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.No 608. none, the lord of Whichenovre fhall caufe him to have one horse and faddle, to fuch time as he be paffed his lordfhip; and fo fhall they depart the manor of Whichenovre with the corn and the bacon, tofore him that hath won it, with trumpets, tabourets, and other manner of minstrelsey. And all the free tenants of Whichenovre shall conduct him to be paffed the lordship of Whichenovre. And then fhall they all return; except him, to whom appertaineth to make the carriage and journey without the county of Stafford, at the cofts of his lord of Whichenovre.

Monday, October 18.

N° 608.

-Perjuria ridet amantum.

Ovid. Ars Am. 1. 1. v.633.

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--Forgiving with a fmile

The perjuries that eafy maids beguile.

Mr SPECTATOR,

A

Dryden.

CCORDING to my promife, I herewith transmit to you a lift of several perfons, who from time to time demanded the Flitch of bacon of Sir Philip de Somervile, and his defcendants; as it is preferved in an ancient manufcript under the title of The register of Whichenovre-halland of the bacon-flitch there main

" tained.

IN the beginning of this record is recited the law or inftitution in form, as it is already printed in your laft paper: to which are added two by-laws, as a comment upon the general law, the fubftance whereof is, that the wife fhall take the fame oath as the hufband, mutatis mutandis; and that the judges fhall, as they think meet, interrogate or crofs examine the witneffes. After this proceeds the regifter in manner following.

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AUBRY de Falstaff, fon of Sir John Falstaff, Kt, with dame Maude his wife, were the firft that demanded the bacon, he having bribed twain of his father's companions to fwear falfely in his behoof, whereby he gain

ed

ed the flitch but he and his faid wife falling immediately into a dispute how the faid bacon fhould be dreffed, it was by order of the judges taken from him, and hung up again in the hall.

ALISON the wife of Stephen Freckle, brought her faid husband along with her, and fet forth the good "conditions and behaviour of her confort, adding withai 'that the doubted not but he was ready to atteft the like of her, his wife; whereupon he the faid Stephen, fhaking his head, fhe turned fhort upon him, and gave him a box on the ear.

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'PHILIP de Waverland, having laid his hand upon the book, when the claufe, Were I fole and fhe fole,' was rehearsed, found a fecret compunction rifing in his mind, and stole it off again.

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RICHARD de lovelefs, who was a courtier, and a very well-bred man, being obferved to hefitate at the words, after our marriage,' was thereupon required to explain himself. He replied, by talking very largely of his exact complaifance while he was a lover; and alledged, that he had not in the least disobliged his wife for a year and a day before marriage, which he hoped was the fame thing...

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Rejected..

JOCELINE Jolly, Efq; making it appear by unqueftionable teftimony, that he and his wife had preferved full and entire affection for the space of the first month, commonly called the Honey-moon; he had in confideration thereof one rafher bestowed upon him.

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AFTER this, fays the record, many years paffed σ-ver, before any demandant appeared at Whichenovre

hall; infomuch that one would have thought that the whole country were turned Jews, fo little was their affection to the fliteh of bacon..

THE next couple enrolled had like to have carried it, if one of the witneffes had not depofed, that dining on a Sunday with the demandant, whose wife had fat below the fquire's lady at church, fhe the faid wife dropped fome expreffions, as if the thought her husband deferved to be knighted; to which he returned a paffionate pish! The judges taking the premifes into confideration, de

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clared

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clared the aforefaid behaviour to imply an unwarrantable ambition in the wife, and anger in the husband. 'IT is recorded as a fufficient difqualification of a certain wife, that fpeaking of her husband, fhe faid, God 'forgive him.

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Ir is likewife remarkable, that a couple were rejected upon the depofition of one of their neighbours, that the lady had once told her husband that it was her duty to obey; to which he replied, Oh! my dear, you are never in the wrong.

THE violent paffion of one lady for her lap-dog; the turning away of the old house-maid by another; a tavern-bill torn by the wife, and a tailor's by the hu band; a quarrel about the kiffing cruft, fpoiling of dinners, and coming in late of nights; are fo many feveral 'articles which occafioned the reprobation of fome scores of demandants, whofe names are recorded in the afore'faid regifter.

