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Mrs. Ford. Here, read, read ;-perceive how I might be knighted.-I shall think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking. Oh! what tempest, trow, threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in him ashore at Windsor?-How shall I be reveng'd on him?-Did you ever hear the like?

Mrs. Page. Letter for letter; but that the name of Page and Ford differs!-To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin brother of thy letter: but let thine inherit first; for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant, he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names.

Mrs. Ford. Why, this is the very same: the very hand, the very words :-What doth he think of us?

Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not: It makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he knew some strain in me, that I know not myself, he would never have attack'd me in this fury. Let's be reveng'd on him: let's appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in his suit; and lead him on with a fine-baited delay, till he hath pawn'd his horses to mine host of the Garter.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any villainy against him, that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. Oh, that my husband saw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy.

Mrs. Page. Heaven be prais'd, my husband's as far from jealousy as I am from giving him cause.

Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman.

Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this greasy knight :-Look, who comes yonder.

Mrs. Ford. Mrs. Quickly.

Mrs. Page. She shall be our messenger to this paltry knight.

Mrs. Ford. Trust me, I thought on her; she'll fit it. Mrs. Page. And well fit him-Come to prove it.

[Exit, L. Mrs. Ford. I'll follow on the instant-Oh, Mr. Ford -why thus long absent? For as to this old, vain, silly knight, how can he suppose

SONG.-MRS. FORD.

Crabbed age and youth
Cannot live together,
Youth like summer morn,
Age like winter weather.
Age is full of care,

Youth is full of pleasure,

Age like winter bare,

Youth like summer weather.

Age, I do abhor thee,

Youth, I do adore thee,

O sweet Husband hie thee,

Methinks thou stay'st too long.

Enter FORD with PISTOL, and PAGE with NYM, R. Ford. (R. C.) Well, I hope it be not so.

Pist. Hope is a curtail-dog in some affairs:
Sir John affects thy wife:

He loves thy gally-mawfry; Ford, perpend.
Ford. Love my wife?

Pist. With liver burning hot: Prevent, or go thou, Like Sir Acteon he, with Ring-wood at thy heels:O, odious is the name!

Ford. What name, sir?

Pist. The horn, I say: Farewell.

Take heed; have open eye for thieves do foot by night: Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo birds do

sing.

Away, sir corporal Nym-
Believe it, Page, he speaks sense.

[Exit, L.

Ford. (R. c.) I will be patient; I will find out this. Nym. And this is true: I like not the humour of lying. He loves your wife; there's the short and the long. Tis true my name is Nym; and Falstaff loves your wife. Ford. I will seek out Falstaff.-If I do find it, well. [Exit, L. Page. I will not believe such a Cataian, though the priest o'the town commended him for a true man. Ford. (c.) "Twas a good sensible fellow: Well. Page. (c.) How now, master Ford?

Ford. You heard what this knave told me: did you not?

Page. Yes; and you heard what the other told me?
Ford. Do you think there is truth in them?

Page. Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the knight would offer it: but these that accuse him in his intent towards our wives, are a yoke of his discarded men. Ford. Were they his men?

Page. Marry, were they.

Ford. I like it never the better for that.-Does he lie at the Garter?

Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this Voyage towards my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what he gets more of her than sharp words let it lie on my head.

Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loth to turn them together: A man may be too confident: I cannot be thus satisfied. [Crosses to R. Page. Look, where my ranting host of the Garter

comes.

Enter HOST, L.

How now, mine host!

Host. How now, bully-rook? Thou'rt a gentleman : cavalero-justice, I say.

Enter SHALLOW, L.

Shal. (L.) I follow, mine host, I follow.-Good even, and twenty, good Master Page! Master Page, will you go with us? we have sport in hand.

Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice.

Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought, between Sir Hugh, the Welsh priest, and Caius, the French doctor. Ford. Good, mine host o'th' Garter, a word with you.

Host. What say'st thou, bully-rook?

1 [HOST and FORD retire up. Shal. (c.) Will you go with us to behold it? My merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and I think he hath appointed them contrary places: for, believe me, I hear the parson is no jester. Hark, Í will tell you what our sport shall be.

Host. [Up the Stage.] Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavalier?

Ford. [Up the Stage.] None, I protest! but I'll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him, my name is Brook; only for a jest.

Host. My hand, bully: thou shalt have egress and regress; said I well? and thy name shall be Brook: It is a merry knight.-Will you go an-heirs?

[Exit. L.

Shal. [Coming forward.] Have

host.

with you, mine [Crosses to L. Page. I have heard, the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier.

Shal. (c.) Tut, sir, I could have told you more: In these times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and I know not what: 'tis the heart, Master Page; 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, with my long sword, I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats.

Enter HOST, L.

Host. Here, boys, here! shall we wag?

Page. Have with you:--I had rather hear them scold than fight. [Exeunt HOST, SHAL. and PAGE, L. Ford. [Thoughtfully, R. c.] Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so easily: She was in his company at Page's house; and, what they made there, I know not. Well, I will look further into't: and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff: If I find her honest, I lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well bestow'd. [Exit, L.

SCENE II.-The Garter Inn.

Enter FALSTAFF and PISTOL, L. Fal. (L. c.) I will not lend thee a penny. Pist. Why, then the world's mine oyster, Which I with sword will open.

Fal. (c.) Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should lay my countenance to pawn: I have grated upon my good friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow, Nym; or else you had look'd through the grate like a geminy of baboons. I am damn'd for swearing to gentlemen, my friends, you were good soldiers, and tall fellows: and when Mrs. Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took't upon mine honour, thou hadst it not.

Pist. (L. c.) Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fifteen pence?

Fal. Reason, you rogue, reason: Think'st thou I'll endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more about me, am no gibbet for you:-go.-You'll not bear a letter for me, you rogue!--you stand upon your

honour! Why, thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do, to keep the terms of my honour precise. I, I, I myself sometimes, leaving the fear of heaven on the left hand, and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your honour! You will not do it, you? [Sits. Pist. I do relent: What would'st thou more of man?

Enter ROBIN, L.

Rob. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you.

Fal. Let her approach.

[Rises-Exit ROBIN, L.

Hence, rogue, avaunt-go steal, and hang.

[Exit PISTOL, L.

Enter MRS. QUICKLY, L.

Quick. Give your worship good-morrow.
Fal. Good-morrow, good wife.

Quick. Not so, an't please your worship.
Fal. Good maid, then. What with me?

Quick. There is one Mistress Ford, sir;-I pray, come a little nearer this ways:-I myself dwell with Master Doctor Caius.

Fal. Well, on; Mistress Ford, you say-I warrant thee nobody hears-only mine own people: [Aside.] -Well: Mistress Ford ;--what of her?

Quick. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, lord! your worship's a wanton.

Fal. Mistress Ford ;-come, Mistress Ford

Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of it.The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a canary, as you have. Yet there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, and in such alligant terms, that would have won any woman's heart; and, I warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her.

Fal. But what says she to me? Be brief, my good she Mercury.

Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter; for the which she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you to notify, that her husband will be absence from his house between ten and eleven.

Fal. Ten and eleven?

C

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