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twelf' one got down to de level feet, de one who had hol' de winder said, "O Pat! let me take my han' aloose an' ketch a fresh hol'." An' de one at de bottom said, "Pat, I'm drinkin' de mos' water, because I'm at de bottom.” 1

4. DE DEER AN' DE HUNTIN' MAN.2

He says, "You go to de stand whiles I go an' drive; an' when he come out, you shoot him." De deer came by. De huntsman come up and ask him, "Did you see him come by?" "Yes, I did." "Why didn't you shoot him?"-"Because he came by with a chair on his head. An' de reason I didn't shoot him, de rate he's at, he will soon kill himself." - "About how many knots you think he was makin' an hour?" "Oh, about forty knots an hour." "Where do you think he's at now?"-"At Philadelphy." "What did he hit dere?" — "Big Clarence pos'."-"How long you think he will be in dyin'?"-"Oh, he's dead now."

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5. ON THE DEER'S BACK.

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Two Ahshmen went huntin'. They came across a deer asleep. Pat with the axe an' he jumped on de deer's back. De deer awoke from his sleep, an' he run off. Pat on de deer's back hollered back to his pardner, an' says, "Pat, the Devil has got me at las'! Now, tell me, Pat, what side mus' I hit him on?"

6. SAMSON AND SATAN.

Satan said to Samson, "They tell me that you are the strongest man in the world." Samson says, "Yes, I s'pose I am. Let us to-day try our strength." Satan said to Samson, "I will fus' try de hammer dat knock upon anvil." Samson says to Satan, "T'row dat hammer up, see how high you can t'row it." He t'rowed it seventy-five miles. Samson says, "Why, Satan, have you another hammer?" He says, "Why, yes!" He says, "What's the name of that hammer?" — "De one dat we wel's ahn (weld iron) with." He says, "How high can you t'row dat one?" - "Oh," he says, "'bout a hundred miles.” "Oh," he says, "you can't t'row at all. I t'ought you was a man." He says, "Now, Satan, you stan' back! you ahn't a man at all." Samson steps an' takes up de anvil an' looks up ter de skies, an' said, "Michael an' Rafeel an' all de holy angils," he says, "stan' back, because here comes de anvil!" An' when he swing de anvil twice, Satan said to Samson, he said, "Don' do that! Save heaven an' de hos'." He said, "If you knock 'em outer existence, what shall we do fe livin'?"

1 Compare W. A. Clouston, The Book of Noodles (New York, 1888), pp. 46, 47. Title given by narrator.

7. ME TOO.

De man got frightened at de ghos'! He leetle Fido dawg wid him. De man he ran, de leetle dawg behin' him. De man got tired an' stopped, an' said, "I'm tired." De leetle dawg said, "Me too." Said, "Fido, I didn't know you could talk. Let's us go furder." 1

8. THE DAMAGED LOCOMOTIVE.

'Bout a man who got drunk an' lay on de side de railroad. He lays his han' across de steel. He was asleep an' forgot about de train comin' dat way. De train come along, cut off his arm. His pardner said to him, "What do you want me to do? Mus' I go an' get a doctor?" He said, "No, go an' get my lawyer." - "What fer?" He said, "I have run over de locomotive an' knock off one of de drivers. De reason why I want a lawyer, I want to enter suit between myself an' de locomotive. I think I have damaged de locomotive. I want to pay de damage." Got de lawyer. "De locomotive sued me for damage." - "What was de charge de locomotive heve against you?" asked de lawyer. "I broke de driver."-"De State attorney wants to know from me what is de driver." He said, "Dat t'ing dat you tu'n over."-"Did you ketch de driver in you han'?" — "I did, si'." "What did you do to de driver?" — "I car'ed it home with me, si'." "What did you do when you got home?"-"I put it in my trunk, si'." — "What did you do with the arm you said de driver cut off?"—"I put it in de trunk wi' de driver." — "How much did it cost you to injur' dat locomotive?" - "It jus' cos' me my arm, si', dat's all."

-

9. AFTER SEVEN YEARS.

This man was named Logan. His wife was wery sick. Sent Mr. Logan in haste fur de doctor. He went in haste, an' staid seven years. An' when he came back, he came in such a hurry till he fell down an' broke his jug. When he got at de house of his sick wife, he ask, “Is my wife yet alive?" Says, "Lor', she has a strong constitution to live dat long." He goes in to speak to his wife. "Husban', why you tarr' so long?"—"I was in hopes, wife, by dis time, I was in hopes dat you were dead, because my second wife was out dere in de garden now."-"Tell her to come in." "Good-mornin', Mis Rollin!" Second wife says, "Good-mornin', Mis Rollin!" back. Says Mis Rollin de fus', "How you gettin' long?" "Oh," she said, "Gettin' 'long fine." She says, " Is dat so! Ken you an' me both be married ter de same man an' agree?" "We ken on conditions, provided dat you sleep in a separate room to yerself, an' Mr. Rollin an' I be

1 See this number, p. 195 (No. 52).

in a room ter ourselves." Said, "Another t'ing, you get out of my house! because dis is my house."—"All right, Mis Rollin, I go, but I see Mr. Rollin later."

IO. IN THE BRIAR-PATCH.

