D. Pedro. The greatest note of it is his melancholy. Claud. And when was he wont to wash his face? D. Pedro. Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say of him. Claud. Nay, but his jesting spirit, which is now crept into a lutestring, and now governed by stops. D. Pedro. Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him. Conclude, conclude, he is in love. Claud. Nay, but I know who loves him. D. Pedro. That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not. Claud. Yes, and his ill conditions; and in despite of all dies for him. D. Pedro. She shall be buried with her face upwards. Bene. Yet is this no charm for the tooth-ache. Old signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear. [Exeunt BENEDICK and LEONATO. D. Pedro. For my life, to break with him about Beatrice. Claud. 'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by John. My lord and brother, God save you. John. If your leisure served, I would speak with you. John. If it please you; yet count Claudio may hear, for what I would speak of concerns him. D. Pedro. What's the matter? Enter DOGBERRY and VERGES, with the Watch. Dogb. Are you good men and true? Verg. Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation, body and soul. Dogb. Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the prince's watch. Verg. Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry. Dogb. First, who think you the most desartless man to be constable? 1 Watch. Hugh Oatcake, sir, or George Seacoal, for they can write and read. Dogb. Come hither, neighbour Seacoal. God hath blessed you with a good name: to be a well-favoured man is the gift of fortune, but to write and read comes by nature. 2 Watch. Both which, master constable, Dogb. You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your favour, sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for your writing and reading, John. [To CLAUDIO.] Means your lordship to be let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. married to morrow. D. Pedro. You know, he does. John. I know not that, when he knows what I know. Claud. If there be any impediment, I pray you, discover it. John. You may think, I love you not let that appear hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will manifest. For my brother, I think, he holds you well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect your ensuing marriage; surely, suit ill spent, and labour ill bestowed! D. Pedro. Why, what's the matter? John. I came hither to tell you; and, circumstances shortened, (for she has been too long a talking of) the lady is disloyal. Claud. Who? Hero? You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch; therefore, bear you the lantern. This is your charge. You shall comprehend all vagrom men: you are to bid any man stand, in the prince's name. 2 Watch. How, if a' will not stand? Dogb. Why then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call the rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave. Verg. If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the prince's subjects. Dogb. True, and they are to meddle with none but the prince's subjects.-You shall also make no noise in the streets; for for the watch to babble and talk is most tolerable, and not to be endured. 2 Watch. We will rather sleep than talk: we know John. Even she: Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every what belongs to a watch. man's Hero. Dogb. Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend; only, have a care that your bills be not stolen. Well, you are to call at all the ale-houses, and bid those that are drunk get them to bed. 2 Watch. How, if they will not? Dogb. Why then, let them alone till they are sober: if they make you not then the better answer, you may say, they are not the men you took them for. 2 Watch. Well, sir. Dogb. If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your office, to be no true man; and, for such kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty. 2 Watch. If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him? Dogb. Truly, by your office you may; but, I think, they that touch pitch will be defiled. The most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is, to let him show himself what he is, and steal out of your company. Verg. You have been always called a merciful man, partner. Dogb. Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will; much more a man who hath any honesty in him. Verg. If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse, and bid her still it. 2 Watch. How, if the nurse be asleep, and will not hear us? Dogb. Why then, depart in peace, and let the child wake her with crying; for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes, will never answer a calf when he bleats. Verg. 