common, though, I think, never yet under your teen I was removed to the university, where I censure. It is, Sir, the strange freedoms some lived, out of my father's great discretion, in ill-bred married people take in company; the scandalous poverty and want, till 1 was big unseasonable fondness of some husbands, and enough to be married, and I was sent for to the ill-timed tenderness of some wives. They see the lady who sends you the underwritten. talk and act as if modesty was only fit for When we were put together, we both considmaids and bachelors, and that too beforeb oth. ered that we could not be worse than we were I was once, Mr. Spectator, where the fault I in taking one another, and, out of a desire of speak of was so very flagrant, that (being, you liberty, entered into wedlock. My father says must know, a very bashful fellow, and several I am now a man, and may speak to him like young ladies in the room) I protest I was quite another gentleman. out of countenance. Lucina, it seems, was breeding; and she did nothing but entertain the company with a discourse upon the difficulty of reckoning to a day, and said she knew those who were certain to an hour; then fell 'I am, Sir, 'Your most humble servant, MR. SPEC, 'I grew tall and wild at my mother's, who a laughing at a silly inexperienced creature, is a gay widow, and did not care for showing who was a month above her time. Upon her me, till about two years and a half ago; at husband's coming in, she put several questions which time my guardian-uncle sent me to a to him; which he not caring to resolve, "Well," boarding-school, with orders to contradict me in nothing, for I had been misused enough aleries Lucina," I shall have'emall at night."But lest I should seem guilty of the very fault I write against, I shall only entreat Mr. Spec tator to correct such misdemeanors. I had not been there above a month ready, clean ones. I HAVE lately been casting in my thoughts the several unhappinesses of life, and comparing the infelicities of old age to those of infancy. to licking of chalk: I was soon tired of this. The calamities of children are due to the neg- I then nibbled all the red wax of our last ballligence and misconduct of parents; those of tickets, and, three weeks after, the black wax age to the past life which led to it. I have here from the burying-tickets of the old gentleman. the history of a boy and a girl to their wedding-Two months after this I lived upon thunderday, and I think I cannot give the reader a bolts, a certain long round bluish stone which livelier image of the insipid way in which time I found among the gravel in our garden. I uncultivated passes, than by entertaining him was wonderfully delighted with this; buc with their authentic epistles, expressing all thunder-bolts growing scarce, I fastened tooth that was remarkable in their lives, till the pe- and nail upon our garden-wall, which I stuck riod of their life above-montioned. The sen- to almost a twelvemonth, and had in that time tence at the head of this paper, which is only peeled and devoured half a foot towards our I now thought myself the a warm interrogation, 'What is there in nature neighbour's yard. so dear as a man's own children to him?' is all happiest creature in the world; and I believe, the reflection I shall at present make on those in my conscience, I had eaten quite through, who are negligent or cruel in the education of had I had it in my chamber; but now I became them. MR. SPECTATOR, lazy and unwilling to stir, and was obliged to seek food nearer home. I then took a strange hankering to coals; I fell to scranching 'em, 'I am now entering into my one and twen-' and had already consumed, I am certain, as tieth year, and do not know that I had one much as would have dressed my weddingday's thorough satisfaction since I came to dinner, when my uncle came for me home. years of any reflection, till the time they say He was in the parlour with my governess, when others lose their liberty-the day of my mar- I was called down. I went in, fell on my knees, raige. I am son to a gentleman of a very great for he made me call him father; and when Iestate, who resolved to keep me out of the vices expected the blessing I asked, the good genof the age; and, in order to it, never let me tleman, in a surprise, turns himself to my gosee any thing that he thought could give me verness, and asks, "whether this (pointing to any pleasure. At ten years old I was put to a me) was his daughter? "This, added he, "is grammar-school, where my master received the very picture of death. My child was a orders every post to use me severely, and have plump-faced, hale, fresh-coloured girl; but this no regard to my having a great estate. At fif-looks as if she was half-starved, a mere skele "It is a matter of wonder to reflect how far men of weak understanding, and strong fancy, are hurried by their prejudices, even to the believing that the whole body of the adverse party are a band of villains and dæmons. Foreigners complain that the English are the proudest nation under heaven. Perhaps they too have their share: but be that as it will, general charges against bodies of men is the fault I am writing against. It must be owned, to our shame, that our common people, and most who have not travelled, have an irrational contempt for