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Now, at every turn, we meet
April fools! April fools!
In park, in square, and street,
April fools!

Now "pigeon's milk" is sought,
"Useful knowledge" cheaply bought,
Pleasant lessons, too, are taught

April fools! April fools!

Now little boys are made

April fools! April fools!
(By bigger boys betrayed,)
April fools!

Now boys, the world calls "old,"
Deceived by damsels bold,
Find out they are cajoled

April fools! April fools!
Now sportive nymphs beguile,
April fools! April fools!
With gamesome trick and wile,
April fools!

In vain the charming sex
Would their lovers' hearts perplex,
They may cheat, but cannot vex

April fools! April fools!
Now Evans and his crew,

April fools! April fools!
Find fighting will not do,
April fools!

April fools! A-pril fools!

Now Sarsfield, Espartero,
And many a battered hero,
Place Spanish funds at zero,

April fools! April fools!
Now ministers are termed

April fools! April fools!
And their titles are confirmed,
April fools!

Now Whigs astute, kicked out,
Hear the deep derisive shout
Echo wide the land throughout,

April fools! April fools!
Now costermonger scribes-

April fools! April fools !—
Pen their dullest diatribes,
April fools!

In Bentley's Magazine,
Alone, are to be seen
Wits, who scourge with satire keen
April fools! April fools!

Now readers, grave or gay,

April fools! April fools!
We shall terminate our lay,
April fools!

And we trust that you perceive,
We are laughing in our sleeve,
As these idle rhymes we weave,
April fools! April fools!

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OLIVER TWIST;

OR, THE PARISH BOY'S PROgress.

BY BOZ.

ILLUSTRATED BY GEORGE CRUIKSHANK.

CHAPTER THE FIFTH.

OLIVER MINGLES WITH NEW ASSOCIATES, AND, GOING TO A FUNERAL FOR
THE FIRST TIME, FORMS AN UNFAVOURABLE NOTION
OF HIS MASTER'S BUSINESS.

OLIVER, being left to himself in the undertaker's shop, set the lamp down on a workman's bench, and gazed timidly about him with a feeling of awe and dread, which many people a good deal older than Oliver will be at no loss to understand. An unfinished coffin on black tressels, which stood in the middle of the shop,-looked so gloomy and death-like, that a cold tremble came over him every time his eyes wandered in the direction of the dismal object, from which he almost expected to see some frightful form slowly rear its head to drive him mad with terror. Against the wall were ranged in regular array a long row of elm boards cut into the same shape, and looking in the dim light like high-shouldered ghosts with their hands in their breechespockets. Coffin-plates, elm-chips, bright-headed nails, and shreds of black cloth, lay scattered on the floor; and the wall above the counter was ornamented with a lively representation of two mutes in very stiff neckcloths, on duty at a large private door, with a hearse drawn by four black steeds approaching in the distance. The shop was close and hot, and the atmosphere seemed tainted with the smell of coffins. The recess' beneath the counter in which his flock-mattress was thrust, looked like a grave.

Nor were these the only, dismal feelings which depressed Oliver. He was alone in a strange place; and we all know how chilled and desolate the best of us, will sometimes feel in such a situation. The boy had no friends to care for, or to care for him. The regret of no recent separation was fresh in his mind; the absence of no loved and well-remembered face sunk heavily into his heart. But his heart was heavy, notwithstanding; and he wished, as he crept into his narrow bed, that that were his coffin, and that he could be laid in a calm and lasting sleep in the churchyard ground, with the tall grass waving gently above his head, and the sound of the old deep bell to soothe him in his sleep.

Oliver was awakened in the morning by a loud kicking at the outside of the shop-door, which, before he could huddle on his clothes, was repeated in an angry and impetuous manner about

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twenty-five times; and, when he began to undo the chain, the legs left off their volleys, and a voice began.

66

Open the door, will yer ?" cried the voice which belonged to the legs which had kicked at the door.

"I will directly, sir," replied Oliver, undoing the chain, and turning the key.

"I suppose yer the new boy, a'nt yer ?" said the voice, through the key-hole.

"Yes, sir,” replied Oliver.

"How old are yer ?" inquired the voice.

"Eleven, sir,” replied Oliver.

"Then I'll whop yer when I get in," said the voice; "you just see if I don't, that 's all, my work'us brat!" and, having made this obliging promise, the voice began to whistle.

Oliver had been too often subjected to the process to which the very expressive monosyllable just recorded, bears reference, to entertain the smallest doubt that the owner of the voice, whoever he might be, would redeem his pledge most honourably. He drew back the bolts with a trembling hand, and opened the door.

For a second or two, Oliver glanced up the street, and down the street, and over the way, impressed with the belief that the unknown, who had addressed him through the key-hole, had walked a few paces off to warm himself, for nobody did Oliver see but a big charity-boy sitting on the post in front of the house, eating a slice of bread and butter, which he cut into wedges the size of his mouth with a clasp-knife, and then consumed with great dexterity.

"I beg your pardon, sir," said Oliver, at length, seeing that no other visitor made his appearance; "did you knock ?" "I kicked," replied the charity-boy.

"Did you want a coffin, sir ?" inquired Oliver, innocently. At this the charity-boy looked monstrous fierce, and said that Oliver would stand in need of one before long, if he cut jokes with his superiors in that way.

"Yer don't know who I am, I suppose, work'us ?" said the charity-boy, in continuation; descending from the top of the post, meanwhile, with edifying gravity.

"No, sir," rejoined Oliver.

"I'm Mister Noah Claypole," said the charity-boy," and you 're under me. Take down the shutters, yer idle young ruffian!" With this Mr. Claypole administered a kick to Oliver, and entered the shop with a dignified air, which did him great credit: it is difficult for a large-headed, small-eyed youth, of lumbering make and heavy countenance, to look dignified under any circumstances; but it is more especially so, when, superadded to these personal attractions, are a red nose and yellow smalls.

Oliver having taken down the shutters, and broken a pane of

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