'Tis very true. Dogb. This is the end of the charge. You, constable, are to present the prince's own person: if you meet the prince in the night, you may stay him. Verg. Nay by'r lady, that, I think, a' cannot. Dogb. Five shillings to one on't, with any man that knows the statutes, he may stay him: marry, not without the prince be willing; for, indeed, the watch ought to offend no man, and it is an offence to stay a man against his will. Verg. By'r lady, I think, it be so. Dogb. Ha, ha, ha! Well, masters, good night: an there be any matter of weight chances, call up me. Keep your fellows' counsels and your own, and good night. Come, neighbour. 2 Watch. Well, masters, we hear our charge: let us go sit here upon the church-bench till two, and then all to bed. Dogh. One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you, watch about signior Leonato's door; for the wedding being there to-morrow, there is a great coil tonight. Adieu, be vigilant, I beseech you. [Exeunt DOGBERRY and VERGES. Enter BORACHIO and CONRADE. Bora. What, Conrade! Watch. [Behind and aside.] Peace! stir not. Con. Here, man; I am at thy elbow. Bora. Mass, and my elbow itched; I thought, there would a scab follow. Con. I will owe thee an answer for that; and now forward with thy tale. Bora. Stand thee close, then, under this penthouse, for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee. Watch. [Aside.] Some treason, masters; yet stand close. Bora. Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats. Con. Is it possible that any villainy should be so dear? Bora. Thou should'st rather ask, if it were possible any villainy should be so rich; for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will. Con. I wonder at it. been a vile thief this seven year: a' goes up and down like a gentleman. I remember his name. Bora. Didst thou not hear somebody? Con. No: 'twas the vane on the house. Bora. Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is? how giddily a' turns about all the hot bloods between fourteen and five and thirty? sometime, fashioning them like Pharaoh's soldiers in the reechy painting; sometime, like god Bel's priests in the old church window; sometime, like the shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten tapestry, where his cod-piece seems as massy as his club? Con. All this I see, and I see that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man. But art not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too, that thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion? Bora. Not so, neither; but know, that I have tonight wooed Margaret, the lady Hero's gentlewoman, by the name of Hero: she leans me out at her mistress' chamber-window, bids me a thousand times good night. I tell this tale vilely :-I should first tell thee, how the prince, Claudio, and my master, planted, and placed, and possessed by my master Don John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter. Con. And thought they Margaret was Hero? Bora. Two of them did, the prince and Claudio; but the devil, my master, knew she was Margaret, and partly by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my villainy, which did confirm any slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; swore he would meet her, as he was appointed, next morning at the temple, and there, before the whole congregation, shame her with what he saw over-night, and send her home again without a husband. 1 Watch. [Coming forward.] We charge you in the prince's name, stand. 2 Watch. Call up the right master constable. We have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery, that ever was known in the commonwealth. 1 Watch. And one Deformed is one of them: I know him, a' wears a lock. Urs. I will, lady. Hero. And bid her come hither. Urs. Well. [Exit URSULA. Marg. Troth, I think, your other rabato were better. Hero. No, pray thee, good Meg, I'll wear this. Marg. By my troth, it's not so good; and I warrant, your cousin will say so. Hero. My cousin's a fool, and thou art another. I'll wear none but this. Marg. I like the new tire within excellently, if the hair were a thought browner; and your gown's a most rare fashion, i'faith. I saw the duchess of Milan's gown, that they praise so. Hero. O that exceeds, they say. Marg. By my troth, it's but a night-gown in respect of yours: cloth o' gold, and cuts, and laced with silver, set with pearls down the sleeves, side sleeves, and skirts round, under-borne with a bluish