old age.' The cardinal here foftens his ambition by the fpecious pretence of ferving his king: Whereas his words, in the proper conftruction, imply, that if instead of being acted by ambition, he had been acted by religion, he fhould now have felt the comforts of it, when the whole world turned its back upon him.

Thirdly, Let us compare the pains of the fenfual with those of the virtuous, and fee which are heavier in the balance. It may feem ftrange, at the firft view, that the men of pleasure thould be advised to change their courfe, because they lead a painful life. Yet when we fee them fo active and vigilant in queft of delight; under fo many difquiets, and the fport of fuch various paffions; let them anfwer, as they can, if the pains they undergo do not outweigh their enjoyments. The infidelities on the one part between the two fexes, and the caprices on the other, the debafement of reafon, the pangs of expectation, the difappointments in poffeffion, the ftings of remorfe, the vanities and vexations attending even the most refined delights that make up this business of life, render it fo filly and uncomfortable, that no man is thought wife until he hath got over it, or happy, but in proportion as he hath cleared himfelf from it.

The fum of all is this. Man is made an active being. Whether he walks in the paths of virtue or vice, he is fure to meet with many difficulties to prove his patience and excite his induftry. The fame, if not greater labour is required in the fervice of vice and folly, as of virtue and wisdom : And he hath this eafy choice left him, whether, with the ftrength he is mafter of, he will purchase happinefs or repentance.

**********************

N° 625. FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26.

Amores

De tenero meditatur ungui.

HOR. Od. vi..lib. ïïì. ver. 25.

Love, from her tender years, her thoughts employ'd.

THE Love-Cafuift hath referred to me the follow

ing letter of queries, with his anfwers to each queftion, for my approbation. I have accordingly confidered the feveral matters therein contained, and hereby confirm and ratify his anfwers, and require the gentle querift to conform herfelf there

unto.

SIR,

WAS thirteen the ninth of November laft, and muft now begin to think of fettling myself in the world, and fo I would humbly beg your ad'vice, what I must do with Mr. Fondle, who makes

his addreffes to me. He is a very pretty man, ' and hath the blackeft eyes and whitest teeth you ever faw. Though he is but a younger brother, he dreffes like a man of quality, and no body comes into the room like him. I know he hath • refufed great offers, and if he cannot marry me, ' he will never have any body elfe. But my father hath forbid him the house, because he fent me a copy of verfes; for he is one of the greatest wits in town. My eldest fifter, who, with her goodwill, would call me Mifs as long as I live, must be • married before me, they fay. She tells them that • Mr. Fondle makes a fool of me, and will spoil the child, as the calls me, like a confident thing as 'fhe is. In fhort, I am refolved to marry Mr.

Fondle

Fondle, if it be but to fpite her. But, because I 'would do nothing that is imprudent, I beg of you

to give me your anfwers to fome questions I will 'write down, and defire you to get them printed

in the SPECTATOR, and I do not doubt but you ⚫ will give fuch advice, as I am fure I fhall follow.

When Mr. Fondle looks upon me for half an hour together, and calls me Angel, is he not in • love?

Answer, No.

May not I be certain he will be a kind hufband, that has promifed me half my portion in 'pin-money, and to keep me a coach and fix in the bargain?

No.

Whether I, who have been acquainted with him this whole year almost, am not a better judge of his merit than my father and mother, who never heard him talk but at table?

No.

Whether I am not old enough to chufe for

myself?

No.

• Whether it would not have been rude in me to ⚫ refuse a lock of his hair?

No,

• Should not I be a very barbarous creature, if I did not pity a man who is always fighing for my fake?

No.

A a 3

• Whether

'Whether you would not advise me to run away with the poor man?

No..

• Whether you do not think, that if I will not have him, he will not drown himself?

No.

• What fhall I fay to him the next time he asks me if I will marry him?

No.

The following letter requires neither introduction nor answer.

• Mr. SPECTATOR,

:I

Wonder that, in the prefent fituation of affairs, you can take pleasure in writing any thing but news; for, in a word, who minds any thing elfe? The pleasure of increafing in knowledge, and learning fomething new every hour of life, is the • nobleft entertainment of a rational creature. I have a very good ear for a fecret, and am naturally of a communicative temper; by which means I am capable of doing you great fervices in this way. In order to make myfelf useful, I am early in the antichamber, where I thruft my head into the thick of the prefs, and catch the news at the opening of the door, while it is warm. Sometimes I ftand by the beef-eaters, and take the buz as it paffes by me. At other times I lay my ear clofe to the wall, and fuck in many a valuable whisper, as it runs in a strait line from corner to corner. When I am weary with ftanding, I repair to one of the neighbouring coffee-houses, ⚫ where I fit fometimes for a whole day, ́and have the news as it comes from court fresh and fresh. • In fhort, Sir, I fpare no pains to know how the 'world goes. A piece of news lofes its flavour

1

• when

when it hath been an hour in the air. I love, if I may fo fpeak, to have it fresh from the tree; ' and to convey it to my friends before it is faded. Accordingly, my expences in coach-hire make no fmall article; which you may believe, when I affure you, that I poft away from coffee-house to coffee-house, and foreftal the Evening Post by two hours. There is a certain gentleman, who hath given me the flip twice or thrice, and hath 'been beforehand with me at Child's. But I have ⚫ played him a trick. I have purchased a pair of the best coach-horfes I could buy for money, and now let him outftrip me if he can. Once more,

• Mr. SPECTATOR, let me advife you to deal in 6 news. You may depend upon my affiftance. But I muft break off abruptly, for I have twenty

• letters to write.

Yours in hafte,

THO. QUIDNUNC.'

No 626. MONDAY, NOVEMBER 29.

I

Dulcique animos novitate tenebo.

OVID. Met. 1. iv. ver.

With fweet novelty your taste I'll please.

284.

EUSDEN.

HAVE feen a little work of a learned man, confifting of extemporary fpeculations, which owed their birth to the moft trifling occurrences of life. His ufual method was, to write down any fudden ftart of thought which arofe in his mind upon the fight of any odd gefticulation in a man, any whimfical mimicry of reafon in a beaft, or whatever appeared remarkable in any object of the visible creation. He was able to moralize upon a fnuff-box, would flourish eloquently upon a tucker, or a pair

of