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and shall therefore make this paper a mifcellany of letters. I have, fince my reaffuming the office of SPECTATOR, received abundance of epiftles from gentlemen of the blade, who, I find, have been so used to action, that they know not how to lie ftill. They feem generally to be of opinion, that the fair at home ought to reward them for their services abroad, and that, till the caufe of their country calls them again into the field, they have a fort of right to quarter themselves upon the ladies. In order to favour their approaches, I am defired by fome to enlarge upon the accomplishments of their profeffion, and by others to give them my advice in the carrying on of their attacks. But let us hear what the gentlemen fay for themselves.

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Mr SPECTATOR,

TH

HOUGH it may look fomewhat perverfe, amidst the arts of peace, to talk too much of war, it is but gratitude to pay the laft office to its Manes, fince even peace itself is, in fome measure, obliged to it for its-being.

You have, in your former papers, always recom ⚫mended the accomplished to the favour of the fair; and, I hope, you will allow me to represent fome part of a military life not altogether unneceffary to the forming a gentleman. I need not tell you, that in France, whofe fafhions we have been formerly fo fond of, al• most every one derives his pretences to merit from the fword; and that a man has fcarce the face to make his court to a lady, without fome credentials from the fervice to recommend him. As the profeffion is very ancient, we have reafon to think fome of the greatest men, among the old Romans, derived many of their 'virtues from it, their commanders being frequently in other respects fome of the most shining characters of the age.

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THE army not only gives a man opportunities of exercifing these two great virtues, patience and courage, but often produces them in minds where they had scarce any footing before. I must add, that it is one of the ◄ beft fchools in the world to receive a general notion of mankind in, and a certain freedom of behaviour, which

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is not fo eafily acquired in any other place. At the fame time I must own, that fome military airs are pretty extraordinary, and that a man who goes into the army a coxcomb will come out of it a fort of public nuifance : but a man of fenfe, or one who before had not been fufficiently used to a mixed conversation, generally takes the true turn. The court has in all ages been allowed to be the standard of good breeding; and I believe there is not a juster obfervation in Monfieur Rochefoucault, ⚫ than that a man who has been bred up wholly to businefs, can never get the air of a courtier at court, but "will immediately catch it in the camp.' The reason of this most certainly is, that the very effence of good⚫ breeding and politenefs confifts in feveral niceties, which are so minute that they escape his obfervation, and hẻ ⚫ falls fhort of the original he would copy after; but when he fees the fame things charged and aggravated to a fault, he no fooner endeavours to come up to the pattern which is fet before him, than, though he ftops 'fomewhat short of that, he naturally refts where in reality he ought. I was, two or three days ago, mightily pleased with the obfervation of an humorous gen⚫tleman upon one of his friends, who was in other refpects every way an accomplished person, that he want"ed nothing but a dash of the coxcomb in him;' by ⚫ which he understood a little of that alertnefs and unconcern in the common actions of life, which is ufually 'fo visible among gentlemen of the army, and which a campaign or two would infallibly have given him.

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You will eafily guefs, Sir, by this my panegyric up'on a military education, that I am myself a foldier; and ⚫ indeed I am fo. I remember, within three years after • I had been in the army, I was ordered into the country a recruiting. I had very particular fuccefs in this part of the fervice, and was over and above affured, at my going away, that I might have taken a young lady, who was the most confiderable fortune in the country, along with me, I preferred the purfuit of fame at that time to all other confiderations, and though I was not abfolutely bent on a wooden leg, refolved at least to get a fcare or two for the good of Europe. I have at pre⚫ fent as much as I defire of this fort of honour, and if 'you

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you could recommend me effectually, fhould be well enough contented to pafs the remainder of my days in ⚫ the arms of fome dear kind creature, and upon a pretty estate in the country. This, as I take it, would be fol⚫lowing the example of Lucius Cincinnatus, the old Roman dictator, who at the end of a war left the camp to follow the plough. I am, Sir, with all imaginable respect,

Your most obedient humble fervant,

WILL. WARLY.