Fox says, "I t'row you in de briar-patch."-"Oh," he says, "brother Fox, please don' t'row me in de briar-patch!"-"Oh, I'se going to t'row you in 'gardless of what might be de result of my t'rowin' you in it, 'cause I don' like yer." De fox takes up de rabbit. "Please," he says, "don' t'row me in de briar-patch, please, si'!" Fox t'row de rabbit in de briar-patch. Rabbit stud at de edge of de briar-patch an' looked at de fox. He says, "Brother Fox, do you know dat dis is my house? Good-mornin', sir!"1

II. THE BOY AND THE COLT.

De colt was at de river drinkin' water. De boy hid hisself way in de bushes. De boy said to hisself, "What a good time I'm goin' to have terday shovin' dat colt inter de river!" De boy didn't know at dat time dat while de colt was drinkin' water, he had one eye upon de boy. De boy makes a lunge at de colt. De colt see de boy comin' to him. De colt step aside an' t'row hisself into de river. After much scramblin' an' scufflin', de boy got out de river. De boy said to hisself, "It is a good thing dat I laugh befo' I lunge at de colt, because dere was no time to laugh in de river."

12. DE TERPIN AN' DE BOY.2

Now, de terpin was on a log. An' de eye dat de boy could see was shut. De terpin eye that he had on de boy was open. De boy stepped into de pond, an' he walks up ter ketch de terpin. When he sees de terpin, de terpin sees him. He hollers ter people on de sho', "Come an' he'p me ketch de terpin, because de terpin got me, an' he'p us ter tu'n de terpin loose!"

13. THE RACE.

De terpin had a race with de rabbit. De terpin go long at each mile-pos'. De rabbit he ran to de secon' mile-pos'. He see de terpin. He says, "Broder Terpin, I will go an' take a leetle nap an' git me dinner. I beat yer at de en'." While de rabbit takin' a nap, Terpin studyin' him over. Placed anoder terpin at de third mile-pos'. Rabbit still asleep. Rabbit awoke from his sleep. He see a terpin at de fou't' mile-pos'. Jumps out ter go. "Oh, I lef' it behin' me!" 1 See this number, pp. 171, 181. Title given by narrator.

VOL. XXX.-NO. 116.-15.

not knowin' dat a terpin was at de fif' mile-pos'. When he got to de fif' mile-pos', de terpin was dere. "Oh," de terpin said to brother Rabbit, "while you was nappin' an' eatin' dinner I was studyin' on him." But de rabbit failed to know the secret of de terpin convention. Dey met de night befo' de race, an' plotted to place a terpin at each mile-pos'. De agreement was in de terpin convention also, when dey see Rabbit comin', dat dey was to go in de groun', so dat Rabbit wouldn't see de terpin. But when he reach at de fif' mile-pos', he seen de terpin, because it was agreed among de terpin at de fif' mile-pos' he would not go in de groun' so dat de rabbit could see him. So de rabbit would consider to himself, "While I was asleep an' eatin' dinner, de terpin1 kep' goin'."

(Second Version.)

Dey had a race, an' dey had miles posts, an' dey had ten miles to run. De gopher placed a gopher at every mile-pos'. Dey start, an' he say, "Here dere, gopher, are you ready?" An' he say, "Yere, I'm ready." So dey started. Nex' pos' he said, "Gopher, wha' are you?" An' Gopher said, "I'm right here." De nex' mile-pos', "Here dere, Gopher, are you dere yet?" — "Yere, I been here long time. I'm waitin' on yer." So dat's de reason he don't like a gopher to-day. He stump him when he meet him. De gopher out-tricked him.

(Third Version.)

De rabbit an' de wolf was to have a race. So de rabbit he takes his other rabbits an' placed them on de mile-poses. When he got ready, he say, "O Brur Wolf! le's go from here!" He say, "You dere?" He say, "Yere, I been here long time." He say, "Brur Rabbit, what make your eyes so big?"-"By Gawd! dey always been big."

14. FATAL IMITATION.

De rooster was outside one day wi' his head tucked under his wing. De rabbit met de rooster, an' he says, "Look here, brur Rooster! I met you de oder day, an' yer head was off." He say, "How was dat?" "Oh," he say, I had de ol' lady chop my head. I jus' lay it aside so I could sun it." An' de rabbit he thought he could play de same trick, so he went home an' tol' his ol' lady to chop his head off. So dat was de las' of his head. The rooster was smarter than the rabbit was.3

1 See this number, pp. 174, 214.

* See this number. pp. 190, 237.

2

* Compare MAFLS 2 : 25 (VII).

15. BIG FRAID AND LITTLE FRAID.

Once de man had a monkey. He had a boy who was never scary. He always says to his boy, "Why don't you go an' drive dem cows up befo' it git late?" He says, "O Popper! I'm not scary, be late, be dark any time. I'm not scary." So de ol' man he allow he'd go to de bed an' take a sheet off de bed to go to scare de boy. So de monkey he t'ought he'd do the same trick. So he went to de table an' he got de white tablecloth. So while de ol' man was sittin' on de big en' of de log, de monkey was sittin' on de en' behin' de ol' man. So he says, "Yond's a ghost, hum! Oh, dere's two of 'em!" So instead of the ol' man scarin' de boy, de boy scare de ol' man. "Run, big fraid, little fraid will ketch you. Can't you run?" Den de ol' man fell in de do', an' de monkey on top of him scared to death.1

16. GOD AND MOSES.

Said a fellow named Moses, an' he was prayin' to God to take him out de world. An' while he was prayin' to God to take him out de worl', "Who dere?" "Moses." "Who dere?"-"God." — "What God want?" - "Want po' Moses." - "Who?" he said. "God." "Moses hain't here, his wife here, his wife do as well." "Come here, Moses, an' go to God." Say, "Where my shoes?" "You know where you shoes are. Dey under de bed dere." "Where's my hat?" - "You know where you hat is. You go git it."

"O God! stan' one side! you so high, I can't go over you. You so wide, I can't go around you. You so low, I can't go under you. Stan' one side!" Den he stood one side. Him an' God, what a race den dey had! An' he jumped over a high railin' fence, an' de fence fell on him, an' he said, "Get off me, God, get off me!" An' God never did get off.2

NEW YORK.

1 See this number, p. 172.

2 Compare Harris 3: IV.

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