the language, dress, customs, and even the shape and minds of other nations. Some men, otherwise of sense, have wondered that a great genius should spring out of Ireland; and think you mad in affirming that fine odes have been written in Lapland. ton." My governèss, who is really a good mies, the dwarfs and 'squires who carry the woman, assured my father I had wanted for impresses of the giants or knights, not born to nothing; and withal told him I was conti- fight themselves, but to prepare the way for nually eating some trash or other, and that I the ensuing combat. was almost eaten up with the green-sickness, her orders being never to cross me. But this magnified but little with my father, who presently, in a kind of pet, paying for my board, took me home with him. I had not been long at home, but one Sunday at church (I shall never forget it) I saw a young neighbouring gentleman that pleased me hugely; I liked him of all men I ever saw in my life, and began to wish I could be as pleasing to him. The very next day he came, with his father, a visiting to our house: we were left alone together, with directions on both sides to be in love with one another; and in three weeks time we were married. I regained my former health and complexion, and am now as happy as the day is long. Now, Mr. Spec, I desire you would find out some name for these craving damsels, whether dignified or distinguished under some or all of the following denominations; to wit, "This spirit of rivalship, which heretofore "Trash-eaters, Oatmeal-chewers, Pipe-champ-reigned in the two universities, is extinct, and ers, Chalk-lickers, Wax-nibblers, Coal-scranch- almost over betwixt college and college. In ers, Wall-peelers, or Gravel-diggers ;" and, parishes and schools, the thirst of glory still good sir, do your utmost endeavour to prevent obtains. At the seasons of foot-ball and (by exposing) this unaccountable folly, so pre-cock-fighting, those little republics reassume vailing among the young ones of our sex, who their national hatred to each other. My tenmay not meet with such sudden good luck as,ant in the cou try is verily persuaded, that Sir, your constant reader, T. 'and very humble servant, 'Now SABINA RENTFREE. the parish of the enemy hath not one honest man in it. "I always hated satires against women, and satires against men: I am apt to suspect a stranger who laughs at the religion of the faculty: my spleen rises at a dull rogue, who is severe upon mayors and aldermen; and I was never better pleased than with a piece of jus.ice executed upon the body of a Templar who was very arch upon parsons. "The necessities of mankind require various employments; and whoever excels in his province is worthy of praise. All men are not educated after the same manner, nor have all the same talents. Those who are deficient deserve our compassion, and have a title to our assistance. All cannot be bred in the same place; but in all places there arise, at different times, such persons as do honour to their society, which may raise envy in little souls, but are admired and cherished by ge "Man is a sociable creature, and a lover of glory; whence it is, that when several persons are united in the same society, they are studious to lessen the reputation of others, in or-nerous spirits. der to raise their own. The wise are content "It is certainly a great happiness to be eduto guide the springs in silence, and rejoice in cated in societies of great and eminent men. secret at their regular progress. To prate Their instructions and examples are of extraand triumph is the part allotted to the tri- ordinary advantage. It is highly proper to infling and superficial. The geese were provi-stil such a reverence of the governing persons, dentially ordained to save the Capitol. Hence and concern for the honour of the place, as it is, that the invention of marks and devices to may spur the growing members to worthy distinguish parties is owing to the beaus and pursuits and honest emulation; but to swell belles of this island. Hats, moulded into young minds with vain thoughts of the dignity different cocks and pinches, have long bid of their own brotherhood, by debasing and vi mutual defiance; patches have been set lifying all others, doth them a real injury. By against patches in battle array stocks have risen and fallen in proportion to head-dresses; and peace or war been expected, as the white or the red hood hath prevailed. These are the standard-bearers in our contending ar this means I have found that their efforts have become languid, and their prattle irksome, as thinking it sufficient praise that they are children of so illustrious and ample a family. I should think it a surer as well as more gene Perlege Mæonio cantatas carmine ranas, Mart. Epig. clxxxiii. 