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was over, the lady not only abstained put forth as a mere Action. For this reafrom all reproach or entreaty, but placed son the book called Gulliver (for Gulliver within his hands a packet of papers, is but a book, and never was a man) must (of what nature I don't pretend to say,) be degraded to the level of the Utopias, which he had the manliness and gene the Arcadias, and other flimsy books of rosity to put into his breeches' pocket. the same ignoble kind. Had Jonathar He has, to be sure, gained considerably Swift stood forward, as a gallant, gentleby his breach of faith, (for I cannot but manly liar (my late lamented friend, think there was something of the kird in Colonel Nimrod, for instance) would have question.) He is now scorching beneath done, and roundly asserted that he himn. à Calcutta sun, with an ugly, ill-tem. self, the identical Jonathan,—that he, in pered, and fat (Bengal ! think of that!) his own proper person, had visited a lady; and yet I scarcely can believe, country called Lilliput, where he had held that he is much happier than he might intercourse with a race of human beings have been in this Highgate paradise, and of such diminutive proportion, that their in the love of the little beauty, who is very giants were scarcely six inches tall ; now pining away the remnant of her still had he pledged his own character for life among the
veracity on the positive occurrence to
himself of all the adventures he tamely “ Ningles and bushy dells of those wild woods." ascribes to a shadow, then had Jonathan
Swift been deemed worthy of equal rank with those glorious liars whose names 1
have recorded. As it is, he has comproSPIRIT OF THE
mised his fame. He may be a fine writer,
a keen satirist, a profound philosopher ; Public Journals.
-withe so much reputation as those ordi.
nary qualifications may acquire for him, EMINENT LIARS.
let him rest satisfied; but_LIAR he
is not. I REVERENCE liars. I must not be un. I have mentioned Munch-Hausen. It derstood as meaning those coiners and is generally believed that Munch-Hausen utterers of falsehoods, always petty whe is only a nom de guerre. Such, however, ther great or small, which are intended is not the fact. Baron Munch-Hausen either to injure other persous, or to serve was a Hanoverian nobleman, and even so themselves ; those despicable creatures lately as five and forty years ago he was who invent lies, or pervert the truth, as a alive and lying.* It is true, that the means to attain an end : all such I aban. Travels published as his, though not by don to the contempt they deserve. Nor him, were intended as a satire or parody do I mean those peddling pettifogging, on the Travels of the famous Baron de would-be liars, who only lie by halves, Tott; but Munch-Hausen was really in who falsify facts, or timidly set about the habit of relating the adventures, now embroidering a groundwork of truth with sanctioned by the authority of his mendetails of their own creating. No; the dacious name, as having positively ocliars I allude to are the spirited emulators curred to him ; and from the frequency of the Mandevilles, the Pintos, and the of the repetition of the same stories, with. Munch-Hausens, who tell you the lie, out the slightest variation even in their the whole lie, and nothing but the lie; most minute points, he at length believed and who lie, too, (I do not desire a softer the narratives he had himself invented, term, for, though “ familiar," yet, in the and delivered them with as much sangsense in which it is here applied, it is “ by froid as if they had described nothing but no means vulgar,”) from no less noble an
so many probable events.
There was impulse than the pure, disinterested, ho nothing of the Fanfaron, or braggart, in nest, unadulterated love of lying. So his manner; on the contrary, he was dis. profound is my veneration for that illus- tinguished by the peculiar modesty of his trious fraternity, that I cannot consent to honour with a niche in their temple even * The present paper is certainly admitted to Gulliver himself. To say the truth, be a suspicious medium for the conveyance of Gulliver was but a poor fellow after all.
truth; nevertheless, the information concerning
Baron Munch-Hausen is given under the positive Indeed it never was seriously pretended belief of the writer that it is authentic. He rethat such a man as Gulliver did exist, or ceived it from a Polish gentleman, one whose ever had existed. He was nothing more
veracity has never been impeached, who assured
him that when travelling many years ago through than a peg to hang a satire upon ; the Hanover, he met with several persons who had puny invention of a novelist. Gulliver been well acquainted with the hero, and that the was Swift, and Swift was Gulliver, and
name of Munch-Hausen was then, as it may be
still, a by-word for any story partaking over. the history of his adventures was timidly much of the marvellous.
