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• obftinate female, who had for fome time refused me admittance. I made a lodgement in an outer parlour about twelve: The enemy retired to her bed-chamber, yet I ftill purfued, and about two o'clock this afternoon the thought fit to capitu late. Her demands are indeed fomewhat high, in relation to the fettlement of her fortune. But being in poffeffion of the house, I in⚫tended to infift upon Carte Blanche, and am in hopes, by keeping off all other pretenders for the space of twenty-four hours, to ftarve her into a compliance. I beg your speedy advice, • and am,

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SIR, Yours,

• PETER PUSH.

From my camp in Red-Lion fquare, Saturday four in the afternoon.

N° 567. WEDNESDAY, JULY 14.

-Inceptus clamor fruftratur hiantes,
VIRG. En. vi. v. 493.

The weak voice deceives their gafping throats,
DRYDEN.

HAVE received private advice from fome of my correfpondents, that if I would give my paper a general run, I fhould take care to feafon it with fcandal. I have indeed obferved of late that few writings fell which are not filled with great names and illuftrious titles. The reader generally cafts his eye upon a new book, and if he finds feveral letters feparated from one another by a dafh, he buys it up, and perufes it with great fatisfaction. An M and an h, a T and an r, with a fhort line between them, has fold many infipid pamphlets.

Nay

Nay I have known a whole edition go off by virtue of two or three well written &c

-'s.

A fprinkling of the words Faction, Frenchman, Papift, Plunderer, and the like fignificant terms, in an Italic character, have also a very good effect upon the eye of the purchaser; not to mention fcribbler, liar, rogue, rascal, knave, and villain, without which it is impoffible to carry on a modern controverfy.

Our party-writers are fo fenfible of the fecret virtue of an innuendo to recommend their productions, that of late they never mention the Q-n or P―t at length, though they speak of them with honour, and with that deference which is due to them from every private perfon. It gives a fecret fatisfaction to a perufer of thofe myfterious works, that he is able to decipher them without help, and, by the ftrength of his own natural parts, to fill up a blank-space, or make out a word that has only the firft or laft letter to it.

Some of our authors indeed, when they would be more fatirical than ordinary, omit only the vowels of a great man's name, and fall most unmercifully upon all the confonants. This way of writing was first of all introduced by T-m Br-wn, of facetious memory, who, after having gutted a proper name of all its intermediate vowels, ufed to plant it in his works, and make as free with it as he pleased, without any danger of the ftatute.

That I may imitate these celebrated authors, and publish a paper which fhall be more taking than ordinary, I have here drawn up a very curious libel, in which a reader of peneration will find a great deal of concealed fatire, and, if he be acquainted with the prefent pofture of affairs, will cafily discover the meaning of it.

If there are four perfons in the nation who en

deavour

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⚫deavour to bring all things into confufion, and ru⚫ in their native country, I think every honest Eng 1-fbm-n ought to be upon his guard. That there are fuch, every one will agree with me, who hears me name *** with his first friend and favou rite***, not to mention *** nor ***. These people may cry ch-rch, ch-rch, as long as they pleafe, but, to make ufe of a homely proverb, the proof. of the pu-dd-ing is in the eating. This I am fure of, that if a certain Prince fhould concur with as certain prelate, (and we have Monfieur Z-n's word for it) our pofterity would be in a fweet pkle. Muft the British nation fuffer forfooth, because my Lady 2-p-t-s has been difobliged? Or is it reasonable for our English fleet, which used to be the terror of the ocean, fhould lie wind-bound for the fake of a1. I love to fpeak out and declare my mind clearly, when a am talking for the good of my country. I will not make my court to an ill man, though he were a B- -y or a T-y. Nay, I would not stick to call fuch a politician, a traitor, an enemy to his country, and a Bl-nd-rb-fs, &c. &c.'.

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The remaining part of this political treatise, which is written after the manner of the most celebrated authors in Great Britain, I may communicate to the publick at a more convenient feafon. In the mean while I fhall leave this with my curious reader, as fome ingenious writers do their enigmas, and if any fagacious perfon can fairly unriddle it, I A will print his explanation, and, if he pleafes, acṛ quaint the world with his name.

I hope this fhort effay will convince my readers, it is not for want of abilities that I avoid state-tracts, and that if I would apply my mind to it, I might in a little time be as great a master of the political fcratch as any the most eminent writer of the age. I fhall only add, that in order to outfhine all this modern race of Syncopifts, and thoroughly content my

English.

Englifb reader, I intend fhortly to publish a SPECTATOR, that fhall not have a fingle vowel in it.

XXXXXXXXXXX

No 568.

I

FRIDAY, JULY 16.

Dum recitas, incipit effe tuus.

Reciting makes it thine.

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MART. Ep. xxxix. lib. 1.

WAS yesterday in a coffee-houfe not far from the Royal-Exchange, where I obferved three perfons in clofe conference over a pipe of tobacco; upon which, having filled for my own ufe, I light. ed it at the little wax-candle that ftood before them; and after having thrown in two or three whiffs amongst them, fat down and made one of the company. I need not tell my reader, that lighting a man's pipe at the fame candle, is looked upon among brother-fmoakers as an overture to converfation and friendship. As we here laid our heads together in a very amicable manner, being entrenched under a cloud of our own raifing, I took up the last SPECTATOR, and cafting my eye over it, The SPECTATOR, fays I, is very witty today; upon which a lufty lethargic old gentleman, who fat at the upper end of the table, having gradually blown out of his mouth a great deal of fmoke, which he had been collecting for fome time before, Ay, fays he, more witty than wife, I am afraid. His neighbour, who fat at his right hand, immediately coloured, and being an angry politician, laid down his pipe with fo much wrath, that he broke it in the middle, and by that means furnifhed me with a tobacco-ftopper. I took it up very fedately, and looking him full in the face, made use of it from time to time, all the while he

was

was fpeaking: This fellow, fays he, can't for his life keep out of politicks. Do you fee how he abuses four great men here? I fixed my eye very attentively on the paper, and asked him if he meant thofe who were meant by afterisks. Afterisks, fays he, do you call them? they are all of them ftars. He might as well have put garters to 'em. Then pray do but mind the two or three next lines: Ch-rch and p-dd-ng in the fame fentence! Our clergy are very much beholden to him. Upon this the third gentleman, who was of a mild difpofition, and as I found a whig in his heart, defired him not to be too fevere upon the SPECTATOR, neither; For, fays he, you find he is very cautious of giving offence, and has therefore put two dashes in his pudding. A fig for his dafb, fays the angry politician. In his next fentence he gives a plain innuendo, that our pofterity will be in a fweet pickle. What does the fool mean by his pickle? Why does he not write it at length, if he means heneftly? I have read over the whole fentence, fays I; but I look upon the parenthefis in the belly of it to be the most dangerous part, and as full of infinuations as it can hold. But who, fays I, is my Lady Q-p-t-s? Ay, anfwer that if you can, Sir, fays the furious. ftatesman to the poor whig that fat over-against him. But without giving him time to reply, I do affure you, fays he, were I my Lady Q-p-t-s, I would fue him for fcandalum magnatum. What is the world come to? Muft every body be allowed to- ? He had by this time filled a new pipe, and applying it to his lips, when we expected the laft word of his fentence, put us off with a whiff of tobacco; which he redoubled with fo much rage and trepidation, that he almoft ftifled the whole company. After a fhort paufe, I owned that I thought the SPECTATOR had gone too far in writing fo many letters of my Lady 2-p-t-s's name; but however, fays I, he has made a little amends for it in his next fentence, where he leaves a blank Space without fo much as a confonant

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