14. rous method, to set before the eyes of youth | No. 433.] Thursday, July 17, 1712. such persons as have made a noble progress in fraternities less talked of; which seems tacitly to reproach their sloth who loll so heavily in the seats of mighty improvement. To banish anxious thought, and quiet pain, Active spirits hereby would enlarge their Read Homer's frogs, or my more trifling strain. notions; whereas, by a servile imitation of THE moral world, as consisting of males and one, or perhaps two, admired men, in their own body, they can only gain a secondary females, is of a mixed nature, and filled with several customs, fashions, and ceremonies, and derivative kind of fame. These copiers which would have no place in it were there of men, like those of authors or painters, run but one sex. Had our species no females in it, into affectations of some oddness, which per-men would be quite different creatures from haps was not disagreeable in the original, transcriber. natural to them, and often sets them upon but sits ungracefully on the narrow-souled what they are at present: their endeavours to please the opposite sex polishes and refines "By such early corrections of vanity, while them out of those manners which are most boys are growing into men, they will gradually learn not to censure superficially; butim-modelling themselves, not according to the bibe those principles of general kindness and plans which they approve in their own opinions, but according to those plans which they humanity, which alone can make them easy think are most agreeable to the female world. themselves, and beloved by others. In a word, man would not only be an unhappy, but a rude unfinished creature, were to he conversant with none but those of his own make. "Reflections of this nature have expunged all prejudice out of my heart; insomuch, that though I am a firm protestant, I hope to see the pope and cardinals without violent emoWomen, on the other side, are apt to form tions; and though I am naturally grave, I ex-themselves in every thing with regard to that pect to meet good company at Paris. "I am, Sir, "Your humble servant." 'MR. SPECTATOR, other half of reasonable creatures with whom they are here blended and confused: their thoughts are ever turned upon appearing amiable to the other sex; they talk, and move, and There 'I find you are a general undertaker, and smile, with a design upon us; every feature of their faces, every part of their dress, is have, by your correspondents or self, an in-filled with snares and allurements. sight into most things; which makes me ap- would be no such animals as prudes or coply myself to you at present, in the sorest ca-quettes in the world, were there not such an lamity that ever befel man. My wife has animal as man. In short, it is the male that taken something ill of me, and has not spoke gives charms to women-kind, that produces an one word, good or bad, to me, or any body air in their faces, a grace in their motions, a in the family, since Friday was seven-night. softness in their voices, and a delicacy in their What must a man do in that case? Your adcomplexion. vice would be a great obligation to, Sir, 'Your most humble servant, 2 MR. SPECTATOR, 'Your humble servant, DEAR OLIVIA, As this mutual regard between the two sexes tends to the improvement of each of them, we may observe that men are apt to degenerate into rough and brutal natures who live as if there were no such things as women in the world; as, on the contrary, women who have an indifference or aversion for their counterparts in human nature are generally sour and unamiable, sluttish and censorious. I am led into this train of thoughts by a little manuscript which is lately fallen into my hands, and which I shall communicate to the reader, as I have done some other curious pieces of "It is but this moment I have had the hap- the same nature without troubling him with piness of knowing to whom I am obliged for any inquiries about the author of it It conthe present I received the second of April. Itains a summary account of two different states am heartily sorry it did not come to hand the which bordered upon one another. The one day before; for I cannot but think it very hard was a commonwealth of Amazons, or women upon people to loose their jest, that offer at without men; the other was a republic of one but once a-year. I congratulate myself males, that had not a woman in their whole however upon the earnest given me of some- community. As these two states bordered upon thing further intended in my favour; for I one another, it was their way, it seems, to meet am told that the man who is thought worthy upon their frontiers at a certain season of the by a lady to make a fool of, stands fair enough in her opinion to become one day her husband. Till such a time as I have the honour of being sworn, I take leave to subscribe myself, year, where those among the men who had not made their choice in any former meeting, associated themselves with particular women, whom they were afterwards obliged to look upon as their wives in every one of these yearly rencounters. The children that sprung up from this alliance, if males, were sent to their re spective fathers; if females, continued with their mothers. By means of this anniversary carnival, which lasted about a week, the commonwealths were recruited from time to time, and supplied with their respective subjects. Such to the field Penthesilea led, These two states were engaged together in a perpetual league, offensive and defensive; so HAVING carefully perused the manuscript I that if any foreign potentate offered to attack mentioned in my yesterday's paper, so far as either of them, both of the sexes fell upon him it relates to the republic of women, I find in it at once, and quickly brought him to reason. It several particulars which may very well dewas