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Fang. Sir John, I arrest you at the suit of SCENE I.-London. A street.
Fal. Away, varlets !-Draw, Bardolph ; cut Enter Hostess ; Fang, and his Boy, with her ;
me off the villain's head ; throw the quean in and SNARE following:
the channel. Host. Master Fang, have you entered the Host. Throw me in the channel ? I'll throw action ?
thee in the channel. Wilt thou ? wilt thou ? Fang. It is entered.
thou bastardly rogue !-Murder, murder! 0, Host. Where is your yeoman? Is it a lusty thou honey-suckle villain! wilt thou kill God's yeoman? will a' stand to't ?
officers, and the king's ? O thou honey-seed Fang. Sirrah, where's Snare ?
rogue ! thou art a honey-seed; a man-queller, Host. O lord, ay: good master Snare. and a woman-queller. Snare. Here, here.
Fal. Keep them off, Bardolph. Fang. Snare, we must arrest sir John Falstaff. Fang. A rescue! a rescue !
Host. Yea, good master Snare; I have entered Host. Good people, bring a rescue or two. him and all.
Thou wo't, wo't thou ? thou wo't, wo't thou ? Snare. It may chance cost some of us our lives, do, do, thou rogue ! do, thou hemp-seed ! for he will stab.
Fal. Away, you scullion! you rampallian! Host. Alas the day! take heed of him; he you fustilarian ! I'll tickle your catastrophe. stabbed me in mine own house, and that most beastly: in good faith, a' cares not what mis'
Enter the Lord Chief Justice, attended. chief he doth, if his weapon be out: he will Ch. Just. What's the matter ? keep the peace foin like any devil; he will spare neither man, here, ho ! woman, nor child.
Host. Good my lord, be good to me! I beFang. If I can close with him, I care not for seech you, stand to me! his thrust.
Ch. Just. How now, sir John ? what, are you Host. No, nor I neither : I'll be at your elbow. brawling here? Fung. An I but fist him once; an a' come but Doth this become your place, your time, and within my vice ;
business? Host. I am undone by his going ; I warrant You should have been wellon your way to York.you, he's an infinitive thing upon my score :- Stand from him, fellow; Wherefore hang’st thou Good master Fang, hold him sure ;-good mas
on him? ter Snare, let him not ’scape. He comes conti- Host. O my most worshipful lord, an't please nuantly to Pie-corner, (saving your manhoods,) your grace, I am a poor widow of Eastcheap, and to buy a saddle ; and he's indíted to dinner to is arreste
at my suit. the lubbar's head in Lumbert-street, to master Ch. Just. For what sum? Smooth's the silkman : I pray ye, since my exion Host. It is more than for some, my lord; it is is entered, and my case so openly known to the for all, all I have: he hath eaten me out of house world, let him be brought in to his answer. A and home; he hath put all my substance into hundred mark is a long loan for a poor lone wo- that fat belly of his :-but I will have some of man to bear: and I have borne, and borne, and it out again, or I'll ride thee o'nights, like the borne ; and have been fubbed off, and fubbed off, mare. and fubbed off, from this day to that day, that it Fal. I think, I am as like to ride the mare, if is a shame to be thought on. There is no ho- I have any vantage of ground to get up. nesty in such dealing ; unless a woman should Ch. Just. How comes this, sir John? Fye! be made an ass, and a beast, to bear every knave's what man of good temper would endure this wrong.-
tempest of exclamation ? Are you not ashamed,
to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to Enter Sir John Falstaff, Page, and Bar
come by her own?
Fal. What is the gross sum that I owe thee ? Yonder he comes; and that arrant malmsey-nose Host. Marry, if thou wert an honest man, knave, Bardolph, with him. Do your offices, do thyself, and thy money too. Thou didst swear your offices, master Fang, and master Snare ; do to me upon a parcel-gilt goblet, sitting in my me, do me, do me your offices.
