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fpecies, one could not devise a more proper hell for an impure fpirit than that which Plato has touched upon.


The ancients feem to have drawn fuch a state of torments in the defcription of Tantalus, who was punished with the rage of an eternal thirst, and fet up to the chin in water, that fled from his Tips whenever he attempted to drink it.

"And now, Pontignan, fays fhe, we in "tend to perform the promise that we find you "have extorted from each of us. You have often "afked the favour of us, and I dare fay you are a "better bred cavalier than to refufe to go to bed "to two ladies, that defire it of you."" After "having stood a fit of laughter, I begged them to "uncafe me, and do with me what they pleased "No, no, faid they, we like you very well as you "are; and upon that ordered me to be carried to one of their houfes, and put to bed in all my

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Virgil, who has caft the whole fyftem of Plato nic philofophy, fo far as it relates to the foul of man, into beautiful allegories, in the fixth book of his Æneid gives us the punishment of a volup-"fwaddles. The room was lighted up on all tuary after death, not unlike that which we are here speaking of.

“Lucent genialibus altis

"Aurea fulcra toris, epulæque ante ora paratæ
"Regifico luxu: Furiarum maxima juxta
"Accubat, & manibus prohibet contingere men-


"Exurgitque facem attollens, atque intonat ore.
En. 6. v. 604.
"They lie below on golden beds display'd,
"And genial feasts with regal pomp are made:
"The queen of furies by their fide is fet,
"And fnatches from their mouths th' untafted

Which if they touch, her hifing fnakes the
66 rears,

"Toming her torch, and thund'ring in their ears." DRYDEN.

"fides; and I was laid very decently between a 66 pair of fheets, with my head, which was in"deed the only part I could move, upon a very "high pillow: this was no fooner done, but my "two female friends came into bed to me in their "finest night-clothes. You may eafily guess at "the condition of a man that faw a couple of the "most beautiful women in the world undressed "and in bed with him, without being able to stir "hand or foot. I begged them to releafe me, " and struggled all I could to get loofe, which I "did with fo much violence, that about midnight "they both leaped out of the bed, crying out "they were undone. But feeing me fafe, they "took their posts again, and renewed their rail "tery. Finding all my prayers and endeavours "were loft, I compofed myself as well as I could; " and told them, that if they would not unbind 66 me, I would fall asleep between them, and by "that means difgrace them for ever: but alas! "this was impoffible; could I have been difpofed

That I may a little alleviate the feverity of this my fpeculation, which otherwise may lofe me feveral of my polite readers, I shall tranflate a story to it, they would have prevented me by fevethat has been quoted upon another occasion by "ral little ill-natured careffes and endearments one of the most learned men of the prefent age, "which they bestowed upon me. As much deas I find it in the original, The reader will fee it "voted as I am to woman-kind, I would not pafs is not foreign to my present subject, and I dare" fuch another night to be master of the whole fay will think it a lively reprefentation of a per- "fex. My reader will doubtlefs be curious to fon lying under the torments of fuch a kind of "know what became of me the next morning: antalifm, or Platonic hell, as that which we "why truly my bed-fellows left me about an have now under confideration. Monfieur Pontig-" hour before day, and told me, if I would be nan speaking of a love-adventure that happened to him in the country, gives the following account of it.

"good and lie ftill, they would fend fomebody to "take me up as foon as it was time for me to "rife: accordingly about nine of the clock in the "morning an old woman came to unfwathe me. "I bore all this very impatiently, being refolved

to take my revenge of my tormentors, and to "keep no measures with them as foon as I was at "liberty; but upon asking my old woman what 66 was become of the two ladies, fhe told me the "believed they were by that time within fight of "Paris, for that they went away in a coach and "fix before five of the clock in the morning."

No 91.
In furias


THURSDAY, JUNE 14. ignemque raunt, amor omnibus idem. VIRG. Georg. 3. v. 244.

