s. B. I assure you, Marianne, he has it; and the blance is, in all respects, so perfect, that it cannot tributed to chance.

s. F. The profligate monster! But to what base can he have procured it? and by what means? rs. B. 'Tis difficult to tell. Perhaps, unobserved by he may have seen you somewhere or other, and beng enamoured of you, contrived to procure a copy our picture at the exhibition.

[rs. F. [Aside.] I rather suspect. My dear, are you , are you quite sure, that Mr. Simpson is the person able of

-Irs. B. Capable! After the discoveries we have made ay, I'm convinced he is capable of any thing.

Mrs. F. [Aside.] One partner torments me with letters, other purloins my portrait-am I fated to turn the ads of the whole firm of Simpson & Co. ?

Mrs. B. Here he comes, expecting, no doubt, to find u alone, and prepared with a formal declaration.

Enter SIMPSON, R.

Simp. My dear Mrs. S. seems inclined to open a fresh ccount, but as we have had sufficient dealings in the artie of bickering for one day, I leave her to-Ah! Mrs. 'itzallan, your humble-and Mrs. Bromley, too-I hope am not an interruption.

Mrs. B. On the contrary, sir, this lady and myself deire an opportunity of gently and quietly remonstrating with you. Mr. Simpson, your conduct is most atrocious. Mrs. F. 'Tis barbarous !-'tis ungentlemanly!-'tis unmanly!

Simp. Madam, if ever I—

Mrs. B. What excuse have you for endangering, as you have done, the reputation of a respectable woman? Simp. [In anger.] I vow and declare, that since the day I was born

Mrs. F. Will you be so obliging, sir, as to answer distinctly, the questions I shall put to you? Simp. So! a regular examination! Speak, ladies; state your charges; I shall not employ counsel, but plead my own cause.

Mrs. F. Then, sir, I must insist on your answering mo

seriously, and without equivocation:-Till this day, did you ever see me before?

Simp. Seriously, and without equivocation, I never did.

Mrs. F. Has any person-any one who may take an interest in me-made you the depository of his secret? Simp. Madam, I assure you till this day I never had the pleasure either of seeing you or of hearing you spo

ken of.

Mrs. F. Enough. Now, sir, as a man of honour, you cannot refuse to relinquish my portrait, your possession of which is, at once, offensive and injurious to me.

Simp. Your portrait! your portrait, ma'am !—[Aside.] Oh, hang it, I see now they are quizzing me for my wife's jealousy. Mrs. Bromley first began running the joke against me to-day, as a hen-pecked husband; and now she has got Mrs. Fitzallan to join her.

Mrs. B. [To Mrs. Fitzallan.] He hesitates.

Mrs. F. Am I to be honoured with your answer, sir? Simp. [Aside.] 'Gad, I'll have a hoax as well as they, and turn the tables on 'em.-Well, madam, [To Mrs. F.] I confess that I have as truly got your portrait—

Mrs. B. At length, then, you confess; that is the first step towards repentance. Your wife is an excellent woman; repent, Mr. Simpson, and I trust she will pardon

you.

Enter MRS. SIMPSON, R.

Come, come, my love, let me be peacemaker.-Mr. Simpson has confessed his errors, and promises sincere repentance, and you must forgive him.

Mrs. S. And what have you to say for yourself, Mr. Simpson?

Simp. What have I to say for myself? I have merely said, that as truly as I have that lady's portrait she has mine, and I will restore her beautiful bust when she gives me my little full length.

Mrs. F. Sir!

Simp. Yes, my little full length-in a pepper and salt. coat, striped waistcoat, and drab-colour small-clothes, and continuations.

Mrs. F. [To Mrs. Bromley.] My dear, the man's mad!

mp. As to the letters you say have passed between

rs. F. With dignity.] This is too much; I should rgetting the respect I owe myself, were I to remain her moment here.

rs. B. [Taking her hand.] For my sake, Marianne

an instant

Enter BROMLEY, L.

imp. Now, Charles, follow my example and confessyour only hope.

Brom. [Alarmed.] Confess! What?

Simp. Confession and repentance are the order of the . Acknowledge, that, but for your example, I never uld have gone astray.

Brom. [Aside.] Am 1, too, detected, then!

Simp. Acknowledge that your wicked counsels first erverted my innocent heart; that you are accountable r all my peccadilloes, as you call them.

Brom. [Agitated.] Each for himself, sir, if you please. Mrs. B. Fie on you, Mr. Simpson.-First calumniate my friend, and next accuse my unoffending husband! Shame, shame, Mr. Simpson.

