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Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the | But such a headstrong potent fault it is, blow of the law.
That it but mocks reproof. Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in
Vio. With the same 'haviour, that your pasmy sight she uses thee kindly : but thou liest in
sion bears, thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee Go on my master's griefs. for.
Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense picture; less.
Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you: Sir To. I will way-luy thee going home; And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow. where if it be thy chance to kill me,
What shall you ask of me, that I'll deny; Fab. Good.
That honour, sav'd, may upon asking give ? Sir To. Thou killest me like a rogue and a l'io. Nothing but this, your true love for my villain.
Fab. Stiil you keep o' the windy side of the Oli. How with mine honour may I give him la: Good.
that, Sir To. Fare thee well; And God have mercy Which I have given to you? apon one of our souls ! He may have mercy upon
l'io. I will acquit you. mine ; but my hope is better, and so look to thy Oli. Well, come again to-morrow: Fare thee self. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy well: suurn enemy. ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK.
A fiend, like thee, might bear my soul to hell. Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs
[Erit. cannot: I'll give't him. Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't ;
Re-enter Sir Toby Belch, and Fabian. he is now in some commerce with my lady, and Sir To. Gentlemani, God save thee. will by and by depart.
Vio. And you, sir. Sir To. Go, sir Andrew ; scout me for him Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee at the corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff: to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast so soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full thou drawest, swear horrible; for it comes to of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee pass oft, that a terrible oath, with a swaggering at the orchard end: dismount thy tuck, be yare accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, approbation than ever proof itself would have skilful, and deadly. earned him. Away.
Vio. You mistake, sir ; I am sure, no man Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is
[Exit. very free and clear from any image of offence Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: for done to any man. the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure out to be of good capacity and breeding; his you: therefore, if you hold your life at any employment between his lord and my niece con- price, betake you to your guard; for your oppofirms no less; therefore this letter, being so ex site hath in him what youth, strength, skill, cellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the and wrath, can furnish man withal. youth, he will find it comes from a clodpole. Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he? But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked mouth; set upon Ague-cheek a notable report rapier, and on carpet consideration ; but he is a of valour ; and drive the gentleman, (as, I know, devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he his youth will aptly receive it,) into a most hi- divorced three ; and his incensement at this modeous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and impe- ment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be tuosity. This will so fright them both, that none but by pangs of death and sepulchre: hob, they will kill one another by the look, like nob, is his word; give't, or take’t. cockatrices.
Vio. I will return again into the house, and
desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fightEnter OLIVIA and VIOLA.
er. I have heard of some kind of men, that put Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give quarrels purposely on others, to taste their vathem way, till he take leave, and presently after lour: belike, this is a man of that quirk. him.
Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some out of a very competent injury; therefore, get horrid message for a challenge.
you on, and give him his desire. [Ereunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria. shall not to the house, unless you undertake Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of that with me, which with as much safety you stone,
might answer him: therefore, on, or strip your And laid mine honour too unchary out : sword stark naked; for mcddle you must, that's There's something in me, that reproves my certain, or forswear to wear iron about you. fault;
l'io. This is as uncivil, as strange. I be
seech you, do me this courteous office, as to the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have know of the knight what my offence to him is; one bout with you ; he cannot by the duello it is something of my negligence, nothing of my avoid it: but he has promised me, as he is a purpose.
gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Sir To. I will do so.-Signior Fabian, stay Come on; to't. you by this gentleman till my return.
Sir And. Pray God he keep his oath! [Erit Sir Toby.
[Draws. Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?
Enter ANTONIO. Fab. I know, the knight is incensed against
Vio. I do assure you, 'tis against my will. you, even to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing
[Draus. of the circumstance more.
Ant. Put up your sword:-If this young genVio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he? tleman
Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to Have done offence, I take the fault on me; read him by his form, as you are like to find If you offend him, I for him defy you. him in the proof of his valour. He is, indeed,
[Drawing sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite, Sir To. You, sir? why, what are you? that you could possibly have found in any part
Ant. One, sir, that for his love dares yet do of Illyria: Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can.
you have heard him brag to you he will. Vio. I shall be much bound to you for’t: I
Sir To. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am am one, that would rather go with sir priest, for you.
