'The Petition of E. H. Esq. 6 HUMBLY SHOWETH, would not have been lost, if such an one had | length, which I recommend to my reader as a not been upon the bench; nor a profligate very valuable piece. youth disinherited, if he had not got drunk every night by toasting an outed ministry. I remember a tory, who, having been fined in a conrt of justice for a prank that deserved the pillory, desired upon the merit of it to be made a justice of the peace when his friends came into power; and shall never forget a whig criminal, who, upon being indicted for a rape, told his friends You see what a man suffers for sticking to his principles.' The truth of it is, the sufferings of a man in When a party are of a very doubtful nature. they are such as have promoted a good cause, and fallen upon a man undeservedly, they have a right to be heard and recompensed beyond any other pretensions. But when they rise out of rashness or indiscretion, and the pursuit of such measures as have rather ruined than promoted the interest they aim at, which hath always been the case of many great sufferers, they only serve to recommend them to the children of violence or folly I have by me a bundle of memorials presented by several cavaliers upon the restoration of king Charles II. which may serve as so many instances to our present purpose. That your petitioner's father's brother's uncle, colonel W. H. lost the third finger of his left hand at Edgehill fight. 6 That your petioner, notwithstanding the smallness of his fortune (he being a younger brother,) always kept hospitality, and drank confusion to the roundheads in half a score bumpers every Sunday in the year, as several honest gentlemen (whose names are underwritten) are ready to testify. That your petitioner is remarkable in his country, for having dared to treat Sir P. P. a cursed sequestrator, and three members of the assembly of divines, with brawn and minced pies upon new-year's day. 'That your said humble petitioner hath been five times imprisoned in five several countygaols, for having been a ringleader in five different riots; into which his zeal for the royal cause hurried him, when men of greater estates had not the courage to rise. That he, the said E. H. hath had six duels Among several persons and pretensions re- and four-and-twenty boxing matches in defence corded by my author, he mentions one of a ve-of his majesty's title; and that he received ry great estate, who, for having roasted an such a blow upon the head at a bonfire in ox whole, and distributed a hogshead upon Stratford-upon-Avon, as he hath been never king Charles's birth-day, desired to be provid- the better for from that day to this. ed for as his majesty in his great wisdom should think fit. Another put in to be prince Henry's governor, for having dared to drink his health in the worst of times. green. 'That your petitioner hath been so far from improving his fortune, in the late damnable times, that he verily believes, and hath good reason to imagine, that if he had been master of an estate, he had infallibly been plundered and sequestered. A third petitioned for a colonel's commis'Your petitioner, in consideration of his said sion, for having cursed Oliver Cromwell, the day before his death, on a public bowling-merits and sufferings, humbly requests that he may have the place of receiver of the taxes, colBut the most whimsical petition I have met lector of the customs, clerk of the peace, dewith is that of B, B. esq. who desired the ho-puty lieutenant, or whatsoever else he shall be And your petitioner nour of knighthood, for having cuckolded Sir thought qualified for. shall ever pray, &c.' T. W. a notorious roundhead. Wednesday, December 8, 1714. Favete linguis. There is likewise the petition of one who, having let his beard grow from the martyrdom No. 630.] of king Charles the first, until the restoration of king Charles the second, desired in consideration thereupon to be made a privy-counsellor. With mute attention wait. letters: Hor. Od. i. Lib. 3.2. I must not omit a memorial setting forrh HAVING no spare time to write any thing of that the memorialist had, with great despatch, my own, or to correct what is sent me by othcarried a letter from a certain lord to a certain ers, I have thought fit to publish the following lord, wherein, as it afterwards appeared, measures were concerted for the restoration, and without which he verily believes that happy revolution had never been effected; who thereupon humbly prays to be made post-master general. 6 SIR, Oxford, Nov. 22. 