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tion of the fair sex attributed her confinement to the true cause, and whispered that Miss Mac Gawly was “as ladies wished to be who love their lords."

Here was a solution to the mystery! It was now pretty easy to comprehend why Biddy was swathed like a mummy, and Roger so ready with his cash. No wonder the demoiselle was anxious to abridge delay, and the old crimp so obliging in procuring a priest and preparing all requisite matters for immediate hymeneals. What was to be done? What, but denounce the frail fair one, and annihilate that villain her father. Without a word of explanation I caught up my hat, and left the house in a hurry, and Mrs. O'Finn in a state of nervousness that threatened to become hysterical.

When I reached the quartermaster's habitation, I hastened to my own apartment, and got my traps together in double-quick. I intended to have abdicated quietly, and favoured the intended Mrs. O'Shaughnessy with an epistle communicating the reasons that induced me to decline the honour of her hand; but on the landing my worthy father-in-law cut off my retreat, and a parting tête-à-tête became unavoidable. He appeared in great spirits at the success of his interview with the parson.

“Well, Terence, I have done the business. The old chap made a parcel of objections ; but he's poor as Lazarus – slily slipped him ten pounds, and that quieted his scruples. He's ready at a moment's warning.”—“He's a useful person," I replied drily; " and all you want is a son-in-law.”

" A what ?" exclaimed the father of Miss Biddy. — “A son-inlaw !"

Why, what the devil do you mean?”—“Not a jot more or less than what I say.

You have procured the priest, but I suspect the bridegroom will not be forthcoming."

“ Zounds, sir ! do you mean to treat my daughter with disrespect?”—“Upon consideration, it would be hardly fair to deprive my old friend Hastings of his pupil. Why, with another week's private tuition Biddy might offer her services to Astley."

“Sir,-if you mean to be impertinent,—” and Roger began to bluster, while the noise brought the footman to the hall, and Miss Biddy to the banisters • shawled to the nose. I began to lose temper.

Why, you infernal old crimp!” –“You audacious young scoundrel !"

“Oh, Jasus! gentlemen! Pace, for the sake of the blessed Mother !" cried the butler from below.

“ Father, jewel! Terence, my only love !” screamed Miss Biddy, over the staircase. “What is the matter ?”—“He wants to be off!" roared the quartermaster.

“ Stop, Terence, or you 'll have my life to answer for.”—“Lord, Biddy, how fat you are grown!"

“ You shall fulfil your promise,” cried Roger, “or I'll write to the Horse Guards, and memorial the commander-in-chief.”—“You may memorial your best friend, the devil, you old crimp !" and I forced my way to the hall.

“Come back, you deceiver !” exclaimed Miss Mac Gawly. – “ Arrah, Biddy, go tighten yourself,” said I,

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Oh, I'm fainting!" screamed Roger's heiress. “Don't let him out!” roared her sire.

The gentleman with the beefsteak collar made a demonstration to interrupt my retreat, and in return received a box on the ear that sent him half-way down the kitchen stairs.

“ There,” I said, “give that to the old rogue, your master, with my best compliments," – and bounding from the hall-door, Biddy Mac Gawly, like Lord Ullin's daughter, “ was left lamenting !"

Well, there is no describing the rookawn* a blow-up like this, occasioned in a country town. I was unmercifully quizzed; but the quartermaster and his heiress found it advisable to abdicate. Roger removed his household gods to the metropolis - Miss Biddy favoured him in due time with a grandson; and when I returned from South America, I learned that “this lost love of mine” had accompanied a Welsh lieutenant to the hymeneal altar, who, not being “over-particular” about trifles, had obtained on the same morning a wife, an heir, and an estate—with Roger's blessing into the bargain.



TO MR. BENTLEY, PUBLISHER. Sir,- I write to you concerning the late P.P. of this parishhis soul to glory! for, as Virgil says,—and devil a doubt of it,

Candidus insuetum miratur limen Olympi,

Sub pedibusque videt nubes et sidera pastor. His RELIQUES, sir, in two volumes, have been sent down here from Dublin, for the use of my boys, by order of the National Education Board, with directions to cram the spalpeens all at once with such a power of knowledge that they may forget the hunger : which plan, between you and me, (though I say it that oughtn't) is all sheer bladderum-skate: for, as Juvenal maintains, jejunus stomachus, &c. &c.—an empty bag won't stand; you must first fill it with praties. Give us a poor-law, sir, and, trust me, you will hear no more about Rock and repeal ; no, nor of the rint, against which latter humbug the man of God set his face outright during his honest and honourable lifetime ; for, sir, though he differed with Mr. Moore about Irish round towers, and a few French roundelays, in this they fully agreed.

