« PředchozíPokračovat »
tues of their medicines. One of these gentlemen indeed pretends to an effcctual cure for leanness; what effects it nay have büd upon those who have tried it, I cannot tell; but I am credibly informed, that the call for it has been fo great, that it has cficctually cured the doctor himself of that diitcmper. Could cach of them produce so good an instance of the success of his medicines, they might soon persuade the world into an opinion of them.
I OBSERVE that most of the bills agree in one expresa fion, vis, that (with God's blulling) they perform such and such cures : this exprellion is certainly very proper and emphatical, for that is all they have for it. And if ever a cure is performed on a patient where they are concerned, they can claim no greater Mare in it than l'irgil's lapis in the curing of Enes; he tried his skill, was very alliduous about the wound, and indeed was the only visible incans that relieved the hero; but the poet assures us it was the particular allistance of a deity that speeded the operation. An English
, reader may see the whole story in Mr Dryden's tranflation.
Prop'd on his lance the pensive hero stood, And heurd, and Juw unmov'd, the mourning croud. The fam'd physician fucks his robes around, IVith reudy hands, and haftens to the wound. IVith gentle touches he performs his part, This way and that, soliciting the dart, And exercises all his heav'nly art. „911 fufining fimples, known of fou'reign use, He prelles out, and pours their noble juice ; These first infus'd, to lenify the pain, He tugs with pincers, but he tugs in vain. Then to the patron of his art he pray’d: The patron of his art refus’d his aid.
But now the goddess mother, mov'd with grief, And pierc'd with pity, haftens her relief. A branch of healing Dittany Moe brought, Which in the Cretan fields with care the fought : Rough is the stem, which woolly leaves surround; The leaves with flow'rs, the flow'rs with purplecrown'd: Well known to wounded goats; a sure relief To draw the pointed steel, and ease the grief.
This Venus brings, in clouds involv'd; and brews
Wednesday, July 28.
Juv. sat. 23 T.358.
Chastised, the accusation they retort..
Y paper on the club of widows has brought me in :
several letters; and, among the rest, a long one from Mrs Presidents as follows.
• Smart Sir,'
OU are pleased to be very merry, as you imagine,,
with us widows: and you seem to ground your • fatire on our receiving consolation so soon after the • death of our dears, and the number we are pleased to • admit' for our companions ; but you never reflect what • husbands we have buried, and how short a ferrow the • loss of them was capable of occasioning. For my own,
part, Mrs President, as you call me, my first husband • was married to at.fourteen, by my uncle and guardian,,
• (as I afterwards discovered), by way of sale, for the 6 third
upon as a nicie child, he might breed up after his own fancy; if he killed my chainbermaid before my face, I was
fupposed fo ignorant, how could I think there was any ' hurt in it? When he came home roaring drunk at five • in the morning, it was the custom of all men that live in 'the wold. I was not to see a penny of money, for,
pocr thing, how could I manage it! He took a hand. • some cousin of his into the house (as he said) to be my • Pouf keeper, and to gorern my servants; for how • should I know how to rule a family? and while she . had what money the pleased, which was but reasonable • for the trouble she was at for my good, I was not to be * so censorious as to dislike familiarity and kindness between near relations. I was too great a coward to contend, but not so ignorant a child as to be thus impo• sed upon. I resented his contempt as I ought to do, and as most poor passive blinded wives do, till it pleased Heaven to take away my tyrant, who left me free possession of my own land, and a large jointure. My south and money brought mc many lovers, and several endeavour• ed to establish an interest in my heart while my hufband was in his last sickness; the honourable Edward
Paitfort was one of the first who addressed to me, advi: fed to it by a coulin of his that was my intimate friend,
and knew to a penny what I was worth. Mr Waitfort * is a very agreeable man, and every body would like him
as well as he does himself, if they did not plainly fee .' that his esteem and love is all taken up, and by such an
object as it is impossible to get the better of; I mean • himself. He made no doubt of marrying me within four
or five months, and began to proceed with such an af
fured cafy air, that piqued my pride not to banish him ; '
quite contrary, out of pure malice, I heard his first declaration with fo much innocent surprise, and blushed so • prettily, I perceived it touched his very heart, and he
thought me the best-natured silly poor thing on earth. • When a man has such a notion of a woman, he loves her « better than he thinks he does. I was overjoyed to be • thus revenged on him, for designing on my fortune; * and finding it was in my power to make his heart ake,
• I resolved to complete my conquest, and entertained fe• veral other pretenders. The first impression of my un• designing innocence was so strong in his head, he attri• buted all my followers to the inevitable force of my • charms; and from several blushes and side-glances, con
cluded himself the favourite ; and when I used him like * a dog for my diversion, he thought it was all prudence • and fear, and pitied the violence I did my own inclina* tions to comply with my friends, when I married Sir • Nicholas Fribble of fixty years of age. You know, Sir, 'the case of Mrs Medlar, I hope you would not have had me cry out my eyes for such a husband.
