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was not one of them who did not think the new blemish, as foon as the had got it into her poffeffion, much more difagreeable than the old one. 'I made the fame observation on every other misfortune or calamity, which every one in the affembly brought upon himself in lieu of what he had part-ed with; whether it be that all the evils which befal us are in fome meafure fuited and proportioned to our ftrength, or that every evil becomes more fupportable by our being used to it, I fhall not determine.

I could not for my heart forbear pitying the poor hump-backed gentleman mentioned in the former paper, who went off a very well-fhaped perfon with a stone in his bladder; nor the fine gentleman who had ftruck up this bargain with him, that limped through a whole affembly of ladies, who use to admire him, with a pair of fhoulders peeping over his head.

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I must not omit my own particular adventure. My friend with the long vifage had no fooner taken upon him my fhort face, but he made fuch a grotefque figure in it, that as I looked upon him I could not forbear laughing at myself, infomuch that I put my own face out of countenance. 'poor gentlemen was fo fenfible of the ridicule, that I found he was afhamed of what he had done : On the other fide, I found that I myself had no great reafon to triumph, for as I went to touch my forehead, I miffed the place, and clapped my finger upon my upper lip. Befides, as my nofe was exceeding prominent, I gave it two or three unlucky knocks as I was playing my hand about my face, and aiming at fome other part of it. I faw two other gentlemen by me, who were in the fame ridiculous circumftances. Thefe had made a foolish fwop between a couple of thick bandy legs and two long trapfticks that had no calfs to them. One of thefe looked like a man walking upon ftilts, and

was

was fo lifted up into the air, above his ordinary height, that his head turned round with it, while the other made fuch aukward circles, as they attempted to walk, that he scarce knew how to move forward upon his new supporters: Obferving him to be a pleasant kind of fellow, I ftuck my cane in the ground, and told him I would lay him a bottle of wine, that he did not inarch up to it on a line that I drew for him, in a quarter of an hour.

The heap was at last distributed among the two fexes, who made a moft pitious fight, as they wandered up and down under the preffure of their feveral burdens. The whole plain was filled with murmurs and complaints, groans, and lamentations. Jupiter at length, taking compaffion on the poor mortals, ordered them a fecond time to lay down their loads, with a defign to give every one his own again. They difcharged themfelves with a great deal of pleafure; after which the phantom, who had led them into fuch grofs delufions, was commanded to disappear. There was fent in her stead a goddefs of a quite different figure: Her motions were fteady and compofed, and her afpect ferious but cheerful. She every now and then caft her eyes towards heaven, and fixed them upon Jupiter: Her name was Patience. She had no fooner placed herself by the mount of forrows, but what I thought very remarkable, the whole heap funk to fuch a degree, that it did not appear a third part fo big as it was before. She afterwards returned every man his own proper calamity, and teaching him how to bear it in the most commodious manner, he marched off with it contentedly, being very well pleafed that he had not been left to his own choice, as to the kind of evils which fell to his lot.

Besides the feveral pieces of morality to be drawn out of this vifion, I learned from it, never to repine at my own misfortunes, or to envy the happinefs of another, fince it is impoffible for any man VOL. VIII. C

to

to form a right judgment of his neighbours fufferings; for which reafon alfo I have determined never to think too lightly of another's complaints, but to regard the forrows of my fellow-creatures with fentiments of humanity and compaffion.

No 560. MONDAY, JUNE 28.

Verba intermiffa retentat.

OVID. Met. 1. i. ver. 746.

He tries his tongue, his filence softly breaks.

EV

DRYDEN.

VERY one has heard of the famous conjurer who, according to the opinion of the vulgar, has ftudied himself dumb; for which reafon, as it is believed, he delivers out all his oracles in writing. Be that as it will, the blind Tirefias was not more famous in Greece, than this dumb artist has been for fome years laft paft, in the cities of London and Westminster. Thus much for the profound gentleman who honours me with the following epiftle.

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SIR,

From my Cell, June 24, 1714. BEING informed that you have lately got the ufe of your tongue, I have fome thoughts of following your example, that I may be a Fortuneteller, properly speaking. 1 am grown weary of my taciturnity, and having ferved my country many years under the title of the Dumb Doctor, I fhall now prophely by word of mouth, and (as Mr. Lee fays of the Magpy, who you know was a great fortune-teller among the ancients) chatter futurity. I have hitherto chofen to receive que⚫ftions and return anfwers in writing, that I might • avoid the tedioufnefs and trouble of debates, my querifts being generally of an humour to think, • that they have never predictions enough for their " money.

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money. In short, Sir, my cafe has been fomething ⚫ like that of those difcreet animals the monkeys, who, as the Indians tell us, can fpeak if they 'would, but purposely avoid it that they may not be made to work. I have hitherto gained a • livelihood by holding my tongue, but fhall now open my mouth in order to fill it. If I appear a little word-bound in my first folutions and refponfes I hope it will not be imputed to any want of forefight, but to the long difufe of fpeech. I doubt not by this invention to have all my former 'cuftomers over again; for if I have promised any of them lovers or husbands, riches or good luck, it is my defign to confirm to them viva voce, what I have already given them under my hand. If you will honour me with a vifit, I will compliment 'you with the firft opening of my mouth, and if ⚫ you please you may make an entertaining dialogue

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out of the converfation of two dumb men. Ex'cufe this trouble, worthy Sir, from one who has ⚫ been a long time

Your filent admirer,

'CORNELIUS AGRIPPA.'

I have received the following letter, or rather Billet-doux, from a pert young baggage, who congratulates with me upon the fame occafion.

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Dear Mr. PRAT-AFACE,

June 23, 1714. IAM a member of a female fociety who call ourfelves the Chit-Chat club, and am ordered by the whole fifterhood to congratulate you upon the ufe of your tongue. We have all of us a mighty mind to hear you talk, and if you will take your place among us for an evening, we have unanimoufly agreed to allow you one minute in ten,» without interruption.

"I am, SIR,

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P. S. You may find us at my Lady Betty Clack's, who will leave orders with her porter, that if an el derly gentleman, with a fhort face, inquires for her, he ball be admitted, and no queftions asked.

As this particular paper shall confift wholly of what I have received from my correfpondents, I fhall fill up the remaining part of it with other congratulatory letters of the fame nature.

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SIR,

Oxford, June 25, 1714. WE E are here wonderfully pleafed with the opening of your mouth, and very frequently open ours in approbation of your defign; efpecially fince we find you are refolved to preferve your taciturnity as to all party-matters.

We do not queftion but you are as great an orator as Sir Hudibras, of whom the Poet fweetly fings, He could not ope

His mouth, but out there flew a trope.

If you will fend us down the half-dozen well turned periods, that produced fuch difmal effects in your muscles we will depofit them near an old manufcript of Tully's orations, among the archives of the university; for we all agree. with you,

that there is not a more remarkable accident recorded in hiftory, fince that which happened to the fon of Græfus; nay, I believe you might have gone higher, and have added Balaam's Afs. We are impatient to fee more of your productions, and expect what words will next fall from you, with as much attention as thofe who were fet to watch the speaking head, which Frier Bacon formerly erected in this place. We are

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Worthy SIR,

Your most humble fervants,
B. R. T.D, &c,

• Honeft

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