'If you would be so kind to me, as to suspend that satisfaction which the learned world must receive in reading one of your speculations, by A certain gentleman, who seems to write publishing this endeavour, you will very much with a great deal of spirit, and uses the words oblige and improve one, who has the boldness gallantry and gentleman-like very often in his to hope that he may be admitted into the numpetition, begs that (in considerasion of his hav-ber of your correspondents. ing worn his hat for ten years past in the loyal 'I have often wondered to hear men of good cavalier-cock, to his great danger and detri- sense and good-nature profess a dislike to mument) he may be made a captain of the guards. sic, when at the same time they do not scruple I shall close my account of this collection of to own that it has the most agreeable and immemorials with the copy of one petition at proving influences over their minds : it seems to me an unhappy contradiction, that those performance of that great duty of thanksgiv persons should have an indifference for an art ing, which, as we are informed by our Alwhich raises in them such a variety of sublime mighty Benefactor, is the most acceptable pleasures. return which can be made for those infinite However, though some few, by their own stores of blessings which he daily condescends or the unreasonable prejudices of others, may to pour down upon his creatures. be led into a distaste for those musical societies which are erected' merely for entertainment, yet sure I may venture to say, that no one can have the least reason for disaffection to that solemn kind of melody which consists of the praises of our Creator. When we make use of this pathetical method of addressing ourselves to him, we can scarce contain from rapture! The heart is warmed with a sublimity of goodness! We are all piety and all love! 'How do the blessed spirits rejoice and wonder to behold unthinking man prostrating his soul to his dread Sovereign in such a warmth of piety as they themselves might not be ashamed of. 'I shall close these reflections with a passage 'You have, I presume, already prevented me in an argument upon this occasion, which some divines have successfully advanced upon a much greater, that musical sacrifice and adoration has claimed a place in the laws and customs of the most different nations; as the taken out of the third book of Milton's Paradise Grecians and Romans of the profane, the Jews Lost, where those harmonious beings are thus and Christians of the sacred world, did as una-nobly described: nimously agree in this as they disagreed in all other parts of their economy. Then crowned again, their golden harps they took, MR. SPECTATOR, 'I know there are not wanting some who are of opinion that the pompous kind of music which is in use in foreign churches, is the most excellent, as it most affects our senses. But I am swayed by my judgment to the modesty which is observed in the musical part of our devotions. Methinks there is something very The town cannot be unacquainted that in laudable in the custom of a voluntary before divers parts of it there are vociferous sets of the first lesson; by this we are supposed to be men who are called. Rattling Clubs; but what prepared for the admission of those divine shocks me most is, they have now the front te truths which we are shortly to receive. We invade the church and institute those societies, are then to cast all worldly regards from off there, as a clan of them have in late times done, our hearts, all tumults within are then be- to such a degree of insolence as has given the calmed, and there should be nothing near the partition where they reside, in a church near soul but peace and tranquillity. So that in this one of the city gates, the denomination of the short office of praise the man is raised above rattling pew. These gay fellows, from humble himself, and is almost lost already amidst the lay professions, set up for critics, without any joys of futurity. tincture of letters or reading, and have the 'I have heard some nice observers frequent-vanity to think they can lay hold of something ly commend the policy of our church in this from the parson which may be formed into particular, that it leads us on by such easy ridicule. and regular methods that we are perfectly 'It is needless to observe that the gentlemen, deceived into piety. When the spirits begin who every Sunday have the hard province of to languish, (as they too often do with a con- instructing these wretches in a way they are stant series of petitions) she takes care to in no present disposition to take, have a fixed allow them a pious respite, and relieves them character for learning and eloquence, not to with the raptures of an anthem. Nor can be tainted by the weak efforts of this conwe doubt that the sublimest poetry, softened temptible part of their audiences. Whether in the most moving strains of music, can ne- the pulpit is taken by these gentlemen, or any ver fail of humbling or exalting the soul to strangers their friends, the way of the club is any pitch of devotion. Who can hear the this: if any sentiments are delivered too subterrors of the Lord of Hosts described in the lime for their conception; if any uncommon most expressive melody, without being awed topic is entered on, or one in use new modified into a veneration ? Or who can hear the with the finest judgment and dexterity; or, kind and endearing attributes of a merciful any controverted point be never so elegantly father, and not be softened into love towards handled; in short, whatever surpasses the narhim? row limits of their theology, or is not suited to 'As the rising and sinking of the passions, their taste, they are all immediately upon the the casting soft or noble hints into the soul, watch, fixing their eyes upon each other with is the