remarkable that for many ages this agree-serve the reader's attention. ment continued inviolable between the two The girls of quality, from six to twelve years states, notwithstanding, as was said before, old, were put to public schools where they they were husbands and wives; but this will learned to box and play at cudgels, with sevenot appear so wonderful, if we consider that ral other accomplishments of the same nature; they did not live together above a week in so that nothing was more usual than to see a a year, little miss returning home at night with a broIn the account which my author gives of the ken pate, or two or three teeth knocked out of male republic, there were several customs very her head. They were afterwards taught to The men never shaved their ride the great horse, to shoot, dart or sling, beards, or paired their nails, above once in a and listed into several companies, in order to twelvemonth, which was probably about the perfect themselves in military exercises. No time of the great annual meeting upon their woman was to be married till she had killed frontiers. I find the name of a minister of her man. The ladies of fashion used to play state in one part of their history, who was fined with young lions instead of lap-dogs; and when for appearing too frequently in clean linen; they made any parties of diversion, instead of and of a certain great general, who was turn-entertaining themselves at ombre and piquet, ed out of his post for effeminancy, it having they would wrestle and pitch the bar for a been proved upon him by several credible whole afternoon together. There was never witnesses that he washed his face evey morn-any such thing as a blush seen, or a sigh heard, ing. If any member of the commonwealth had in the whole commonwealth. The women remarkable. a soft voice, a smooth face, or a supple beha-never dressed but to look terrible; to which viour, he was banished into the commonwealth end they would sometimes, after a battle, paint of females, where he was treated as a slave, their cheeks with the blood of their enemies. dressed in petticoats, and set a spinning. They For this reason, likewise, the face which had had no titles of honour among them, but such the most scars was looked upon as the most as denoted some bodily strength or perfection, beautiful. If they found lace, jewels, ribands, as such an one the tall,' such an one 'the or any ornaments in silver or gold, among the stocky,' such an one 'the gruff.' Their public booty which they had taken, they used to dress debates were generally managed with kicks their horses with it, but never entertained a and kuffs, insomuch that they often came from thought of wearing it themselves. There the council-table with broken shins, black eyes, were particular rights and privileges allowed and bloody noses. When they would reproach to any member of the commonwealth who was a man in the most bitter terms, they would a mother of three daughters. The senate was tell him his teeth were white, or that he had made up of old women, for by the laws of the à fair skin and a soft hand. The greatest man country, none was to be a counsellor of state I meet with in their history, was one who could that was not past child-bearing. They used lift five hundred weight, and wore such a pro- to boast that their republic had continued four digious pair of whiskers as had never been thousand years, which is altogether improbaseen in the commonwealth before his time. ble, unless we may suppose, what I am very These accomplishments, it seems, had render- apt to think, that they measured their time by ed him so popular, that if he had not died ve- lunar years. ry seasonably, it is thought he might have en- There was a great revolution brought about slaved the republic. Having made this short in this female republic by means of a neighextract out of the history of the male common-bouring king, who had made war upon them wealth, I shall look into the history of the neighbouring state, which consisted of females; and, if I find any thing in it, will not fail to communicate it to the public. C. No. 434.] Friday, July 18, 1712. Quales Threïciæ, cùm flumina Thermodoontis So march'd the Thracian Amazons of old, several years with various success, and at length overthrew them in a very great battle. This defeat they ascribe to several causes: some say that the secretary of state, having been troubled with the vapours, had commit ted some fatal mistakes in several dispatches about that time. Others pretend that the first minister being big with child, could not attend the public affairs, as so great an exigency of state required; but this I can give no manner of credit to, since it seems to contradict a fundamental maxim in their government, which I have before mentioned. My author gives the most probable reason of this great disaster: for he affirms that the general was brought to bed, or (as others say) miscarried, the very night before the battle: however it was, this | No. 435.] Saturday, July 19, 1712. Nec duo sunt, et forma duplex, nec fæmina dici, The campaigns which both sexes passed together made them so well acquainted with one another, that at the end of the war they did not care for parting. In the beginning of it they lodged in separate camps, but afterwards, as they grew more familiar, they