[Draus. than sir knight: I care not who knows so much of my mettle.
Enter two Officers. Re-enter Sir Toby with Sir Andrew.
Fab. O good sir Toby, hold; here come the Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil ; I have officers. not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, Sir To. I'll be with you anon.
[To Antonio. rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the Vio. Pray, sir, put up your sword, if you stuck-in with such a mortal motion, that it is please.
[To Sir Andrew. inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as Sir And. Marry, will I, sir ;-and, for that I surely as your feet hit the ground they step on: promised you, I'll be as good as my word: He They say, he has been fencer to the Sophy. will bear you easily, and reins well.
Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him. 1 Off: This is the man ; do thy office.
Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: 2 Off. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit Fabian can scarce hold him yonder.
Of count Orsino. Sir And. Plague on't ; an I thought he had Ant. You do mistake me, sir. been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have i of: No, sir, no jot; I know your favour seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him. well, Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my Though now you have no sea-cap on your head. horse, grey Capilet.
Take him away; he knows, I know him well. Sir To. I'll make the motion : Stand here, Ant. I must obey.—This comes with seeking make a good show on't; this shall end without
you; the perdition of souls: Marry, I'll ride your But there's no remedy; I shall answer it. horse as well as I ride you.
[Aside. What will you do? Now my necessity
Makes me to ask you for my purse: It grieves Re-enter FABIAN and Viola. I have his horse [to Fab.) to take up the quar- Much more, for what I cannot do for you, rel; I have persuaded him the youth's a devil. Than what befalls myself. You stand amaz’d;
Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and But be of comfort. pants, and looks pale, as if a bear were at his 2 Off: Come, sir, away. heels.
Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money. Sir To. There's no remedy, sir; he will fight Vio. What money, sir? with you for his oath sake: marry, he hath For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, better bethought him of his quarrel, and he And part, being prompted by your present trouble, finds that now scarce to be worth talking of: Out of my lean and low ability therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; I'll lend you something: my having is not much ; he protests, he will not hurt you.
I'll make division of my present with you : Vio. Pray God defend me ! A little thing Hold, there is half my coffer. would make me tell them how much I lack of Ant. Will you deny me now? a man.
[Aside. Is't possible, that my deserts to you Fah. Give ground, if you see him furious. Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, Sir To. Come, sir Andrew, there's no remedy; | Lest that it make me so unsound a man,
As to upbraid you with those kindnesses
Vio. Methinks, his words do from such pasThat I have done for you.
sion fly, Pio. I know of none;
That he believes himself; so do not I. Nor know I you by voice, or any feature: Prove true, imagination, 0, prove true, I hate ingratitude more in a man,
That I, dear brother, be now ta’en for you! Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, Or any taint of vice, whose strong corruption Fabian ; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of Inhabits our frail blood.
most sage saws. Ant. O heavens themselves !
Vio. He nam'd Sebastian ; I my brother know 2 Off. Come, sir, I pray you, go.
Yet living in my glass ; even such, and so, Ant. Let me speak a little. This youth, that in favour was my brother; and he went you see here,
Still in this fashion, colour, ornament, I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death ; For him I imitate: O, if it prove, Reliev'd him with such sanctity of love, Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love! And to his image, which, methought, did pro
Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more Most venerable worth, did I devotion. a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears, in i Off. What's that to us? The time goes by; leaving his friend here in necessity, and denying away.
him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian. Ant. But, o, how vile an idol proves this Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, religod.
gious in it. Thou hast, Sebastian, done good featureshame. Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat In nature there's no blemish, but the mind; him. None can be call'd deform’d, but the unkind : Sir To. Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw Virtue is beauty; but the beauteous-evil thy sword. Are empty trunks, o’erflourish'd by the devil. Sir And. An I do not,
Erit. 1 Of The man grows mad; away with him. Fab. Come, let's see the event. Come, come, sir.
