be his parallel."

As I hinted before," comparisons are odious," I shall be blamed no doubt for selecting at last the most odious of all--but I cannot help it; the same fate decreed that, as ordained the display of my friend's transcendant genius-the same that predestined the thief to commit felony, and the judge to order his execution for it.

I premised that I had made a discovery of the stock of lost patience, and I verily believe I have; and whoever knows my worthy friend's character and habits, will readily allow that all the lethargy, all the stupidity, all the obstinacy, all the powers of incomprehensibility, and all the patience so long absent, are concentrated in this one piece of luxurious, yet lifeless and inanimate, matter.

BEN JONSON REDIVIVUS.

CHARACTER OF CLELIA.

If thou would a wonder see,
Hither come, I'll shew it thee;

A woman, fam'd for wit and sense,
Who to neither makes pretence;
One in whose untutor'd face

Each native beauty thou shalt trace,
Unsullied by affected grace;
And if thou search the world around,
A better heart will not be found.
Say, then, canst thou another find
So wise, so good, so fair, so kind?

MALACHI.

PROPOSED INSTITUTION FOR GIVING ADVICE.

MR. EDITOR,-In these times, when almost every order of men is affected to a greater or less degree by our commercial and financial embarrassments, I have every reason to believe that the more liberal professions themselves are not exempted. In a season when, putting our hands into empty pockets, we pretend to gaze at each other with the wonder of deluded ninnies round a conjuror's table, prudent people look at a piece of gold with an undisguised sentiment of affection, and part from it, as from a friend who perchance may never return. All professions suffer-hundreds, at such a time, languish under the torments of bad bile and liver complaints, endure any torture, leaving every thing to Nature, merely because she gives advice gratis, and requires no physician's fee.

And then as to the profession of the law, a militia of gentlemen, with good second-hand wigs on their heads, might without impropriety pace the streets, asking for the contributions of the compassionate, and, like frost-bitten horticulturists, hoist a brief on a pole, as an emblem of their distress. It seems, therefore, to entitle any one to the national gratitude, to come forward and propose a new and important institution in society; one which will at once be of the last degree of moral utility, afford a splendid opening for the neglected in other professions, give a character to the age of its invention, and bestow to any conceivable extent glory and gain upon its professors. This is nothing less than a new and accomplished order of men, to be called PARAINETIKOI, or ADVICE GIVERS.

The life of man has been from the earliest ages represented by poets and moralists, under a great variety of instructive and agreeable types and figures. At one time, life is a journey, by a road intricate in itself, and surrounded by temptations to leave the proper path, and wander to our destination, in a series of trespassings by dark and devious routes. Next, life is a drama, in which we all play a part on some stage or other; and the actor of the clearest reputation is he who deceives all but a very, very few who are behind the scenes, and who inevitably see the tinsel, the rouge, and the rags.

Commend me, however, to life being a journey up hill; that is the figure which best meets the case. We climb up the precipice; we can see but little before us-a great deal behind us. A beacon here and there of those who have gone before us, is our only itinerary. We read a warning inscribed on that rock, an encouragement on that resting place, and now and then hear the voice of caution or tenderness from those a little before us. If we take a retrospective view, the wrecks of individuals, nay, of entire nations, are the main features of the landscape. We see proofs how miserable and benighted was their journey---how agonizing their sufferings---how cruel and ferocious they were to each other. Yet all have passed on. Many tokens of their sorrow and guilt strew the path; few of their cordiality and good fellowship as travellers; and we are left to draw our own conclusions.

What every body wants to see, is the path and adventure higher up the hill. How shall I succeed at the precipices, how endure the dangerous passes, which I hear are before me? I hear a voice of one some way up, cautioning those below against the horrid rocks of marriage-there originated his misery and ruin. A second cries, beware of false friends! Alas! where was there ever one not false? A third, keep straight on, turn neither to left nor right, in spite of the solicitations of your betraying and treacherous guides. We strain our eyeballs to look forward; all is uncertainty, darkness, and mist. We nearly lose our footing, and are glad to content ourselves with present safety and security. Beyond all controversy, the up hill figure is the best.

But to which of those voices before us are we to give heed? Their cautions are contradictory and opposed. One advises to marriage---another to shun it; one directs to cultivate a timid prudence in your undertakings---another urges you to boldness and resolution. This brings me to the suicidal fact, which is at present felt by every body, that although plentiful to reflection, there is no such thing as ADVICE in worldly matters to be had which is worth one pinch of snuff.

Racked by scepticism and doubt, go to the parson or his curate, and he will settle your faith in theology. Go to the physician if you have chronic hepatitis, and he will do all for your liver that mortal man can do. Go to your lawyer if you are about to be fleeced by a scoundrel, and he will fleece you less perhaps than the first. But where upon the face of the earth or sea are you to go if you want to be advised as to choosing a wife, a profession, or as to getting rid of either, finding them flat and unprofitable? Why, you are absolutely driven to your grandmother, or friend, who suffer a thousand extrinsic motives to sway their judgments; consider, generally intemperatelyalways selfishly; suffer you to see through their rags of profession, to their folly; and conclude by confirming you by their opposition to take your own course (the only bad one) after all.

