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to call honest people names; for that bears very hard on some of those rules of decency which you are justly famous for establishing. They may find fault, and correct speeches in the senate, and at the bar; but let them try to get themselves so often, and with so much eloquence, repeated in a sentence, as a great orator doth frequently introduce me.
My lords ! (says he) with humble submission, That that I say is this; that, Tbat that that gentleman has advanced, is not That that he should have proved to your lordships. Let those two questionary petitioners try to do thus with their Wbos and their IVbiches.
What great advantage was I of to Mr. Dryden in his Indian Emperor,
You force me still to answer you in Tbat, to furnish out a rhyme to Morat! And what a poor figure would Mr. Bayes have made without bis Egad, and all That! How can a judicious man distinguish one thing from another, without saying This bere, or That there? And how can a sober man, without using the erpletives of oaths (in which indeed the rakes and bullies have a great advantage over others), make a discourse of any tolerable length, without That is; and, if he be a very grave man indeed, without That is to say? And how instructive as well as entertaining are those usual expressions in the mouths of great men, Such things as That, and The like of That!
• I am not against reforming the corruptions of speech you mention, and own there are proper seasons for the introduction of other words besides That; but I scorn
as much to supply the place of a Woo or a Which at every turn, as they are unequal always to fill mine; and I expect good language and civil treat
ment, ment, and hope to receive it for the future: That, that I shall only add is, that I am,
ABOUT the middle of last winter I went to see an opera at the theatre in the Haymarket, where I could hot but take notice of two parties of very fine women that had placed themselves in the opposite side-boxes, and seemed drawn up in a kind of battle-array one against another.
After a short survey of them, I found they were patched differently; the faces on one hand being spotted on the right side of the forehead, and those upon the other on the left. I quickly perceived that they cast hostile glances upon one another; and that their patches were placed in those different situations, as party-signals to distinguish friends from foes. In the middle-boxes, between these two opposite bodies, were several ladies who patched indifferently on both sides of their faces, and seemed to sit there with no other intention but to see the opera. Upon inquiry, I found that the body of Amazons on my right hand were whigs, and those on my left tories; and that those who had placed themselves in the middle boxes were a neutral party, whoes faces had not yet declared themselves. These last, however, as I afterwards found, diminished daily, and took their party with one side or the other ; insomuch that I observed in several of them, the patches, which were before di
spersed equally, are now all gone over to the whig or tory side of the face. The censorious say that the men, whose hearts are aimed at, are very often the occasions that one part of the face is thus dishonoured, and lies under a kind of disgrace, while the other is so much set off and adorned by the owner; and that the patches turn to the right or to the left, according to the principles of the man who is most in favour. But, whatever may be the motives of a few fantastical coquettes, who do not patch for the public good so much as for their own private advantage, it is certain that there are several women of honour who patch out of principle, and with an eye to the inicrest of their country. Nay, I am informed that some of them adhere so stedfastly to their party, and are so far from sacrificing their zeal for the public to their passion for any particular person, that in a late draught of marriage articles a lady has stipulated with her husband, that, whatever his opinions are, she shall be at liberty to patch on which side she pleases.
I must here take notice, that Rosalinda, a famous whig partisan, has most unfortunately a very beautiful mole on the tory part of her forehead; which being very conspicuous, has occasioned many mistakes, and given a handle to her enemies to misrepresent her face, as though it had revolted from the whig interest. But, whatever this natural patch may seem to intimate, it is well known that her notions of government are stil! the same. This unlucky mole however has misled several coxcombs, and, like the lianging out of false colours, made some of them converse with Roslinda in what they thought the spirit of her party, when on a sudden she has given them an unexpected fire, thar has sunk them all at once. If Rosalinda is unfortunate in her mole, Nigranilla is as unhappy in a pimple, which forces her, against her inclinations, to patch on the whig side.
I am told that many virtuous matrons, who formerly have been taught to believe that this artificial spotting of the face was unlawful, are now reconciled, by a zeal for their cause, to what they could not be prompted by a concern for their beauty. This way of declaring war upon one another puts me in mind of what is reported of the tigress, that several spots rise in her skin when she is angry, or, as Mr. Cowley has imitated the verses that stand as the motto of this paper,
She swells with angry pride, And calls forth all her spots on every side. When I was in the theatre the time above mentioned, I had the curiosity to count the patches on both sides, and found the tory patches to be about twenty stronger than the whig; but to make amends for this small inequality, I the next morning found the whole puppet-show filled with faces spotted after the whiggish manner. Whether or no the ladies had retreated bis ther in order to rally their forces I cannot tell ; but the next night they came in so great a body to the opera, that they out-numbered the enemy.
This account of party-patches will, I am afraid, arpear improbable to those who live at a distance from the fashionable world : but, as it is a distinction of a very singular nature, and what perhaps may never meet with a parallel, I think I should not have discharged the office of a faithful SPECTATOR, had not I recorded it.
I have, in former Papers, endeavoured to expose this party-rage in women, as it only serves to aggravate the hatreds and animosities that reign among men, and in a great measure deprives the fair sex of those peruliar charms with which nature has endowed them.
Parry-raze is in its nature a male vice, and made up of many angry and cruel passions that are altogether repugnant to the softness, the modesty, and those other endearing qualities which are natural to the fair
Women were formed to temper mankind, and 800th them into tendernes and compassion; not to act an edge upon their minds, and blow up in them thool passions which are 100 apt to rise of their own accord. When I have seen a pretty mouth uttering calumnies and invectives, what would I not have given to have stopped it? Ilow I have been troubled to see bome of the linest feature in the world grow pale, and tremble with party-raze! Camilly is one of the greatest beauties in the British nation, and yet values herself more upon being the virano of one party than upon being the toast of both. The dear creature, about a werk pyn, encountered the fierce and beautiful Pentheilea across a tea-table; but in the height of her anger, as her band chanced to shake with the carnestDes of the depute, she scalded her fingers, and spilt a dish of tea upon her petticoat. Had not this acci. dent broke oil the debate, nobody knows where it would have ended.
There is one consideration which I would earnestly recommend to all my female readers, and which I hope will have some weight with them. In short, it is this, that there is nowhing so bad for the face as party zeal. It gives an ill-natured cast to the eye, and a disagreeable sourness to the look; besides that it makes the lines too strong, and flushes them worse