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Lord. Even as a flattering dream, or worthless Lord. Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery, fancy.
And give them friendly welcome every one: Then take him up, and manage well the jest:- Let them want nothing that my house affords.Carry him gently to my fairest chamber,
[Exeunt Servant and Players And hang it round with all my wanton pictures: Sirrah, go you to Bartholomew, my page, Balm his foul head with warm distilled waters,
[To a Servant And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet: And see him dress'd in all suits like a lady: Procure me music ready when he wakes,
That done, conduct him to the drunkard's chamber, To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound;
And call him—madam, do him obeisance, And if he chance to speak, be ready straight, Tell him from me, (as he will win my love,) And, with a low submissive reverence,
He bear himself with honorable action, Say,—What is it your honor will command? Such as he hath observed in noble ladies Let one attend him with a silver bason,
Unto their lords, by them accomplished: Full of rose-water, and bestrew'd with flowers; Such duty to the drunkard let him do, Another bear the ewer, the third a diaper, With soft low tongue, and lowly courtesy; And say,-Will't please your lordship cool your And say—What is't your honor will command, hands?
Wherein your lady, and your humble wife, Some one be ready with a costly suit,
May show her duty, and make known her love? And ask him what apparel he will wear;
And then — with kind embracements, tempting Another tell him of his hounds and horse,
kisses, And that his lady mourns at his disease:
And with declining head into his bosom, Persuade him that he hath been lunatic;
Bid him shed tears, as being overjoy'd And, when he says he is,-say that he dreams, To see her noble lord restor'd to health, For he is nothing but a mighty lord.
Who, for twice seven years, hath esteemed him This do, and do it kindly, gentle sirs;
No better than a poor and loathsome beggar: It will be pastime passing excellent,
And if the boy have not a woman's gift, If it be husbanded with modesty."
To rain a shower of commanded tears, 1 Hun. My lord, I warrant you, we'll play our part, An onion will do well for such a shift; As he shall think, by our true diligence,
Which in a napkin being close convey'd, He is no less than what we say he is.
Shall in despite enforce a watery eye. Lord. Take him up gently, and to bed with him; See this despatch'd with all the haste thou canst; And each one to his office when he wakes.- Anon I'll give thee more instructions.[Some bear out Sly. A trumpet sounds.
[Exit Servant. Sirrah, go see what trumpet 'tis that sounds: I know, the boy will well usurp the grace,
[Exit Servant. Voice, gait, and action of a gentlewoman: Belike, some noble gentleman; that means, I long to hear him call the drunkard, husband; Travelling some journey, to repose him here.- And how my men will stay themselves from laughRe-enter a Servant.
When they do homage to this simple peasant. How now? who is it?
I'll in to counsel them: haply my presence
An it please your honor, May well abate the over merry spleen,
Which otherwise would go into extremes.
[Exeunt. Enter Players
Now, fellows, you are welcome. SCENEII-A Bedchamber in the Lord's House 1 Play. We thank your honor. Lord. Do you intend to stay with me to-night? Sur is discovered in arich night-gown, with Attend2 Play. So please your lordship to accept our duty.
ants; some with apparel, others with bason, Lord. With all my heart. This fellow I re
ewer, and other appurtenances. Enter Lord, member,
dressed like a Servant. Since once he play'd a farmer's eldest son ;- Sly. For God's sake, a pot of small ale. 'Twas where you woo'd the gentlewoman so well: i Serv. Will 't please your lordship drink a cup I have forgot your name; but sure that part
of sack? Was aptly fitted, and naturally perform’d.
