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I

Honest SPEC,

Middle-Temple, June 24.

Aм very glad to hear that thou beginneft to prate; and find, by thy yesterday's vision, thou art fo ufed to it, that thou canst not for← bear talking in thy fleep. Let me only advise thee to speak like other men, for I am afraid thou wilt be very queer, if thou doft not intend · to use the phrafes in fashion, as thou calleft them in thy fecond paper. Haft thou a mind to pafs 6- for a Bantamite, or to make us all Quakers? I do affure thee, dear SPEC, I am not polished our of my veracity, when I fubfcribe myself

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Thy conftant admirer,

and humble fervant,

FRANK TOWNLY.'

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N°561. WEDNESDAY, JUNE 30,

Paulatim abolere Sichaum

Incipit, et vivo tentat prævertere amore
Fampridem refides animos defuetaque corda.
VIRG. Æn. i. ver. 724.

But he

Works in the pliant bofom of the fair,

And moulds her heart anew, and blots her for

mer care.

The dead is to the living love refign'd,

And all Encas enters in her mind. DRYDEN.

I

SIR

AM

Aм a tall, broad-fhouldered, impudent, black fellow, and, as I thought, every way qualified. for a rich widow: But, after having tried my • fortune for above three years together, I have not been able to get one fingle relict in the mind. 'My first attacks were generally fuccefsful, but always broke off as foon as they came to the word • fettlement

C.3

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fettlement. Though I have not improved my fortune this way, I have my experience, and have learnt feveral fecrets which may be of ufe to those unhappy gentlemen, who are commonly diftinguished by the name of widow-hunters, and who 'do not know that this tribe of women are, generally fpeaking, as much upon the catch as them• felves. I fhall here communicate to you the myfteries of a certain female cabal of this order, who call themfelves the Widow-Club. This club confifts of nine experienced dames, who take their places, once a week, round a large oval ⚫ table.

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I. Mrs. Prefident is a perfon who has difpofed of fix husbands, and is now determined to take a seventh; being of opinion that there is as much virtue in the touch of a feventh hufband as of a feventh fon. Her comrades are as follow.

• II. Mrs. Snapp, who has four jointures by four different bed-fellows of four different fhires. She is at prefent upon the point of marriage with a Middlefex man, and is faid to have an ambition of extending her poffeffions through all the counties in England, on this fide the Trent.

III. Mrs. Medlar, who, after two husbands and a galant, is now wedded to an old gentleman of fixty. Upon her making her report to the club, after a week's cohabitation, she is still allowed to fit as a widow, and accordingly takes her place at the board.

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IV. The widow Quick, married within a fortnight after the death of her laft husband. Her weeds have ferved her thrice, and are ftill as good

as new.

V. Lady Katharine Swallow. She was a widow at eighteen, and has fince buried a fecond hufband and two coachmen.

• VI. The Lady Waddle. She was married in the fifteenth year of her age to Sir Simon Waddle,

knight,

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knight, aged threefcore and twelve, by whom the had twins nine months after his decease. In the • fifty-fifth year of her age fhe was married to James Spindle, Efq; a youth of one-and-twenty, who did not out-live the honey-moon.

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• VII. Deborah Conqueft. The cafe of this Lady is fomething particular. She is the relict of Sir Sampfon Conqueft, fometime juftice of the Quorum. Sir Sampfon was feven feet high, and two feet in breadth from the tip of one shoulder to the other. ← He had married three wives, who all of them died in childbed. This terrified the whole fex, 'who none of them durft venture on Sir Sampson. At length Mrs. Deborah undertook him, and gave fo good an account of him, that in three years ' time the very fairly laid him out, and measured his length upon the ground. This exploit has gained her fo great a reputation in the club, that they added Sir Samffon's three victories to hers, and give her the merit of a fourth widowhood; and the takes her place accordingly.

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VIII. The widow Wildfire, relict of Mr. John ← Wildfire, Fox-hunter, who broke his neck over a fix-bar gate. She took his death fo much to ‹ heart, that it was thought it would have put an • end to her life, had the not diverted her forrows by receiving the addreffes of a gentleman in the neighbourhood, who made love to her in the fecond month of her widowhood. This gentleman was difcarded in a fortnight, for the fake of a young Templar, who had the poffeffion of her for fix weeks after, until he was beaten out by a broken officer, who likewife gave up his place to a gentleman at court. The courtier was as fhort-lived a favourite as his predeceffors, but had the pleasure to see himself fucceeeded by a long feries of lovers, who followed the widow • Wildfire to the thirty-feventh year of her age, at which time there enfued a ceffation of ten years,

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when

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when John Felt, haberdasher, took it in his head to be in love with her, and it is thought will very fuddenly carry her off.

• IX. The last is pretty Mrs. Runnet, who broke her firft hufband's heart before fhe was fixteen, at which time fhe was entered of the club, but foon after left it, upon accouut of a fecond, whom the made fo quick a difpatch of, that the returned to her feat in lefs than a twelvemonth. This young matron is looked upon as the most rifing member of the fociety, and will probably be in the prefident's chair before the dies.

Thefe ladies, upon their first institution, refolved to give the pictures of their deceased hufbands to the club-room, but two of them bringing in their dead at full length, they covered all the walls Upon which they came to a fecond refolution, that every matron fhould give her own picture, and fet it round with her husbands in miniature.

'As they have most of them the misfortune to be troubled with the colick, they have a noble• cellar of cordials and ftrong waters. When they grow maudlin, they are very apt to commemorate their former partners with a tear. But afk them which of their hufbands they condole, they are not able to tell you, and discover plainly that they do not weep fo much for the lofs of a husband as for the want of one.

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The principal rule, by which the whole fociety are to govern themselves is this, to cry up the pleasures of a fingle life upon all occafions, in order to deter the reft of their fex from mar⚫riage, and ingrofs the whole male world to themfelves.

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They are obliged, when any one makes love to a member of the fociety, to communicate his name, at which time the whole affembly fit upon his reputation, perfon, fortune, and good-hu

mour;

mour; and if they find him qualified for a fifter of the club, they lay their heads together how to make him fure. By this means they are acquaint⚫ed with all the widow-hunters about town, who ⚫ often afford them great diverfion. There is an ⚫ honeft Irish gentleman, it seems, who knows nothing of this fociety, but at different times has made love to the whole club.

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• Their converfation often turns upon their for'mer husbands, and it is very diverting to hear ⚫ them relate their several arts and ftratagems, with ⚫ which they amufed the jealous, pacified the choleric, or wheedled the good-natured man, until at laft, to use the club phrafe, They fent him out of the houfe with his heels foremost.

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The politics which are most cultivated by this fociety of fhe-Machiavels, relate chiefly to these two points, How to treat a lover, and how to manage a husband. As for the first fet of artifices, they are too numerous to come within the compafs of your paper, and shall therefore be ་ referved for a fecond letter.

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The management of a husband is built upon the following doctrines, which are univerfally affented to by the whole club, Not to give him his head at firft. Not to allow him too great • freedoms and familiarities. Not to be treated by

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him like a raw girl, but as a woman that knows the world. Not to leffen any thing of her former figure. To celebrate the generofity, or any other virtue of a deceafed hufband, which the would recommend to his fucceffor. To turn

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away all his old friends and fervants, that fhe may have the dear man to herfelf. To make him difinherit the undutiful children of any former wife. Never to be thoroughly convinced of •his affection, until he has made over to her all his goods and chattels,

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· After

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