vert. the little ceremony which was used towards God Almighty; but, at the same time, he feared he should not be able to go through those required towards one another; as to this point he was in a state of despair, and feared he was not well-bred enough to be a conThere have been many scandals of this kind given to our Protestant dissenters from the outward pomp and respect we take to ourselves in our religious assemblies. A Quaker, who came one day into a church, fixed his eye upon an old lady with a carpet larger than that from the pulpit before her, expecting when she would hold forth. An Anabaptist, who designs to come over himself, and all his family, within a few months, is sensible they want breeding enough for our congregations, and has sent his two eldest daughters to learn to dance, that they may not misbehave themselves at church. It is worth considering, whether in regard to awkward people with scrupulous consciences, a good Christian of the best air in the world ought not rather to deny herself the opportunity of shewing so many graces, than keep a bashful proselyte without the pale of the church (a). T. No. 260. FRIDAY, December 28, 1711. BY STEELE AND OTHERS. Singula de nobis anni prædantur euntes, HOR. Ep. 2. 1. 2. v. 55. Years following years steal something every day; At last they steal us from ourselves away. «I "Mr. SPECTATOR, POPE. AM now in the sixty-fifth year of my age, and having been the greater part of my days a man of plea The sure, the decay of my faculties is a stagnation of my life. But how is it, Sir, that my appetites are increased upon me with the loss of power to gratify them? I write this like a criminal, to warn people to enter upon what reformation they please to make in themselves in their youth, and not expect they shall be capable of it, from a fond opinion some have often in their mouths, that if we do not leave our desires, they will leave us. It is far otherwise; I am now as vain in my dress, and as flippant if I see a pretty woman, as when in my youth I stood upon a bench in the pit to survey the whole circle of beauties. folly is so extravagant with me, I went on with so little check of my desires, or resignation of them, that I can assure you, I very often, merely to entertain my own thoughts, sit with my spectacles on writing love letters to the beauties that have been long since in their graves. This is to warm my heart with the faint memory of delights which were once agreeable to me but how much happier would my life have been now, if I could have looked back on any worthy action done for my country? If I had laid out that which I profused in luxury and wantonness, in acts of generosity or charity? I have lived a bachelor to this day, and instead of a numerous offspring, with which, in the regular ways of life, I might possibly have delighted myself, I have only to amuse myself with the repetition of old stories and intrigues, which no one will believe I ever was concerned in. I do not know whether you have ever treated of it or not; but you cannot fall on a better subject than that of the art of growing old. In such a lecture you must propose, that no one set his heart upon what is transient the beauty grows wrinkled while we are yet gazing at her. The witty man sinks into a humorist : imperceptibly, for want of reflecting, that all things around him are in a flux, and continually changing : thus he is, in the space of ten or fifteen years, surrounded by a new set of people, whose manners are as natural to them as his delights, method of thinking, and mode of living, were formerly to him and his friends. But the mischief is, he looks upon the same kind of errors which he himself was guilty of with an eye of scorn, and with that sort of ill-will which men entertain against each other for different opinions. Thus a crazy constitution and an uneasy mind is fretted with vexatious passions for young men's doing foolishly what it is folly to do at all. Dear Sir, this is my present state of mind; I hate those I should laugh at, and envy those I contemn. The time of youth and vigorous manhood, passed the way in which I have disposed of it, is attended with these consequences; but to those who live and pass away life as they ought, all parts of it are equally pleasant; only the memory of good and worthy actions is a feast which must give a quicker relish to the soul than ever it could possibly taste in the highest enjoyments or jollities of youth. As for me, if I sit down in my great arm chair and begin to ponder, the vagaries of a child are not more ridiculous than the circumstances which are heaped up in my memory; fine gowns, country-dances, ends of tunes, interrupted conversations, and midnight quarrels, are what must necessarily compose my soliloquy. I beg of you to print this, that some ladies of my ac quaintance, and my years, may be persuaded to wear -warm night-caps this cold season; and that my old friend, Jack Tawdry, may buy him a cane, and not creep with the air of a strut. I must add to all this, that if it were not for one pleasure, which I thought a very mean one till of very late years, I should have no one great satisfaction left; but if I live to the tenth of March 1714, and all my securities are good, I shall be worth fifty thousand pounds. I am, "Sir, "Your most humble servant, "MR. SPECTATOR, "JACK AFTERDAY." "You will infinitely oblige a distressed lover, if you will insert in your very next paper the following letter to my mistress. You must know, I am not a person apt to despair, but she has got an odd humor of stopping short unaccountably, and as she herself told a confidant of hers, she has cold fits. These fits shall last her a month or six weeks together; and as she falls into them without provocation, so it is to be hoped she will return from them without the merit of new services. But life and love will not admit of such intervals; therefore pray let her be admonished as follows: "MADAM, "I LOVE you, and I honor you; therefore pray do not tell me of waiting till decencies, till forms, till humors, are consulted and gratified. If you have. that happy constitution as to be indolent for ten weeks together, you should consider that all that while I burn with impatiencies and fevers; but still you say it will be time enough, though I and you too grow older while we are yet talking. Which do you think the more reasonable, that you should alter a state of indifference for happiness, and that to oblige me; or I live in torment, and that to lay no manner of obligation upon you? While I indulge your insensibility, I am doing nothing; if you favor my passion, VOL. V. B you are bestowing bright desires, gay hopes, generous cares, noble resolutions, and transporting rap tures, upon, "Your most devoted humble servant." "MR. SPECTATOR, "HERE is a gentlewoman lodges in the same house with me, that I never did any injury to in my whole life; and she is always railing at me to those that she knows will tell me of it. Don't you think she is in love with me? Or would you have me break my mind yet or not? "Your servant, "MR. SPECTATOR, "T.B." "I AM a footman in a great family, and am in love with the house-maid. We were all at hot-cockles last night in the hall these holidays; when I lay down and was blinded, she pulled off her shoe and hit me with the heel such a rap as almost broke my head to pieces. Pray, Sir, was this love or spite ?" T No. 261. SATURDAY, December 29, 1711. BY ADDISON. Γαμος γαρ ανθρωποισιν ευκταίον κακον. Wedlock's an ill men eagerly embrace. My father, whom I mentioned in Frag. Vet. Poet. my first specu lation, and whom I must always name with honor and gratitude, has very frequently talked to me up |