2 Serv. Will 't please your honor taste of these 1 Play. I think, 'twas Soto that your honor means.
conserves? Lord. 'Tis very true;—thou didst it excellent. 3 Serv. What raiment will your honor wear to-day? Well, you are come to me in happy time:
Sly. I am Christopher Sly; call not me-honor, The rather, for I have some sport in hand, nor lordship: I never drank sack in my life; and if Wherein your cunning can assist me much. you give me any conserves, give me conserves of There is a lord will hear you play to-night: beef: Ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear; for I But I am doubtful of your modesties;
have no more doublets than backs, no more stockLest, over-eying of his odd behavior,
ings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet; nay, (For yet his honor never heard a play,)
sometimes, more feet than shoes, or such shoes as You break into some merry passion,
my toes look through the over-leather. And so offend him; for I tell you, sirs,
Lord. Heaven cease this idle humor in your If you should smile, he grows impatient.
honor! i Play. Fear not, my lord; we can contain our. O, that a mighty man of such descent, selves,
Of such possessions, and so high esteem, Were he the veriest antic in the world.
Should be infused with so foul a spirit!
Sly. What, would you make me mad? Am no
I Christopher Sly, old Sly's son of Burton-heath ; by For though you lay here in this goodly chamber, birth a pedlar, by education a card-maker, by trans- Yet would you say, ye were beaten out of doors; mutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession And rail upon the hostess of the house; a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wife of And say, you would present her at the leet, Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not Because she brought stone jugs and no seal'd quarts : fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket. up for the lyingest knave in Christendom. What, I Sly. Ay, the woman's maid of the house. am not bestraught;9 Here's
3 Serv. Why, sir, you know no house, nor no such 1 Serv. O, this it is that makes your lady mourn. 2 Serv. O, this it is that makes your servants Nor no such men, as you have reckon'd up,droop.
As Stephen Sly, and old John Naps of Greece, Lord. Hence comes it that your kindred shun And Peter Turf, and Henry Pimpernell; your house,
And twenty more such names and men as these, As beaten hence by your strange lunacy.
Which never were, and no man ever saw. 0, noble lord, bethink thee of thy birth;
Sly. Now, Lord be thank'd for my good amends! Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment, Ail. Amen. And banish hence these abject lowly dreams : Sly. I thank thee; thou shalt not lose by it. Look how thy servants do attend on thee, Each in his office ready at thy beck.
Enter the Page, as a lady, with Attendants. Wilt thou have music? hark! Apollo plays, [Music. And twenty caged nightingales do sing:
Page. How fares my noble lord ? Or wilt thou sleep? we'll have thee to a couch,
Sly. Marry, I fare well; for here is cheer enough. Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed
Where is my wife? On purpose trimm'd up for Semiramis.
Page. Here, noble lord; What is thy will with
her? Say, thou wilt walk; we will bestrew the ground: Or wilt thou ride? thy borses shall be trapp'd,
Sly. Are you my wife, and will not call me-hus
band? Their harness studded all with gold and pearl. Dost thou love hawking? thou hast hawks will soar My men should call me—Jord; I am your goodman. Above the morning lark: Or wilt thou hunt?
Page. My husband and my lord, my lord and hus
band; Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer them, And fetch shrill echoes from the hollow earth.
I am your wife in all obedience. 1 Serv. Say, thou wilt course; thy greyhounds
Sly. I know it well :—What must I call her?
Lord. Madam. are as swift As breathed stags, ay, fleeter than the roe.
Sly. Al'ce madam, or Joan madam? 2 Serv. Dost thou love pictures ? we will fetch
Lord. Madam, and nothing else; 8o lords call
ladies. thee straight Adonis, painted by a running brook :
Sly. Madam wife, they say that I have dream'd,
and slept And Cytherea all in sedges hid; Which seem to move and wanton with her breath,
Above some fifteen year and more. Even as the waving sedges play with wind.
Page. Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me : Lord. We'll show thee Io, as she was a maid;
Being all this time abandon'd from your bed. And how she was beguiled and surpris'd,
Sly. 'Tis much ;- -Servants, leave me and her
alone. As lively painted as the deed was done. 3 Serv. Or Daphne, roaming through a thorny
Madam, undress you, and come now to bed. wood;
Page. Thrice noble lord, let me entreat of you, Scratching her legs that one shall swear she bleeds: To pardon me yet for a night or two; And at that sight shall sad Apollo weep,
Or, if not so, until the sun be set: So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.