tinsel; but for a fine, quaint, graceful, and excellent fashion, yours is worth ten on't. Hero. God give me joy to wear it, for my heart is exceeding heavy! Marg. Twill be heavier soon by the weight of a man. Hero. Fie upon thee! art not ashamed? Marg. Of what, lady? of speaking honourably? Is not marriage honourable in a beggar? Is not your lord honourable without marriage? I think, you would have me say, saving your reverence, a husband: an bad thinking do not wrest true speaking, I'll offend no body. Is there any harm in-the heavier for a husband? None, I think, an it be the right husband, and the right wife; otherwise 'tis light, and not heavy ask my lady Beatrice else; here she comes. Enter BEATRICE. Hero. Good morrow, coz. Beat. Good morrow, sweet Hero. yet now, in despite of his heart, he eats his meat without grudging: and how you may be converted, I know not, but, methinks, you look with your eyes, as other women do. Beat. What pace is this that thy tongue keeps? Urs. Madam, withdraw: the prince, the count, signior Benedick, Don John, and all the gallants of the town, are come to fetch you to church. Hero. Help to dress me, good coz, good Meg, good Ursula. [Exeunt. SCENE V.-Another Room in LEONATO's House. Enter LEONATO, with DOGBERRY and VERGES. Leon. What would you with me, honest neighbour? Dogb. Marry, sir, I would have some confidence with you, that decerns you nearly. Leon. Brief, I pray you; for, you see, it is a busy time with me. Dogb. Marry, this it is, sir. Verg. Yes, in truth it is, sir. Leon. What is it, my good friends? Dogb. Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the Hero. Why, how now? do you speak in the sick matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt, tune? Beat. I am out of all other tune, methinks. Marg. Clap us into-" Light o' love;" that goes without a burden: do you sing it, and I'll dance it. Beat. Yea, "Light o' love," with your heels!—then, if your husband have stables enough, you'll see he shall lack no barns. Marg. O, illegitimate construction! I scorn that with my heels. Beat. 'Tis almost five o'clock, cousin: 'tis time you were ready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill.-Heigh ho! Marg. For a hawk, a horse, or a husband? Beat. For the letter that begins them all, H. Marg. Well, an you be not turned Turk, there's no more sailing by the star. Beat. What means the fool, trow? Marg. Nothing I; but God send every one their heart's desire! Hero. These gloves the count sent me, they are an excellent perfume. Beat. I am stuffed, cousin; I cannot smell. Marg. A maid, and stuffed! there's goodly catching of cold. Beat. O, God help me! God help me! how long have you profess'd apprehension? Marg. Ever since you left it. Doth not my become me rarely? wit Beat. It is not seen enough, you should wear it in your cap. By my troth, I am sick. Marg. Get you some of this distilled carduus benedictus, and lay it to your heart: it is the only thing for a qualm. Hero. There thou prick'st her with a thistle. Beat. Benedictus! why benedictus? you have some moral in this benedictus. Marg. Moral? no, by my troth, I have no moral meaning; I meant plain holy-thistle. You may think, perchance, that I think you are in love: nay, by'r lady, I am not such a fool to think what I list; nor I list not to think what I can; nor, indeed, I cannot think, if I would think my heart out of thinking, that you are in love, or that you will be in love, or that you can be in love. Yet Benedick was such another, and now is he become a man: he swore he would never marry; and as, God help, I would desire they were; but, in faith, honest as the skin between his brows. Verg. Yes, I thank God, I am as honest as any man living, that is an old man, and no honester than I. Dogb. Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour Verges. Leon. Neighbours, you are tedious. Dogb. It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor duke's officers; but, truly, for mine own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find in my heart to bestow it all of your worship. Leon. All thy tediousness on me? ha! Dogb. Yea, an 'twere a thousand pound more than 'tis; for I hear as good exclamation on your worship, as of any man in the city, and though I be but a poor man, I am glad to hear it. Verg. And so am I. Leon. I would fain know what you have to say. Verg. Marry, sir, our watch to-night, excepting your worship's presence, have ta'en a couple of as arrant knaves as any in Messina. Dogb. A good old man, sir; he will be talking: as they say, when the age is in, the wit is out. God help us! it is a world to see!