dreffed, it was by Order of the Judges taken from him, and hung up again in the Hall.

ALISON the Wife of Stephen Freckle, brought her faid Hufband along with her, and fet forth the good Conditions and Behaviour of her Confort, adding withal that he doubted not but he was ready to atteft the like of her, his Wife; whereupon he, the faid Stephen, haking his Head, she turned fhort upon him, and gave him a Box on the Ear.

PHILIP de Waverland, havi g laid his Hand upon the Book, when the Claufe, Were I fole and the fole, avas rehearsed, found a fecret Compunction rifing in his Mind, and ftole it off again.

RICHARD de Lovelefs, who was a Courtier, and · a very well-bred Man, being obferved to befitate at the Words after our Marriage, was thereupon required to explain himself. He reply'd, by talking very largely of bis exact Complaifance while he was a Lover; and alledged, that he had not in the leaft difobliged his Wife for a Year and a Day before Marriage, which he ho"ped was the fame Thing.

·

• Rejected.

JOCELINE Jolly, Efq; making it appear by unque fionable Teftimony, That he and his Wife had preferved full and entire Affection for the Space of the firft Month, commonly called the Honey-moon; he had in Confideration thereof one Rafher bestowed upon him.

AFTER this, fays the Record, many Years paffed over before any Demandant appeared at Whicheno-vreball; infomuch that one would have thought that the whole Country were turned Jews, fo little was their Affection to the Flitch of Bacon.

THE next Couple enrolled had like to have carried it, if one of the Witneffes had not depofed, That dining on a Sunday with the Demandant, whofe Wife had fate below the Squire's Lady at Church, the the faid Wife dropped fome Expreffions, as if the thought her Hufband deferved to be knighted; to which he returned a paffionate Pih! The Judges taking the Premifes into Confideration, declared the aforefaid

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Behaviour to imply an unwarrantable Ambition in the Wife, and Anger in the Hufband.

IT is recorded as a fufficient Difqualification of a certain Wife, that speaking of her Husband, she said, God forgive him.

Ir is likewife remarkable, that a Couple were re⚫jected upon the Depofition of one of their Neighbours, that the Lady had once told her Husband, that it was her Duty to obey; to which he replied, Oh! my Dear, you are never in the wrong.

THE violent Paffion of one Lady for her Lap-dog; the turning away of the old House-maid by another; a Tavern Bill torn by the Wife, and a Taylor's by the • Husband; a Quarrel about the Kiffing cruft; fpoiling ⚫ of Dinners, and coming in late of Nights; are fo · many several Articles which occafioned the Reproba⚫tion of fome scores of Demandants, whofe Names are recorded in the aforefaid Register.

WITHOUT enumerating other particular Perfons, • I shall content myself with obferving, that the Sen⚫tence pronounced against one Gervafe Poacher is, that • he might have had Bacon to his Eggs, if he had not beretofore fcolded his Wife when they were over boiled. And the Depofition against Dorothy Do-little runs in thefe Words; That she had fo far ufurped the Dominion of the Coal fire (the firring whereof her Husband ⚫ claimed to himself) that by her good Will he never would fuffer the Poker out of her Hand.

I find but two Copies, in this firft Century, that were fuccessful: The firft was a Sea Captain and his Wife, who fince the Day of their Marriage, had not ⚫ feen one another till the Day of their Claim. The fe⚫cond, was an honest Pair in the Neighbourhood; the • Husband was a Man of plain good Senfe, and a peaceable Temper; the Woman was dumb.

Wednesday,

No. 609. Wednesday, October 20.

Farrago libelli.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

I

Juv.

