then at Newmarket, heard of it, and was pleased merrily and gracioufly to fay, "He could not be there himself, but he would fend them a brace of bucks."

I would defire you, fir, to fet this affair in a true light, that pofterity may not be mifled in fo important a point: for when "the wife man who fhall "write your true hiftory" fhall acquaint the world that you had a diploma fent from the ugly club at Oxford, and that by virtue of it you were admitted into it, what ' a learned work will there be among future critics about the original of that club, which both univerfities will contend fo warmly for? and perhaps fome har'dy Cantabrigian author may then boldly affirm, that the word Oxford was an interpolation of fone Oxonian instead of Cambridge. This affair will be beft adjusted in your life-time; but I hope your affection to your mother will not make you partial to your

6

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aunt.

To tell you, fir, my own opinion: tho' I cannot find any ancient records of any acts of the fociety of the ugly faces, confidered in a public capacity; yet in a private one they have certainly antiquity on their fide. I am perfuaded they will hardly give place to the Lownger's; and the Lowngers are of the fame ftanding with the univerfity itself.

Tho' we well know, fir, you want no motives to do juftice, yet I am commiffioned to tell you, that you are invited to be admitted ad eundem at Cambridge; ' and I believe I may venture fafely to deliver this as the wish of our whole univerfity.'

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To Mr. SPECTATOR,

The humble Pétition of WHO and WHICH.

• Sheweth,

THAT your petitioners, being in a forlorn and ' deftitute condition, know not to whom we should apply ourselves for relief, because there is hardly any man alive who hath not injured us. Nay, we speak "it with forrow, even you yourself, whom we fhould fufpect of fuch a practice the laft of all mankind, can hardly acquit yourself of having given us fome cause of complaint. We are defcended of ancient families,

⚫ and kept up our dignity and honour many years, till the jack-fprat That fupplanted us. How often have

we found ourselves flighted by the clergy in their pulpits, and the lawyers at the bar? nay, how often have we heard in one of the most polite and august affemblies in the univerfe, to our great mortification, ⚫ these words, "that That that noble lord urged;' which, if one of us had had justice done, would have ⚫ founded nobler thus, "that Which that noble lord urged." Senates themselves, the guardians of British liberty, have degraded us, and preferred That to us; and yet no decree was ever given against us. In the very acts of parliament, in which the utmost right 'fhould be done to every body, word, and thing, we find ourselves often either not used, or ufed one in'ftead of another. In the first and best prayer children are taught, they learn to mifufe us : "Our Father "Which art in heaven," should be, “Our Father Who art in heaven;" and even a convocation, after long debates, refused to consent to an alteration of it. In ⚫ our general confeffion we fay," Spare thou them, "O God, Which confefs their faults," which ought to be, "Who confefs their faults." What hopes then ' have we of having justice done us, when the makers of our very prayers and laws, and the most learned in all faculties, feem to be in a confederacy against and our enemies themselves must be our judges. The Spanish proverb fays. El fabio muda confejo, el necio no; i. e. "A wife man changes his mind, a "fool never will." So that we think you, fir, a very proper person to addrefs to, fince we know you to be capable of being convinced, and changing your judg< ment. You are well able to fettle this affair, and to you we fubmit our caufe. We defire you to affign the butts and bounds of each of us; and that for the 'future we may both enjoy our own. We would de'fire to be heard by our counsel, but that we fear in their very pleadings they would betray our caufe; befides, we have been oppreffed fo many years, that we can appear no other way, but in forma pauperis. All which confidered, we hope you will be pleased to ⚫ do that which to right and juftice fhall appertain.

us,

R.

And your Petitioners, &c.'

N° 79.

Thursday, May 31.

Oderunt peccare boni virtutis amore.

HOR. Ep. I. xvi. 51.

CREECH.

The good, for virtue's fake, abhor to fin.

