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30 T 31 F THE art of book-keeping taught in one short and easy lesson-Never lend them.

CURIOUS election penances, paid in times past by the foolish, are still fresh in the memory of many. For example: A gentleman in Chicago had to carry a fat Republican on his shoulders through the streets, preceded by a band of music. A well-known New Yorker, as an appropriate punishment for being a Copperhead, was condemned to wear for a year a hat two feet high, with a brim seven inches wide. A student in Maine was compelled to part with his cherished whiskers and mustache. Another man had

to whittle two barrels of shavings in the street. A well-known citizen of Boston, in fulfillment of the terms of a wager, wheeled a barrel of oysters all the way from Portland to his house in Bowdoin Square-a journey which occupied him nearly a week.

A PRETTY girl says: "If our Maker thought it wrong for Adam to live single when there was not a woman on earth, how criminally guilty are old bachelors, with the world full of pretty girls!"

A DRINKING artist doesn't exhibit water-colors.

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5 32 9 46 4 257 40 2 34 9 35 4 297 35 2 37 6 21 4 377 29 2 41 5 28 10 47 4 267 40 3 26 10 34 4 297 35 3 30 7 19 4 377 29 3 34 THE following story is told of an Irish newspaper editor who was pressed for copy:

The foreman called down to him from the printing-office, "We want six lines to fill a column,"

"Kill a child at Waterford," was the reply. Soon after came a second message: "We have killed the child, and still want two lines." "Contradict it."

"WELL, Johnny, what kind of cake do you

like?"

"Why, I like sponge-cake, and pound-cake, and plum-cake, and any kind of cake but stomach-ache-that I don't like at all, I don't."

A PRETTY young Americaness, whose Christian name is Anna, on receiving a cigar from a young gentleman who had not pluck enough to say he wished to marry her, twirled it playfully beneath her nose, and looking archly at him, proposed the question to him thus: "HaveAnna?"

"SAMBO, wh't am your 'pinion ob rats?" "Wall, I t'ink de one dat has de shortest tail will get in de hole de quickest. E'yah! e'yah! e'yah!"

TRANSPORTED for life-the man who marries

happily.

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29 M 3 34 10 33 4 49 7 23
30 T 3 30 11 34 4 507 22
31 W
3 26 ev. 33|4 517 21 7 34 morn
A BOY once complained of his brother for
taking half of the bed. "And why not?" said
his mother; "he is entitled to half, is he not?"
"Yes, ma," said the boy; "but how should you
like to have him take all the soft for his half?
He will have his half out of the middle, and I
have to sleep on both sides of him."

DISCARDED." Why, Bill, what's the matter
with you? you look down in the mouth.""
"Well, Pete, if you'd been through what I
have, you'd look bad, too."

"What's the matter?"

"Well, you know Sarah Snivels, don't you, Pete?"

"Yes."

"I discarded her last night."
"You did! What for?"

"Well, I'll tell you. She said she wouldn't marry me, and I'll discard any girl that would treat me in that way."

"How is coal now?" inquired a gentleman of an Irishman, who was "dumping" a load in the street.

"Black as ever," responded Pat.

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7 24 morn 5 246 36 7 28 9 16 5 26 6 34 7 23 7 57 0 29 5 256 34 7 57 9 575 276 327 58 apartment. Prince Pignatelli demurred at first, protesting that there must be absolutely some mistake; but the gendarmes showed the written order from the governor of Rome, whereupon Prince Pignatelli at once acquiesced in delivering up the papers, and added that next morning he would call on the governor, and clear up what he knew must be some extraordinary blunder. Next morning the Prince accordingly went to the governor, who listened to him with blank surprise. He had never given the order; no one in his office had given it; the whole affair was an audacious act on the part of men dressed as gendarmes.

A SINGULAR DECEPTION.-The Roman National Committee last year did one of the boldest feats on record. It was known that the Neapolitan Bourbonists had their central agency in the apartments occupied by one of their number in the Palazzo Valdembrini. The Committee wished to lay its hands on the papers of this knot of royalist conspirators. One night these Neapolitan nobles, who, like all their countrymen, are addicted to cards, were disturbed in their nightly play by the appearance of Papal gendarmes, who said that they had orders to seize and carry to the police office all papers in the

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29 M
30 T 3 30 11 34 4 507 22
31 W
3 26 ev. 33|4 517 21 7 34 morn
A BOY once complained of his brother for
taking half of the bed. "And why not?" said
his mother; "he is entitled to half, is he not?"
"Yes, ma," said the boy; "but how should you
like to have him take all the soft for his half?
He will have his half out of the middle, and I
have to sleep on both sides of him."

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7 31 "Well, you know

Pete?"

"Yes."

"I discarded her last night." "You did! What for?" "Well, I'll tell you. She said she wouldn't marry me, and I'll discard any girl that would treat me in that way.

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"How is coal now?" inquired a gentleman of an Irishman, who was "dumping" a load in the street.

"Black as ever," responded Pat.

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Sarah Snivels, don't you,

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