demoanour. When called upon, in com- have I listened to his astounding parrapany, as he invariably was, to relate some tives, each sentence worth a whole voof the extraordinary adventures of his lume of truth! and how impatiently have life, he would enter upon the subject with I, upon such occasions, turned from the as much diffidence as a Wellington or a captious lover of matter-of-fact who has Nelson describing his own real achieve- petulantly whispered me, “ 'Tis all a ments ; till, gradually warming, he would sie.” And what then ? The Faery become vehement, and endeavour to illus- Queen is a lie; the Midsummer-Night's trate his descriptions by the most extra- Dream is a lie ; and yet neither Spenser vagant, yet, at the same time, the most nor Shakspeare are stigmatized as liars. expressive gestures and attitudes. He Why then should the epithet “ lie,” in was a masterly liar, a great artist. It its opprobrious and offensive sense, be must be remarked, that in his wildest in applied to those extempore prose invene ventions there is nothing to shock the tions of any reveller in the realms of Ima. understanding ; admit the cause, and the gination, which, were they measured out consequences follow naturally enough. by lines and syllables, and committed to He shoots a handful of cherry-stones into paper, would be called Poems ? All in. a stag's forehead! Allow the possibility ventive poets are, in a certain sense, liars ; of cherry-stones taking root in a stag's and akin with poets are travellers into forehead, and there is nothing improbable countries which never existed, seers of in his finding, a few years afterwards, a sights which have never been seen, doers cherry-tree sprouting from it. The cold, of deeds which were never done ; and in a certain country where he is travelling, such merely was Colonel Nimrod : he is so intense as to freeze the tunes a post- was an extempore prose poet. Such liars, boy endeavours to play upon his horn. I would say liars generally, are your only The horn is hung by the fire-side, and, interesting tale-tellers ; for nothing is so as the tunes in it become thawed, they insipid as the bare truth; and the proof flow out audibly one after another. Ad- of this is, that we seldom meet with a mit the cause,
say, and there is nothing true story worth telling. This may apabsurd in the consequence. Had he made pear to be a startling opinion, but most a tree of emeralds and rubies to spring people entertain it, and are often uncon. from his cherry-stones, or a band of mu- scientiously led to express it. Of a hun. sicians to start out of his horn, (as some dred real adventures, ninety-nine arc not of his awkward imitators would do,) he worth relating; and the common eulogy would not so long have maintained his bestowed on any real occurrence which enviable eminence as a consistent and cre- happens to be somewhat out of the usual dible liar, but have been confounded in way, is, that it is as interesting as a ro. the mass of inventors of nonsensical Rho. mance; in other words, that that particu. domontades.
lar fact is as interesting as a fiction ; or, But my main object in this paper is to to come at once to the point, that that rescue from oblivion a few of the mighty true story is as interesting as if it were a lies of one who, had he committed his lie. sublime inventions to the press, instead of But I am digressing from my purpose, modestly employing them for the edifica- which is simply to record two or three of tion and delight of those private circles the most exquisite of the many admirable which he sometimes honoured with his lies I have heard delivered by my late lapresence, had eclipsed the whole galaxy mented friend, Colonel Nimrod ;* and, of liars ! But, alas! he is dead! Colonel outrageous and extravagant as they will Nimrod is dead! The day that witnessed appear, I do most positively assert that I the extinction of that lying luminary of repeat them, as nearly as I can, in his own the sporting world, was a day of rejoicing words. His manner of narrating those to all the birds in the air and all the fishes marvellous tales, of which he always was in the sea. Ah! securely may'st thou himself the hero, was perfectly easy and gambol now on yonder pleasant slope, assured, and was calculated to impress his thou noble stag, for Nimrod is no more! hearers with a conviction that, at least, Spread out your glittering wings in peace, he entertained not the slightest doubt of ye bright inhabitants of ether; and you, their truth. He seldom described his ye little fishes and ye great, sprats, feats, or the accidents of his life, as subshrimps, leviathans, white-bait, whales, jects to be wondered at; they were casport freely in your watery homes, for sually noticed, as the turn of the converNimrod is no more ! Well might it be sation might afford occasion, and as mere to them a day of jubilee when their un. paralleled destroyer was destroyed ; to me " It need scarcely be observed that the name it was a day of lamentation and sorrowing, sents was, for a very long periot, a prominent
of Nimrod is fictitious; but the person it repre. I knew him well. With what delight character in the sporting world.
