Ros. [To ORLANDO.] And you say, you will have her, when I bring her? Orl. That would I, were I of all kingdoms king. Ros. [To PHEBE.] You say, you'll marry me, if I be willing? Phe. That will I, should I die the hour after. Ros. But if you do refuse to marry me, You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd? Phe. So is the bargain. Ros. [To SILVIUS.] You say, that you'll have Phebe, if she will? Sil. Though to have her and death were both one thing. Ros. I have promis'd to make all this matter even. Keep you your word, O duke! to give your daughter;You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter:Keep you your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me; Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd :Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her, If she refuse me :--and from hence I go, To make these doubts all even-even so. [Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA. Duke S. I do remember in this shepherd-boy Some lively touches of my daughter's favour. Orl. My lord, the first time that I ever saw him, Methought he was a brother to your daughter: But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born, And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments Of many desperate studies by his uncle, Whom he reports to be a great magician, Obscured in the circle of this forest. Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY. Jaq. There is, sure, another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools. Touch. Salutation and greeting to you all. Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded gentleman, that I have so often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears. Touch. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flattered a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one. Jaq. And how was that ta'en up? Touch. 'Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was the seventh cause. upon Jaq. How the seventh cause?-Good my lord, like this fellow. Duke S. I like him very well. Touch. God'ild you, sir; I desire you of the like. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear, and to forswear, according as marriage binds, and blood breaks.-A poor virgin, sir, an illfavoured thing, sir, but mine own: a poor humour of mine, sir, to take that that no man else will. Rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor-house, as your pearl in your foul oyster. Duke S. By my faith, he is very swift and senten tious. Touch. According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases. Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause? Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed.-Bear your body more seeming, Audrey.-As thus, sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard: he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is called the "retort courteous." If I sent him word again, it was not well cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please him self: this is called the "quip modest." If again, it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment: this is called the "reply churlish." If again, it was not well cut, he would answer, I spake not true: this is called the "reproof valiant." If again, it was not well cut, he would say, I lied: this is called the "countercheck quarrelsome:" and so to the "lie circumstantial," and the "lie direct." Jaq. And how oft did you say, his beard was not well cut? Touch. I durst go no farther than the "lie circumstantial," nor he durst not give me the "lie direct;" and so we measured swords, and parted. Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie? Touch. O sir, we quarrel in print, by the book, as you have books for good manners: I will name you the degrees. The first, the retort courteous; the second, the quip modest; the third, the reply churlish; the fourth, the reproof valiant; the fifth, the countercheck quarrelsome; the sixth, the lie with circumstance; the seventh, the lie direct. All these you may avoid, but the lie direct; and you may avoid that too, with an if. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an if, as If you said so, then I said so; and they shook hands and swore brothers. Your if is the only peace-maker; much virtue in if. Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good at any thing, and yet a fool. Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit. Enter HYMEN, leading ROSALIND in woman's clothes and CELIA. Still Music. Hym. Then is there mirth in heaven, Good duke, receive thy daughter, BLIOTECA That thou might'st join her hand with his, Whose heart within her bosom is. AD Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind. Ros. [To DUKE S.] I'll have no father, if you be not he : [TO ORLANDO.] I'll have no husband, if you be not he: [To PHEBE.] Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she. Hym. Peace, ho! I bar confusion. "Tis I must make conclusion Of these most strange events: If truth holds true contents. [TO OLIVER and CELIA.] You and you are [To PHEBE.] You to his love must accord, DERECHO [To TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY.] You and you are sure together, As the winter to foul weather. SONG. Wedding is great Juno's crown: O, blessed bond of board and bed! High wedlock, then, be honoured: Duke S. O, my dear niece! welcome thou art to me: Phe. [To SILVIUS.] I will not eat my word, now thou art mine; Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine. Enter Second Brother. 2 Bro. Let me have audience for a word or two. I am the second son of old Sir Rowland, That brings these tidings to this fair assembly.Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day Men of great worth resorted to this forest, Address'd a mighty power, which were on foot In his own conduct, purposely to take His brother here, and put him to the sword. And to the skirts of this wild wood he came, Where, meeting with an old religious man, After some question with him, was converted Both from his enterprize, and from the world; His crown bequeathing to his banish'd brother, And all their lands restor'd to them again, That were with him exil'd. This to be true, I do engage my life. Welcome, young man. Duke S. Play, music! and you brides and bridegrooms all, Jaq. Sir, by your patience.-If I heard you rightly, The duke hath put on a religious life, And thrown into neglect the pompous court? 2 Bro. He hath. Jaq. To him will I: out of these convertites There is much matter to be heard and learn'd.You [To DUKE S.] to your former honour I bequeath; Your patience, and your virtue, well deserve it :You [To ORLANDO] to a love, that your true faith doth merit: You [To OLIVER] to your land, and love, and great allies: You [To SILVIUS] to a long and well deserved bed :And you [To TOUCHSTONE] to wrangling; for thy loving voyage Is but for two months victuall'd.-So, to your pleasures: Jaq. To see no pastime, I:—what you would have, I'll stay to know at your abandon'd cave. [Exit. Duke S. Proceed, proceed: we will begin these rites, As we do trust they'll end, in true delights. EPILOGUE. Ros. It is not the fashion to see the lady the Epi- | logue; but it is no more unhandsome, than to see the lord the Prologue. If it be true, that good wine needs no bush, 'tis true that a good play needs no epilogue; yet to good wine they do use good bushes, and good plays prove the better by the help of good epilogues. What a case am I in, then, that am neither a good epilogue, nor cannot insinuate with you in the behalf of a good play? I am not furnished like a beggar, therefore to beg will not become me: my way is, to conjure you; and I'll begin with the women. I charge you, O women! for the love you bear to men, to like as much of this play as please you and I charge you, O men! for the love you bear to women, (as I perceive by your simpering none of you hates them) that between you and the women, the play may please. If I were a woman, I would kiss as many of you as had beards that pleased me, complexions that liked me, and breaths that I defied not; and, I am sure, as many as have good beards, or good faces, or sweet breaths, will, for my kind offer, when I make curtsey, bid me farewell. [Exeunt. Tailor, Haberdasher, and Servants attending on Baptista and Petruchio. INDUCTION. SCENE I.-Before an Alehouse on a Heath. Enter HOSTESS and CHRISTOPHERO SLY. Sly. I'll pheese you, in faith. Host. I know my remedy; I must go fetch the Lord. Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well my Brach Merriman,-the poor cur is emboss'd, I would not lose the dog for twenty pound. 1 Hun. Why, Belman is as good as he, my lord; Lord. Thou art a fool: if Echo were as fleet, I would esteem him worth a dozen such. 1 Hun. I will, my lord. 2 Hun. He breathes, my lord. Were he not warm'd with ale, This were a bed but cold to sleep so soundly. Lord. O, monstrous beast! how like a swine he lies. 1 Hun. Believe me, lord, I think he cannot choose. Lord. What's here? one dead, or drunk? See, doth For he is nothing but a mighty lord. he breathe? This do, and do it kindly, gentle sirs: your hands? It will be pastime passing excellent, Anon I'll give thee more instructions. [Exit Servant. 