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Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed.
Ford. I am blessed in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, sir?
Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not :-yet I wrong him to call him poor; they say the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money ; for the which his wife seems to me well-favoured. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there 's my harvest-home.
Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir; that you might avoid him if you saw him.
Fal. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel: it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns : master Brook, thou shalt know I will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife.-Come to me soon at night :-Ford 's a knave, and I will aggravate his style; thou, master Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold come to me soon at night.
[Exit. Ford. What a damned Epicurean rascal is this ! My heart is ready to crack with impatience.-Who says, this is improvident jealousy? My wife hath sent to him, the hour is fixed, the match is made. Would any man have thought this ?-See the hell of having a false woman! My bed shall be abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not only receive this villainous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me this wrong.
Terms! names ! - Amaimon sounds well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils' additions, the names of fiends! but cuckold! wittolcuckold ! the devil himself hath not such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass! he will trust his wife, he will not be jealous; I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese, an
Irishman with my aqua-vitæ bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself: then she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises ; and what they think in their hearts they may effect they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heaven be praised for my jealousy !-Eleven o'clock the hour.
-I will prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will about it; better three hours too soon than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold !
SCENE III.-Field near Windsor.
Enter Caius and RUGBY. Caius. Jack Rugby!
Caius. Vat is the clock, Jack ?
Rug. 'T is past the hour, sir, that sir Hugh promised to meet.
Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come; by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already if he be come.
Rug. He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him if he came.
Caius. By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
Rug. Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and Page.
traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montánt. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is he dead, my Francisco ? ha, bully! What says my Æsculapius ? my Galen ? my heart of elder? ha! is he dead, bully Stale? is he dead?
Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of the vorld ; he is not show his face.
Host. Thou art a Castilian,a king Urinal! Hector of Greece, my boy!
Caius. I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.
Shal. He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of souls and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions; is it not true, master Page ?
Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace.
Shal. Bodykins, master Page, though I now be old, and of the peace, if I see a sword out my finger itches to make one: though we are justices, and doctors, and churchmen, master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women, master Page.
Page. 'T is true, master Shallow.
Shal. It will be found so, master Page. Master doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace; you have showed yourself a wise physician, and sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman: you must go with me, master doctor.
Host. Pardon, guest justice :-ah, monsieur Mockwater. b
Caius. Mock-vater! vat is dat?
a Castilian. The Host ridicules tlie Doctor through his ignorance of English. He is a “heart of elder,” the elder being filled with soft pith; he is a Castilian, that name being an opprobrious designation for the Spaniards.
6 Mock-water, or muck-water, was some allusion to the profession of Caius.
Host. Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.
Caius. By gar, then I have as much mock-vater as de Englishman :-Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me vill cut his ears.
Host. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
Cuius. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; for, by gar, me vill have it.
Host. And I will provoke him to 't, or let him wag.' Caius. Me tank you for dat.
Host. And, moreover, bully,—But first, master guest, and master Page, and eke cavalero Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore. [Aside to them.
Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he?
Host. He is there : see what humour he is in; and I will bring the doctor about by the fields : will it do well?
Shal. We will do it.
[Exeunt Page, SHAL., and SJEN. Caius. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page.
Host. Let him die: sheathe thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler : go about the fields with me through Frogmore; I will bring thee where mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house, a feasting: and thou shalt woo her : Cried game? a said I well?
Caius. By gar, me tank you vor dat: by gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.
Host. For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page; said I well?
Caius. By gar, 't is good; vell said. Host. Let us wag then. Caius. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. [Exeunt. a Cried game. The meaning would be perfectly obvious were we to read Cried I
SCENE I.-A Field near Frogmore.
Enter Sir Hugh Evans and SIMPLE. Eva. I pray you now, good master Slender's servingman, and friend Simple by your name, which way have you looked for master Caius, that calls himself doctor of physic?
Sim. Marry, sir, the pittie-ward,a the park-ward, every way; old Windsor way, and every way but the
Eva. I most fehemently desire you, you will also look that way.
Sim. I will, sir.
Eva. Pless my soul! how full of cholers I am, and trempling of mind !- I shall be glad if he have deceived me :-how melancholies I am! I will knog his urinals about his knave's costard, when I have good opportunities for the 'ork-pless my soul ! [Sings.
To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals:
To shallow Sim. Yonder he is coming, this way, sir Hugh. a Pittie-ward is of the same import as petty-ward. A part of Windsor Castle is still called the lower ward, and in the same way another part might have been known as the park-ward.