For my own part, I would never truft a man that I thought was capable of giving thefe fecret wounds; and cannot but think that he would hurt the perfon whofe reputation he thus affaults, in his body or in his fortune, could he do it with the fame fecurity. There is indeed fomething very barbarous and inhuman in the ordinary fcribblers of lampoons: an innocent young lady fhall be exposed for an unhappy feature; a father of a family turned to ridicule, for feme domeftic calamity; a wife be made uneafy all her life, for a misinterpreted word or action; nay, a good, a temperate, and a juft man, fball be put out of countenance by the reprefentation of thofe qualities that fhould do him honour. So pernicious a thing is wit when it is not tempered with virtue and humanity. I have, indeed, heard of heedlefs inconfiderate writers, that without any malice have facrificed the reputation of their friends and acquaintance to a certain levity of temper, and a filly ambition of diftinguishing themfelves by a fpirit of raillery and fatire; as if it were not infinitely more honourable to be a good-natured man than a wit. Where there is this little petulant humour in an author, he is often very mischievous without defigning to be fo. For which reafon I always lay it down as a rule, that an indifcreet man is more hurtful than an ill-natured one; for as the latter will only attack his enemies, and thofe he wishes ill to, the other injures indifferently both friends and foes. I cannot forbear, on this occafion, tranfcribing a fable out of Sir Roger l'iftrange, which accidentally lies before me: A company of waggish boys were watching of frogs at the fide of a pond, and ftill as any of 'em put up their heads they'd be pelting them down ⚫ again with fones Children, fays one of the frogs, you 6 never confider that, though this may be play to you, 'tis death to us.' As this week is in a manner fet apart and dedicated to ferious thoughts, I fhall indulge myself in fuch fpeculations as may not be altogether unfuitable to the season : and in the mean time, as the fettling in ourselves a charitable frame of mind is a work very proper for the time, I have in this paper endeavoured to expofe that particular breach of charity which has been generally overlooked by divines, because they are but few who can be guilty it. No. XXIV. WEDNESDAY, MARCH 28. Accurrit quidam notus mihi nomine tantum ; Comes up a fop (I knew him but by fame) HOR. THERE are in this town a great number of infignifi cant people, who are by no means fit for the better fort of converfation, and yet have an impertinent ambition of appearing with those to whom they are not welcome. If you walk in the Park, one of them will certainly join with you, though you are in company with ladies; if you drink a bottle, they will find your haunts. What makes fuch fellows the more burdenfome is, that they neither offend nor pleafe fo far as to be taken notice of for either. It is, I prefume, for this reafon, that my correspondents are willing by my means to be rid of them. The two following letters are written by perfons who fuffer by fuch impertinence. A worthy old bachelor, who fets in for his defe of claret every night at fuch an hour, is teazed by a fwarm of them; who, because they are fure of room and good fire, have taken it in their heads to keep a fort of club in his company, though the good fober gentleman himfeif is an utter enemy to fuch meetings. • Mr. Spectator, THE averfion I for fome years have had to clubs in general, gave me a perfect relifh for your fpeculation on that fubject; but I have fince been extremely mortified, by the malicious world's ranking me amongst the the upporters of fuch impertinent affemblies. I beg leave to ftate my cafe fairly; and that done, I fhall expect redrefs from your judicious pen. 'I am, Sir, a bachelor of some standing, and a traveller; my business, to confult my own humour, which I gratify without controlling other people's; I have a room and a whole bed to myfelf; and I have a dog, a • fiddle, and a gun; they please me, and injure no creature alive. My chief ineal is a fupper, which I always make at a tavern. I am conftant to an hour, and not • ill-humoured; for which reafons, though I invite nobody, I have no fooner fupped than I have a crowd about me of that fort of good company that know not whither elfe to go. It is true, every inan pays his fhare; yet, as they are intruders, I have an undoubted right to be the only fpeaker, or at least the