Or sleep I now, and think I hear all this?
What error drives our eyes and ears amiss?
Until I know this sure uncertainty,

I'll entertain the offer'd fallacy.

Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner.

Dro. S. O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner. This is the fairy land;-O, spite of spites!—

We talk with goblins, owls, and elvish sprites :
If we obey them not, this will ensue ;

They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue.
Luc. Why pratest thou to thyself, and answer'st

not?

Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot!
Dro. S. I am transformed, master; am not I?
Ant. S. I think thou art in mind, and so am I.

Dro. S. Nay, master, both in mind and in my

shape.

Ant. S. Thou hast thine own form.

Dro. S.

No, I am an ape.

Luc. If thou art changed to aught, 'tis to an ass. Dro. S. 'Tis true; she rides me, and I long for

grass.

'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be,

But I should know her as well as she knows me.

Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,

To put the finger in the eye and weep,

Whilst man and master laugh my woes to scorn.— Come, sir, to dinner. Dromio, keep the gate.Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day,

And shrive you1 of a thousand idle pranks.
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,
Say, he dines forth, and let no creature enter.-
Come, sister:-Dromio, play the porter well.

Ant. S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
Sleeping or waking, mad or well-advised?
Known unto these, and to myself disguised?
I'll say as they say, and persever so,
And in this mist at all adventures go.

Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate? Adr. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your

pate.

Luc. Come, come, Antipholus; we dine too late.

ACT III.

[Exeunt.

SCENE I.

The same.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS, DROMIO OF EPHESUS, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR.

Ant. E. Good signior Angelo, you must excuse

us all;

My wife is shrewish, when I keep not hours.
Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop,
To see the making of her carkanet,2

1 Call you to confession.

2 A necklace strung with pearls.

And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
But here's a villain, that would face me down
He met me on the mart; and that I beat him,
And charged him with a thousand marks in gold ;
And that I did deny my wife and house.-

Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by

this?

Dro. E. Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know :

That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to

show:

If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink,

Your own handwriting would tell you what I think. Ant. E. I think, thou art an ass.

Dro. E.

Marry, so it doth appear

By the wrongs I suffer, and the blows I bear.

I should kick, being kick'd; and, being at that

pass,

You would keep from my heels, and beware of an

ass.

Ant. E. You are sad, signior Balthazar. Pray God, our cheer

May answer my good will, and your good welcome

here.

Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.

Ant. E. O signior Balthazar, either at flesh or

fish,

A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty

dish.

Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl

affords.

Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words.

Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a merry feast.

Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing guest:

But though my cates be mean, take them in good

part;

Better cheer may you have, but not with better

heart.

But, soft; my door is lock'd; go, bid them let

us in.

Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian,

Jen'!

Dro. S. [within.] Mome,1 malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch! 2

Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the

hatch :

Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such store,

When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the

door.

Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street.

Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on 's feet.

Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho, open the

door.

Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, and you 'll tell me wherefore.

Ant. E. Wherefore? for my dinner; I have not dined to-day.

Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come again, when you may.

Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the house I owe? 1

Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.

Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name;

The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame.
If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place,
Thou wouldst have changed thy face for a name, or
thy name for an ass.

Luce. [within.] What a coil is there! Dromio, who are those at the gate?

Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce.

Luce.

Faith, no; he comes too late ;

O Lord, I must laugh

And so tell your master.

Dro. E.
Have at you with a proverb.-Shall I set in

Luce. Have at you with another: that's,—

When? can you tell?

Dro. S. If thy name be call'd Luce, Luce, thou

hast answer'd him well.

1 I own, am master of.

2 Tumult.