natural privilege of music in general, as much warmth as our gladiators of Hockso more particularly of that kind which is em- ley-in-the-Hole, and waiting like them for a ployed at the altar. Those impressions which hit: if one touches, all take fire, and their it leaves upon the spirits are more deep and noddles instantly meet in the centre of the lasting, as the grounds from which it receives pew: then, as by beat of drum, with exact its authority are founded more upon reason. It discipline, they rear up into a full length diffuses a calmness all around us, it makes of stature, and with odd looks and gesticulaus drop all those vain or immodest thoughts tions confer together in so loud and clamorous which would be an hinderance to us in the a manner, continued to the close of the disVOL. II. 51 course, and during the after-psalm, as is not his shoulders, that it seemed not to have been to be silenced but by the bells. Nor does this combed since the year 1712; his linen, which suffice them, without aiming to propagate their was not much concealed, was daubed with noise through all the church, by signals given plain Spanish from the chin to the lowest butto the adjoining seats, where others designed ton; and the diamond upon his finger (which for this fraternity are sometimes placed upon naturally dreaded the water) put me in mind trial to receive them. how it sparkled amidst the rubbish of the mine The folly as well as rudeness of this prac- where it was first discovered. On the other tice is in nothing more conspicuous than this, hand, the pretty quaker appeared in all the that all that follows in the sermon is lost; for, elegance of cleanliness. Not a speck was to whenever our sparks take alarm, they blaze out be found upon her. A clear, clean oval and grow so tumultuous that no after-explana- face, just edged about with little thin plaits tion can avail, it being impossible for them- of the purest cambric, received great adselves or any near them to give an account vantagess from the shade of her black thereof. If any thing really novel is advanced, hood; as did the whiteness of her arms from how averse soever it may be to their way of that sober-coloured stuff in which she had thinking, to say nothing of duty, men of less clothed herself. The plainness of her dress levity than these would be led by a natural cu- was very well suited to the simplicity of her riosity to hear the whole. phrases; all which, put together, though they could not give me a great opinion of her religion, they did of her innocence. 'Laughter, where things sacred are transacted, is far less pardonable than whining at a conventicle; the last has at least a semblance of grace, and where the affectation is uuseen, may possibly imprint wholesome lessons on the sincere; but the first has no excuse, breaking through all the rules of order and decency, and manifesting a remissness of mind in those important matters which require the strictest composure and steadiness of thought: a proof of the greatest folly in the world. 'I shall not here enter upon the veneration 'Your very humble servant, No. 631.] Friday, December 10, 1714. Elegant by cleanliness Hor. Od. v. Lib. 1. 5. This adventure occasioned my throwing together a few hints upon cleanliness, which I shall consider as one of the 'half-virtues, as Aristotle calls them, and shall recommend it under the three following heads: as it is a mark of politeness; as it produces love; and as it bears analogy to purity of mind. 'First, It is a mark of politeness. It is universally agreed upon, that no one unadorned with this virtue can go into company without giving a manifest offence. The easier or higher any one's fortune is, this duty arises proportionably. The different nations of the world are as much distinguished by their cleanliness as by their arts and sciences. The more any country is civilized, the more they consult this part of politeness. We need but compare our ideas of a female Hottentot and an English beauty, to be satisfied of the truth of what hath been advanced. I might observe further, that as cleanliness renders us agreeable to others, so it makes us I HAD occasion to go a few miles out of town, easy to ourselves: that it is an excellent presome days since, in a stage-coach, where I had servative of health; and that several vices, for my fellow travellers a dirty beau, and a destructive both to mind and body, are inconpretty young quaker woman. Having no incli- sistent with the habit of it. But these reflecnation to talk much at that time, I placed my-tions I shall leave to the leisure of my reaself backward, with a design to survey them, ders, and shall observe, in the third place, and pick a speculation out of my two compa- that it bears a great analogy with purity of nions. The different figures were sufficient mind, and naturally inspires refined sentiments of themselves to draw my attention. The gen- and passions. tleman was dressed in a suit, the ground We find from experience that, through the whereof had been black, as I perceived from prevalence of custom, the most vicious acsome few spaces that had escaped the powder, tions lose their horror by being made familiar which was