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No sooner is a ship at sea surpris'd,

But straight he learns the news, and doth disclose it;

No sooner hath the Turk a plot devis'd

To conquer Christendom, but straight he knows it.*

Fair-written in a scroll he hath thet names
Of all the widows which the plague hath

And persons, times, and places, still he frames
To every tale, the better to persuade.
We call him Fame, for that the wide-mouth

Will eat as fast as he will utter lies;

For Fame is said an hundred mouths to have,
And he eats more than would five-score suffice.


Lycus, which lately is to Venice gone,
Shall, if he do ‡‡ return, gain three for one : §§
But, ten to one, his knowledge and his wit
Will not be better'd or increas'd a whit.

*No sooner hath the Turk a plot devis'd

To conquer Christendom, but straight he knows it] So MS.-These two lines are omitted in eds.

↑ the] So ed. A, and MS.-Not in eds. B, C. which] So eds.-MS. "that."

§ Paulus] So eds. B, C.-Ed. A. "Paules." - MS. "Palus."

spite] So eds.-MS. "fight."

ocean so much] So eds. B, C.-Ed, A "oceans 80 much."-MS. "ocean much."



By lawful mart, and by unlawful stealth,
Paulus, § in spite of envy, fortunate,
Derives out of the ocean so much ¶ wealth,
As he may well maintain a lord's estate:
But on the land a little gulf there is,
Wherein he drowneth all that ** wealth of Thou, Sylla, seem'st forth with §§§§ to be offended,
the contrary, and swear'st ¶¶¶¶

When I this proposition had defended,
"A coward cannot be an honest man,"


And hold'st
he can.

** that] Eds. "the."-MS. "ye."-The original manuscript, in all probability, had "yt" (that).

† which lately] So eds.-MS. "that is of late.” do] So eds.-MS. "doth."

§§ gain three for one] In our author's days, it was a common practice for persons, before setting out on their travels, to deposit a sum of money, on condition of receiving large interest for it at their return: if they never returned, the deposit was forfeited. Innumerable allusions to "putters out" occur in the works published during the reigns of Elizabeth and James.


and] So eds.-MS. "or."


Publius, a student at the Common-Law,
Oft leaves his books,† and, for his recreation,
To Paris-garden § doth himself withdraw;
Where he is ravish'd with such delectation,
As down amongst the bears and dogs he goes;
Where, whilst he skipping cries, "To head,**
to head,"

His satin doublet and his velvet hose ++
Are all with spittle from above be-spread:
Then is he like his §§ father's country hall,||||
Stinking of ¶¶ dogs, and muted *** all with

And rightly too on him this filth doth fall,+++ Which for such filthy sports §§§ his books|||||| forsakes,¶¶¶


Leaving old Ployden, ++++ Dyer, and
Brooke alone,

To see old Harry Hunkes and Sacarson.‡‡‡‡

*a] So MS.-Not in eds.
tbooks] So eds.-MS. "booke."

this] So eds.-Not in MS.

§ To Paris-garden] i. e. to the bear-garden on the Bankside, Southwark.-So cds. A, B.-Ed. C "To Parishgarden."-MS. "The Parish garden.”

As] So eds.-MS. "That."

Where] So eds. B, C; and MS.-Ed. A "were." ** To head] So eds. A, B; and MS.-Ed. C "head." tt hose] i. e. breeches.

Then is he] So MS.-Eds. "When he is."

§§ his] So eds. B, C; and MS.-Ed. A "a."

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hall] So ed. A; and MS.-Eds. B, C, "shall.'

¶¶ of] So MS.-Eds. "with."

*** muted] i.e. dunged.

ttt too on him this filth doth fall] So eds.-MS. "doth such filth vpon him fall."

:: Which] So eds. -MS. "That."

§§§ sports] So eds. B, C; and MS.-Ed. A "spots." books] So eds.-MS "booke."

¶¶¶ forsakes] So eds. B, C; and MS.-Ed. A "forsake."
**** Leaving] So eds.-MS. "And leaues."
tttt Ployden] i.e. Plowden.

1: Sacarson] So eds.-MS. "Sakerstone." - Harry Hunkes and Sacarson were two bears at Paris-Garden: the latter was the more famous, and is mentioned by Shakespeare in The Merry Wives of Windsor, act 1, sc. 1. §§§§ Sylla, seem'st forthwith] So eds.-MS. "seemst forthwith, Sella."

hold'st] So MS.-Eds. "holdes" (and "holds'). ¶¶¶¶ swear'st] So MS.-Eds. "sweres."

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Nor what great town in all the Netherlands
The States determine to besiege this spring,
Nor how the Scottish policy now stands,
Nor what becomes of the Irish mutining.
But he doth seriously bethink him whether
Of the gull'd people he be more esteem'd
For his long cloak or [for] his great black feather
By which each gull is now a gallant deem'd ;
Or of a journey he deliberates

To Paris-garden,+ Cock-pit, or the play;
Or how to steal a dog he meditates,

Or what he shall unto his mistress say.

Yet with these thoughts he thinks himself most fit

To be of counsel with a king for wit.