"When I was in the country faft fummer, I "was often in company with a couple of charming women, who had all the wit and beauty "onc could defire in female companions, with a dafh of coquetry, that from time to time gave me a great many agreeable torments. I was, after my way, in love with both of them, and had fuch frequent opportunities of pleading my "paffion to them when they were afunder, that "I had reason to hope for particular favours from each of them. As I was walking one " evening in my chamber with nothing about me but my night-gown, they both came into my room and told me, they had a very pleafant trick to put upon a gentleman that was in the fame houfe, provided I would bear a part in it, "Upon this they told me fuch a plaufible flory, that I laughed at their contrivance, and agreed For love is lord of all, and is in all the fame. to do whatever they should require of me. They "immediately began to fwaddle me up in my "night-gown with long pieces of linen, which "they folded about me until they had wrapt me in above an hundred yards of fwathe: my arms "were preffed to my fides, and my legs clofed together by fo many wrappers one over ano"ther, that I looked like an Egyptian mummy. "As I ftood bolt upright upon one end in this antique figure, one of the ladies burit out a laugh


-They tush into the flame;

HOUGH the fubject I am now going upon


would be much more properly the foundation of a comedy, I cannot forbear inserting the circumftances which pleased me in the account a young lady gave me of the loves of a family in town, which fhall be nameiefs; or rather for the better found and elevation of the hiftory, instead of Mr. and Mrs. fuch-a-one, I fhall call them by feigned names. Without further preface, you are



pretender to Flavia, were purposely admitted to-
gether by the ladies, that each might fhew the
other that her lover had the fuperiority in the ac-
complishments of that fort of creature whom the
fillier part of women call a fine gentleman. As
this age has a much more grofs tafte in court-
fhip, as well as in every thing else, than the laft
had, thefe gentlemen are inftances of it in their
different manner of application. Tulip is ever
making allusions to the vigour of his perfon, the
finewy force of his make; while Craftin profeffes
a wary obfervation of the turns of his mistress's
mind. Tulip gives himself the air of a refiftlefs
ravisher, Craftin practifes that of a skilful lover.
Poetry is the infeparable property of every man
in love; and as men of wit write verses on those
occafions, the rest of the world repeat the verses
of others. These fervants of the ladies were used
to imitate their manner of conversation, and al-
lude to one another, rather than interchange dif
courfe in what they faid when they met. Tulip
the other day seized his mistress's hand, and re-
peated out of Ovid's Art of Love,
""Tis I can in foft battles pafs the night,
"Fresh as the day, and active as the light.”
"Yet rife next morning vigorous for the fight,

to know, that within the liberties of the city of Westminster lives the lady Honoria, a widow about the age of forty, of a healthy conftitution, gay temper, and elegant perfon. She dreffes a little too much like a girl, affects a childish fondnefs in the tone of her voice, fometimes a pretty fullenness in the leaning of her head, and now and then a down-cast of her eyes on her fan: neither her imagination nor her health would ever give her to know, that he is turned of twenty; but that in the midst of these pretty foftneffes, and airs of delicacy and attraction, fhe has a tall daughter within a fortnight of fifteen, who impertinently comes into the room, and towers fo much towards woman, that her mother is always checked by her prefence, and every charm of Honoria droops at the entrance of Flavia. The agreeable Flavia would be what fhe is not, as well as her mother Honoria; but all their beholders are more partial to an affectation of what a perfon is growing up to, than of what has been already enjoyed, and is gone for ever. It is therefore allowed to Flavia to look forward, but not to Honoria to look back. Flavia is no way dependent on her mother with relation to her fortune, for which reafon they live almost upon an equality in converfation; and as Honoria has given Flavia to understand, that it is ill-bred to be always calling mother, Flavia is as well pleafed never to be called child. It happens by this means, that thefe ladies are generally rivals in all places where they appear; and the words mother and daughter never pass between them but out of fpite. Flavia one night at a play, obferving Honoria draw the eyes of feveral in the pit, called to a lady who fat by her, and bid her ask her mother to lend her her fnuff-box for one moment. Another time, when a lover of Honoria was on his knees befeeching the favour to kifs her hand, Flavia rufhing into the room, kneeled down by him and afked bleffing. Several of these contradictory acts of duty have raised between them fuch a coldness, that they generally converse when they are in mixed company by way of talking at one another and not to one another. Honoria is ever complaining of a certain fufficiency in the young women of this age, who affume to themselves an authority of carrying all things before them, as if they were poffeffors of the esteem of mankind, and all, who were but a year before them in the world, were neglected or deceased. Flavia, upon fuch a provocation, is fure to obferve, that there are people who can refign nothing and know not how to give up what they know they cannot hold; that there are those who will not allow youth their follies, not because they are themselves paft them, but because they love to continue in them. Thefe Beauties rival each other on all occafions, not that they have always had the fame lovers, but each has kept up a vanity to fhew the other the charms of her lover. Dick Craftin and Tom Tulip, among many others, have of late been pretenders in this family: Dick to Honoria, Tom to Flavia. Dick is the only furviving beau of the last age, and Tom almost the only one that keeps up that order of men in this.