Sir To. I dare lay any money, 'twill be noAnt. Lead me on.
[Ereunt. [Exeunt Officers with Antonio.
SCENE I.-The street before Olivia's house. Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand:
These wise men, that give fools money, get Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown.
themselves a good report after fourteen years Clo. Will you make me believe, that I am purchase. not sent for you? Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow;
Enter Sir ANDREW, Sir Toby, and FABIAN. Let me be clear of thee.
Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? Clo. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not there's for you.
[Striking Sebastian. know you ; nor I am not sent to you by my Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and lady, to bid you come speak with her ; nor your there: name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my Are all the people mad? [Beating Sir Andrew. Dose neither.Nothing, that is so, is so.
Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger Seb. I pr’ythee, vent thy folly somewhere else; o'er the house. Thou know'st not me.
Clo. This will I tell my lady straight: I would Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word not be in some of your coats for two-pence. of some great man, and now applies it to a fool,
Érit Clown. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. the world, will prove a cockney.--I pr’ythee
[Holding Sebastian. now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another I shall vent to my lady ; Shall I vent to her, way to work with him ; I'll have an action of that thou art coming ?
battery against him, if there be any law in IlSeb. I pr’ythee, foolish Greek, depart from lyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matme;
ter for that. There's money for thee; if you tarry longer, Seb. Let go thy hand. I shall give worse payment,
Sir To. Come, sir, I will not let you go VOL.I.
Come, my young soldier, put up your iron : you Sir To To him, sir Topas. are well Heshed; coine on.
Clo. What, hoa, I say,Peace in this prison ! Seb. I will be free from thec. What would'st Sir To. The knave counterfeits well ; a good thou now?
knave. If thou dar’st tempt me further, draw thy sword. Mal. [in an inner chamber.] Who calls there?
Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Sir To. What, what? Nay, then I must have Malvolio, the lunatic. an ounce or two of this malapert blood from Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go you.
[Draws. to my lady.
Cio. Out, hyperbolical fiend ! how vexest thou Enter OLIVIA.
this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Oli. Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee, Sir To. Well said, master parson. hold.
Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: Sir To. Madam?
good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they Oli. Will it be ever thus ? Ungracious wretch, have laid me here in hideous darkness. Fit for the mountains, and the barbarous caves, Clo. Fye, thou dishonest Sathan ! I call thee Where manners ne'er were preach'd ! out of my by the most modest terms ; for I am one of sight !
those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself Be not offended, dear Cesario :
with courtesy : Say'st thou, that house is dark? Rudesby, be gone!- I pr’ythee, gentle friend, Mal. As hell, sir Topas.
[ Excunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the In this uncivil and unjust extent
south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet Against thy peace. Go with me to my house ; complainest thou of obstruction ! And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas ; I say to you, This ruffian hath botch'd up, that thou thereby this house is dark. May'st smile at this: thou shalt not choose butgo; Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no Do not deny: Beshrew his soul for me, darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more He started one poor heart of mine in thee. puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog. Seb. What relish is in this ? how runs the Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignostream?
rance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; Or I am mad, or else this is a dream :
and I say, there was never man thus abused : 1 Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep; am no more mad than you are ; make the trial If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep! of it in any constant question. Oli. Nay, come, I pr’ythee: 'Would thou’dst Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, conbe ruld by me!
cerning wild-fowl ? Seb. Madam, I will.
Mal. That the soul of our grandam might Oli. O, say so, and so be! [Ereunt. haply inhabit a bird.
Cio. What thinkest thou of his opinion? SCENE II.-A room in Olivia's house. Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way
approve his opinion. Enter MARIA and Clown.
Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in dark Mar. Nay, I pr’ythee, put on this gown, and ness : thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, this beard ; make him believe thou art sir Topas ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill á the curate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy whilst.
