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Cel. I would sing my song without a burthen : thou bring'st me out of tune..
Ros. Do you not know I am a woman? when I think I must speak. Sweet, say on.
Enter ORLANDO and JAQUES. Cel. You bring me out :* _Soft! comes he not here? Ros. "T is he; slink by, and note him.*
[Cel. and Ros. retire. Jaq. I thank you for your company; but, good faith, I had as lief have been myself alone.
Orl. And so had I; but yet, for fashion sake, I thank you too for your society.
Jaq. God be with you ; let's meet as little as we can. Orl. I do desire we may be better strangers.
Jaq. I pray you, mar no more trees with writing love-songs in their barks.
Orl. I pray you, mar no more of my verses with reading them ill-favouredly.
Jaq. Rosalind is your love's name?
Orl. There was no thought of pleasing you when she was christened.
Jaq. What stature is she of?
Jaq. You are full of pretty answers : Have you not been acquainted with goldsmiths' wives, and conned them out of rings?
Orl. Not so; but I answer you right painted cloth, from whence you have studied your questions.
Jaq. You have a nimble wit; I think it was made of Atalanta's heels. Will you sit down with nie? and we two will rail against our mistress the world, and all our misery.
A Bring me out-put me out
Orl. I will chide no breather in the world but myself; against whom I know most faults.
Jaq. The worst fault you have, is to be in love.
Orl. 'T is a fault I will not change for your best virtue. I am weary of you.
Jaq. By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I
Orl. He is drowned in the brook ; look but in, and you shall see him.
Jaq. There shall I see mine own figure.
Jaq. I 'll tarry no longer with you : farewell, good signior Love.
Orl. I am glad of your departure ; adieu, good monsieur Melancholy:
[Exit Jaq.—Cel. and Ros. come forward. Ros. I will speak to him like a saucy lacquey, and under that habit play the knave with him.-Do you hear, forester?
Orl. Very well; What would you ?
Orl. You should ask me what time o' day; there 's no clock in the forest.
Ros. Then there is no true lover in the forest; else sighing every minute, and groaning every hour, would detect the lazy foot of time as well as a clock.
Orl. And why not the swift foot of time? had not that been as proper ?
Ros. By no means, sir : Time travels in divers paces with divers persons : I'll tell you who Time ambles withal, who Î'ime trots withal, who Time gallops withal, and who he stands still withal.
Orl. I prithee, who doth he trot withal ?
Ros. Marry, he trots hard with a young maid, between the contract of her marriage and the day it is solemnized : if the interim be but a se'nnight, Time's pace is so hard that it seems the length of seven year.
Orl. Who ambles Time withal ?
Ros. With a priest that lacks Latin, and a rich man that hath not the gout: for the one sleeps easily, because he cannot study; and the other lives merrily, because he feels no pain: the one lacking the burthen of lean and wasteful learning; the other knowing no burthen of heavy tedious penury: These Time ambles withal.
Orl. Who doth he gallop withal ?
Ros. With a thief to the gallows : for though he go as softly as foot can fall, he thinks himself too soon there.
Orl. Who stays it still withal ?
Ros. With lawyers in the vacation : for they sleep between term and term, and then they perceive not how time moves.
Orl. Where dwell you, pretty youth?
Ros. With this shepherdess, my sister; here, in the skirts of the forest, like fringe upon a petticoat.
Ori. Are you native of this place ?
Ros. As the coney, that you see dwell where she is kindled.
Orl. Your accent is something finer than you could purchase in so removed a a dwelling.
Ros. I have been told so of many: but, indeed, an old religious uncle of mine taught me to speak, who was in his youth an inland man; one that knew courtship too well, for there he fell in love. I have heard him read many lectures against it; and I thank God I am not a woman, to be touched with so many giddy offences as he hath generally taxed their whole sex withal.
Orl. Can you remember any of the principal evils that he laid to the charge of women ?
Ros. There were none principal; they were all like one another, as halfpence are: every one fault seeming monstrous, till its fellow fault came to match it.
Orl. I prithee recount some of them.
Ros. No; I will not cast away my physic but on those that are sick. There is a man haunts the forest that abuses our young plants with carving Rosalind on their barks; hangs odes upon hawthorns, and elezies on brambles ; all, forsooth, deifying the name of Rosalind : if I could meet that fancy-monger, I would give him some good counsel, for he seems to have the quotidian of love upon him.
Orl. I am he that is so love-shaked; I pray you, tell me your remedy.
Ros. There is none of my uncle's marks upon you : he taught me how to know a man in love ; in which cage of rushes, I am sure, you are not prisoner.
Orl. What were his marks ?
Ros. A lean cheek ; which you have not: a blue eye, and sunken; which you have not : an unquestionable a spirit; which you have not : a beard neglected ; which you have not: (but I pardon you for that; for, simply, your having in beard b is a younger brother's revenue :) Then your hose should be ungartered, your bonnet unbanded, your sleeve unbuttoned, your shoe untied, and everything about you demonstrating a careless desolation. But you are no such man; you are rather point-device c in your accoutrements; as loving yourself, than seeming the lover of any other.
Orl. Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I love.
Ros. Me believe it? you may as soon make her that you love believe it; which, I warrant, she is apter to do than to confess she does : that is one of the points in the which women still give the lie to their consciences. But,
# Unquestionable—not to be questioned, not to be conversed with.
b Having in beard—your possession in beard; having is a substantive.
in good sooth, are you he that hangs the verses on the trees, wherein Rosalind is so admired ?
Orl. I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of Rosalind, I am that he, that unfortunate he.
Ros. But are you so much in love as your rhymes speak?
Orl. Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much.
Ros. Love is merely a madness; and, I tell you, deserves as well a dark house and a whip as madmen do : and the reason why they are not so punished and cured is, that the lunacy is so ordinary that the whippers are in love too : Yet I profess curing it by counsel.
Orl. Did you ever cure any so ?
He was to imagine me his love, his mistress ; and "I set him every day to woo me: At which time would I, being but a moonish youth, grieve, be effeminate, changeable, longing, and liking; proud, fantastical, apish, shallow, inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles ; for every passion something, and for no passion truly anything, as boys and women are for the most part cattle of this colour : would now like him, now loathe him; then entertain him, then forswear him; now weep for him, then spit at him; that I drave my suitor from his mad humour of love, to a living a humour of madness; which was, to forswear the full stream of the world, and to live in a nook merely monastic : And thus I cured him; and this
will I take upon me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep's heart, that there shall not be one spot of love in 't.
oil. I would not be cured, yonth. Ros. I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind, and come every day to my cote, and woo me.
Orl. Now, by the faith of my love, I will : tell me wbere it is. Ros. Go with me to it, and I 'll show it you: and, by
a Living-actual, positive.