HAVE for fome Time defired to appear in your Paper, and have therefore chosen a Day to steal into the SPECTATOR, when I take it for granted you will not have many spare Minutes for Spe<culations of your own. As I was the other Day walking with an honeft Country Gentleman, he very often was expreffing his Aftonishment to fee the Town fo mightily crowded with Doctors of Divinity: Upon which I told him he was very much mistaken " if he took all thofe Gentlemen he faw in Scarfs to be Perfons of that Dignity; for, that a young Divine ' after his first Degree in the Univerfity, ufually comes hither only to fhew himself; and on that Occafion is apt to think he is but half equipped with a Gown and Caffock for his publick Appearance, if he hath not the additional Ornament of a Scarf of the first Magnitude to intitle him to the Appellation of Doctor from his Landlady, and the Boy at Child's. Now ⚫ fince I know that this Piece of Garniture is looked. upon as a Mark of Vanity or Affectation, as it is 'made use of among fome of the little fpruce Adventurers of the Town, I fhould be glad if you would: give it a Place among thofe Extravagancies you have: justly expofed in feveral of your Papers; being very ⚫ well affured that the main Body of the Clergy, both. in the Country and the Universities, who are almost to a Man untainted with it, would be very well pleased to see this venerable Foppery well expofed. • When my Patron did me the Honour to take me into his Family, (for I must own myself of this Order) he was pleased to say he took me as a Friend

and

⚫ and Companion; and whether he looked upon the Scarf like the Lace and Shoulder-knot of a Footman, as a Badge of Servitude and Dependance. I do not know, but he was fo kind as to leave my wearing. of it to my own Difcretion; and not having any juft Title to it from my Degrees, I am content to be. ⚫ without the Ornament. The Privileges of our Nobility to keep a certain Number of Chaplains are undifputed, though perhaps not one in ten of those reverend Gentlemen have any Relation to the noble Families their Scarfs belong to; the Right generally of creating all Chaplains except the Domeftick, where there is one, being nothing more than the Perquifite of a Steward's Place, who, if he happens to out-live any confiderable Number of his noble Mafters, shall. probably, at one and the fame Time, have fifty Chaplains, all in their proper Accoutrements, of his own. • Creation; tho' perhaps there hath been neither Grace nor Prayer faid in the Family fince the Introduction of the firft Coronet..

6.

Mr. SPECTATOR,

I

Iam, &c.

Wish you would write a philofophical Paper about: Natural Antipathies, with a Word or two concerning the Strength of Imag nation. I can give you a Lift upon the firft Notice, of a Rational China Cup, of an Egg that walks upon two Legs, and a Quart Pot that fings like a Nightingale. There is in my Neighbourhood a very pretty prattling Shoulder of Veal, that fquawls out at the Sight of a Knife. Then as for natural Antipathies, I know a General Officer ⚫ who was never conquered but by a fmother'd Rabbit; and a Wife that domineers over her Husband by the Help of a Breaft of Mutton. A Story that relates to myfelf on this Subject may be thought not unentertaining, especially when I affure you that it is literally true. I had long made Love to a Lady, in the Poffeffion of whom I am now the happieft of Mankind, whofe Hand I fhould have gained with.

• much

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much Difficulty without the Affiftance of a Cat. You ← must know then, that my most dangerous Rival had fo strong an Averfion to this Species, that he infallibly fwooned away at the Sight of that harmless Creature. My Friend Mrs. Lucy, her Maid, having a greater Refpect for me and my Purfe than fhe had for my Rival, always took Care to pin the Tail of a Cat under the Gown of her Miftrefs, whenever the knew of his coming; which had such an Effect, that every Time • he entered the Room, he looked more like one of the Figures in Mr. Salmon's Wax-work, than a defirable Lover. In fhort, he grew fick of her Company; ← which the young Lady taking Notice of, (who no more knew why than he did) the fent me a Challenge: to meet her in Lincoln's-inn Chappel, which I joyfully accepted, and have (amongst other Pleasures) the Satisfaction of being praised by her for my Stratagem, I am, &c.

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From the Hoop..

Mr. SPECTATOR,

TH

Tom. Nimble.

HE Virgins of Great Britain are very much o blig'd to you for putting them upon fuch tedious Drudgeries in Needlework as were fit only for the Hilpa's and the Nilpa's that lived before the Flood. Here's a Stir indeed with your Histories in Embroidery, your Groves with Shades of Silk and Streams of • Mohair! I would have you to know, that I hope to kill a hundred Lovers before the best Housewife in England can stitch out a Battle, and do not fear but to provide Boys and Girls much faster than your Difciples can embroider them. I love Birds and Beafts as well as you, but am content to fancy them when they are really made. What do you think of gilt Leather for Furniture There's your pretty Hangings for a Chamber; and what is more, our own Country is the only Flace in Europe where Work of that kind is tolerably done. Without minding your mufty Leffons: I am - this Minute going to Paul's Church-yard to bespeak a ⚫ Skreen

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