1712. No. 538. I then considered the Manner in which this Story had Monday, been received, and the Possibility that it might have Nov. 17, passed for a Jest upon others, if he had not laboured against himself. From hence, thought I, there are two Ways which the well-bred World generally takes to correct such a Practice, when they do not think fit to contradict it flatly, The first of these is a general Silence, which I would not advise any one to interpret in his own Behalf. It is often the Effect of Prudence in avoiding a Quarrel, when they see another drive so fast, that there is no stopping him without being run against, and but very seldom the Effect of Weakness in believing suddenly, The Generality of Mankind are not so grosly ignorant as some overbearing Spirits would perswade themselves; and if the Authority of a Character or a Caution against Danger make us suppress our Opinions, yet neither of these are of Force enough to suppress our Thoughts of them. If a Man who has endeavoured to amuse his Company with Improbabilities could but look into their Minds, he would find that they imagine he lightly esteems of their Sense when he thinks to impose upon them, and that he is less esteemed by them for his Attempt in doing so. His Endeavour to glory at their Expence becomes a Ground of Quarrel, and the Scorn and Indifference with which they entertain it begins the immediate Punish ment: And indeed (if we should even go no further) Silence, or a negligent Indifference has a deeper Way of Wounding than Opposition; because Opposition proceeds from an Anger that has a sort of generous Sentiment for the Adversary mingling along with it, while it shews that there is some Esteem in your Mind for him; in short, that you think him worth while to contest with: But Silence, or a negligent Indifference, proceeds from Anger, mixed with a Scorn that shews another he is thought by you too contemptible to be regarded. The other Method which the World has taken for correcting this Practice of false Surprize, is to over-shoot such Talkers in their own Bow, or to raise the Story with further Degrees of Impossibility, and set up for a Voucher to them in such a Manner as must let them see 1712. see they stand detected. Thus I have heard a Discourse No. 538. was once managed upon the Effects of Fear. One of Monday, the Company had given an Account how it had turned Nov. 17, his Friend's Hair grey in a Night, while the Terrors of a Shipwreck encompassed him. Another taking the Hint from hence, began, upon his own Knowledge, to enlarge his Instances of the like Nature to such a Number, that it was not probable he could ever have met with them; and as he still grounded these upon different Causes, for the sake of the Variety, it might seem at last, from his Share of the Conversation, almost impossible that any one who can feel the Passion of Fear should all his Life escape so common an Effect of it. By this Time some of the Company grew negligent, or desirous to contradict him: But one rebuked the rest with an Appearance of Severity, and, with the known old Story in his Head, assured them they need not scruple to believe that the Fear of any thing can make a Man's Hair grey, since he knew one whose Perriwig had suffered so by it. Thus he stopped the Talk, and made them easie, Thus is the same Method taken to bring us to Shame which we fondly take to encrease our Character, It is indeed a kind of Mimickry by which another puts on our Air of Conversation to show us to our selves: He seems to look ridiculous before you, that you may remember how near a Resemblance you bear to him, or that you may know he will not lie under the Imputation of believing you. Then it is that you are struck dumb immediately with a conscientious Shame for what you have been saying: Then it is that you are inwardly griev'd at the Sentiments which you cannot but perceive others entertain concerning you. In short, you are against your self; the Laugh of the Company runs against you; the censuring World is obliged to you for that Triumph which you have allowed them at your own Expence; and Truth, which you have injured, has a near Way of being revenged on you, when by the bare Repetition of your Story you become a frequent Diver sion for the Publick. IV. 