If a man entertain scruples of the twenty-first article of the Church of England, would he hasten to his maternal uncle to solve the doubt? If he suspected an inflammation in the lumbar region, would he disclose his case, and consult his grandmother? or, in a case of an action at law, would any man alive refer his enemy to his brother's wife? No in all these cases, happily, there are professors to consult and advise; men well qualified to judge of the respective cases submitted to them. Parsons, surgeons, and lawyers, take the responsibility, and you gain peace and confidence of mind for a guinea fee. But in most cases of advice-giving out of these professions, we act about as wisely as though we were to neglect their advice for that of women or bystanders. We truly are to abide by the advice of relations, let their sense and experience be what they may. You are going to the devil every way if you hearken not to the counsel of every man and woman within ten degrees of blood or relationship! It is a rule with me, one which I adopted early, and which I do not break on any excuse, never to take the advice of

a relation.

that maxim.

Let any one who is perplexed, learn wisdom, and adopt

If we go to books and moral disquisitions on the nature of man, and the operations of the passions, they, after all, are of no more practical use than so many of Mr. Hume's amendments. Every case must be made one of separate conditions. No physician would dream of prescribing merely on a general knowledge of physiology and pathology. He must know all the concurrent circumstances and symptoms; learn the habits of life and of the body; and then think what is to be done. A lawyer must see the deeds, learn the title, consider the abstract, before he can pronounce as to the proper and efficient course. And yet advice in other equally important matters is to be given in a moment, without judgment or consideration, and all this on a plea of relationship and meaning well! The condemning fault of book advice is, although entirely disinterested, that books make a general rule of that which can only apply to individual cases--like quack physic, sometimes hitting, more generally missing, the case. No general formulæ for the regulation of the affairs of life can be invented---there must be a particular theorem for each case.

Suppose, for example, in the important affair of marriage (I make this a chief point of observation, because I think the powers of our new profession will be most usefully exercised on that subject), it be stated that marriage is the surest foundation of terrestrial happiness. The quietness and peace of that holy state, represented as best adapted for man, his wants and expectations. This can only be true in particular instances. It may be all very well for Editors, and other men of rank and fortune, to undertake such an expensive, though albeit pleasant and praiseworthy, settlement. But what is to be said of Contributors? Poor devils, who have perhaps more jokes than shirts, both very ragged, whose wit is their only livelihood, and nobody wondering all the time they thrive so ill, seeing they trade on so small a capital! No, depend upon it we want a body of men, of wisdom and cool judgments, to point out the safe course; men who for a moderate fee will remove our doubts, and pronounce on the wisdom or folly of any projected undertaking, coolly and dispassionately telling the truth and shaming the devil.

I think I must already have said enough upon the necessity of establishing our new profession. Every body feels it; no one now places the least confidence in advisers, be they who they may. The whole thing is brought into contempt and disrepute by its abuse. Let any one make the experiment; and in a family circle, where all consider themselves entitled to the privilege of advising, let any body unexpectedly propound the question, Shall I marry a certain young lady? Then comes forth family advice, or every aunt her own physician. Your father sarcastically hopes you can be happy without money; your aunt doubts if she be not somewhat of a flirt; your pretty cousin thinks if beauty be a crime, she has small sin of that kind to answer for; and it is only by accident that an eccentric relative, whom nobody ever thought worth caring for, blunders upon some sense and kindness, and tells you to marry her if you love her. This

is the best advice you get on such an affair. Every body judges for themselves, not one for you; you are to marry, and they to decide, inflamed by all manner of prejudice and pride. How I nauseate such advice,—this it is that has driven thousands to the rope and the river.

I propose, therefore, to establish a new order or profession of men, whose duty shall be to give advice to those who ask and pay for it, who shall be styled PARAINETIKOI. No man, since the fall of Adam, but daily feels the want of such an order of men, a body prepared for their duties by education and experience, dispassionate, calm, and, above all, disinterested. The education of the PARAINETIKOI is the first thing to be considered. If they are not to be the subjects of a regular and scientific instruction, all confidence will be lost, and men will still be undecided in a case of emergency, in choosing between a PARAINETIKOS or their grandmother. I am, therefore, willing entirely to transfer the benefits of my proposed profession to the London University, which being denied the privilege of conferring degrees in any of the established professions, may engross the whole of the influence to be derived from empowering the new licentiates to exercise their profession. What rivalry from old and moss worn establishments need the London University fear, so long as they possess the undoubted privilege of bestowing the honorable rank in society of a PARAINETIKOS !

The system of instruction for this profession must bear a very considerable affinity and relationship to that of anatomy and medicine. General principles may be taught by lectures and books; but practice, and absolute intercourse with the world, will be quite as necessary to a student in our new profession, as hospital practice to a physician. For this purpose, I shall recommend to the University to set apart in their new building a kind of moral hospital, where the theoretical studies of the young men may be brought to the test of practice and experience. Give advice to the poor gratis, and let that advice be worth the fetching away; and abundant opportunities will be afforded the students of becoming well acquainted with human nature, the various modifications of passion, and the great principles of human

conduct and action.

The practice of the profession would very soon assume a settled and consistent form. Terms of art will be invented, and treatises and elementary books arranged. At first, I should recommend a register of cases to be kept by the University, and an account of the practice in each.

Jan. 10:---Two cases of confirmed melancholy on account of neglected love---tempers warm and irritable---tendency in a moderate degree to suicide. Ordered---a brisk dose of the decoction of vanity and self-love, with a plaster of hope. The dose operated so sharply, that a little anti-hatred wine was administered---the plaster useless. Both discharged cured.

Jan. 20 ---No less than ten cases of quarrels between man and wife. Seven applications from women, three from men. All these cases arose from morbid conditions of mind, which had constant tendency to inflammatory action, which in the female cases produced a sympathetic excitement of the tongue. Ordered that the cooling