Dolphin-chamber, at the round table, hy a seaFal. How now? whose mare's dead? what's coal fire, upon Wednesday in Whitsun-week, the matter?
when the prince broke thy head for liking his
father to a singing-man of Windsor ; thou didst must be fain to pawn both my plate, and the taswear to me then, as I was washing thy wound, pestry of my dining-chambers. to marry me, and make me my lady thy wife. Fal
. Glasses, glasses, iš the only drinking: Canst thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech, and for thy walls,-a pretty slight drollery, or the butcher's wife, come in then, and call me the story of the prodigal, or the German huntgossip Quickly? coming in to borrow a mess of ing in water-work, is worth a thousand of these vinegar ; telling us, she had a good dish of bed-hangings, and these fly-bitten tapestries. prawns; whereby thou didst desire to eat some; Let it be ten pound, if thou canst. Come, an whereby I told thee, they were ill for a green it were not for thy humours, there is not a bet. wound? And didst thou not, when she was gone ter wench in England. Go, wash thy face, and down stairs, desire me to be no more so fami- 'draw thy action : Come, thou must not be in liarity with such poor people ; saying, that ere this humour with me; dost not know me? long they should call me madam? And didst Come, come, I know thou wast set on to this. thou not kiss me, and bid me fetch thee thirty Host. Pray thee, sir John, let it be but twenshillings? I put thee now to thy book-oath; ty nobles ; i'faith I am loath to pawn my plate, deny it, if thou canst.
in good earnest, la. Ful. My lord, this is a poor mad soul; and Fal. Let it alone ; I'W make other shift: you? she says, up and down the town, that her eldest be a fool still. son is like you: she hath been in good case, and, Host. Well, you shall have it, though I pawn the truth is, poverty hath distracted her. But my gown. I hope, you'll come to supper: You'll for these foolish officers, I beseech you, I may pay me all together? have redress against them.
Fal. Wil I live ?-Go, with her, with her; Ch. Just. Sir John, sir John, I am well ac- [To Bardolph.] hook on, hook on. quainted with your manner of wrenching the Host. Will you have Doll Tear-sheet meet true cause the false way. It is not a confident you at supper ? brow, nor the throng of words, that come with Fal. No more words : let's have her. such more than impudent sauciness from you,
[Ereunt Hostess, Bardolph, Officers, can thrust me from a level consideration ; you
and Page. have, as it appears to me, practised upon the Ch. Just. I have heard better news. easy-yielding spirit of this woman, and made Fal. What's the news, my good lord ? her serve your uses both in purse and person. Ch. Just. Where lay the king last night? Host. Yea, in troth, my lord.
Gow. At Basingstoke, my lord. Ch. Just. Pr’ythee, peace :-Pay her the debt Fal. I hope, my lord, all's well: What's the you owe her, and unpay the villainy you have news, my lord ? done with her; the one you may do with ster- Ch. Just. Come all his forces back ? ling money, and the other with current repent- Gou. No; fifteen hundred foot, five hundred
horse, Fal. My lord, I will not undergo this sneap Are march'd up to my lord of Lancaster, without reply. You call honourable boldness, Against Northumberland, and the archbishop. impudent sauciness : if a man will make court'sy, Fal. Comes the king back from Wales, my and say nothing, he is virtuous : No, my lord, noble lord ? my humble duty remembered, I will not be your Ch. Just. You shall have letters of me presuitor ; I say to you, I do desire deliverance from sently : these officers, being upon hasty employment in Come, go along with me, good master Gower. the king's affairs.
Fal. My lord ! Ch. Just. You speak as having power to do Ch. Just. What's the matter? wrong: but answer in the effect of your reputa- Ful. Master Gower, shall I entreat you with tion, and satisfy the poor woman.
me to dinner? Fal. Come hither, hostess.
Gow. I must wait upon my good lord here: [Taking her aside. I thank you, good Sir John.
Ch. Just. Sir John, you loiter here too long, Enter GOWER.
being you are to take soldiers up in counties as
you go. Ch. Just. Now, master Gower; What news? Ful. Will you sup with me, master Gower? Gow. The king, my lord, and Harry prince of Ch. Just. What foolish master taught you Wales
these manners, sir John ? Are near at hand : the rest the paper tells. Fal. Master Gower, if they become me not, Fal. As I am a gentleman ;
he was a fool that taught them me. This is the Host. Nay, you said so before.
right fencing grace, my lord; tap for tap, and so Fal. As I am a gentleman ;-Come, no more part fair. words of it.
Ch. Just. Now the Lord lighten thee! thou Host. By this heavenly ground I tread on, I art a great fool.
Poins. I would think thee a most princely SCENE II.-The same. Another street. hypocrite.
