Enter DROMIO OF EPHESUS.

Here comes the almanac of my true date.-1
What now? How chance, thou art return'd so soon?
Dro. E. Return'd so soon! rather approach'd too

late:

The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit;
The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell,
My mistress made it one upon my cheek:
She is so hot, because the meat is cold;

The meat is cold, because you come not home;
You come not home, because you have no stomach;
You have no stomach, having broke your fast;
But we, that know what 'tis to fast and pray,
Are penitent for your default to-day.

Ant. S. Stop in your wind, sir; tell me this, I

pray;

Where have you left the money that I gave you ? Dro. E. 0,-sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday last,

To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper ;—
The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not.

Ant. S. I am not in a sportive humor now:
Tell me, and dally not, where is the money?
We being strangers here, how darest thou trust
So great a charge from thine own custody?
Dro. E. I pray you, jest, sir, as you sit at dinner :
I from my mistress come to you in post;

1 Because they were both born in the same hour.

If I return, I shall be post indeed;

For she will score your fault upon my pate.

Methinks, your maw, like mine, should be your

clock,

And strike home without a messenger.

you

Ant. S. Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season:

Reserve them for a merrier hour than this.

Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee?

Dro. E. To me, sir? why, you gave no gold

to me.

Ant. S. Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness,

And tell me how thou hast disposed thy charge.
Dro. E. My charge was but to fetch you from

the mart

Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner :
My mistress and her sister stay for you.

1

Ant. S. Now, as I am a christian, answer me, In what safe place you have bestow'd my money; Or I shall break that merry sconce 1 of yours, That stands on tricks when I am undisposed. Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?

Dro. E. I have some marks of yours upon my

pate,

Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders,
But not a thousand marks between you both.-
If I should pay your worship those again,

1 Head.

Perchance, you will not bear them patiently.

Ant. S. Thy mistress' marks! what mistress, slave, hast thou?

Dro. E. Your worship's wife, my mistress at the
Phoenix;

She that doth fast till you come home to dinner,
And prays that you will hie you home to dinner.
Ant. S. What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my

face,

Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave.

[strikes Dromio E.

Dro. E. What mean you, sir? for God's sake, hold your hands:

Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take

my heels.
[Exit Dromio E.

Ant. S. Upon my life, by some device or other, The villain is o'er-raught 1 of all my money. They say, this town is full of cozenage; As, nimble jugglers, that deceive the eye; Dark-working sorcerers, that change the mind; Soul-killing witches, that deform the body; Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks, And many such like liberties of sin : If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner. I'll to the Centaur, to go seek this slave: I greatly fear, my money is not safe.

2

[Exit.

ACT II.

SCENE I.

A public place.

Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA.

Adr. Neither my husband, nor the slave return'd, That in such haste I sent to seek his master!

Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock.

Luc. Perhaps, some merchant hath invited him, And from the mart he 's somewhere gone to dinner. Good sister, let us dine, and never fret:

A man is master of his liberty:

Time is their master; and, when they see time,
They'll go, or come: if so, be patient, sister.

Adr. Why should their liberty than ours be more?
Luc. Because their business still lies out o' door.
Adr. Look, when I serve him so, he takes it ill.
Luc. O, know, he is the bridle of your will.
Adr. There's none, but asses, will be bridled so.
Luc. Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with woe.
There's nothing, situate under heaven's eye,
But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in sky:
The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls,
Are their males' subjects, and at their controls:
Men, more divine, the masters of all these,
Lords of the wide world and wild watery seas,
Endued with intellectual sense and souls,
Of more pre-eminence than fish and fowls,

Are masters to their females, and their lords:
Then let your will attend on their accords.

Adr. This servitude makes you to keep unwed. Luc. Not this, but troubles of the marriage bed. Adr. But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway.

Luc. Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey.

Adr. How if your husband start some other where ?

Luc. Till he come home again, I would forbear. Adr. Patience, unmoved, no marvel though she

They can be meek, that have no other cause.
A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
We bid be quiet, when we hear it cry;

But were we burden'd with like weight of pain,
As much, or more, we should ourselves complain :
So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee,
With urging helpless patience wouldst relieve me :
But, if thou live to see like right bereft,
This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left.

Luc. Well, I will marry one day, but to try.Here comes your man; now is your husband nigh.

Enter DROMIO OF EPHESUS.

Adr. Say, is your tardy master now at hand? Dro. E. Nay, he is at two hands with me, and that my two ears can witness.

1 Is quiet.