Peace, idle Muse, have done! for it is time,
Since lousy Ponticus envies my fame,
And swears the better sort are much to blame
To make me so well known for my § ill rhyme.
Yet Banks his horsell is better known than he;
So are the camels and the western hog,
And so is Lepidus his printed dog: ¶
Why doth not Ponticus their fames envỳ?

* States] So eds. B, C.-Ed. A "starres."

↑ Paris-garden] See note §, p. 363, sec. col. envies] So eds. B, C.-Ed. A "ensues."

§ my] So eds. B, C.-Not in ed. A.

Banks his horse] i. e. Banks's horse: see note **, p. 360, first col.

Lepidus his printed dog] i. e. Lepidus's printed dog. So eds. B, C.-Ed. A "Lepidus hie printed dogge." The following epigram by Sir John Harington determines that he is the Lepidus of this passage and that his favourite dog Bungey is the "printed dog." In a compartment of the engraved title-page to Harington's Orlando Furioso, 1591, is a representation of Bungey (see too the Annotations on Book xli of that poem); and hence he is termed by Davies the "printed dog."

"Against Momus, in praise of his dog Bungey. "Because a witty writer of this time

Doth make some mention in a pleasant rime
Of Lepidus and of his famous dog,

Thou, Momus, that dost love to scoffe and cog,
Prat'st amongst base companions, and giv'st out
That unto me herein is meant a flout.

Hate makes thee blind, Momus: I dare be sworn,
He meant to me his love, to thee his scorn.
Put on thy envious spectacles, and see
Whom doth he scorn therein, the dog or me?
The dog is grac'd, compared with great Banks,
Both beasts right famous for their pretty pranks;
Although in this I grant the dog was worse,
He only fed my pleasure, not my purse:

Besides, this Muse of mine and the black feather Grew both together fresh in estimation;

Yet that same dog, I may say this and boast it,
He found my purse with gold when I have [had] lost it.
Now for myself: some fooles (like thee) may judge
That at the name of Lepidus I grudge:
No, sure; so far I think it from disgrace,
I wisht it cleare to me and to my race.
Lepus or Lepos, I in both have part;
That in my name beare, this in mine heart.
But, Momus, I perswade myself that no man
Will deigne thee such a name, English or Roman.

Ile wage a but of sack, the best in Bristo,
Who cals me Lepid, I will call him Tristo."
Epigrams, Book iii. Ep. 21, ed. folio.
* fresh] So eds. A, B.-Not in ed. C.

And both, grown stale, were cast away together: What fame is this that scarce lasts out a fashion? Only this last in credit doth remain,

That from henceforth each bastard cast-forth


Which doth but savour of a libel vein,

Shall call me father, and be thought my crime;
So dull, and with so little sense endu'd,
Is my gross-headed judge, the multitude.*

* the multitude] After these words eds. have "J. D.'


I LOVE thee not for sacred chastity,-
Who loves for that?-nor for thy sprightly wit;
I love thee not for thy sweet modesty,
Which makes thee in perfection's throne to sit;
I love thee not for thy enchanting eye,
Thy beauty[s] ravishing perfection;

I love thee not for unchaste luxury,t
Nor for thy body's fair proportion;

I love thee not for that my soul doth dance
And leap with pleasure, when those lips of thine
Give musical and graceful utterance

Sweet wench, I love thee: yet I will not sue,
Or shew my love as musky courtiers do;
I'll not carouse a health to honour thee,
In this same bezzling‡ drunken courtesy,

To some (by thee made happy) poet's line;

I love thee not for voice or slender small:+

But wilt thou know wherefore? fair sweet, for And, when all's quaff'd, eat up my bousing


glass, §

Faith, wench, I cannot court thy sprightly eyes,
With the base-viol plac'd between my thighs;
I cannot lisp, nor to some fiddle sing,
Nor run upon a high-stretch'd minikin;
I cannot whine in puling elegies,
Entombing Cupid with sad obsequies;

I am not fashion'd for these amorous times,
To court thy beauty with lascivious rhymes;
I cannot dally, caper, dance, and sing,
Oiling my saint with supple sonnetting;

* Ignoto] This copy of verses is found only in ed. A.

↑ luxury] i. e. lust.

small] i. e., I suppose, of the waist.

I cannot cross my arms, or sigh "Ay me,
Ay me, forlorn!" egregious foppery!

I cannot buss* thy fill, play with thy hair,
Swearing by Jove, "thou art most debonair!"
Not I, by cock!+ but [I] shall tell thee

Hark in thine ear,-zounds, I can (

) thee


In glory that I am thy servile ass;
Nor will I wear a rotten Bourbon lock,
As some sworn peasant to a female smock.
Well-featur'd lass, thou know'st I love thee dear:
Yet for thy sake I will not bore mine ear,
To hang thy dirty silken shoe-tires there;
Nor for thy love will I once gnash a brick,
Or some pied colours in my bonnet stick :
But, by the chaps of hell, to do thee good,
I'll freely spend my thrice-decocted blood.

* buss] i. e. kiss.

† cock] A very old corruption of the sacred tame. This is proved by the equally common expressions, "Cock's passion," "Cock's body," &c.

bezzling] i. e. tippling, sotting.
§ bousing glass] i. e. drinking-glass.


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