1 Hun. My lord, I warrant you, we will play our part, Voice, gait, and action of a gentlewoman: Lord. Take him up gently, and to bed with him, And each one to his office when he wakes. [SLY is borne out. A trumpet sounds. Sirrah, go see what trumpet 'tis that sounds : [Exit Servant. Belike, some noble gentleman, that means, How now? who is't? Enter five or six Players. Now, fellows, you are welcome. 1 Play. I think, 'twas Soto that your honour means. i Play. Fear not, my lord: we can contain ourselves, Were he the veriest antic in the world, I long to hear him call the drunkard husband, Lord. Go, sirrah, take them to the buttery, Which, in a napkin being close convey'd, See this despatch'd with all the haste thou canst: Sly. For God's sake, a pot of small ale. 1 Serv. Will't please your lordship drink a cup of sack? 2 Serv. Will't please your honour taste of these conserves? 3 Serv. What raiment will your honour wear to-day? Lord. Heaven cease this evil humour in your honour! Sly. What! would you make me mad? Am not I Christophero Sly, old Sly's son, of Burton-heath; by birth a pedlar, by education a card-maker, by transmutation a bear-herd, and now by present profession a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat alewife of Wincot, if she know me not: if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for Warwickshire ale, score me up for the lying'st knave in Christendom. What! I am not bestraught. Here's 1 Serv. O! this it is that makes your lady mourn. house, As beaten hence by your strange lunacy. Each in his office ready at thy beck: Wilt thou have music? hark! Apollo plays, [Music. Or wilt thou sleep? we'll have thee to a couch, On purpose trimm'd up for Semiramis. 1 Serv. Say thou wilt course, thy greyhounds are As breathed stags, ay, fleeter than the roe. 2 Serv. Dost thou love pictures? we will fetch thee straight Adonis painted by a running brook, And Cytherea all in hedges hid, Which seem to move and wanton with her breath, Even as the waving sedges play with wind. 3 Serv. Or Daphne roaming through a thorny wood, Lord. Thou art a lord, and nothing but a lord: Thou hast a lady, far more beautiful Than any woman in this waning age. 1 Serv. And, till the tears that she hath shed for thee, Like envious floods, o'er-ran her lovely face, She was the fairest creature in the world; And yet she is inferior to none. Sly. Am I a lord? and have I such a lady? I smell sweet savours, and I feel soft things.- 2 Serv. Will't please your mightiness to wash your hands? [Servants present an ewer, bason, and napkin. O, how we joy to see your wits restor'd! O, that once more you knew but what you are! These fifteen years you have been in a dream, Or, when you wak'd, so wak'd as if you slept. Sly. These fifteen years! by my fay, a goodly nap. But did I never speak of all that time? 1 Serv. O! yes, my lord, but very idle words; For though you lay here in this goodly chamber, Yet would you say, ye were beaten out of door, And rail upon the hostess of the house, And say you would present her at the leet, Because she brought stone jugs, and not seal'd quarts. Sometimes you would call out for Cicely Hacket. Sly. Ay, the woman's maid of the house. 3 Serv. Why, sir, you know no house, nor no such maid, Sly. Now, Lord be thanked for my good amends! Sly. I thank thee; thou shalt not lose by it. Enter the Page, as a Lady, with Attendants. Page. How fares my noble lord? Sly. Marry, I fare well; for here is cheer enough. Where is my wife? Page. Here, noble lord: 'what is thy will with her? Sly. Are you my wife, and will not call me husband? My men should call me lord: I am your good-man. Page. My husband and my lord, my lord and husband; I am your wife in all obedience. Sly. I know it well.-What must I call her? Sly. Al'ce madam, or Joan madam? Lord. Madam, and nothing else: so lords call ladies. Sly. Madam wife, they say that I have dream'd, And slept about some fifteen year and more. Page. Ay, and the time seems thirty unto me, Being all this time abandon'd from your bed. Sly. 'Tis much.-Servants, leave me and her alone.Madam, undress you, and come now to bed. Page. Thrice noble lord, let me entreat of you Sly. Ay, it stands so, that I may hardly tarry so long; but I would be loath to fall into my dreams again: I will therefore tarry, in despite of the flesh and the blood. Enter a Servant. Serv. Your honour's players, hearing your amend ment, Are come to play a pleasant comedy; Sly. Marry, I will; let them play it. Is not a com- Page. It is a kind of history. Sly. Well, we'll see't. Come, madam wife, sit by my side, We shall ne'er be younger, and let the world slide. SCENE I.-Padua. A Public Place. Luc. Tranio, since, for the great desire I had And, by my father's love and leave, am arm'd ACT I. It shall become, to serve all hopes conceiv'd, |