loudeft; which I maintain, and that to the great emolument of my audience. I fometimes tell them their own in pretty free language; and fometimes divert them with merry tales, according as I am in humour. I am one of thofe who live in taverns to a great age, by a fort of regular intemperance; I never go to bed drunk, but always fluftered; I wear away very gently, am apt to be peevith, but never angry. Mr. Spectator, if you have kept various company, you know there is in every tavern in town fome old humourift or other, who is mafter of the houfe as much as he that keeps it. The drawers are all in awe of him; and all the customers who frequent his company, yield him a fort of comical obedience. I do not know but I may be fuch a fellow as this myself: but I appeal to you, whether this is to be called a club, becaufe fo many impertinents will break in upon me, and come without appointment? Clinch of Barnet has a nightly meeting, and fhows to every one that will come in and pay: but then he is • the only actor. Why fhould people inifcall things? If his is allowed to be a concert, why mayn't mine be a lecture? However, Sir, I fubmit it to you, and am, • Sir, Your most obedient, &c. "Good Sir, YOU and I were preffed against each other laft winter in a crowd; in which uneafy pofture we fuffered together for almoft half an hour. I thank you for all your civilities ever fince, in being of my acquaintance wherever you meet me. But the other day you pull'd off your hat to me in the Park, when I was walking with my miftrefs: fhe did not like your air, and faid, the wondered what ftrange fellows I was acquainted with. Dear Sir, confider it is as much as my life is worth, if the fhould think we were intimate; ⚫ therefore I earnestly intreat you for the future to take 6 no manner of notice of, • Sir, Your obliged humble fervant, WILL. FASHION.' A like impertinence is alfo very troublesome to the fuperior and more intelligent part of the fair fex. It is, it feems, a great inconvenience that thofe of the meanest capacities will pretend to make vifits, though indeed they are qualified rather to add to the furniture of the houfe by filling an empty chair, than to the converfation they come into when they vifit. A friend of mine hopes for redress in this case by the publication of a letter in my paper, which the thinks thofe fhe would be rid of will take to themselves. It feems to be written with an eye to one of thofe pert giddy unthinking girls, who, upon the recommendation only of an agreeable person and a fashionable air, take themselves to be upon a level with women of the greatest merit. • Madam, I TAKE this way to acquaint you with what common rules and forms would never permit me to tell you otherwife; to wit, that you and I, tho' equals in quality and fortune, are by no means fuitable compa ⚫niens. nions. You are, 'tis true, very pretty, can dance, and make a very good figure in a public affembly: but alas, Madam, you must go no further; distance ⚫ and filence are your best recommendations; therefore let me beg of you never to make me any more vifits. 'You come in a literal fenfe to fee one; for you have nothing to fay. I do not fay this, that I would by any " means lofe your acquaintance; but I would keep it up with the ftricteft forms of good-breeding. Let us pay vifits, but never fee one another. If you will be fo good as to deny yourfelf always to me, I fhall return the obligation by giving the fame orders to my serv◄ 6 ants. When accident makes us meet at a third place, we may mutually lament the misfortune of never finding one another at home, go in the fame party to a benefit-play, and smile at each other, and put down glaffes as we pafs in our coaches. Thus we may enjoy as much of each other's friendship as we are capable; for there are fome people who are to be known only by fight, with which fort of friendship I hope you will always honour, • Madam, • Your moft obedient humble fervant, P. S. I fubfcribe myself by the name of the day I keep, that my fupernumerary friends may know who 'I am.' ADVERTISEMENT. "TO prevent all mistakes that may happen among "gentlemen of the other end of the town, who come "but once a week to St. James's coffee-house, either by "mifcalling the fervants or requiring fuch things from "them as are not properly within their refpective pro"vinces, this to give notice, that Kidney, keeper of "the book-debts of the outlying customers, and obferver "of those who go off without paying, having refigned K "that |