As I understand, sir, that you are Publisher in ordinary to his Majesty, I intend from time to time conveying through you to the ear of royalty some desiderata curiosa Hyberniæ from the

pen of the deceased; matters which remain penès me, in scriniis, to use the style of your great namesake. For the present, I merely send you a few classic scraps collected by Dr. Prout in some convent abroad ; and, wishing every success to your Miscellany, am your humble servant,

R. O'D. Anglicè, confusion.

SCRAP, No. I. Water-grass-hill. THERE flourishes, I hear, in London, a Mr. HUDSON, whose reputation as a comic lyrist, it would seem, has firmly taken root in the great metropolis. Many are the laughter-compelling productions of his merry genius; but “Barney Brallaghan's Courtshipmay be termed his opus magnum. It has been my lot to pick a few dry leaves from the laurel-wreath of Mr. Moore, who could well afford the loss : I know not whether I can meddle rightly after a similar fashion with Hudson's bay. Yet is there a strange coincidence of thought and expression, and even metre, between the following remnant of antiquity, and his never-sufficiently-to-be-encored song.

The original may be seen at Bobbio in the Apennines,-a Benedictine settlement, well known as the earliest asylum opened to learning after the fall of the Roman Empire. The Irish monk Colombanus had the merit of founding it, and it long remained tenanted by natives of Ireland.

natives of Ireland. Among them it has been ascertained that Dante lived for some time, and composed Latin verses ; but I cannot recognise any trace of his stern phraseology in the ballad. It appears rather the production of some rustic of the Augustan age; perhaps one of Horace's ploughmen. It is addressed to a certain Julia Callapygé, (Karrimum,) a name which (for shortness I suppose) the rural poet contracts into Julia “CALLAGE'.” I have diligently compared it with the vulgate version, as sung by Fitzwilliam at the Freemasons' Tavern; and little doubt can remain of its identity and authenticity.

P. P.


1. Erat turbida nox

'Twas on a windy night, Horâ secundâ mané

At two o'clock in the morning,
Quando proruit vox

An Irish lad so tight,
Carmen in hoc inané; All wind and weather scorning,
Viri misera mens

At Judy Callaghan's door,
Meditabatur hymen,

Sitting upon the palings, Hinc puellæ flens

His love-tale he did pour, Stabat obsidens limen; And this was part of his wailings :Semel tantum dic

Only say Eris nostra LALAGE';

You'll be Mrs. Brallaghan ;
Ne recuses sic,

Don't say nay,
Dulcis Julia CALLAGE'. Charming Judy Callaghan.


Planctibus aurem fer,

Venere tu formosior; Dic, hos muros per,

Tuo favore potior !

Oh ! list to what I say,

Charms you 've got like Venus ; Own your love you may,

There's but the wall between us.


Voce beatum fac;

You lie fast asleep,
En, dum dormis, vigilo, Snug in bed and snoring;
Nocte obambulans hâc Round the house I creep,

Domum planctu stridulo. Your hard heart imploring.
Semel tantum dic

Only say
Eris nostra LALAGE';

You 't have Mr. Brallaghan ;
Ne recuses sic,

Don't say nay,
Dulcis Julia CALLAGE'. Charming Judy.Callaghan,

3. Est mihi prægnans sus,

I've got a pig and a sow,
Et porcellis stabulum ; I've got a sty to sleep 'em ;
Villula, grex, et rus?

A calf and a brindled cow,
Ad vaccarum pabulum; And a cabin too, to keep 'em ;
Feriis cerneres me

Sunday hat and coat,
Splendido vestimento, An old grey mare to ride on;
Tunc, heus ! quàm benè te Saddle and bridle to boot,
Veherem in jumento! Which

you may ride astride on. Semel tantum dic

Only say Eris nostra LALAGE';

You be Mrs. Brallaghan;
Ne recuses sic,

Don't say nay,
Dulcis Julia CALLAGE'. Charming Judy Callaghan.

Vis poma terræ? sum I've got an acre of ground,
Uno dives jugere;

I've got it set with praties; Vis lac et mella,3 cùm I've got of 'baccy a pound,

Bacchi succo, sugere ? I've got some tea for the ladies ; Vis aquæ-vitæ vim ? I've got the ring to wed,

Plumoso somnum sacculo ?6 Some whisky to make us gaily; Vis ut paratus sim

I've got a feather-bed Vel annulo vel baculo ?7 And a handsome new shilelagh. Semel tantum dic

Only say Eris nostra LALAGE';

You'ủ hare Mr. Brallaghan ;
Ne recuses sic,

Don't say nay,
Dulcis Julia CALLAGE'. Charming Judy Callaghan.