:I

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Mr SPECTATOR,

Aм an half-pay officer, and am at prefent with a friend in the country. Here is a rich widow in the neighbourhood, who has made fools of all the foxhunters within fifty miles of her. She declares fhe intends to marry, but has not yet been asked by the man 'fhe could like. She ufually admits her humble admi< rers to an audience or two; but, after she has once gi ven them denial, will never see them more. I am affured by a female relation, that I shall have fair play at her; but as my whole fuccefs depends on my first approaches, I defire your advice, whether I had best storm; or proceed by way of fap.

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I am, SIR,

Yours, &c.

P. S. I HAD almost forgot to tell you, that I have already carried one of her outworks, that is, fecured her 'maid.'

I

Mr SPECTATOR,

Have affifted in feveral fieges in the Low-countries, and being still willing to employ my talents as a foldier and engineer, lay down this morning at feven of the clock before the door of an obftinate female, who had for fome time refufed me admittance. I made a lodgment in an outer parlour about twelve: the enemy * retired to her bed-chamber, yet I ftill purfued, and about two of the clock this afternoon fhe thought fit to

⚫ capitulate.

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capitulate. Her demands are indeed fomewhat high in relation to the fettlement of her fortune. But being in poffeffion of the houfe, I intend to infift upon charte blanche, and am in hopes, by keeping off all other pretenders for the fpace of twenty-four hours, to starve her into a compliance. I beg your speedy advice, and

am,

SIR, Yours,

PETER PUSH."

FROM my camp in Red-Lion Square, Saturday2 four in the afternoon.'

N° 567. Wednesday, July 14.

------Inceptus clamor fruftratur hiantes.

Virg. Æn. 6. v. 498.

-The weak voice deceives their gafping throats.

Dryden.

my cor

I HAVE received private advice from some of refpondents, that if I would give my paper a general run, I should take care to season it with fcandal. I have indeed obferved of late, that few writings fell which are not filled with great names and illustrious titles. The reader generally cafts his eye upon a new book, and if he finds feveral letters separated from one another by a dash, he buys it up, and perufes it with great fatisfaction. An M and an h, a Tand an r, with a fhort line between them, has fold many an infipid pamphlet. Nay, I have known a whole edition go off by virtue of two or three well written &c--'s.

A SPRINKLING of the words faction, Frenchman, Papift, plunderer, and the like fignificant terms, in an Italic character, have alfo a very good effect upon the eye of the purchaser; not to mention fcribbler, liar, rogue,. rafcal, knave, and villain, without which it is impoffible to carry on a modern controversy.

OUR party-writers are so fenfible of the fecret virtue of an innuendo to recommend their productions, that of late they

they never mention the Q-n of Pt at length, though they speak of them with honour, and with that deference which is due to them from every private perfon. It gives a fecret fatisfaction to a peruser of these myfterious works, that he is able to decipher them without help, and by the strength of his own natural parts, to fill up a blank space, or make out a word that has only the first or laft letter to it.

SOME of our authors indeed, when they would be more fatirical than ordinary, omit only the vowels of a great man's name, and fall most unmercifully upon all the confonants. This way of writing was first of all introduced by T-m Br-wn, of facetious memory, who, after having gutted a proper name of all its intermediate vowels, ufed to plant it in his works, and make as free with it as he pleafed, without any danger of the statute.

THAT I may imitate these celebrated authors, and publish a paper which shall be more taking than ordinary, I have here drawn up a very curious libel, in which a reader of penetration will find a great deal of concealed fatire, and, if he be acquainted with the present posture of affairs, will eafily difcover the meaning of it.

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'If there are four perfons in the nation who endeavour to bring all things into confufion, and ruin their native country, I think every honeft Engl-hm-n ought to be upon his guard. That there are fuch, every one will agree with me, who hears me name ***, with his firft friend and favourite ***, not to mention ***; nor • ***. These people may cry ch-rch, ch-rch, as long as they please, but to make ufe of a homely proverb, The proof of the p-dd-ng is in the eating. This I am fure of, that if a certain prince fhould concur with a certain prelate, (and we have Monfieur Z--------n's word for it), our pofterity would be in a fweet p-ckle. Muft the British nation fuffer forfooth, because my lady 2-p-t-s has been difobliged? Or is it reafonable that our English fleet, which used to be the terror of the ocean, should lie wind-bound for the fake of a I love to fpeak out and declare my mind clearly, when I am talking for the good of my country. I will not • make my court to an ill man, though he were a B---y or a T. Nay, I would not flick to call fo wretched

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