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I wish I could repeat the little circumstances of a converfation of the four lovers with the fpirit in which the young lady, I had my account from, reprefented it at a vifit where I had the hon our to be prefent; but it seems Dick Craftir, the admirer of Honoria, and Tom Tulip, the

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When Craftin had uttered thefe verfes with a tendernefs which at once spoke paffion. and refpect, Honoria caft a triumphant glance at Flavia, as exulting in the elegance of Craftin's courtfhip, and upbraiding her with the homeliness of Tulip's. Tulip understood the reproach, and in return began to applaud the wifdem of old amo rous gentlemen, who turned their mistress's ima÷ gination as far as poffible from what they had long themselves forgot, and ended his difcourfe with a fly commendation of the doctrine of pla tonic Love; at the fame time he ran over, with a laughing eye, Craftin's thin legs, meagre locks, and fpare body. The old gentleman immediately left the room with fome diforder, and the converfation fell upon untimely paffion, after love, and unfeasonable youth. Tulip fung, danced, mov ed before the glafs; led his mistress half a minuet, hummed

"Celia-the fair, in the bloom of fifteen;" when there came a fervant with a letter to him, which was as follows:

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Tulip's colour changed at the reading of this epiftle; for which reafon his mistress fnatched it to read the contents. While fhe was doing fo, Tulip went away, and the ladies now agreeing in a common calamity, bewailed together the dangers of their lovers. They immediately undreffed to go out, and took hackneys to prevent mifchief: but, after alarming all parts of the town, Craftin was found by his widow in his pumps at Hide-Park, which appointment Tulip never kept, but made his efcape into the country. Flavia tears her hair for his inglorious fafety, curfes and defpifes her charmer, is fallen in love with Craftin: which is the first part of the hiftory of the Rival Mother.

No 92. FRIDAY, JUNE 15.

commends to me Mr. Mede upon the Revelations. A fourth lays it down as an unquestionable truth, that a lady cannot be thoroughly accomplished who has not read The fecret Treaties and Negociations of Marshal D'Eftrades. Mr. Jacob Tonson, jun. is of opinion, that Bayle's Dictionary might be of very great ufe to the ladies, in order to make them general scholars. Another, whofe name I have forgotten, thinks it highly proper that every woman with child fhould read Mr. Wall's Hiftory of Infant Baptifm; as another is very importunate with me to recommend to all my female readers The finishing Stroke; being a Vindication of the Patriarchal Scheme, &c.

In the fecond clafs I fhall mention books which are recommended by husbands, if I may believe the writers of them. Whether or no they are real husbands or perfonated ones I cannot tell, but the books they recommend are as follow. A Paraphrafe on the History of Sufannah. Rules to keep Lent. The Chriftian's. Overthrow prez HOR. Ep. 2. 1. 2. v. 61. vented. A Diffuafiye from the Play-house. The IMITATED.

-Conviva propè diffentire videntur, Pofcentes vario multùm diverfa palato; Quid dem? Quid non dem ?

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OUR paper is a part of my tea-equipage; and my fervant knows my humour fo well, that calling for my breakfast this morning, it being past my ufual hour, she anfwered, the Spectator was not yet come in; but that the tea kettle boiled, and the expected it every moment. Having thus in part fignified to you the esteem and veneration which I have for you, • I must now put you in mind of the catalogue of books which you have promised to recommend <to our fex; for I have deferred furnishing my clofet with authors, until I receive your advice in this particular, being your daily difciple and humble fervant,


In answer to my fair difciple, whom I am very proud of, I must acquaint her and the reft of my readers, that fince I have called out for help in my catalogue of a lady's library, I have received many letters upon that head, fome of which I fhall give an account of.