NOTUL. 1. 1 in roce rus. Nonne potiùs legendum jus, scilicet, ad raccarum pabulum! De hoc jure apud Sabinos agricolas consule Scriptores de re rustica passim. Ita Bentleiui.

Jus imo antiquissimuin, at displicet vox qui voca ; jus etenim a mess of pottage aliquando audit, ei. T. Omne suum fratri Jacob jas vendidit Esau,

Et Jacob fratri jus dedit omne suum. Itaque, pace Bentleii, stet lectio prior.-Prout.

NOTUL.9. Vcderera in jumento. Curriculo-ne? an ponè sedentem in equi dorso ? dorsaliter plane. Quid en.d dicit Horatius de uxore sic vectà? Nonne Pont equitem sedet atra cura" - Porson.

Lace mella. Metaphoricè pro tea : muliebris
est compotatio Gracis non ignota, teste Ana.

ΘΕΗΝ, Θεαν θεαινην,
θελω λιγειν εταιρει, κ.τ.λ.


NOTUL. 4. Bacchi succo. Duplex apud poetas antiquiorer habebatur hujusce nominis numen.

Vineam re. gebat prius; posterius cuidam herba exotica praerat qure tobacco audit, Succus utrique optimus.-Coleridge.

Aqua-rite vim, Anglo-Hybernicé, "a power
of whisky," 15%us, scilicet, vox pergraca.

NortL. 6.
Plumoso sacco.

Plumarum congeries certè all somnos invitandos satis apta; at mihi per multos annos laneus iste saccus, Ang. woolsack, fuit apprimè ad dormiendum idoneus. Lites etiam de land ut aiunt caprind, soporiferas per annos xxx. exercui. Quot et quam prieclara somnia! Eldon.

Investitura “per annulum et baculum satis
nota. Vide P. Þarca de Concord. Sacerdotii et
Imperii : et Hildebrandi Pont. Max. bullarium.

Baculo certé dignissim pontif.-Magian.


Litteris operam das ;

Lucido fulges oculo; Dotes insuper quas

Nummi sunt in loculo. Novi quod apta sise

Ad procreandam sobolem ! Possides (nesciat quis ?)

Linguam satis nobilem.9

Semel tantum dic
Eris nostra Lalage';

Ne recuses sic,
Dulcis Julia Callage'.

You've got a charming eye,

You ’ve got some spelling and reading ;
You've got, and so have I,

A taste for genteel breeding;
You're rich, and fair, and young,

As everybody's knowing ;
You've got a decent tongue

Whene'er 'tis set a-going.

Only say
You'll have Mr. Brallaghan ;

Don't say nay,
Charming Judy Callaghan.

For a wife till death

I am willing to take ye;
But, och! I waste my breath,

The devil himself can't wake ye.
'Tis just beginning to rain,

So I'll get under cover;
To-morrow I'll come again,

And be your constant lover.

Only say
You 'ü be Mrs. Brallaghan;

sau au,
Charming Judy Callaghan.


Conjux utinam tu

Fieres, lepidum cor, mi! Halitum perdimus, heu,

Te sopor urget. Dormi! Ingruit imber trux

Jam sub tecto pellitur Is quem crastina lux 10

Referet huc fideliter.

Semel tantum dic
Eris nostra LALAGE';

Ne recuses sic,
Dulcis Julia CALLAGE',


Apta ris. Quomodo noverit ? Vide Proverb.
Solomonis cap. xxx. v. 19. Nisi forsan tales fu.
erint puellæ Sabinorum quales impudens iste
balatro Connelius mentitur esse nostrates.

Linguam mobilem. Prius enumerat future con.
jugis bona immobilia, postea transit ad mobilia,

Anglice, chattel property, Præclarus ordo senten.
tiarum Car. Wetherall,

NOTUL. 10.
Allusio ad distichon Maronianum,
“Nocte pluit totà, redeunt spectacula mand."
x. 1.2.


Our Water-grass-hill correspondent will find scattered throughout our pages the other fragments of the defunct Padre which he has placed at our disposal. Every chip from so brilliant an old block may be said to possess a lustre peculiarly its own ; hence we have not feared to disperse them up and down our miscellany. They are “gems of the purest whiskey."-Edit.

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