matters of every-day occurrence. If, in- rod !”_" Ay, sir; I shoot with a rainrod deed any one expressed a more than usual sometimes.” “ Shoot with a ramrod !" degree of astonishment, or exclaimed, " Why, how the devil else would you “ That's rather extraordinary, colonel !" shoot when you are in a hurry ?" his reply invariably was,“ Extraordinary, “ Really, I don't understand you.”sir ! why I know it is extraordinary; but 6. This is what I mean, sir-for instance : I'll take my oath that I am in all respects I was going out one fine morning at the the most extraordinary man that God latter end of October, when I saw the ever let live.”
London mail changing horses—as it al. A BROKEN HEAD.-I was one day ways did within a mile of my gates standing with him at his window, when a when I suddenly recollected that I proman was thrown from his horse. “There's mised my friend F- a basket of game. a broken head for him, colonel,” said I.- Devil a trigger had I pulled—the coach “ I am the only man in Europe, sir,” he was ready to start—what was to be done? replied, “ that ever had a broken head— I leaped over the hedge, fired off my ram. to live after it. I was hunting, wear my rod, and may I be d-d if I didn't spit, place in Yorkshire; my horse threw me, as it were, four partridges and a brace of and I was pitched, head-foremost, upon pheasants. Now I should be a liar, if I a scythe which had been left upon the said I ever did the same thing twice-in ground. When I was taken up my head point of number, I mean.” was found to be literally cut in two, and These specimens will serve to show to was spread over my shoulders like a pair what perfection poor Nimrod had brought of epaulettes. That was a broken, head, the art of lying. I could repeat another if you please, sir.”
which he delivered whilst lying (in both NEW MODE OF EXECUTING A senses of the word) on his death-bed, but WRIT.-Something having occurred in that it might be misconstrued into the conversation that led to the subject of ar pure effect of delirium. For my own part rests, he started up and exclaimed, “ Gen. I consider it as another illustration of tlemen, I have been arrested oftener than " the ruling passion strong in death." any man in England ! Once under most That he believed his own stories, and exatrocious circumstances. You must know pected they would be believed by his that I was lodging at Steven's ; my wife hearers, I am fully persuaded. I shall was with me. One morning, between not attempt to trace the causes of this in. seven and eight, while we were in bed, a firmity of mind; but wherever it exists in bailiff came into the room. 6) under the same degree, I consider it as present. stand your business, my good fellow, ing a case for the consideration of the physaid I; wait below, i'll get up and sician rather than of the moralist. dress, and accompany you to my solicitor,
New Monthly Magazine. who will do the needful.' By G-, gen. tlemen, he swore I should get up and go with him as I was. • What! in my
LULLABY. night-shirt !' said I. He insisted-I re SLEEP, my lov'd girlthy mother's breast sisted; when the scoundrel went to the
Shall be the pillow of thy rest ; fire-place, drew out the poker which had
Sleep, my lov'd girl-thy mother's kuee, been in the fire all night, and thrust it,
And folding arms, shall cradle thee;
And she will lull thee with her song, red-hot as it was, into the bed between
Thy gentle slumbers to prolong. Mrs. N. and me. Mrs. N.-woman-like —the moment she felt the red-hot poker, Thy sleep no fearful vision knows; jumped out of bed; not so, your humble
No cares disturb thy soft repose ; servant. There I lay, and there stood
Thy guardian angel spreads his wings,
And dreams from heavenly regions brings : the scoundrel poking at me; and there
0, who can tell how bright they be, would I have remained, had not the bed.
The heavenly dreams of infancy. clothes taken fire. Now I did not choose to be burnt in my bed, nor would I en.
And, as I watch the beamy smile danger the safety of the house, in which
That plays upon thy face the while,
I feel its influence to my heart, there happened to be many lodgers at the
A soft pervading peace impart; time, so up I got and dressed myself-I
Chasing dull care with magic spell, resolved to carry that point, and I did.
