them at least fix feet high, and made three rows of very proper men; but the common foldiers, who filled up the Spaces between the officers, were fuch dwarfs, cripples, and fcarecrows, that one could hardly look upon them without laughing. There were behind the Acroftics two or three files of Chronograms, which differed only from the former, as their officers were equipped, like the figure of time, with an hour-glafs in one hand, and a fevthe in the other, and took their pofts promifcuously among the private men whom they commanded.

In the body of the temple, and before the very face of the deity, methought I faw the phantom of Tryphiodorus the Lipogrammatift, engaged in a ball with four, and-twenty perfons, who purfued him by turns through all the intricacies and labyrinths of a country dance, without being able to overtake him.

Obferving feveral to be very bufy at the western end of the Temple, I inquired into what they were doing, and found there was in that quarter the great magazine of Rebus's. There were feveral things of the most different natures tied up in bundles, and thrown upon one another in heaps like faggots. You might behold an anchor, a night-rail, and a hobby-horse, bound up together, One of the workmen feeing me very much furprized told me, there was an infinite deal of wit in feveral of thofe bundles, and that he would explain them to me if I pleafed. I thanked him for his civility, but told him I was in very great hafte at that time. As I was going out of the temple, I obferved in one corner of it a cluster of men and women laughing very heartily, and diverting themfelves at a game of Crambo. I heard feveral Double Rhymes as I paffed by them, which raifed a great deal of mirth.

Not far from thefe was another fet of merry people engaged at a diverfion, in which the whole jeft was to mistake one perfon for another. To give occafion for thefe ludicrous mistakes, they were divided into pairs, every pair being covered from head to foot with the fame kind of drefs, though perhaps there was not the leaft refemblance in their faces. By this

means

means an old man was fometimes mistaken for a boy, a woman for a man, and a black-a-moor for an European, which very often produced great peals of laughter. Thefe I gueffed to be a party of Puns. But being very defirous to get out of this world of magic, which had almoft turned my brain, I left the temple, and croffed over the fields that lay about it with all the fpeed I could make. I was not gone far before I heard the found of trumpets and alarms, which feemed to proclaim the march of an enemy; and, as I afterwards found, was in reality what I apprehended it. There appeared at a great distance a very fhining light, and, in the midft of it, a perfon of a most beautiful aspect; her name was Truth. On her right-hand there marched a male deity, who bore feveral quivers on his fhoulders, and grafped feveral arrows in his hand. His name was Wit. The approach of thefe two enemies filled all the territories of Falle Wit with an unfpeakable confternation, infomuch that the goddefs of thofe regions appeared in perfon upon her frontiers, with the feveral inferior deities, and the different bodies of forces which I had before feen in the temple, who were now drawn up in array, and prepared to give their foes a warm reception. As the march of the enemy was very flow, it gave time to the feveral inhabitants who bordered upon the regions of Falfhood to draw their forces into a body, with a defign to ftand upon their guard as neuters, and attend the iffue of the combat.

I muft here inform my reader, that the frontiers of the enchanted region, which I have before defcribed, were inhabited by the fpecies of Mixed Wit, who made a very odd appearance when they were mustered together in an army. There were men whofe bodies were stuck full of darts, and women whofe eyes were burning-glaffes; men that had hearts of fire, and women that had breafts of fnow. It would be endlefs to defcribe feveral monfters of the like nature, that compofed this great army; which immediately fell afunder and divided itself into two parts, the one half throwing themfelves behind

the

the banners of Truth, and the others behind those of Falfhood.

The goddefs of Falfhood was of a gigantic ftature, and advanced fome paces before the front of her army; but as the dazzling light, which flowed from Truth, began to fhine upon her, the faded infenfibly; infomuch, that in a little space fhe looked rather like an huge phantom than a real substance. At length, as the goddefs of Truth approached ftill nearer to her, the fell. away intirely, and vanifhed amidst the brightness of her prefence; fo that there did not remain the leaft trace or impreffion of her figure in the place where the had been feen.