incorporated with the greatest part to us. On the contrary, those who live in the of his coat his periwig, which cost no small neighbourhood of good examples, fly from the gum, was after su slovenly a manner cast over first appearances of what is shocking. It fares with us much after the same manner as our he had laid down and punctually observed to ideas. Our senses, which are the inlets to all the year of his death. It was, perhaps, a the images conveyed to the mind, can only thought of the like nature whih determined transmit the impression of such things as usu- Homer himself to divide each of his poems ally surround them. So that pure and un-into as many books as there are letters in the sullied thoughts are naturally suggested to the Greek alphabet. Herodotus has in the same mind, by those objects that perpetually encom- manner adapted his books to the number of pass us when they are beautiful and elegant in the muses, for which reason many a learned their kind. man hath wished there had been more than nine of that sisterhood. In the east, where the warmth of the climate makes cleanliness more immediately necessary Several epic poets have religiously followthan in colder countries, it is made one part ed Virgil as to the number of his books and of their religion: the Jewish law, and the even Milton is thought by many to have changMahometan, which in some things copies af-ed the number of his books from ten to twelve ter. it, is filled with bathings, purifications, for no other reason; as Cowley tells us, it and other rites of the like nature. Though was his design, had he finished his Davideis, there is the above-named convenient reason to have also imitated the Æneid in this partito be assigned for these ceremonies, the chief cular. I believe every one will agree with intention undoubtedly was to typify inward me that a perfection of this nature hath no purity and cleanliness of heart by those out-foundation in reason; and, with due respect ward washings. We read several injunctions to these great names, may be looked upon as of this kind in the book of Deuteronomy, something whimsical. which confirm this truth; and which are but I mention these great examples in defence ill accounted for by saying, as some do, that of my bookseller, who occasioned this eighth they were only instituted for convenience in volume of Spectators, because, as he said, he the desert, which otherwise could not have thought seven a very odd number. On the been habitable for so many years. other side, several grave reasons were urged I shall conclude this essay with a story which on this important subject; as, in particular, I have somewhere read in an account of Ma-that seven was the precise number of the wise hometan superstitions. men, and that the most beautiful constella A dervise of great sanctity one morning had tion in the heavens was composed of seven the misfortue, as he took up a crystal cup stars. This he allowed to be true, but still which was consecrated to the prophet, to let insisted that seven was an odd number: sugit fall upon the ground and dash it in pieces.gesting at the same time, that if he were proHis son coming in some time after, he stretch-vided with a sufficient stock of leading papers, ed out his hand to bless him, as his manner he should find friends ready enough to carry was every morning: but the youth going out on the work. Having by this means got his stumbled over the threshold and broke his vessel launched and set afloat, he hath comarm. As the old man wondered at these mitted the steerage of it, from time to time, events, a caravan passed by in its way from to such as he thought capable of conducting Mecca; the dervise approached it to beg ait. blessing; but as he stroked one of the holy camels, he received a kick from the beast that sorely bruised him. His sorrow and amazement increased upon him, until he recollected that, through hurry and inadvertency, he had that morning come abroad without washing his hands. No. 632.] Monday, December 13, 1714. The close of this volume, which the town may now expect in a little time, may possibly ascribe each sheet to its proper author. It were no hard task to continue this paper a considerable time longer by the help of large contributions sent from unknown hands. I cannot give the town a better opinion of the Spectator's correspondents, than by publishing the following letter, with a very fine copy of verses upon a subject perfectly new. 6 MR. SPECTATOR, Dublin, Nov. 30, 1714. Then to obscurity well pleas'd retreat. 