And waispering, “ all will yet be well !" Now I put it to you, as men and gentlemen, did I compromise my honour by
0, all is well! the trusting soul
Sees the kind hand that rules the whole; giving in at last ? But observe, 'twas as
And, while such gifts from bounteous heaven I tell you—not till the bed took fire.” EXPEDITIOUS SHOOTING.--I once
As thou, my lovely babe, are given,
The way, however dark and rude, said to him, “ You have the reputation With much of ill, has mach of good. of being an excellent shot, Colonel Nime Rubins's London und Dublin Magazine.
6 V, ADAM !"
in Augus: 1821, and, after considerable The following story is current in Ireland, where he found the cross.
risks and labour, reached the summit,
It had not though not peculiarly Irish :A gentleman, riding along the road, colour of bronze.
rusted in any degree, but had taken the
At the top of the passed by a kuock, (a field of furze,) in
mountain the barometer stood at 16:35 which a man was stubbing, and for every inches, and water boiled at 18568 degrees ; stroke he gave with his hoe he cried out
the temperature of the air twenty-one in a reproachful tone, “O, Adam !” The gentleman stopped his horse, and degrees. The height of the summit was
estimated at 14,086 feet. calling the labourer to him, inquired the reason of his saying, “ O, Adam ??
ON THE CAUSE OF THE FRACTURE “Why, please your honour,” said the
OF LAMP GLASSES. man, ony for Adam, I would have no occasion to labour at all, had he and Eve THE glass chimneys which are now in been less curious, none of us need earn
such extensive use, not only for oil lamps,
but also for the burners of oil and coal our bread by the sweat of our brow.". “ Very good,” said the gentleman ; “ call gas very frequently break, and not only at my house to-morrow.” The man waited expose to danger those who are near them, on him the next day, and the gentleman but occasion much expense and inconvetook him into a splendid apartment, ad- nience, particularly to those who are re
The bursting of joining a most beautiful garden, and ask sident in the country. ed him, would he wish to live there? The in the glass, where it is less perfectly an
these glasses very often arises from knots son of Adam replied in the affirmative. nealed; and also from an inequality of “ Very well," said the gentleman," you thickness at their lower end, which preshall want for nothing. Breakfast, din. and
vents them expanding uniformly by heat. supper of the choicest viands, shall be laid before you every day, and The best method of detecting the knots is you may amuse yourself in the garden and reject those that exhibit at the knots
to examine the glasses by polarized light, whenever you please. But, mind, you are to enjoy all this only on one condi- the depolarized tints. M. Cadet de Vaux tion—that you look not under the pewter equality of thickness may be cured by
informs us, that the evil arising from in. plate that lies on the table.” was overjoyed at his good fortune, and making a cut with a diamond in the box
tom of the tube ; and he remarks, that thought there was little fear of his forfeiting it, by looking under the pewter plate. lighted every day, and where this pre
in establislıments where six lamps are In a week or two, however, he grew ous to know what could be under the caution was taken, there was not a sin. platc which he was prohibited from see
gle glass broken for nine years. ing. Perhaps a jewel of inestimable va. lue, and perhaps nothing at all. One day, when no person was present, he BRUGNATELLI informs us, that spirit of thought he would take a peep-there wine, ether, &c., mixed in certain procould be no harm in it-no one would portions with snow,
afford temperatures know ot it; and, accordingly, he raised
as low as those produced by mixing seathe forbidden plate, when, lo! a little salt with snow. mouse jumped from under it; he quickly laid it down again, but his doom was sealed. “ Begone to your hoeing,” said the gentleman next day, “and cry 0, An excellent composition for covering Adam ! no more, since, like him, you newly grafted scions is formed of rosin have lost a paradise by disobedience.” and train oil, in the following manner :
Ibid. Let a portion of rosin be melted in an
earthen vessel, and then add to it an
equal quantity of train oil, and mix Arts and Sciences. them well. When the composition is
cold, it may be applied with a painter's brush. It has the advantage of being much neater than the usual covering of
clay, and it neither cracks nor admits In an excursion, made by M. Zumstein moisture, and the grafts seldom fail. It and others, to the summit of Monte is used in the north-west part of France Rosa, in August, 1820, an iron cross
with great success. was fixed upon it, and left there. M. Zumstein ascended the mountain again
COMPOSITION FOR COVERING
EXPOSURE OF IRON
Miscellanies. strange coincidences which are ever occur.