For your physicians have expressly charged, Lord. Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord :
In peril to incur your former malady, Thou hast a lady far more beautiful
That I should yet absent me from your bed : Than any woman in this waning age.
I hope, this reason stands for my excuse. 1 Serv. And, till the tears that she hath shed for
Sly. Ay, it stands so, that I may hardly tarry so thee,
long. But I would be loath to fall into my dreams Like envious floods, o'er-ran her lovely face,
again; I will therefore tarry, in despite of the flesh
and the blood.
Enter a Servant.
Serv. Your honor's players, hearing your amendI do not sleep; I see, I hear, I speak;
ment, I smell sweet savors, and I feel soft things :- Are come to play a pleasant comedy: Upon my life, I am a lord, indeed;
For so your doctors hold it very meet; And not a tinker, nor Christophero Sly.
Seeing too much sadness hath congeald your blood, Well, bring our lady hither to our sight:
And melancholy is the nurse of frenzy, And once again, a pot o' the smallest ale.
Therefore, they thought it good you hear a play, 2 Serv. Will't please your mightiness to wash And frame your mind to mirth and merriment,
Which bars a thousand harms, and lengthens life. [Servants present an ewer, basin, and napkin. Sly. Marry, I will; let them play it: Is not a O how we joy to see your wit restor'd !
commonty2 a Christmas gambol, or a tumbling0, that once more you knew but what you are ! trick? These fifteen years, you have been in a dream; Page. No, my good lord; it is more pleasing stuff. Or, when you wak'd, so wak'd as if you slept.
Sly. What, household stuff? Sly. These fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly Page. It is a kind of history. nap.
Sly. Well, we'll see't: Come, madam wife, sit by But did I never speak of all that time?
my side, and let the world slip; we shall ne'er be 1 Serv. 0, yes, my lord; but very idle words :- younger.
[They sit down. • Distracted.
• For comedy.
SCENE I.–Padua. A public Place. Hor. Mates, maid! how mean you that? no mates Enter Lucentio and Tranio.
Unless you were of gentler, milder mould. Luc. Tranio, since—for the great desire I had Kath. I'faith, sir, you shall never need to fear, To see fair Padua, nursery of arts,—
I wis,' it is not half way to her heart: I am arriv'd for fruitful Lombardy,
But, if it were, doubt not her care should be The pleasant garden of great Italy:
To comb your noddle with a three-legg'd stool, And, by my father's love and leave, am arm'd And paint your'face, and use you like a fool. With his good will, and thy good company, Hor. From all such devils, heaven deliver us! Most trusty servant, well approv'd in all;
Gre. And me too, good Lord ! Here let us breathe, and happily institute
Tra. Hush, master! here is some good pastime A course of learning, and ingenious studies.
toward; Pisa, renowned for grave citizens,
That wench is stark mad, or wonderful froward Gave me my being, and my father first,
Luc. But in the other's silence I do see A merchant of great traffic through the world, Maid's mild behavior and sobriety. Vincentio, come of the Bentivolii.
Peace, Tranio. Vincentio, his son, brought up in Florence,
Tra. Well said, master; mum! and gaze your It shall become, to serve all hopes conceiv'd,
fill. To deck his fortune with his virtuous deeds:
Bap. Gentlemen, that I may soon make good And therefore, Tranio, for the time I study, What I have said,-Bianca, get you in : Virtue, and that part of philosophy
And let it not displease thee, good Bianca; Will I apply, that treats of happiness
For I will love thee ne'er the less, my girl. By virtue 'specially to be achiev'd.