'Mr. No. 538, 'Mr. SPECTATOR, The other Day, walking in Pancras Church-yard, I thought of your Paper wherein you mention Epitaphs, and am of Opinion this has a Thought in it worth being communicated to your Readers, Here Innocence and Beauty lies, whose Breath No. 539, Heteroclyta sunto, I am, Sir, Your Servant,' Tuesday, November 18. I 'Mr. SPECTATOR, AM a young Widow of a good Fortune and Family, and just come to Town; where I find I have Clusters of pretty Fellows come already to visit me, some dying with Hopes, others with Fears, tho' they never saw me. Now what I would beg of you, would be to know whether I may venture to use these pert Fellows with the same Freedom as I did my Country Acquaintance, I desire your Leave to use them as to me shall seem meet, without Imputation of a Jilt; for since I make Declaration that not one of them shall have me, I think I ought to be allowed the Liberty of insulting those who have the Vanity to believe it is in their Power to make me break that Resolution. There are Schools for learning to use Foils, frequented by those who never design to fight; and this useless Way of aiming at the Heart, without Design to wound it on either Side, is the Play with which I am resolved to divert my self: The Man who pretends to win, I shall use like him who comes into a Fencing-School to pick a Quarrel. I hope, upon this Foundation, you will give me the free Use of the natural and artificial Force of my Eyes, Looks, and Gestures. As for verbal Promises, I will make none, but shall shall have no Mercy on the conceited Interpreters of No. 539. Glances and Motions. I am particularly skilled in the Tuesday, Nov. 18, downcast Eye, and the Recovery into a sudden full Aspect, 1712. and away again, as you may have seen sometimes practised by us Country Beauties beyond all that you have observed in Courts and Cities. Add to this, Sir, that I have a ruddy heedless Look, which covers Artifice the best of any thing. Tho' I can dance very well, I affect a tottering untaught' way of walking, by which I appear an easie Prey; and never exert my instructed Charms till I find I have engaged a Pursuer. Be pleased, Sir, to print this Letter, which will certainly begin the Chace of a rich Widow: The many Foldings, Escapes, Returns, and Doublings which I make, I shall from Time to Time communicate to you, for the better Instruction of all Females who set up, like me, for reducing the present exorbitant Power and Insolence of Man, I am, Sir, Your faithful Correspondent, 'Dear Mr. SPECTATOR, I depend upon your profess'd Respect for virtuous Love, for your immediate answering the Design of this Letter; which is no other than to lay before the World the Severity of certain Parents who desire to suspend the Marriage of a discreet young Woman of Eighteen three Years longer, for no other Reason but that of her being too young to enter into that State, As to the Con sideration of Riches, my Circumstances are such, that I cannot be suspected to make my Addresses to her on such low Motives as Avarice or Ambition, If ever Innocence, Wit, and Beauty, united their utmost Charms, they have in her. I wish you would expatiate a little on this Subject, and admonish her Parents that it may be from the very Imperfection of Human Nature it self, and not any personal Frailty of her or me, that our Inclinations baffled at present may alter; and while we are arguing with our selves to put off the Enjoyment of our present Passions, our Affections may change Nov. 18, 1712. No. 539. their Objects in the Operation. It is a very delicate Tuesday, Subject to talk upon; but if it were but hinted, I am in Hopes it would give the Parties concerned some Re flection that might expedite our Happiness. There is a Possibility, and I hope I may say it without Imputation of Immodesty to her I love with the highest Honour; I say, there is a Possibility this Delay may be as painful to her as it is to me, If it be as much, it must be more, by Reason of the severe Rules the Sex are under in being denyed even the Relief of Complaint. If you oblige me in this, and I succeed, I promise you a Place at my Wedding, and a Treatment suitable to your Spectatorial Dignity, 'Sir, Your most humble Servant, Eustace,' I yesterday heard a young Gentleman, that looked as if he was just come to the Town and a Scarf, upon Evil speaking; which Subject, you know, Archbishop Tillot son has so nobly handled in a Sermon in his Folio. As soon as ever he had named his Text, and had opened a little the Drift of his Discourse, I was in great Hopes he had been one of Sir ROGER'S Chaplains. I have con ceived so great an Idea of the charming Discourse above, that I should have thought one Part of my Sabbath very well spent in hearing a Repetition of it. But alas! Mr. SPECTATOR, this Reverend Divine gave us his Grace's Sermon, and yet I don't know how; even I, that I am sure have read it at least twenty times, could not tell what to make of it, and was at a Loss sometimes to guess what the Man aimed at, He was so just indeed as to give us all the Heads and the Sub-divisions of the Sermon; and farther, I think there was not one beautiful Thought in it but what we had. But then, Sir, this Gentleman made so many pretty Additions; and he could never give us a Paragraph of the Sermon, but he introduced it with something which, methought, looked more like a Design to shew his own Ingenuity, than to instruct the People. In short, he added and curtailed in such a Manner that he vexed me; insomuch that I could |