P. Hen. It would be every man's thought: Enter Prince HENRY and Porns. and thou art a blessed fellow, to think as every P. Hen. Trışt me, I am exceeding weary., man thinks; never a man's thought in the world
Poins. Is it come to that? I had thought, keeps the road-way better than thine: every man weariness durst not have attached one of so high would think me an hypocrite indeed. And what blood.
accites your most worshipful thought, to think P. Hen. 'Faith, it does me; though it disco- so ? lours the complexion of my greatness to acknow- Poins. Why, because you have been so lewd, ledge it. Doth it not show vilely in me, to de- and so much engraffed to Falstaff. sire small beer?
P. Hen. And to thee. Puins, Why, a prince should not be so loosely Poins. By this light, I am well spoken of, I studied, as to remember so weak a composition. can hear it with my own ears: the worst that
P. Hen. Belike then, my appetite was not they can say of me is, that I am a second broprincely got ; for, by my troth, I do now re- ther, and that I am a proper fellow of my hands; member the poor creature, small beer. But, in- and those two things, I confess, I cannot help. deed, these humble considerations make me out By the inass, here comes Barilolph. of love with my greatness. What a disgrace is P. Hen. And the boy that I gave Falstaff: he it to me to reinember thy name? or to know thy had him from me christian ; and look, if the fat face to-morrow? or to take note how many pair villain have not transformed him ape. of silk stockings thou hast ; viz. these, and those
Enter BARDOLPI and Page. that were the peach-coloured ones ? or to bear the inventory of thy shirts; as, one for super- Bard. 'Save your grace ! fluity, and one other for use ? -—but that, the P. Hen. And yours, most noble Bardolph ! tennis-court keeper knows better than I ; for it Bard. Come, you virtuous ass, [To the Page.] is a low ebb of linen with thee, when thou keep you bashful fool, must you be blushing? whereest not racket there; as thou hast not done a fore blush you now? What a maidenly man at great while, because the rest of thy low-countries arms are you become? Is it such a matter, to have made a shift to eat up thy holland : and get a pottle-pot's maidenhead? God knows, whether those, that bawl out the Puge. He called me even now, my lord, through ruins of thy linen, shall inherit his kingdom: a red lattice, and I could discern no part of his but the midwives say, the children are not in face from the window: at last, I spied his eyes; the fault ; whereupon the world increases, and and, methought, he had made two holes in the kindreds are mightily strengthened.
ale-wite's new petticoat, and peeped through. Poins. How ill it follows, after you have la- P. Hen. Hath not the boy profited ? boured so hard, you should talk so idly? Tell Bard. Away, you whoreson upright rabbit, me, how many good young princes would do so, away! their fathers being so sick as yours at this time Page. Away, you rascally Althea's dream, is ?
P. Hen. Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins ? P. Hen. Instruct us, boy: What dream, boy?
Poins. Yes, and let it be an excellent good Page. Marry, my lord, Althea dreamed she thing.
was delivered of a fire-brand ; and therefore I P. Hen. It shall serve among wits of no higher call him her dream. breeding than thine.
P. Hen. A crown's worth of good interpretaPoins. Go to; I stand the push of your one tion.—There it is, boy. [Gives him money. thing that you will'tell.
Poins. O, that this good blossom could be kept P. Hen. Why, I tell thee,,it is not meet, from cankers !-Well, there is sixpence to prethat I should be sad, now my father is sick: al- serve thee. beit I could tell to thee, (as to one it pleases me, Bard. An you do not make him be hanged for fault of a better, to call my friend,) I could among you, the gallows shall have wrong; be sad, and sad indeed too.
P. Hen. And how doth thy master, Bardolph ? Poins. Very hardly, upon such a subject. Bard. Well, my lord. He heard of your grace's
P. Hen. By this hand, thou think'st me as coming to town; there's a letter for you. far in the devil's book, as thou, and Falstaff, for Poins. Deliver'd with good respect.-And how obduracy and persistency : Let the end try the cloth the martlemas, your master ? man. But I tell thee,-my heart hleeds inward- Bard. In bodily health, sir. ly, that my father is so sick: and keeping such Puins. Marry, the immortal part needs a phyvile
company as thou art, hath in reason taken sician: but that inoves not him; though that from me all'ostentation of sorrow.
be sick, it dies not. Poins. The reason ?
P. Hen. I do allow this wen to be as familiar P. Hen. What would'st thou think of me, if with me as my dog : and he holds his place ; for, I should weep?
| look you, how he writes.