As at the rifing of the fun the conftellations grow thin, and the stars go out one after another, till the whole hemifphere is extinguished; fuch was the vanishing of the goddess: and not only of the goddess herfelf, but of the whole army that attended her, which fympathized with their leader, and fhrunk into nothing, in proportion as the goddess disappeared. At the fame time the whole temple funk, the fish betook themselves to the ftreams, and the wild beafts to the woods, the fountains recovered their murmurs, the birds their voices, the trees their leaves, the flowers their fcents, and the whole face of nature its true and genuine appearance. Though I ftill continued afleep, I fancied myfelf as it were awakened out of a dream, when I faw this region of prodigies reftored to woods and rivers, fields and meadows.

Upon the removal of that wild fcene of wonders, which had very much difturbed my imagination, I took a full furvey of the perfons of Wit and Truth; for indeed it was impoffible to look upon the first, without feeing the other at the fame time. There was behind them a ftrong and compact body of figures. The genius of Heroic Poetry appeared with a fword in her hand, and a laurel on her head. Tragedy was crowned with cyprefs, and covered with robes dipped in blood. Satire had fmiles in her look, and a dagger under her garment. Rhetoric was

known

known by her thunderbolt; and Comedy by her mask. After feveral other figures, Epigram marched up in the rear, who had been pofted there at the beginning of the expedition, that he might not revolt to the enemy, whom he was fufpected to favour in his heart. I was very much awed and delighted with the appearance of the God of Wit; there was fomething fo amiable and yet fo piercing in his looks, as infpired me at once with love and terror. As I was gazing on him, to my unfpeakable joy, he took a quiver of arrows from his fhoulder, in order to make me a present of it; but as I was reaching out my hand to receive it of him, I knocked it against a chair, and by that means awaked.

THE

No. LXIV. MONDAY, MAY 14..

Hic vivimus ambitiofâ

Paupertate omnes

The face of wealth in poverty we wear.

Juv.

HE moft improper things we commit in the conduct of our lives, we are led into by the force of fashion. Inftances might be given, in which a prevailing custom makes us act against the rules of nature, law, and common fense; but at prefent I fhall confine my confideration of the effect it has upon men's minds, by looking into our behaviour when it is the fafhion to go into mourning. The cuftom of reprefenting the grief we have for the lofs of the dead by our habits, certainly had its rife from the real forrow of fuch as were too much diftreffed to take the proper care they ought of their drefs. By degrees it prevailed, that fuch as had this inward oppreffion upon their minds, made an apology for not joining with the reft of the world in their ordinary diverfions by a drefs fuited to their condition. This therefore was at firft affumed by fuch only as were under real diftrefs; to whom it

was

was a relief that they had nothing about them fo light and gay as to be irkfome to the gloom and melancholy of their inward reflections, or that might mifreprefent them to others. In procefs of time this laudable diftinction of the forrowful was loft, and mourning is now worn by heirs and widows. You see nothing but magnificence and folemnity in the equipage of the relict, and an air of release from fervitude in the pomp of a fon who has lost a wealthy father. This fashion of forrow is now become a generous part of the ceremonial between princes and fovereigns, who in the language of all nations are filed brothers to each other, and put on the purple upon the death of any potentate with whom they live in amity. Courtiers, and all who with themfelves fuch, are immediately feized with grief from head to foot upon this difafter to their prince; fo that one may know, by the very buckles of a gentleman-ufher, what degree of friendship any deceased monarch maintained with the court to which he belongs. A good courtier's habit and behaviour is hieroglyphical on thefe occafions; he deals much in whispers, and you may fee he dreffes according to the best intelligence.

The general affectation among men, of appearing greater than they are, makes the whole world run into the habit of the court. You fee the lady, who the day before was as various as a rainbow, upon the time appointed for beginning to mourn, as dark as a cloud. This humour does not prevail only on those whofe fortunes can fupport any change in their equipage, not on thofe only whofe income demand the wantonnefs of new appearances; but on fuch alfo who have juft enough to clothe them. An old acquaintance of mine, of ninety pounds a year, who has naturally the vanity of being a man of fashion deep at his heart, is very much put to it to bear the mortality of princes. He made a new black fuit upon the death of the King of Spain, he turned it for the King of Portugal, and he now keeps his chamber while it is fcouring for the emperor. He is a good œconomist