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WITHOUT enumerating other particular perfons, I shall content myself with obferving, that the fentence pronounced against one Gervafe Poacher, is, That he might have had bacon to his eggs, if he had not hereto "fore fcolded his wife when they were over-boiled.' And the depofition against Dorothy Doolittle runs in thefe words: That fhe had fo far ufurped the domi"nion of the coal-fire, (the stirring whereof her husband "claimed to himfelf), that by her good-will she never "would fuffer the pocker out of her hand.'

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I FIND but two couples, in this first century, that were fuccefsful: the firft was a fea-captain and his wife, who fince the day of their marriage had not feen one another till the day of the claim. The fecond was an honeft pair in the neighbourhood; the husband was a man

of plain good fenfe, and a peaceable temper; the woman was dumb.

NO

Wednesday, October 20.

N° 609.

-Farrago libelli.

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Juv. fat. 1. v. 86.

The mifcellaneous fubjects of my book.

'Mr SPECTATOR,

HAVE for fome time defired to appear in your paIper, and have therefore cred to appear in your peo the Spectator, when I take it for granted you will not have many fpare minutes for fpeculations of your own. As I was the other day walking with an honeft countrygentleman, he very often expreffed his aftonishment to 'fee the town fo mightily crouded with doctors of divinity: upon which I told him he was very much mistaken if he took all thofe gentlemen he faw in fcarfs to be perfons of that dignity; for that a young divine, after his first degree in the univerfity, ufually comes hither only to fhew himself; and, on that occafion, is apt to think he is but half equipped with a gown and cassock for his public appearance, if he hath not the additional orna⚫ment of a scarf of the first magnitude to intitle him to the appellation of doctor from his landlady, and the boy at Child's. Now fince I know that this piece of garniture is looked upon as a mark of vanity or affectation, as it is made ufe of among some of the little spruce ad• venturers of the town, I fhould be glad if you would give it a place among thofe extravagancies you have juftly expofed in feveral of your papers: being very well affured that the main body of the clergy, both in the country and the univerfities, who are almoft to a man • untainted with it, would be very well pleased to see this venerable foppery well expofed. When my patron did me the honour to take me into his family, (for I must own myself of this order), he was pleased to say he took me as a friend and companion; and whether he looked upon the scarf like the lace and shoulder-knot of a footman, as a badge of fervitude and dependance, I do not know, but he was fo kind as to leave my wearing of it to my own difcretion; and not having any juft title to

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it from my degrees, I am content to be without the or" nament. The privileges of our nobility to keep a cer⚫tain number of chaplains are undifputed, though perhaps ⚫ not one in ten of thofe reverend gentlemen have any relation to the noble families their scarfs belong to; the right generally of creating all chaplains, except the domeftic, where there is one, being nothing more than the perquifite of a steward's place, who, if he happens to outlive any confiderable number of his noble masters, 'fhall probably, at one and the fame time, have fifty chaplains, all in their proper accoutrements, of his own creation ; though, perhaps, there hath been neither grace ፡ nor prayer faid in the family fince the introduction of the firft coronet.

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I

Mr SPECTATOR,

I am, &c.?

WISH you would write a philofophical paper about natural antipathies, with a word or two concerning the strength of imagination. I can give you a lift upon the first notice of a rational china cup, of an egg that walks upon two legs, and a quart pot that fings like a nightingale. There is in my neighbourhood a very pretty prattling fhoulder of veal, that fqualls out at the fight of a knife. Then, as for natural antipathies, I know a general officer who was never conquered but by a fmothered rabbit; and a wife that domineers over her hufband by the help of a breast of mutton. A story that relates to myself on this fubject may be thought not unentertaining, efpecially when I affure you that it is literally true. I had long made love to a lady, in the poffeffion of whom I am now the happiest of mankind, whofe hand I fhould have gained with much difficulty without the affiftance of a cat. You must know then, ' that my most dangerous rival had fo ftrong an averfion to this fpecies, that he infallibly fwooned away at the fight of that harmless creature. My friend Mrs Lucy, her maid. having a greater refpect for me and my purse than fhe had for my rival, always took care to pin the tail of a cat under the gown of her miftrefs, whenever fhe knew of his coming: which bad fuch an effect, that every time he entered the room, he looked more like

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