In the first clafs 1 fhall take notice of thofe which come to me from eminent bookfellers, who every one of them mention with refpect the authors they have printed, and confequently have an eye to their own advantage more than to that of the ladies. One tells me, that he thinks it abfolutely neceffary for women to have true notions of right and equity, and that therefore they cannot perufe a better book than Dalton's Country Juftice: another thinks they cannot be without The Complete Jockey. A third obferving the curifity and defire of prying into fecrets, which he tells me is natural to the fair fex, is of opinion this female inclination, if well directed, might turn very much to their advantage, and therefore re

Virtues of Camphire, with Directions to make Camphire Tea. The pleasures of a country life, The Government of the Tongue. A letter dated from Cheapfide defires me that I would advise all young wives to make themfelves miftreffes of Wingate's Arithmetic, and concludes with a postscript, that he hopes I will not forget The Countess of Kent's Receipts.

clafs among these my correfpondent and privyI may reckon the ladies themselves as a third counsellors. In a letter from one of them, I am advised to place Pharamond at the head of my catalogue, and, if I think proper, to give the fecond place to Caffandra. Coquetilla begs me not to think of nailing women upon their knees with manuals of devotion, nor of fcorching their faces with books of housewifery. Florella defires to know if there are anybooks written against prudes; and intreats me, if there are, to give them a place in my library. Plays of all forts have their feveral advocates. All for Love is mentioned in above fifteen letters; Sophonisba, or Hannibal's Overthrow, in a dozen; the Innocent Adultery is likewife highly approved of: Mithridates King of Pontus has many friends; Alexander the Great and Aurengzebe have the fame num ber of voices; but Theodofius, or the Force of Love, carries it from all the reft.

I should, in the last place, mention fuch books as have been propofed by men of learning, and thofe who appear competent judges of this matter, and must here take occafion to thank A. B. whoever it is that conceals himfelf under thofe two letters, for his advice upon this subject : but as I find the work I have undertaken, to be very difficult, I fhall defer the executing of it until I am further acquainted with the thoughts of my judicious contemporaries, and have time to examine the feveral books they offer to me; being refolved, in an affair of this moment, to proceed with the greatest caution.

In the mean while, as I have taken the ladies under my particular care, I fhall make it my bufinefs to find out in the best authors, ancient and modern, fuch paffages as may be for their ufe, and endeavour to accommodate them as well as I can to their tafte; not questioning but the valuable part of the fex will eafily pardon me, if from time to time I laugh at thofe little vanities and follies which appear in the behaviour of


fome of them, and which are more proper for ridicule than a ferious cenfure. Moft books being calculated for male readers, and generally written with an eye to men of learning, makes a work of this nature the more neceffary; befides I am the more encouraged, becaufe I flatter my felf that I fee the fex daily improving by these my fpeculations. My fair readers are already deeper fcholars than the beaux; I could name fome of them who talk much better than feveral gentlemen that make a figure at Will's; and as I frequently receive letters from the fine Ladies and pretty Fellows, I cannot but observe that the former are fuperior to the others, not only in the fenfe but the fpelling. This cannot but have a good effect upon the female world, and keep them from being charmed by thofe empty coxcombs that have hitherto been admired among the women, though laughed at among the men.

I am credibly informed that Tom Tattle paffes for an impertinent fellow, that Will Trippet begins to be fmoked, and that Frank Smoothly himfelf is within a month of a coxcomb, in cafe I think fit to continue this paper. For my part, as it is my business in fome measure to detect fuch as would lead aftray weak minds by their falfe pretences to wit and judgment, humour and gallantry, I fhall not fail to lend the beft lights I am able to the fair fex for the continuation of thefe their discoveries. L

-Spatio brevi

Spem longam referes: dum loquimur, fugerit invida
Atas: carpe diem, quàm minimum credula poftero..
HOR, Od. II. I. I. v. 6.,

Be wife, cut off long cares
From thy contracted fpan.
E'en whilft we fpeak the envious time
Doth make fwift hafte away
Then feize the prefent, ufe thy prime,
Nor trust another day.



contented to lose three years in his life, could he place things in the pofture which he fancies they will stand in after fuch a revolution of time. The lover would be glad to ftrike out of his existence all the moments that are to pass away before the happy meeting. Thus, as faft as our t'me runs, we should be very glad in most parts of our lives that it ran much fafter than it does. Several hours of the day hang upon our hands, nay we with away whole years; and travel through time as through a country filled with many wild and empty wastes, which we would fain hurry over, that we may arrive at thofe feveral little fettlements or imaginary points of reft which are dif perfed up and down in it.

