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Evans. It is not meet the Council hear a riot ; there is no fear of Got in a riot: the Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments 1 in that.
Shal. Ha! o'my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.
Evans. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it ; and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings goot discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to master George Page, which is pretty virginity.2
Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small 3 like a woman.
Evans. It is that fery person for all the 'orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, upon his death’s-bed, (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections !) give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old: it were a goot motion, if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between master Abraham and mistress Anne Page.
Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
Evans. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.
1 Take counsel.
2 A pretty maiden.
3 Soft, low.
Evans. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities," is good gifts.
Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page. Is Falstaff there?
Evans. Shall I tell you a lie ? I do despise a liar, as I do despise one that is false ; or, as I despise one that is not true. The knight, sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door [knocks] for master Page. What, hoa! Got pless your house here !
Page. Who's there?
Evans. Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and justice Shallow; and here young master Slender; that, peradventures, shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.
Page. I am glad to see your worships well: I thank
venison, master Shallow. Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you; much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill killed.—How doth good mistress Page ?—and I thank you always with my heart, la ; with my heart.
Page. Sir, I thank you.
Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say, he was outrun on Cotsall.1
Page. It could not be judged, sir.
Shal. That he will not ;—'tis your fault, 'tis your fault.—'Tis a good dog.
Page. A cur, sir.
Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog. Can there be more said ? he is good and fair.-Is sir John Falstaff here?
Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.
Evans. It is spoke as a christians ought to speak.
Shal. If it be confessed, it is not redressed; is not that so, master Page ? He hath wronged me;indeed, he hath ;-at a word, he hath;—believe me; -Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged. Page. Here comes sir John.
Enter SIR JOAN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and
Fal. Now, master Shallow ; you'll complain of me to the king?
Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge.
Fal. But not kissed your keeper's daughter ?
i Cotswold, in Glocestershire.
Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.
Fal. I will answer it straight :-I have done all this.—That is now answered.
Shal. The Council shall know this.
Fal. 'Twere better for you, if it were known in counsel :
: you 'll be laughed at. Evans. Pauca verba, sir John; good worts.
Fal. Good worts! good cabbage.1—Slender, I broke your head. What matter have you against
Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching? rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.
Bar. You Banbury cheese ! 3
Nym. Slice, I say ! pauca, pauca ;5 slice! that 's my humor.
Slen. Where's Simple, my man ?--can you tell, cousin ?
Evans. Peace, I pray you! Now let us understand. There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand : that is—master Page, fidelicet, master Page ; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.
I Worts was the ancient name of all the cabbage kind. 2 Sharpers were called coney-catchers.
3 Cheese consisting of nothing but paring : in allusion to the thin carcase of Slender.
4 The name of a familiar spirit in the old story of Doctor Faustus.
5 Few words.
Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between them.
Evans. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards ’orke upon the cause, with as great discreetly as we can.
Evans. T'he tevil and his tam ! what phrase is this, ' He hears with ear?' Why, it is affectations.
Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse ?
Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.
Fal. Is this true, Pistol ?
and master mine,
1 Mill-sixpences were used by way of counters to cast up money.
2 The broad shillings of Edward the Sixth, much used in the game of shuffle-board.