I HAVE received very many letters of late, from my

female correfpondents, moft of whom are very angry with me for abridging their pleasures, and looking feverely upon things in themselves indifferent. But I think they are extremely unjuft to me in this imputation; all that I contend for is, that those excellencies, which are to be regarded but in the fecond place, fhould not precede more weighty confiderations. The heart of man deceives him in fpite of the lectures of half a life spent in difcourfes on the fubjection of paffion; and I do not know why one may not think the heart of woman as unfaithful to itfelf. If we grant an equality in the faculties of both fexes, the minds of women are lefs cultivated with precepts, and confequently may, without difrefpect to them, be accounted more liable to illufion in cafes wherein natural inclination is out of the intereft of virtue. I fhall take up my prefent time in commenting upon a billet or two which came from ladies, and from thence leave the reader to judge whether I am in the right or not, in thinking it is poffible fine women may be mistaken.

The following address feems to have no other defign in it, but to tell me the writer will do what she pleases for all me.

་

Mr. SPECTATOR,

'I AM

young, and very much inclined to follow the paths of innocence; but at the fame time, as I have a ⚫ plentiful fortune, and am of quality, I am unwilling to refign the pleasures of diftinction, fome little

'fatisfaction in being admired in general, and much greater in being beloved by a gentleman, whom I defign to make my husband. But I have a mind to put off entering into matrimony till another winter is over my head, which, whatever, mufty fir, you may think ' of the matter, I defign to pafs away in hearing mufic, going to plays, vifiting, and all other fatisfactions which fortune and youth, protected by innocence and virtue, can procure for, Sir,

My lover does not know I like him; therefore, having no engagements upon me, I think to ftay and 'know whether I may not like any one elfe better.'

I have heard WILL HONEYCOMB fay, A woman ⚫ feldom writes her mind but in her poftfcript.' I think this gentlewoman has fufficiently discovered hers in this. I'll lay what wager fhe pleases against her prefent favourite, and can tell her that she will like ten more before he is fixed, and then will take the worst man the ever liked in her life. There is no end of affection taken in at the eyes only; and you may as well fatisfy thofe eyes with feeing, as control any paffion received by them only. It is from loving by fight that coxcombs fo frequently fucceed with women, and very often a young lady is bestowed by her parents to a man who weds her as innocence itself, though fhe has, in her own heart, given her approbation of a different man in every affembly fhe was in the whole year before. What is wanting among women, as well as among men, is the love of laudable things, and not to reft only in the forbearance of fuch as are reproachful.

How far removed from a woman of this light imagination is Eudofia! Eudofia has all the arts of life and good-breeding with so much ease, that the virtue of her conduct looks more like an instinct than choice. It is as little difficult to her to think juftly of perfons and things, as it is to a woman of different accomplishments to move ill or look aukward. That which was, at first, the effect of inftruction, is grown into an habit; and it

N° 79.

Thursday, May 31.

Oderunt peccare boni virtutis amore.

HOR. Ep. I. xvi. 51.

The good, for virtue's fake, abhor to fin.

I HAVE

CREECH.

HAVE received very many letters of late, from my female correfpondents, moft of whom are very angry with me for abridging their pleasures, and looking feverely upon things in themselves indifferent. But I think they are extremely unjuft to me in this imputation; all that I contend for is, that those excellencies, which are to be regarded but in the fecond place, fhould not precede more weighty confiderations. The heart of man deceives him in fpite of the lectures of half a life spent in discourses on the subjection of paffion; and I do not know why one may not think the heart of woman as unfaithful to itfelf. If we grant an equality in the faculties of both fexes, the minds of women are less cultivated with precepts, and confequently may, without difrefpect to them, be accounted more liable to illusion in cafes wherein natural inclination is out of the intereft of virtue. I fhall take up my present time in commenting upon a billet or two which came from ladies, and from thence leave the reader to judge whether I am in the right or not, in thinking it is poffible fine women may be mistaken.

The following address seems to have no other defign in it, but to tell me the writer will do what she pleases for all me.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

'I AM young, and very much inclined to follow the paths of innocence; but at the fame time, as I have a plentiful fortune, and am of quality, I am unwilling to refign the pleafures of diftinétion, fome little