pitched their tents promiscuously. Addison. Both bodies in a single body mix, A single body with a double sex. Most of the papers I gave the public are written on subjects that never vary, but are for ever fixt and immutable. Of this kind are all my more serious essays and discourses; but there is another sort of speculations, which I considder as occasional papers, that take their rise from the folly, extravagance, and caprice of the present age. For I look upon From this time, the armies being checkered myself as one set to watch the manners and with both sexes, they polished apace. The behaviour of my countrymen and cotemporamen used to invite their fellow soldiers into ries, and to mark down every absurd fashion, their quarters, and would dress their tents ridiculous custom, or affected form of speech, with flowers and boughs for their reception. that makes its appearance in the world during If they chanced to like one more than another, the course of my speculations. The petticoat they would be cutting her name in the table, no sooner began to swell, but I observed its or chalking out her figure upon a wall, or talk- motions. The party-patches had not time to ing of her in a kind of rapturous language, muster themselves before I detected them. I which by degrees improved into verse and had intelligence of the coloured hood the very These were as the first rudiments of first time it appeared in a public assembly. I architecture, painting, and poetry, among this might here mention several other the like consavage people. After any advantage over the enemy, both sexes used to jump together, and ed distinct papers. By this means I have so tingent subjects, upon which I have bestowmake a clattering with their swords and effectually quashed these irregularities which shields, for joy, which in a few years produ- gave occasion to them, that I am afraid posced several regular tunes and set dances. As the two armies romped together upon to relish those discourses which were in no litterity will scarce have a sufficient idea of them these occasions, the women complained of the tle vogue at the time they were written. thick bushy beards and long nails of their confederates, who thereupon took care to prune customs I attacked were some fantastic conThey will be apt to think that the fashions and themselves into such figures as were most plea-ceits of my own, and that their great grandsing to their friends and allies. mothers could not be so whimsicle as I have When they had taken any spoils from the represented them For this reason, when I enemy, the men would make a present of eve-think on the figure my several volumes of ry thing that was rich and showy to the wo-speculations will make about a hundred years men whom they most admired, and would fre- hence, I consider them as so many pieces of quently dress the necks, or heads, or arms, of old plate, where the weight will be regarded, their mistresses, with any thing which they but the fashion lost. sonnet. thought appeared gay or pretty. The women Among the several female extravagancies I observing that the men took delight in look- have already taken notice of, there is one which ing upon them when they were adorned with still keeps its ground. I mean that of the ladies such trappings and gewgaws, set their heads who dress themselves in a hat and feather, a at work to find out new inventions, and to out-riding coat and a periwig, or at least tie up shine one another in all councils of war, or the their hair in a bag or riband, in imitation of like solemn meetings. On the other hand, the the smart part of the opposite sex. As in my men observing how the women's hearts were yesterday's paper I gave an account of the set upon finery, began to embellish themselves, mixture of two sexes in one commonwealth, I and look as agreeably as they could in the shall here take notice of this mixture of two eyes of their associates. In short, after a few sexes in one person. I have already shown years' conversing together, the women had my dislike of this immodest custom more learned to smile, and the men to ogle; the women grew soft, and the men lively. than once; but, in contempt of every thing I have hitherto said, I am informed that the highways about this great city are still very much infested with these female cavaliers. When they had thus insensibly formed one another, upon finishing of the war, which concluded with an entire conquest of their comI remember when I was at my friend Sir mon enemy, the colonels in one army mar- Roger de Coverly's, about this time twelveried the colonels in the other; the captains in month, an equestrian lady of this order apthe same manner took the captains to their peared upon the plains which lay at a distance wives: the whole body of common soldiers from his house. I was at that time walking in the were matched after the example of their lead- fields with my old friend; and as his tenants ers. By this means the two republics incorpo- ran out on every side to see so strange a sight, rated with one another, and became the most Sir Roger asked one of them, who came by us, flourishing and polite government in the part what it was? To which the country fellow of the world which they inhabited. C. replied, 'Tis a gentlewoman, saving your worship's presence, in a coat and hat." This |