[Exit Maria. grandam. Fare thee well. Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, myself in't; and I would I were the first, that Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas ! ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat Clo. Nay, I am for all waters. enough to become the function well ; nor lean Mar. Thou might’st have done this without enough to be thought a good student: but to be thy beard, and gown ; he sees thee not. said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a me word how thou findest him: I would, we great scholar. The competitors enter.
were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conEnter Sir Toby Belch and MARIA.
veniently delivered, I would he were ; for I am
now so far in offence with my niece, that I canSir To. Jove bless thee, master parson. not pursue with any safety this sport to the up
Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for as the old her- shot. Come by and by to my chamber. mit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very
Sir Toby and Maria. wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin, that is, is : So I, being master parson, am mas
Tell me how thy lady does. [Singing. ter parson : For what is that, but that ? and is, Mal. Fool, but is?
Clo. My lady is unkind, perdy.
Like to the old vice, Clo. Alas, why is she so ?
Your need to sustain; Mal. Fool, I say ;
Who with dagger of lath, Clo. She loves another Who calls, ha ? .
In his rage and his wrath, Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve
Cries, ah, ha! to the devil: well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen,
Like a mad lad, ink, and paper: as I am a gentleman, I will live
Pare thy nails, dad, to be thankful to thee for t.
Adieu, goodman drivel.
[Exit. Clo. Master Malvolio! Mal. Ay, good fool.
SCENE III.-Olivia's garden. Clo. Alas, sir, how fèll you besides your five
Enter SEBASTIAN. wits?
Mal. Fool, there was never man so notorious Seb. This is the air ; that is the glorious sun; ly abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as This pearl she gave me, I do feel't, and see't:
And though 'tis wonder that onwraps me thus, Clo. But as well ? then you are mad, indeed, Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio then ? if you be no better in your wits than a fool. I could not find him at the Elephant :
Ma. They have here propertied me; keep Yet there he was ; and there I found this credit, Tre in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and That he did range the town to seek me out. do all they can to face me out of my wits. His counsel now might do me golden service :
Clo. Advise you what you say ; the minister For though my soul disputes well with my sense, is herè.Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the hea- That this may be some error, but no madness, Fens restore ! endeavour thyself to sleep, and Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune leave thy vain bibble babble.
So far exceed all instance, all discourse, Mal. "Sir Topas,
That I am ready to distrust mine eyes, Clo
. Maintain no words with him, good fel. And wrangle with my reason, that persuades me low.-Who, I, sir? not I, sir. God b'wi'you, To any other trust, but that I am mad, good sir Topas.—Marry, amen.-) will, sir, I Or else the lady's mad ; yet, if 'twere so, will.
She could not sway her house, command her Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say,
followers, Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? Take, and give back, affairs, and their despatch, I am shent for speaking to you.
With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearing, Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and As, I perceive, she does : there's something in't, some paper ; I tell thee, I am as well in my That is deceivable. But here comes the lady. wits, as any man in Illyria. Clo. Well-a-day-that you were, sir !
Enter OLIVIA and a Priest. Mal. By this hand, I am: Good fool, some Oli. Blame not this haste of mine: If you ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will mean well, set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee Now go with me, and with this holy man, more than ever the bearing of letter did. Into the chantry by: there, before him,
Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, and underneath that consecrated roof, de you not mad indeed ? or do you but coun- Plight me the full assurance of your faith ; terfeit ?
That my most jealous and too doubtful soul Mal. Believe me, I am not ; I tell thee true. May live at peace : He shall conceal it, • Clo
. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till i Whiles you are willing it shall come to note ; see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, What time we will our celebration keep and ink.
According to my birth.-What do you say? Mol. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest de Seb. I'll follow this good man, and go with you; gree : -I pr’ythee, be gone.
And, having sworn truth, ever will be true. Clo. I am gone, sir,
Oli. Then lead the way, good father ; -And And anon, sir,
heavens so shine, rll be with you again,
That they may fairly note this act of mine ! In a trice,