Kath. A pretty peat!' 'tis best Tell me thy mind: for I have Pisa left,
Put finger in the eye,—an she knew why. And am to Padua come: as he that leaves
Bian. Sister, content you in my discontent.A shallow plash,' to plunge him in the deep, Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe; And with satiety seeks to quench his thirst. My books, and instruments, shall be my company;
Tra. Mi perdonate, gentle master mine, On them to look, and practise by myself. I am in all affected as yourself;
Luc. Hark, Tranio! thou mayst hear Minerva Glad that you thus continue your resolve,
[Aside. To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy.
Hor. Signior Baptista, will you be so strange? Only, good master, while we do admire
Sorry am I, that our good will effects This virtue, and this moral discipline,
Bianca's grief. Let's be no stoics, nor no stocks, I pray;
Why will you mew her up, Or so devote to Aristotle's checks,
Signior Baptista, for this fiend of hell, As Ovid be an outcast quite abjur'd:
And make her bear the penance of her tongue?Talk logic with acquaintance that you have, Bap. Gentlemen, content ye; I am resolv'd :And practise rhetoric in your common talk: Go in, Bianca.
[Exit Bianca Music and poesy use to quicken you;
And for I know, she taketh most delight
In music, instruments, and poetry,
--If you, Hortensio, In brief, sir, study what you most affect.
Or signior Gremio, you-know any such,
I will be very kind, and liberal
To mine own children in good bringing up; And take a lodging fit to entertain
And so farewell. Katharina, you may stay; Such friends, as time in Padua shall beget. For I have more to commune with Bianca. [Exit. But stay a while: What company is this?
Kath. Why, and I trust, I may go too; May I Tra. Master, some show, to welcome us to town. Enter BAPTISTA, KATHARINA, BIANCA, Gremio, What, shall I be appointed hours; as though, belike,
and HORTENSIO. LUCENTIO and Tnaxio I knew not what to take, and what to leave? (Exit. stand aside.
Gre. You may go to the devil's dam; your gifts' Bap. Gentlemen, importune me no further,
are so good, here is none will hold you. Our love For now I firmly am resolv'd you know;
is not so great, Hortensio, but we may blow our nails That is,-not to bestow my youngest daughter,
together, and fast it fairly out; our cake's dough on Before I have a husband for the elder:
both sides. Farewell :-Yet, for the love I bear If either of you both love Katharina,
my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a Because I know you well, and love you well,
fit man, to teach her that wherein she derghts, I Leave shall you have to court her at your pleasure. will wish him to her father. Gre. To cart her rather: She's too rough for me:
Hor. So will I, signior Gremio: But a word, I There, there, Hortensio, will you any wife?
pray. Though the nature of our quarrel yet never Kath. I pray you, sir, [To Bap.] is it your will brook'd parle, know now, upon advice,” it toucheth To make a stale of me among these mates?
us both,--that we may yet again have access to • Ingenuous. • Small piece of water.
• Shut. • Pardon me.
• Harsh rules.
our fair mistress, and be happy rivals in Bianca's Her eldest sister is so curst and shrewd, love--to labor and effect one thing 'specially. ? That, till the father rid his hands of her, Gre. What's that, I pray ?
Master, your love must live a maid at home; Hor. Marry, sir, to get a husband for her sister. And therefore has he closely mew'd her up, Gre. A husband! a devil.
Because she shall not be annoy'd with suitors. Hor. I say, a husband.
Luc. Ah, Tranio, what a cruel father's he! Gre. I'say, a devil: Think'st thou, Hortensio, But art thou not advised, he took some care though her father be very rich, any man is so very To get her cunning schoolmasters to instruct her! a fool to he married to her?
Tra. Ay, marry, am I, sir; and now 'tis plotted. Hor. Tush, Gremio, though it pass your patience, Luc. I have it, Tranio. and mine, to endure her loud alarums, why, man, Tra.
Master, for my hand, there be good fellows in the world, an a man could Both our inventions meet and jump in one. light on them, would take her with all faults, and Luc. Tell me thine first. money enough.
