RT. HON. SIR H. C.-B. "HERE'S A BIT OF LUCK! BEST CHANCE I'VE YET HAD OF GETTING IN!"

THE TABLETS OF AZIT-TIGLETH-MIPHANSI, THE SCRIBE.

40. astounding delusion Mali- were saving their country

73. (at late bai-elékshans) 74. that their ardent desires were ruthlessly blighted by this influx

75. of pigh-téls; but they haven't, lorblessyah,

76. the smallest intention of leaving a country like England

77. where pubs are so handy and strikes are so frequent

78. and football editions come out every half-hour

79. (it is strange how athletic these workmen are getting

80. by proxy! I shrewdly suspect there is some other motive!)

81. If they went to the Transvaal, I fancy it

82. wouldn't be long before work was suspended

83. to attend semi-finals,84. the Kaffir Corinthians

Hotten(ham totspurs

versus

85. . . . or something of that sort. 86. What remarkable friendships

these philanthropist persons

87. contrive to get hold of!

88. Having wept on the shoulders of towzled Boer leaders

89. and moistened the heaving and redolent jibbahs

90. of unsehvari-arabz,

91. they throw their ekstatikh, hysterik embraces

92. (clasping black thread - gloved fingers)

93. round the necks of astonished haipothetik-al-kuliz

94. and bathe the excessively prominent cheek-bones of their newly-found allies in

95. tears of emotion whole thing's

96. d.

But the

Show Sunday Visitor (inspecting finished work of R.A.). O yes, I like that. I should go on with that, if I were you.

The New Lord Warden of the
Cinque Ports.

WHAT? "Horrid torrid India?"-Stuff!
Lord CURZON found it cool enough;

In fact, the subject of our rhyme

Comes home to seek a Walmer clime!

THE increasing claims of Romantic [AT a recent meeting of the London Court Literature to take rank among our more of Common Council, Alderman Sir THOMAS BROOKE-HITCHING, speaking in support of a honourable trades cannot much longer be motion to reduce the age limit for the employdisregarded. Mr. Punch, ever anxious ment of children, said he did not believe that to be dans- or even a little ahead of going to work early in life was deleterious to le mouvement, and profiting by the a child. Some of England's greatest men had example set by Mr. FISHER UNWIN, who begun life by going to work at six, seven, or advocates the merits of his new novels eight years of age, but nowadays children had in a portable house-to-house folding lazy habits unless they were under control.] so much time to themselves that they acquired poster, admirably designed and coloured, and as good in its way as anything in the Soap and Mineral Water line of réclame Mr. Punch is prepared to compose advertisements for popular authors, and will forward designs on application. The following samples, though uncoloured and without illustration, will serve to give a rough idea of his methods :

MESSRS. HALL CAINE, LTD.
(Successors to William Shakspeare,
dec.)

beg to announce the publication
of a new novel

THE MANXTER.

No effort has been spared to make
this work the best of its kind on the
market.

Please compare our quality with
that of other houses.

The Original Manufacturers.

CROCKETT'S SCOTCH YARNS.

Novels produced with
PUNCTUALITY AND DISPATCH.

Beware of Imitations.
Méfiez-vous aux contrefaçons.

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME,
AND NO HOLMES LIKE DOYLE'S.
Only address: STRAND.

A. S. SWAN AND HOCKING Guarantee all work turned out by them to be ENTIRELY INNOCuous.

Next book:
THE TAME CURATE.
TRY IT.

I hear they want
MORE BOOTHBY.

You sentimental faddists say
That children ought to loaf away
In pampered ease each idle day

At least till their eleventh year;
You let them dawdle up the Tree
Of Knowledge, nor insist with me
That every infant ought to be

At work before its seventh year.
My aldermanic feelings boil
When I consider how you spoil
The brats who should be taught to toil:

You let them waste their golden time
And learn to gamble, smoke and bet,
Instead of teaching them to get
Their daily pap by honest sweat,
As infants did in olden time.

It maddens me this wasteful rule.
That children so mature should fool
Whole days away attending school

Where nothing they are taught to do,
But vain accomplishments they learn,
Which only serve their heads to turn
And make their fierce ambitions burn

Long, long before they ought to do.
When our great grandsires were alive,
Their sons at six or even five
Were sent to labour in the hive--

The youngsters grew industrious,
And by the time that they were at
The age when any modern brat
Is only lazy, sleek and fat,

Already were illustrious.

No idle hours their life disgraced –
They did not cultivate a taste
For muddy oafishness, nor waste

Blue afternoons in cricketing;
From morn to night with pick and spade
They plied the collier's noble trade,
Or, if a strike were on, essayed

The manly art of picketing.
Thus exercised the livelong day,
In soul and body prospered they,
Nor prematurely fell a prey

To twelve-year-old senility;
But toiling ever, tools in hand,
They early came to understand
The dignity of labour and
The virtue of utility.

SCENE: Margate Beach on Easter Monday.
First Lady. O here comes a steamer.
How high she is out of the water.
Second Lady. Yes, dear, but don't you
see?
It's because the tide 's so low.