ring, but for which there is no account.
ing? In conclusion, if I may be allowed SINGULAR RELATION AND to deviate a little from my subject, 1 COINCIDENCE.
would observe, that the celebrated Christian (For the Mirror.)
poets who have permitted their imagina
tions to revel in the terrors and horrors of In the family of the writer lately lived a the internal world, are Dante, Milton, Welshwoman, who used to relate the fole and Klopstock ; but terrific as the ideas lowing singular tale :
of these fine writers are upon this sub“ When I was quite a girl, after have ject, perhaps the palm for the best image ing been out at service for a little while, of eternal torture is due to Southey. În I obtained leave to visit my parents in “ The Curse of Kehama,” he who seizes North Wales. On my arrival at home, on the arwreeta, or cup of immortality, they told me that a certain notoriously to procure which he has committed un. wicked man, a neighbour of ours, had heard-of crimes, instead of partaking of just died, and a few hours previous to his the beatification it confers upon the good, departure, awaking in great terror from is, immediately after drinking from it, sleep, declared this had been his dream : transmuted into a being of fire, like unto - I thought,' said he, that a gentle. a statue of red-hot iron, and, in this state, man came to me, and offered, if I were helps, with three others in like situation, willing to go with him, to show me the to support the throne of Eblis for ever! place of eternal torment. I consented to
M. L. B. accompany him, and he accordingly led me a long, very long way, till we arrived
BREAD. at an exceedingly beautiful place, and he told me this was hell. I answered, that I It is singular, that thougb bread is the thought it impossible, as I had always most simple article of diet, and that on imagined that dreadful place to be dark which the human race has most subsisted, and horrible and full of fire. Neverthe, yet very little is known of its history, less, he replied, my words are certainly and that little only shows that but smali true; and he then left me to walk about. improvement has been made during the I met many persons, all silent, and seem- lapse of ages in preparing this essential ingly unhappy, and all had their hands article of food. The graddened corn still close laid upon their breasts, at which I in use in the Highlands, which is corn much wondered. At last I took courage burnt out of the ear instead of being to ask one of these people if this beautiful thrashed, is probably the same as the place were really that of everlasting mi. parched corn which Boaz presented to sery? It is indeed, said he, but not Ruth ; and an ephah of which Jesse sent, what you behold around you. No—this, by David, to his sons who were in the this is the unutterable and eternal torment canıp of Saul. The barley bread which of which you have heard. So saying, he is now generally eaten by the peasantry took his hands from his bosom ; it was in Cumberland, differs but little, it is transparent like glass, and I saw his heart probable, from those five barley loaves in flames through it. He told me, in
of which our blessed Lord himself paragony and despair, that it burnt for ever, took, with no other addition than a piece and went his way. My guide now joined of broiled fish. And in what does the me, and having asked if I was satisfied, cake baken on the coals, which Elijah we quitted the accursed place, and í found under the juniper-tree in the wil. awoke.'»
derness, appear to differ from the cakes Such was the dream as related by our of Scotland, or bannocks, excepting that Welsh servant; such, exactly, is Mr. it was miraculously provided ? Beckford's inimitable idea of eternal an. Different ages and countries, however, guish in his admirable “ History of the do afford some variety of information as Caliph Vathek.” The unfortunate beings to this article. The Scotch have im. deluded by the Dives and wicked Genii, memorially been famous for the use of are, in the subterraneous palace of fire, oat-flour in the composition of their bread (where Eblis sits on a red-hot globe as or cakes, as appears from various passages king,) tortured with the heart-burning in old writers. Moryson, who wrote in eternally, and are represented as walking the reign of Elizabeth, tells us, they about in silent agony, each carrying his vulgarly eate hearth-cakes of oates ; but right hand upon his breast, for ever! in cities have also wheaten bread, which
This allows us to inquire, had Mr. for the most part was ght by courtiers, Beckford heard of this dream before he gentlemen, and the best sort of citizens ; wrote his romance ? or is it one of those and adds," they, (the Scotch,) when