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N° 170 Friday, September 14, 1711.
In amore hæc omnia infunt vitia: injuriæ,
Ter. Eun. A&t 1. Sc. 1.
All these Inconveniences are incident to Love: Reproaches,
PON looking over the Letters of my female Correfpondents, I find feveral from Women complaining of Jealous Hufbands, and at the fame time protefting their own Innocence; and defiring my Advice on this Occafion. I fhall therefore take this Subject into my Confideration; and the more willingly, because I find that the Marquis of Hallifax, who, in his Advice to a Daughter, has inftructed a Wife how to behave herself towards a false, an intemperate, a cholerick, a fullen, a covetous, or a filly Husband, has not spoken one Word of a Jealous Husband.
JEALOUSY is that Pain which a Man feels from the Apprehenfion that he is not equally beloved by the Perfon
whom he intirely loves. Now because our inward Paffions and Inclinations can never make themselves visible, it is impoffible for a jealous Man to be thoroughly cured of his Sufpicions. His Thoughts hang at beft in a State of Doubtfulness and Uncertainty; and are never capable of receiving any Satisfaction on the advantageous Side; fo that his Inquiries are moft fuccefsful when they discover nothing. His Pleafure arifes from his Difappointments, and his Life is spent in pursuit of a Secret that deftroys his Happiness if he chance to find it.
AN ardent Love is always a ftrong Ingredient in this Paffion; for the fame Affection which ftirs up the jealous Man's Defires, and gives the Party beloved fo beautiful a Figure in his Imagination, makes him believe the kindles the fame Paffion in others, and appears as amiable to all Beholders. And as Jealoufy thus arifes from an extraordinary Love, it is of fo delicate a Nature, that it scorns to take up with any thing less than an equal Return of Love. Not the warmest Expreffions of Affection, the foftest and moft tender Hypocrify, are able to give any Satisfaction, where we are not perfuaded that the Affection is real and the Satisfaction mutual. For the jealous Man wishes himfelf a kind of Deity to the Perfon he loves: He would be the only Pleasure of her Senfes, the Employment of her Thoughts; and is angry at every thing the admires, or takes Delight in, befides himself.
PHÆDRIA's Requeft to his Miftrefs, upon his leaving her for three Days is inimitably beautiful and natural.
Cum milite ifto præfens, abfens ut fies: Dies noctefque me ames: me defideres: Me fomnies: me expectes: de me cogites: Me fperes: me te oblectes: mecum tota fis: Meus fac fis pofiremò animus, quando ego fum tuus. Ter. Eun. A& 1. Sc. 2. "When you are in company with that Soldier, behave 18 as if you were abfent: but continue to love me by Day and by Night: want me; dream of me; expect me ; "think of me; with for me; delight in me: be wholly with me: in short, be my very Soal, as I am yours.
THE jealous Man's Difeafe is of fo malignant a Nature, that it converts all it takes into its own Nourishment. A cool Behaviour fets him on the Rack, and is interpreted as an inftance of Averfion or Indifference; a fond one raises his Sufpicions, and looks too much like Diffimulation and Artifice. If the Perfon he loves be chearful, her Thoughts must be employed on another; and if fad, fhe is certainly thinking on himself. In fhort, there is no Word or Gesture fo infignificant, but it gives him new Hints, feeds his Sufpicions, and furnishes him with fresh Matters of Discovery: So that if we confider the Effects of this Paffion, one would rather think it proceeded from an inveterate Hatred, than an exceffive Love; for certainly none can meet with more Disquietude and Uneafinefs than a fufpected Wife, if we except the jealous Hufband.
BUT the great Unhappiness of this Paffion is, that it naturally tends to alienate the Affection which it is fo folicitous to ingrofs; and that for these two Reasons, because it lays too great a Conftraint on the Words and Actions of the fufpected Perfon, and at the fame time fhews you have no honourable Opinion of her; both of which are ftrong Motives to Averfion.