Poins. [Reads.] John Falstaff, knight, Poins. I warrant you, as common as the way Every man must know that, as oft as he has oc- between Saint Alban's and London. casion to name himself. Even like those, that P. Hen. How might we see Falstaff bestow are kin to the king; for they never prick their himself to-night in his true colours, and not ourfinger, but they say, There is some of the king's selves be seen? blood spilt: How comes that? says he, that takes Poins. Put on two leather jerkins, and aprons, upon him not to conceive: the answer is as ready and wait upon him at his table as drawers as a borrower's cap; I am the king's poor cousin, P. Hen. From a god to a bull ? a heavy desir.
scension ! it was Jove's case. From a prince to P. Hen. Nay, they will be kin to us, or they a prentice ? a low transformation that shall be will fetch it from Japhet. But the letter :- mine : for, in every thing, the purpose must
Poins. Sir John Falstaff, knight, to the son of weigh with the folly. Follow me, Ned. the king, nearest his father, Harry prince of
[Ezeuat. Wales, greeting.--Why, this is a certificate. P. Hen. Peace!
SCENE III.-Warkworth. Before the castie. Poins. I will imitate the honourable Roman in brevity:-he sure means brevity in breath; short
Enter NORTHUMBERLAND, Lady Normaty. winded.-1 commend me to thee, I commend thee,
BERLAND, and Lady PERCY. and I leave thee. Be not too familiar with Poins ; North. I pray thee, loving wife, and gentle for he misuses thy favours so much, that he swears, daughter, thou art to marry his sister Nell. Repent at idle Give even way unto my rough affairs : times as thou may'st, and so farewell.
Put not you on the visage of the times,
as to say, as thou usest him,) Jack Fal- Lady N. I have given over, I will speak no
North. Alas, sweet wife, my honour is at pawn; My lord, I will steep this letter in sack, and make And, but my going, nothing can redeem it. him eat it.
Lady P. O, yet,
sake, go not to these P. Hen. That's to make him eat twenty of his words. But do you use me thus, Ned ? 'must I The time was, father, that you broke your word, marry your sister?
When you were more endear'd to it than now; Poins. May the wench have no worse fortune! When your own Percy, when my heart's dear but I never said so.
Harry, P. Hen. Well, thus we play the fools with the Threw many a northward look, to see his father time; and the spirits of the wise sit in the clouds, Bring up his powers; but he did long in vain. and mock us. Is your master here in London? Who then persuaded you to stay at home? Bard. Yes, my lord.
There were two honours lost ; your's, and your P. Hen. Where sups he? doth the old boar son's. feed in the old frank ?
For yours,--may heavenly glory brighten it! Bard. At the old place, my lord ; in Eastcheap. For his,-it stuck upon him, as the sun P. Hen. What company ?
In the grey vault of heaven : and, by his light, Page. Ephesians, my lord; of the old church. Did all the chivalry of England move P. Hen. Sup any women with him ? To do brave acts ; he was, indeed, the glass
Page. None, my lord, but old mistress Quick- Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves. ly, and mistress Doll Tear-sheet.
He had no legs, that practis'd not his gait: P. Hen. What pagan may that be?
And speaking thick, which nature made his bloPage. A proper gentlewoman, sir, and a kins- mish, woman of my master's.
Became the accents of the valiant; P. Hen. Éven such kin, as the parish heifers For those, that could speak low, and tardily, are to the town bull.—Shall we steal upon them, Would turn their own perfection to abuse, Ned, at supper?
To seem like him : So that, in speech, in gait, Poins. I am your shadow, my lord ; I'll follow In diet, in affections of delight, you.
In military rules, humours of blood, P. Hen. Sirrah, you boy,-and Bardolph ;- He was the mark and glass, copy and book, no word to your master, that I am yet come to That fashion'd others. And him,-0 wondrous town: There's for your silence.
him ! Bard. I have no tongue, sir,
O miracle of men !-him did you leave, Page. And for mine, sir,- I will govern it. (Second to none, unseconded by you,)
P. Hen. Fare ye well ; go. [Exeunt Burdolph To look upon the hideous god of war and Page.]-This Doll Tear-sheet should be in disadvantage, to abide a field, some road."
Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur's name
Did seem defensible :-50 you left him:
2 Draw. I'll see if I can find out Sneak. Never, 0 never, do his ghost the wrong,
[Erit. To hold your honour more precise and
Enter Hostess and Doll TEARSHEET. With others, than with him; let them alone; The marshal, and the archbishop, are strong :
Host. I'faith, sweet heart, methinks now you Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers, are in an excellent good temperality: your pulTo-day might I, hanging on Hotspur's neck, sidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would deHave talk'd of Monmouth's grave.
sire; and your colour, I warrant you, is as red North. Beshrew your heart,
as any rose : But, i'faith, you have drunk too Fair daughter ! you do draw my spirits from me, much canaries; and that's a marvellous searchWith new lamenting ancient oversights. ing wine, and it perfumes the blood ere one can But I must go, and meet with danger there; say,-What's this? How do you now? Or it will seek me in another place,
Dol. Better than I was. Hem. And find me worse provided.
Host. Why, that's well said ; a good heart's Lady N. 0, fly to Scotland,
worth gold. Look, here comes sir John. Till that the nobles, and the armed commons, Have of their puissance made a little taste.
Enter FALSTAFF, singing. Lady P. If they get ground and vantage of Fal. When Arthur first in court-Empty the the king,
jordan.--And was a worthy king: [Exit DrawThen join you with them, like a rib of steel, er.] How now, mistress Doll To make strength stronger; but, for all our loves, Host. Sick of a calm : yea, good sooth. First let them try themselves : So did your son ;
Fal. So is all her sect; an they be once in a He was so suffer'd ; so came I a widow ; calm, they are sick. And never shall have length of life enough, Dol. You muddy rascal, is that all the comfort To rain upon remembrance with mine eyes, you give me? That it may grow and sprout as high as heaven, Fal. You make fat rascals, mistress Doll. For recordation to my noble husband.
Dol. I make them! gluttony and diseases make North. Come, come, go in with me: 'tis with them; I make them not. my mind,
Fal. If the cook help to make the gluttony, As with the tide, swell’d up unto its height, you help to make the diseases, Doll : we catch of That makes a still-stand, running neither way. you, Doll, we catch of you ; grant that, my poor Fain would I go to meet the archbishop, virtue, grant that. But many thousand reasons hold me back :- Dol. Ay, marry ; our chains and our jewels. I will resolve for Scotland ; there am I,
Fal. Your brooches, pearls, and owches ; -for Till time and vantage crave my company:
to serve bravely, is to come halting off, you know: [Exeunt. To come off the breach with his pike bent brave
ly, and to surgery bravely; to venture upon the SCENE IV.-London. A room in the Boar's charged chambers bravely:
Dol. Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang Head Tavern, in Eastcheap.
yourself! Enter two Drawers.
Host. By my troth, this is the old fashion ;
you two never meet, but you fall to some dis1 Draw. What the devil hast thou brought cord: you are both, in good troth, as rheumatic there? apple-Johns? thou know'st, sir John as two dry toasts ; you cannot one bear with ancannot endure an apple-John.
other's confirmities. What the good-year ! one 2 Draw. Mass, thou sayest true: The prince must bear, and that must be you: [To Doll.] once set a dish of apple-Johns before him, and you are the weaker vessel, as they say, the emptold him, there were five more sir Johns: and, tier vessel. putting off his hat, said, I will now take my leave Dol. Can a weak empty vessel bear such a of these six dry, round, old, withered knights
. huge full hogshead ? there's a whole merchant's It angered him to the heart; but he hath forgot venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him ; you have that.
not seen a hulk better stuffed in the hold.1 Draw. Why then, cover, and set them down: Come, I'll be friends with thee, Jack : thou art And see if thou canst find out Sneak’s noise ; going to the wars; and whether I shall ever see mistress Tear-sheet would fain hear some music. thee again, or no, there is nobody cares. Despatch :-The room where they supped, is too
Re-enter Drawer. hot; they'll come in straight.
2 Draw. Sirrah, here will be the prince, and Draw. Sir, ancient Pistol's below, and would master Poins anon: and they will put on two of speak with you. our jerkins, and aprons; and sir John must not Dol. Hang him, swaggering rascal ! let him know of it: Bardolph hath brought word. not come hither: it is the foul mouth'dst rogue
i Draw. By the mass, here will be old utis: in England. It will be an excellent stratagem.
Host. If he swagger, let him not come here :