You will be schoolmaster, Gre. I cannot tell; but I had as lief take her and undertake the teaching of the maid: dɔwry with this condition,—to be whipped at the That's your
device. high-cross, every morning.
It is: May it be done? Hor. 'Faith as you say, there's small choice in Tra. Not possible; For who shall bear your part, rotten apples. But, come; since this bar in law And be in Padua here Vincentio's son? makes us friends, it shall be so forth friendly main- Keep house, and ply his book; welcome his friends; tained, -till by helping Baptista's eldest daughter Visit his countrymen, and banquet them? to a husband, we set his youngest free for a hus- Luc. Basta; content thee; for I have it full. band, and then have to't afresh._Sweet Bianca! We have not yet been seen in any house; -Happy man be his dole! How say you, signior Nor can we be distinguished by our faces, Gremio ?
For man, or master: then it follows thus; Gre. I am agreed: and 'would I had given him Thou shalt be master, Tranio, in my stead, the best horse in Padua to begin his wooing, that Keep house, and port, and servants, as I should: would thoroughly woo her, wed her, and rid the I will some other be; some Florentine, house of her. Come on.
Some Neapolitan, or mean man of Pisa. [Exeunt Gremio und Hortensio. 'Tis hatch'd, and shall be so:— Tranio, at once Tra. [Advancing.) I pray, sir, tell me,-Is it Uncase thee; take my color'd hat and cloak: possible
When Biondello comes, he waits on thee; That love should of a sudden take such hold? But I will charm him first to keep his tongue. Luc. O 'Tranio, till I found it to be true,
Tra. So had you need. [They exchange habits. I never thought it possible, or likely;
In brief then, sir, sitho it your pleasure is, But see! while idly I stood looking on,
And I am tied to be obedient; I found the effect of love in idleness:
(For so your father charg'd me at our parting; And now in plainness do confess to thee, Be serviceable to my son, quoth he, That art to me as secret, and as dear,
Although, I think, 'twas in another sense;)
Because so well I love Lucentio.
Luc. Tranio, be so, because Lucentio loves: Counsel me, Tranio, for I know thou canst; And let me be a slave, to achieve that maid Assist me, Tranio, for I know thou wilt.
Whose sudden sight hath thrall'd my wounded eye. Tra. Master, it is no time to chide you now;
Enter BIONDELLO. Affection is not rated' from the heart: If love have touch'd you, nought remains but so, Here comes the rogue.-Sirrah, where have you Redime te captum quam queas minimo.
[are you? Luc. Gramercies, lad; go forward: this contents;
Bion. Where have I been ? Nay, how now, where The rest will comfort, for thy counsel's sound.
Master, has my fellow Tranio stol'n your clothes ? Tra. Master, you look'd so longly on the maid,
Or you stol'n his? or both ? pray, what's the news? Perhaps you mark'd not what's the pith of all.
Luc. Sirrah, come hither; 'tis no time to jest, Luc. O yes, I saw sweet beauty in her face,
And therefore frame your manners to the time. Such as the daughter of Agenor had,
Your fellow Tranio here, to save my life, That made great Jove to humble him to her hand, Puts my apparel and my countenance on, When with his knees he kiss'd the Cretan strand.
And I for my escape have put on his; Tra. Saw you no more ? mark'd you not, how her For in a quarrel, since I came ashore, sister
I kill'd a man, and fear I was descried : Began to scold; and faise up such a storm,
Wait you on him, I charge you, as becomes, That mortal ears might hardly endure the din?
While I make way from hence to save my life: Luc. Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move,
You understand me? And with her breath she did perfume the air;
I, sir ? ne'er a whit. Sacred, and sweer, was all I saw in her.
Luc. And not a jot of Tranio in your mouth; Tra. Nay, then 'tis time to stir him from his Tranio is changed into Lucentio. trance.
Bion. The better for him; Would I were so too! I pray, awake, sir; If you love the maid,
Tra. So would I, boy, to have the next wish after,Bend thoughts and wits to achieve her. Thus it That Lucentia indeed had Baptista's youngest stands:
[I advise * Driven out by chiding.
