SCENE II.-The Sea-coast. Enter VIOLA, Captain, and Sailors. Vio. What country, friends, is this? Cap. This is Illyria, lady. Vio. And what should I do in Illyria? My brother he is in Elysium. Perchance he is not drown'd:- What think you, sailors? Cap. It is perchance that you yourself were sav'd. Vio. O my poor brother! and so, perchance, may he be. Cap. True, madam; and to comfort you with chance, Assure yourself, after our ship did split, When you, and those poor number sav'd with you, (Courage and hope both teaching him the practice) I saw him hold acquaintance with the waves, Vio. For saying so, there 's gold: Whereto thy speech serves for authority, The like of him. Know'st thou this country? Cap. Ay, madam, well; for I was bred and born, Not three hours' travel from this very place. Vio. Who governs here? Cap. A noble duke, in nature as in name. Cap. Orsino. Vio. Orsino! I have heard my father name him : He was a bachelor then. Cap. And so is now, or was so very late: For but a month ago I went from hence; And then 't was fresh in murmur, (as, you know, Vio. What 's she? Cap. A virtuous maid, the daughter of a count That died some twelvemonth since; then leaving her In the protection of his son, her brother, Who shortly also died: for whose dear love, They say, she hath abjur'd the sight And company of men. Vio. O, that I serv'd that lady: And might not be deliver'd to the world, Cap. That were hard to compass; Because she will admit no kind of suit, No, not the duke's. Vio. There is a fair behaviour in thee, captain; I will believe thou hast a mind that suits Cap. Be you his eunuch, and your mute I'll be ; SCENE III.-A Room in Olivia's House. Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA. Sir To. What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure care 's an enemy to life. Mar. By my troth, sir Toby, you must come in earlier o' nights; your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours. Sir To. Why, let her except before excepted. Mar. Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order. Sir To. Confine? I'll confine myself no finer than I am these clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too; an they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps. Mar. That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday; and of a foolish knight, that you brought in one night here, to be her wooer. Sir To. Who? Sir Andrew Ague-cheek? Mar. Ay, he. Sir To. He's as talla a man as any 's in Illyria. Sir To. Why, he has three thousand ducats a year. Mar. Ay, but he 'll have but a year in all these ducats; he's a very fool, and a prodigal. Sir To. Fie, that you 'll say so! he plays o' the violde-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature. Mar. He hath, indeed, almost natural: for besides that he's a fool, he 's a great quarreller; and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, 't is thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave. Sir To. By this hand, they are scoundrels and subtractors that say so of him. Who are they? Mar. They that add, moreover, he 's drunk nightly in your company. Sir To. With drinking healths to my niece: I'll drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat, and drink in Illyria. He's a coward, and a coystril, that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o' the toe like a parish-top. What, wench? Castilianovulgo; for here comes sir Andrew Ague-face. Enter SIR ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. Sir And. Sir Toby Belch! how now, sir Toby Belch! Sir To. Sweet sir Andrew! Sir And. Bless you, fair shrew. Mar. And you too, sir. Sir To. Accost, sir Andrew, accost. Sir And. What 's that? Sir To. My niece's chambermaid. Sir And. Good mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance. Mar. My name is Mary, sir. Sir And. Good mistress Mary Accost, Sir To. You mistake, knight; accost is, front her, board her, woo her, assail her. Sir And. By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost? Mar. Fare you well, gentlemen. Sir To. An thou let part so, sir Andrew, 'would thou mightst never draw sword again. Sir And. An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand? a Board her-address her. Mar. Sir, I have not you by the hand. Sir And. Marry, but you shall have; and here 's my hand. Mar. Now, sir, thought is free: I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar, and let it drink. Sir And. Wherefore, sweetheart? what's your metaphor? Mar. It's dry, sir. Sir And. Why, I think so; I am not such an ass but I can keep my hand dry. But what 's your jest? Mar. A dry jest, sir. Sir And. Are you full of them? Mar. Ay, sir; I have them at my fingers' ends: marry, now I let go your hand I am barren. [Ex. MAR. Sir To. O knight, thou lack'st a cup of canary: When did I see thee so put down? Sir And. Never in your life, I think; unless you see canary put me down: Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a christian, or an ordinary man has : but I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit. Sir To. No question. Sir And. An I thought that, I'd forswear it. I'll ride home to-morrow, sir Toby. Sir To. Pourquoy, my dear knight? Sir And. What is pourquoy? do or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting: O, had I but followed the arts! Sir To. Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair. Sir And. Why, would that have mended my hair? Sir To. Past question; for thou see'st it will not curl by nature. Sir And. But it becomes me well enough, does 't not? Sir To. Excellent; it hangs like flax on a distaff; |