NOR is this the worst Effect of Jealoufy; for it often draws after it a more fatal Train of Confequences, and makes the Perfon you fufpect guilty of the very Crimes you are so much afraid of. It is very natural for fuch who are treated ill and upbraided falfly, to find out an intimate Friend that will hear their Complaints, condole their Sufferings, and endeavour to footh and affuage their fecret Refentments. Befides, Jealoufy puts a Woman often in mind of an ill Thing that the would not otherwise perhaps have thought of, and fills her Imagination with fuch an unlucky Idea, as in time grows familiar, excites Defire, and lofes all the Shame and Horror which might at first attend it. Nor is it a Wonder if she who fuffers wrongfully in a Man's Opinion of her, and has therefore nothing to forfeit in his Efteem, refolves to give him reafon for his Sufpicions, and to enjoy the Pleasure of the Crime, fince the muft undergo the Ignominy. Such probably were the Confiderations that directed the wife Man in his Advice to Husbands; Be not jealous over the Wife
of thy Bofom, and teach her not an evil Leffon against thyJelf. Ecclus.
AND here, among the other Torments which this Paffion produces, we may ufually obferve that none are greater Mourners than jealous Men, when the Perfon who provoked their Jealoufy is taken from them. Then it is that their Love breaks out furiously, and throws off all the Mixtures of Sufpicion which choked and fmothered it before. The beautiful Parts of the Character rife uppermoft in the jealous Hufband's Memory, and upbraid him with the ill ufage of fo divine a Creature as was once in his Poffeffion; whilft all the little Imperfections, that were before fo uneafy to him, wear off from his Remembrance, and fhew themselves no
WE may fee by what has been faid, that Jealousy takes the deepest Root in Men of amorous Difpofitions; and of these we may find three Kinds who are most overrun with it.
THE first are thofe who are confcious to themselves of an Infirmity, whether it be Weakness, Old Age, De formity, Ignorance, or the like. These Men are fo well acquainted with the unamiable Part of themselves, that they have not the Confidence to think they are really be loved; and are so distrustful of their own Merits, that all Fondness towards them puts them out of Countenance, and looks like a Jeft upon their Perfons. They grow fufpicious on their firft looking in a Glafs, and are ftung with Jealoufy at the fight of a Wrinkle. A handfom Fellow immediately alarms them, and every thing that looks young or gay turns their Thoughts upon their Wives.
A Second Sort of Men, who are most liable to this Paffion, are thofe of cunning, wary, and diftrustful Tempers. It is a Fault very juftly found in Hiftories compofed by Politicians, that they leave nothing to Chance or Humour, but are still for deriving every Action from fome Plot and Contrivance, for drawing up a perpetual Scheme of Caufes and Events, and preferving a conftant Correfpondence between the Camp and the Council-Table. And thus it happens in the Affairs of Love with Men of too refined a Thought. They put a Construction on a Look, and
and find out a Defign in a Smile; they give new Senfes and Significations to Words and Actions; and are ever tormenting themselves with Fancies of their own raifing. They generally act in a Disguise themselves, and therefore mistake all outward Shows and Appearances for Hypocrify in others; fo that I believe no Men fee lefs of the Truth and Reality of Things, than these great Refiners upon Incidents, who are fo wonderfully fubtle and overwife in their Conceptions.
NOW what thefe Men fancy they know of Women by Reflexion, your lewd and vicious Men believe they have learned by Experience. They have feen the poor Hufband fo mifled by Tricks and Artifices, and in the midft of his Inquiries fo loft and bewilder'd in a crooked Intrigue, that they ftill fufpect an Under-Plot in every female Action; and especially where they fee any Refemblance in the Behaviour of two Perfons, are apt to fancy it proceeds from the fame Defign in both. Thefe Men therefore bear hard upon the fufpected Party, purfue her clofe through all her Turnings and Windings, and are too well acquainted with the Chace, to be flung off by any falfe Steps or Doubles: Befides, their Acquaintance and Converfation has lain wholly among the vicious Part of Womankind, and therefore it is no Wonder they cenfure all alike, and look upon the whole Sex as a Species of Impoftors. But if, notwithstanding their private Experience, they can get over thefe Prejudices, and entertain a favourable Opinion of fome Women; yet their own loofe Defires will ftir up new Sufpicions from another Side, and make them believe all Men subject to the fame Inclinations with themfelves.
WHETHER these or other Motives are moft predominant, we learn from the modern Hiftories of America, as well as from our own Experience in this Part of the World, that Jealoufy is no Northern Paffion, but rages moft in thofe Nations that lie neareft the Influence of the Sun. It is a Misfortune for a Woman to be born between the Tropicks; for there lie the hottest Regions of Jealoufy, which as you come Northward cools all along with the Climate, till you fcarce meet with any thing like it in the Polar Circle. Our own Nation is very temperately fituated in this respect; and if we meet with fome few dif