E all of us complain of the shortnefs of time, faith Seneca, and yet have much more than we know what to do with. Our lives, fays he, are spent either in doing nothing at all, or in doing nothing to the purpose, or in doing nothing that we ought to do: we are always complaining our days are few, and acting as though there would be no end of them. That noble phi lofopher has defcribed our inconfiftency with our felves in this particular, by all thofe various turns of expreffion and thought which are peculiar to his writings.

If we divide the life of moft men into twenty parts, we fhall find that at least nineteen of them are mere gaps and chafms, which are neither filled with pleasure nor bufinefs. I do not however in clude in this calculation the life of those men who are in a perpetual hurry of affairs, but of thofe only who are not always engaged in fcenes of action; and I hope I fhall not do an unacceptable piece of fervice to thefe perfons if I point out to them certain methods for the filling up their empty spaces of life. The methods I shall propose to them are as follow.

I often confider mankind as wholly inconfiftent with itself in a point that bears fome affinity to the former. Though we seem grieved at the fhort nefs of life in general, we are wishing every period of it at an end. The minor longs to be at age, then to be a man of bufinefs, then to make up an eftate, then to arrive at honours, then to retire. Thus although the whole of life is allowed by every one to be hort, the feveral divifions of it appear long and tedious. We are for lengthening our fpan in general, but would fain contract the parts of which it was compofed. The ulurer would be very well fatisfied to have all the time, annihilated that lies between the prefent moment and next quarter-day. The politician would be

The first is the exercise of virtue, in the most ge neral acceptation of the word. That particular scheme which comprehends the focial virtues, may give employment to the most induftrious temper, and find a man in business more than the most active station of life. To advise the ignorant, relieve the needy, comfort the afflicted, are duties that fall in our way almost every day of our lives. A man has frequent opportunities of mitigating the fiercenefs of a party; of doing juftice to the character of a deferving man; of foftening the en. vious, quieting the angry, and rectifying the pre judiced; which are all of them employments fuited to a reasonable nature, and bring great fa-1 tisfaction to the perfon who can busy himself in them with difcretion.

There is another kind of virtue that may find employment for thofe retired hours in which wei are altogether left to ourselves, and deftitute of company and converfation; I mean that inter courfe and communication which every reafonable creature ought to maintain with the great Author of his being. The man who lives under ant habitual fenfe of the divine prefence keeps up a perpetual chearfulness of temper, and enjoys every moment the fatisfaction of thinking him. felf in company with his dearest and beft of friends. The time never lies heavy upon him; it is impoffible for him to be alone. His thoughts and paffions are the most bufied at fuch hours when thofe of other men are the most inactive; he no fooner fteps out of the world but his heart burns with devotion, swells with hope, and triumphs in the consciousness of that prefence which every where surrounds him; or, on the contrary, pours out its fears, its forrows, its apprehenfions, to the great fupporter of its exiftence.

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I have here only confidered the neceflity of a man's being virtuous, that he may have fomething to do; but if we confider further, that the exercife of virtue is not only an amufement for the time it lafts, but that its influence extends to thofe parts of our exiftence which lie beyond the grave, and that our whole Eternity is to take its colour from thofe hours, which we here employ in virtue or in vice, the argument redoubles upon


us, for putting in practice this method of paffing away our time.

When a man has but a little ftock to improve, and has opportunities of turning it all to good account, what thall we think of him if he fuffers nineteen parts of it to lie dead, and perhaps employs even the twentieth to his ruin or difadvan

tage? But because the mind cannot be always in its fervors, nor flrained up to a pitch of virtue, it is neceffary to find out proper employments for it in its relaxations.