'You lately recommended to your female readers the good old custom of their grandTHE love of symmetry and order, which is mothers, who used to lay out a great part of natural to the mind of man, betrays him their time in needle-work. I entirely agree sometimes into very whimsical fancies. This with you in your sentiments, and think it noble principle,' says a French author, 'loves would not be of less advantage to themselves to amuse itself on the most trifling occasions. and their posterity, than to the reputation of You may see a profound philosopher,' says he, many of their good neighbours, if they passed walk for an hour together in his chamber, many of those hours in this innocent enterand industriously treading, at every step, up-tainment which are lost at the tea-table. I on every other board in the flooring.' Every would, however, humbly offer to your consireader will recollect several instances of this deration the case of the poetical ladies; who, nature without my assistance. I think it was though they may be willing to take any adGregorio Leti, who had published as many books as he was years old;* which was a rule This voluminous writer boasted that he had been the author of a book and the father of a child for twenty years successively. Swift counted the number of steps he had made from London to Chelsea. And it is said and demonstrated in the Parentalia, that bishop Wren walked round the earth while a prisoner in the tower of London, vice given them by the Spectator, yet cannot Cambridge, Dec. 11. so easily quit their pen and ink as you may 'It was a very common inquiry among the imagine. Pray allow them, at least now and ancients, why the number of excellent orators, then, to indulge themselves in other amuse- under all the encouragements the most flouments of fancy when they are tired with rishing states could give them, fell so far short stooping to their tapestry. There is a very of the number of those who excelled in all other particular kind of work, which of late several sciences. A friend of mine used merrily to apladies here in our kingdom are very fond of, which seems very well adapted to a poetical genius: it is the making of grottos. I know a lady who has a very beautiful one, composed by herself; nor is there one shell in it not stuck up by her own hands. I here send you a poem to the fair architect, which I would not offer to herself until I knew whether this method of a lady's passing her time were approved of by the British Spectator; which, with the poem, I submit to your censure, who "A grotto so complete, with such design, "Where can unpolish'd nature boast a piece } "Charm'd with the sight, my ravish'd breast is fired "O, were I equal to the bold design, No. 633.] Wednesday, December 15, 1714. Omnia profecto, eum se à cœlestibus rebus referet ad humanas, excelsiùs magnificentiúsque et dicet et sentiet. Cicero. The contemplation of celestial things will make a man both speak and think more sublimely and magnificently when be descends to human affairs. THE following discourse is printed, as it came to my hands, without variation. ply to this case an observation of Herodotus, who says, that the most useful animals are the most fruitful in their generation; whereas the species of those beasts that are fierce and mischievous to mankind are but scarcely conti nued. The historian instances in a hare, which always either breeds or brings forth; and a lioness, which brings forth but once, and then loses all power of conception. But leaving my friend to his mirth, I am of opinion that in these latter ages we have greater cause of complaint than the ancients had. And since that solemn festival is approaching,* which calls for all the power of oratory, and which affords as noble a subject for the pulpit as any revelation has taught us, the design of this paper shall be to show, that our moderns have greater advantages towards true and solid eloquence than any which the celebrated speakers of antiquity enjoyed. 'The first great and substantial difference is, that their common-places, in which almost the whole force of amplification consists, were drawn from the profit or honesty of the action, as they regarded only this present state of duration. But Christianity, as it exalts morality to a greater perfection, as it brings the consideration of another life into the question, as it proposes rewards and punishments of a higher nature, and a longer continuance, is more adapted to affect the minds of the audience, naturally inclined to pursue what it imagines its greatest interest and concern. If Pericles, as historians report, could shake the firmest resolution of his hearers, and set the passions of all Greece in a ferment, when the present welfare of his country, or the fear of hostile invasions, was the subject: what may be expected from that orator who warns his audience against those evils which have no remedy, when once undergone, either from pru. dence or time? As much greater as the evils in a future state are than these at present, so much are the motives to persuasion under Christianity greater than those which mere moral considerations could supply us with. But what I now mention relates only to the power of moving the affections. There is another part of eloquence which is, indeed, its master. piece; I mean the marvellous or sublime. In this the Christian orator has the advantage beyond contradiction. Our ideas are so infinitely enlarged by revelation, the eye of reason has so wide a prospect into eternity, the notions of a Deity are so worthy and refined, and the accounts we have of a state of happiness or misery so clear and evident, that the contemplation of such objects will give our discourse a nobler vigour, an invincible force, beyond the power of any human consideration. Tully requires in his perfect orator some skill in the * Christmas 1 |