Mrs. S. Your attempts at evasion will avail you nohing; it is not with Mr. Bromley, but with you, sir— Simp. 'Tis all one-we are partners; and our pleasures and our plagues ought to be in common. [Observing the serious countenances of the others.] Lord help me ' should they be in earnest, after all!

Enter a SERVANT, L., who whispers Mrs. Bromley.

Mrs. B. Instantly.-[To Mrs. Fitzallan.] A good opportunity to humiliate Mr. Simpson. I have been sitting for my miniature unknown to Charles; the painter has just sent it; I'll take this occasion of presenting it to him. Do but wait my return, and this affair shall be explained to your satisfaction.-[To Simpson.] Ah! Mr. Simpson, 1 never thought you capable of such doings. [Exit, L. Brom. Was it your intention to insult me, Mr. Simpson, by your ridiculous accusations?

Simp. Sir, I

Mrs. F. Is it your pleasure. Mr. Simpson, to surrender
Mysteriously,] the object in question?

Simp. Madam, madam, I assure you--

Mrs. S. 'Tis a clear case, Mr. Simpson: I shall now leave the affair with my relatives.

Simp. 'Tis a clear case there is a plot among you to drive me wild, and—

Fos. Mr. Simpson.

Enter FOSTER, r.

Simp. Well, Foster, what the devil do you want? Fos. Mr. Tradely, sir, has called to receive back his securities.

Simp. Mr. Bromley has them.

Brom. I left them with you when I went out this morning.

Simp. True. [Takes out Bromley's pocket-book; Mrs. Simpson regards it with looks of rage.] Here they are, Foster; take a receipt for them. Here, Bromley, take your pocket-book. (Exit Foster, R. Mrs. S. [Snatches it from him.] His pocket-book ?--Bromley's?

Simp. Yes and what then?

Mrs. S. Really, the book is not yours ?

Simp. And what if it were? but 'tis Bromley's, I tell

you.

Mrs. S. [Running into his arms.] My dear, dear, dear little husband: this is the happiest moment of my life. Mrs. F. [Aside.] 'Tis as I suspected.

Simp. Then you were but jesting with me, after all! Mrs. S. [To Mrs. Fitzallan.] Oh, ma'am, I scarcely know how to apologise to you; but the circumstances, I trust, will be sufficient to-[Running again to Simpson.] My poor, poor, dear injured little Simpson!

Simp. Zounds! but this is as much & puzzle to me as t'other.

Brom. [Aside.] I perceive the mistake, and 'tis all over with me.

Mrs. F. [Aside.] Poor Mrs. Bromley!

Mrs. S. And can you pardon me all the torments I have inflicted on you?

Simp. Why, you have laid it on pretty thick, my dear, that's certain; but what has all this war been about?

Mrs. S. [Returns the pocket-book to Bromley.] Just let

turn Mr. Bromley his property. 'Tis an elegant -ook, indeed; I commend your taste, sir.

m. [Embarrassed.] Oh, ma'am -'tis nothing-'tis e-extremely simple.

s. S. Certainly, it requires a careful examination to ver all the beauties it contains.

s. F. [Severely, and with emphasis.] Mr. Bromley been at unwarrantable pains in procuring its orna

s.

mp. Wel, there's no accounting for tastes; but it s to me that there's nothing very extraordinary in a Morocco case with a gold clasp.

rs. S. My love, we must not always judge by the rior.

imp. [Mocking her.] By the exterior! Are they bening their riddles again?

Brom. Alas! my dear friend, to me it is none; I comhend it but too well.-[To Mrs. Fitzallan.] But to , madam, how shall I address myself? I confess that, known to you, I dared to procure a copy of your por t; and my indiscretion

Mrs. F. [As she takes the book from him, which he prets.] The offence, Mr. Bromley, might warrant a harsh

term.

Simp. Ha! a thought strikes me.-Allow me, ma'am, ask whether or not you reside in Harley street? Mrs. F. I do, sir.

Simp. Mahogany door, gorgon's-head knocker, five eps, lamp with reflectors, and sixty-four spikes in the on railing?

Mrs. F. You have been very minute, sir, in your ob ervations.

Simp. I had plenty of time to take an exact account, I ssure you, I having twice enjoyed the honour, madam, of standing sentry at your door, waiting for this gentleman, and shivering in the wind, like the sails in the seaSong.-To Bromley, half angry.] And am I, for ever, sir, to be the victim of your irregularities? 'Twas the same thing at school, ladies; if an orchard was robbed, suspicion was sure to light on me; and while Mr. Inno cence, there, was quietly devouring the fruit, I was receiving the punishment.