-Well said, i'faith, neighbour Verges :—well, God's a good man; an two men ride of a horse, one must ride behind.-An honest soul, i'faith, sir: by my troth he is, as ever broke bread; but, God is to be worshipped: all men are not alike; alas, good neighbour! Leon. Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you. Dogb. One word, sir. Our watch, sir, have, indeed, comprehended two auspicious persons, and we would have them this morning examined before your worship. Leon. Take their examination yourself, and bring it me: I am now in great haste, as it may appear unto you. Dogb. It shall be suffigance. Leon. Drink some wine ere you go. Fare you well. Enter a Messenger. Mess. My lord, they stay for you to give your daughter to her husband. Leon. I'll wait upon them: I am ready. [Exeunt LEONATO and Messenger. Dogb. Go, good partner, go; get you to Francis Seacoal; bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the gaol: we are now to examination these men. Verg. And we must do it wisely. Dogb. We will spare for no wit, I warrant you; here's that shall drive some of them to a non com: only get the learned writer to set down our excommunication, and meet me at the gaol. [Exeunt. ACT IV. SCENE I.-The inside of a Church. Enter Don PEDRO, JOHN, LEONATO, Friar, CLAUDIO, Benedick, Hero, Beatrice, &c. Leon. Come, friar Francis, be brief: only to the plain form of marriage, and you shall recount their particular duties afterwards. Friar. You come hither, my lord, to marry this lady? Claud. No. Leon. To be married to her; friar, you come to marry her. Friar. Lady, you come hither to be married to this count? Hero. I do. Friar. If either of you know any inward impediment, why you should not be conjoined, I charge you on your souls to utter it. Claud. Know you any, Hero? Hero. None, my lord. Friar. Know you any, count? Leon. I dare make his answer; none. Claud. O, what men dare do! what men may do! what men daily do, not knowing what they do! Bene. How now! Interjections? Why then, some be of laughing, as, ha! ha! he! Claud. Stand thee by, friar.-Father, by your leave: Will you with free and unconstrained soul Give me this maid, your daughter? Leon. As freely, son, as God did give her me. Claud. And what have I to give you back, whose worth May counterpoise this rich and precious gift? D. Pedro. Nothing, unless you render her again. Claud. Sweet prince, you learn me noble thankful ness. There, Leonato; take her back again : Give not this rotten orange to your friend; To witness simple virtue? Would you not swear, Not to be married, Claud. I know what you would say: if I have known her, You'll say, she did embrace me as a husband, No, Leonato, I never tempted her with word too large; But, as a brother to his sister, showed Bashful sincerity, and comely love. Hero. And seem'd I ever otherwise to you? As chaste as is the bud ere it be blown; Hero. Is my lord well, that he doth speak so wide? I stand dishonour'd, that have gone about true. Bene. This looks not like a nuptial. Hero. True? O God! Claud. Leonato, stand I here? And, by that fatherly and kindly power Leon. I charge thee do so, as thou art my child. Claud. Marry, that can Hero: Hero. I talk'd with no man at that hour, my lord. John. Fie, fie! they are not to be nam'd, my lord, Not to be spoke of; There is not chastity enough in language, Claud. O Hero! what a Hero hadst thou been, How now, cousin Hero? Friar. Have comfort, lady. Yea; wherefore should she not? Leon. Wherefore? Why, doth not every earthly thing Cry shame upon her? Could she here deny Hath drops too few to wash her clean again, Bene. Beat. O, on my soul, my cousin is belied! Which was before barr'd up with ribs of iron! For I have only been silent so long, And given way unto this cross of fortune, To start into her face; a thousand innocent shames, Under some blighting error. Friar, it cannot be. Friar. Lady, what man is he you are accus'd of? Hero. They know, that do accuse me: I know none. If I know more of any man alive, Than that which maiden modesty doth warrant, Friar. There is some strange misprision in the princes. Bene. Two of them have the very bent of honour; And if their wisdoms be misled in this, The practice of it lives in John the bastard, Leon. I know not. If they speak but truth of her, Nor fortune made such havoc of my means, Friar. Leon. What shall become of this? What will this do? And every lovely organ of her life Shall come apparell'd in more precious habit, Into the eye and prospect of his soul, Than when she liv'd indeed:-then shall he mourn, (If ever love had interest in his liver) No, though he thought his accusation true. |