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SCENE II.— The Sea-coast.
Enter VIOLA, Captain, and Sailors.
This is Illyria, lady.
sailors ? Cap. It is perchance that you yourself were sav'd. Vio. O my poor brother! and so, perchance, may
he be. Cap. True, madam; and to comfort you with
chance, Assure yourself, after our ship did split, When
and those poor number sav'd with you,
For saying so, there 's gold:
Cap. Ay, madam, well; for I was bred and born, Not three hours' travel from this very place.
Vio. Who governs here?
Vio. Orsino! I have heard my father name him : He was a bachelor then.
Cap. And so is now, or was so very late : For but a month ago I went from hence;
And then 't was fresh in murmur, (as, you know,
Vio. What 's she?
Cap. A virtuous maid, the daughter of a count
O, that I serv'd that lady:
That were hard to compass ;
Vio. There is a fair behaviour in thee, captain;
Cap. Be you his eunuch, and your mute I'll be ;
SCENE III.-A Room in Olivia's House.
Enter Sir Toby Bench and MARIA. Sir To. What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure care 's an enemy to life.
Mar. By my troth, sir Toby, you must come in earlier o’nights; your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours.
Sir To. Why, let her except before excepted.
Mar. Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order.
Sir To. Confine? I 'll confine myself no finer than I am : these clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too; an they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.
Mar. That quaffing and drinking will undo you : I heard my lady talk of it yesterday; and of a foolish knight, that you brought in one night here, to be her
Sir To. Who? Sir Andrew Ague-cheek ?
Mar. Ay, but he 'll have but a year in all these ducats ; he 's a very fool, and a prodigal.
Sir To. Fie, that you 'll say so! he plays o' the violde-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.
Mar. He hath, indeed, almost natural: for besides that he's a fool, he 's a great quarreller ; and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in
& Tall-stout, bold.
quarrelling, 't is thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave.
Sir To. By this hand, they are scoundrels and subtractors that say so of him. Who are they?
Mar. They that add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company.
Sir To. With drinking healths to my niece: I 'll drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat, and drink in Illyria. He's a coward, and a coystril, that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o' the toe like a parish-top. What, wench? Castilianovulgo; for here comes sir Andrew Ague-face.
Enter SIR ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK.
Sir To. Sweet sir Andrew !
Sir And. Good mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.
Mar. My name is Mary, sir.
Sir To. You mistake, knight; accost is, front her, board her, a woo her, assail her.
Sir And. By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost ?
Mar. Fare you well, gentlemen.
Sir To. An thou let part so, sir Andrew, 'would thou mightst never draw sword again.
Sir And. An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. air lady, do you think you have fools in hand ?
a Board her--address her.
Mar. Sir, I have not you by the hand.
Mar. Now, sir, thought is free : I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar, and let it drink.
Sir And.. Wherefore, sweetheart? what 's your metaphor?
Mar. It 's dry, sir.
Sir And. Why, I think so; I am not such an ass but I can keep my hand dry. But what is your jest ?
Mar. A dry jest, sir.
Mar. Ay, sir; I have them at my fingers' ends : marry, now I let go your hand I am barren. Ex. Mar.
Sir To. O knight, thou lack'st a cup of canary: When did I see thee so put down?
Sir And. Never in your life, I think; unless you see canary put me down : Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a christian, or an ordinary man has : but I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.
Sir To. No question.
Sir And. An I thought that, I 'd forswear it. I 'll ride home to-morrow, sir Toby.
Sir To. Pourquoy, my dear knight? Sir And. What is pourquoy? do or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting : 0, had I but followed the arts !
Sir To. Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair. Sir And. Why, would that have mended my
hair ? Sir To. Past question; for thou see'st it will not curl by nature.
Sir And. But it becomes me well enough, does 't
Sir To. Excellent; it hangs like flax on a distaff;