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The next method therefore that I would propofe to fill up our time, should be useful and innocent diverfions. I must confefs I think it is below reasonable creatures to be altogether converfant in fuch diverfions as are merely innocent, and have nothing else to recommend them, but that there is no hurt in them. Whether any kind of gaming has even thus much to fay for it felf, I shall not determine; but I think it is very wonderful to fee perfons of the best fenfe paffing away a dozen hours together in fhuffling and dividing a pack of cards, with no other converfation but what is made up of a few game phrafes, and no other ideas but those of black or red spots ranged together in different figures. Would not a man laugh to hear any one of this fpecies complaining that life is fhort?

The stage might be made a perpetual fource of the most noble and useful entertainments, were it under proper regulations.

But the mind never unbends itfelf so agreeably as in the converfation of a well-chofen friend. There is indeed no bleffing of life that is any way comparable to the enjoyment of a difcreet and virtuous friend. It eafes and unloads the mind, clears and improves the understanding, engenders thoughts and knowledge, animates virtue and good refolution, fooths and allays the paffions, and finds employment for most of the vacant hours of life.

Next to fuch an intimacy with a particular perfon, one would endeavour after a more general converfation with fuch as are able to entertain and improve those with whom they converfe, which are qualifications that feldom go asunder.

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fpaces of life which are fo tedious and burden-. fome to idle people, is the employing ourselves in the purfuit of knowledge. I remember Mr. Boyle, fpeaking of a certain mineral, tells us, that a man may confume his whole life in the ftudy of it, without arriving at the knowledge of all its qualities. The truth of it is, there is not a fingle fcience, or any branch of it, that might not furnish a man with bufinefs for life, though it were much longer than it is.

I fhall not here engage on thofe beaten fubjects of the usefulness of knowledge, nor of the pleasure. and perfection it gives the mind, nor on the me¬ thods of attaining it, nor recommend any parti cular branch of it, all which have been the topics of many other writers; but fhall indulge myself in a fpeculation that is more uncommon, and may therefore perhaps be more entertaining.

I have before fhewn how the unemployed parts of life appear long and tedious, and fhall here endeavour to fhew how those parts of life which are exercised in study, reading, and the pursuits of knowledge, are long but not tedious, and by that means discover a method of lengthening our lives, and at the fame time of turning all the parts of them to our advantage.

Mr. Locke obferves, "That we get the idea " of time, or duration, by reflecting on that "train of ideas which fucceed one another in "our minds: That for this reafon when we "fleep foundly without dreaming, we have no "perception of time, or the length of it, whilst

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we fleep; and that the moment wherein we "leave off to think, until that moment we be

gin to think again, feems to have no distance." There are many other useful amufements of To which the author adds, " and fo I doubt not life, which one would endeavour to multiply, that "but it would be to a waking man, if it were one might on all occafions have recourfe to "poffible for him to keep only one idea in his fomething rather than fuffer the mind to lie idle," mind, without variation, and the fucceffion of or run adrift with any paffion that chances to rife in it.

A man that has a tafte in mufic, painting, or architecture, is like one that has another fenfe when compared with fuch as have no relish of thofe arty. The florift, the planter, the gardener, the husbandman, when they are only as accomplishments to the man of fortune, are great reliefs to a country life, and many ways useful to those who are poffeffed of them.

But of all the diversions of life, there is none fo proper to fill up its empty fpaces, as the reading of ufeful and entertaining authors. But this I fall only touch upon, because it in fome meafare interferes with the third method, which I fhall propofe in another paper, for the employ ment of our dead unactive bodies, and which I fhall only mention in general to be the pursuit of knowledge.

"others; and we fee, that one who fixes his "thoughts very intently on one thing, fo as to "take but little notice of the fucceffion of ideas "that pafs in his mind whilft he is taken up "with that earnest contemplation, lets flip out "of his account a good part of that duration, " and thinks that time shorter than it is."

We might carry this thought further, and confider a man as, on one fide, fhortening his time by thinking on nothing, or but a few things; fo, on the other, as lengthening it, by employing his thoughts on many fubjects, or by entertaining a quick and conflant fucceffion of ideas. Accord ingly Monfieur Mallebranche, in his Inquiry after Truth, which was published feveral years before Mr. Locke's Effay on Human Understanding, tells us, that it is poffible fome creatures may think half an hour as long as we do a thousand years; or look upon that space of duration which we call a minute, as an hour, a week, a month, or a whole age,

This notion of Monfieur Mallebranche, is ca pable of fome little explanation from what I

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