I shed tears enough for my widowhood a week after my marriage,
and when he was put in his grave, reckoning he had • been two years dead, and myself a widow of that stand• ing, I married three weeks afterwards John Sturdy, * Efq; his next heir. I had indeed some thoughts of ta
king Mr Waitfort, but I found he could stay, and besides • he thought it indecent to ask me to marry again, till ' my year was out; so privately resolving him for my
fourth, I took Mr Sturdy for the present. Would you • believe it, Sir, Mr Sturdy was just five and twenty, about ' six feet high, and the stoutest fox-hunter in the country, • and I believe I wished ten thousand times for my
old * Fribble again; he was following his dogs all the day, ' and all the night keeping them up at table with him and
his companions; however I think myself obliged to • them for leading him a chase in which he broke his
neck. Mr Waitfort began his addresses anew, and I verily believe I had married him now, but there was a
young officer in the guards, that had debauched two or • three of my acquaintance, and I could not forbear be
ing a little vain of his courtship. Mr Waitfort heard • of it, and read me such an insolent lecture upon
the • duct of women, I married the officer that very day,
pure spite to him. Half an hour after I was mar* ried, I received a penitential letter from the honourable
Mr Edward Waitfort, in which he begged pardon for . his passion, as proceeding from the violence of his love:
I triumphed when I read it, and could not help, out of " the pride of my heart, shewing it to my new spouse ; and we were very merry together upon it.
• mirth lasted a short time: my young husband was very • much in debt when I married him, and his first action af
terwards was to set up a gilt chariot and six, in fine trap*pings before and behind. I had married so hastily, I had • not the prudence to reserve my estate in my own hand, • my ready money was lost in two nights at the groom• porter's; and my diamond necklace, which was stole I did not know how, I met in the street upon Jenny • Il beatle's neck. My plate vanished piece by piece, and • I had been reduced to downright pewter, if
officer ' had not been deliciously killed in a duel, by a fellow • that had cheated him of five hundred pounds, and after
wards, at his own request, satisfied him and me too, by * running him through the body. Mr IVaitfort was stiú ' in love, and told me so again; and to prevent' all fears of ill usage, he desired me to reserve every thing in my
own hands : but now my acquaintance began to wish me * joy of his conftancy, my charms were declining, and I
could not resist the delight I took in shewing the young • Airts about town, it was yet in my power to give pain
to a man of sense : this, and some private hopes he * would hang himself, and what a glory would it be for
me, and how I should be envied, made me accept of * being third wife to my Lord Friday. I proposed from • my rank and his estate, to live in all the joys of pridé, . but how was I mistaken? he was neither extravagant, nor ill-natured, nor debauched; I suffered however more with him than with all my others. He was fple'- . netic. I was forced to fit whole days hearkening to his imaginary ails; it was impossible to tell what wouid : pleale hiin; what he liked when the sun shined, made him fick when it rained; he had no distemper, but lived ‘in constant fear of them all: my good genius dictated to me to bring him acquainted with Dr Gruel; from that : day he was always contented, because he had names for . all his complaints; the good doctor furnished him with
reasons for all his pains, and prescriptions for every fancy • that troubled him ; in hot weather he lived upon juleps, . • and let blood to prevent fevers; when it grew cloudy
he generally apprehended a consumption; to shorten the « history of this wretched part of my life, he ruined a good • conftitution by endeavouring to mend it, and took leve