But, sirrah,--not for my sake, but your master's • Longingly. 6 Europa. 4 "Tis enough. & Show, appearance.
3 Gain or lot.
You use your manners discreetly in all kinds of And tell me now, sweet friend, -what happy galo companies :
Blows you to Padua here, from old Verona? When I am alone, why, then I am. Tranio: Pet. Such wind as scatters young men through But in all places else, your master Lucentio.
the world, Luc. Tranio, let's go :
To seek their fortunes further than at home,
Antonio, my father, is deceased:
(Exeunt. Haply to wive, and thrive, as best I may:
Sly. Yes, by saint Anne, do I. A good matter, And so am come abroad to see the world. surely; Comes there any more of it?
Hor. Petruchio, shall I then come roundly to thee, Page. My lord, 'tis but begun.
And wish thee to a shrewd ill-favored wife?
And yet I'll promise thee she shall be rich,
And very rich :--but thou'rt too much my friend,
And I'll not wish thee to her.
Few words suflice: and therefore, if thou know
One rich enough to be Petruchio's wife, Hortensio; and, I trow, this is his house :- (As wealth is burthen of my wooing dance,) Here, sirrah Grumio: knock, I say,
Be she as foul as was Florentius' love,
As Socrates' Xantippe, or a worse,
Gru. Knock you here, sir? why, sir, what am I, Affection's edge in me; were she as rough
As are the swelling Adriatic seas:
his mind is: Why, give him gold enough and marry And then I know after who comes by the worst. him to a puppet, or an aglet baby;" or an old trot Pet. Will it not be ?
with ne'er a tooth in her head, though she have as 'Faith, sirrah, an you'll not knock, I'll wring it; many diseases as two and fifty horses: why noI'll try how you can sol, fa, and sing it.
thing comes amiss, so money comes withal. [He wrings Grumio by the ears. Hor. Petruchio, since we have stepp'd thus far in, Gru. Help, masters, help! my master is mad. I will continue that I broach'd in jest. Pet. Now, knock when I hid you: sirrah! villain! I can, Petruchio, help thee to a wife Enter HORTENSIO.
With wealth enough, and young, and beauteous; Hor. How now? what's the matter?-My old Brought up as best becomes a gentlewoman :
Her only fault (and that is fault enough)
Is,—that she is intolerably curst,
And shrewd, and froward : so beyond all measure, fray ? Con tutto il core bene trovato, may I say.
I would not wed her for a mine of gold. [effect:-
Pet. Hortensio, peace; thou know'st not gold's
Gru. Nay, 'tis no matter, what he 'leges’ in Latin. For I will board her, though she chide as loud -If this be not a lawful cause for me to leave his As thunder, when the clouds in autumn crack.
Hor Her father is Baptista Minola, service,-Look you, sir,-he bid me knock him,
An afiable and courteous gentleman :
Her name is Katharina Minola,
Pet. I know her father, though I know not her,
I will not sleep, Hortensio, till I see her;
And therefore let me be thus bold with you,
To give you over at this first encounter,
Unless you will accompany me thither.
Gru. I pray you, sir, let him go while the humor
lasts. O'my word, an she knew him as well as I me here, Rap me here, knock me well, and knock me soundly? do, she would think scolding would do little good
upon And come you now with-knocking at the gate?
him: She may, perhaps, call him half a score
knaves, or so: why, that's nothing; an he begin Pet. Sirrah, be gone, or talk not, I advise you. Hor. Petruchio, patience; I am Grumio's pledge: once, he'll rail in his rope-tricks. I'll tell you what,
sir,--an she stand him but a little, he will throw a Why, this is a heavy chance 'twixt him and you; I sur ancient, tristy, pleasant servant Grumio.
• See the story, No. 30, of "A Thousand Notable Things."
• A small image on the tag of a lace. • Alleges.
• Abusive language.