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of his nostrils. By such a contrivance, he will avoid much of the unjust mischief he will otherwise commit; he may take the whole of the effluvia, so disagreeable to many, into his own nose; and not, like Pandora, with a mischievous disregard to general consequences, diffuse the convulsion-exciting contents indiscriminately into the world around him. Yours, &c.
A DEFENCE OF SNUFF-TAKING,
SIR, -A late correspondent, politely enough,
SNUFF's known for a nostrum and famous specific, Of pow'rs ever potent, and virtues prolific ;. It may be applied with success in a school, Where the teacher is plagu'd with a dunce or a fool ; , When Euclid's diagrams and problems are solving, Or astronomers' brains like the planets revolving ; When plagu'd with pedantical, crabbed construc
tions, Or lost in a labyrinth of tangents and fluxions,
Immediate relief may in truth be expected,
This wondrous Catholicon, famous for teachers, Is equally worthy th' attention of preachers ; When puzzled they pore o’er some intricate text, Whose equivocal sense is by critics perplex’d; Or ev’n in the pulpit, if mem'ry should fail, 'Tis but making a pause--a pinch to inhale. The formal physician, when a patient applies, Shakes his head, raps his box, and pretends to look
wise ; E'en his worship the Justice, when quoting from
Coke, May perhaps misapply, though truth fall by the
stroke; Should a barrister cavil, his worship looks gruffGives a frown from the bench-and decides with a
Reviewers, condemn'd to the froth and whipt
Of some lunatic fuddled in Helicon's stream,
If the proof of my doctrine on witnesses rested, From the beau to the beggar it could be attested:
When Chloe treats Fopling with vapours or spleen,
To lengthen the list of the snuff-taking train, Comes the poor poetaster, who travails in pain; Tagging rhymes as he can to a verb’s termination, The alphabet tort'ring with strange combination: He may bite at his quill, but his wisest resource is To replenish his snuff-box, 'twill gain him new forces.
And to prove the assertion I've just now advanc'd, At this critical moment, by fate it has chanc'd, That my brains and my box are got empty together, And, to speak in plain Scotch, shews the end of my
tether: Hence rhymes are a-wanting, else more might be said, On the benefit both to finances and trade, That arise from this pro bono publico plan, To the tax-gath'ring tribe, and the nice artizani, From invisible hinges, a la mode de Paris, To the crooked Scotch horn, or papier machie.
But Apollo takes leave by th’ olfactory nerve, And wanting a stimulus, fancy must starve; TO ANTI-TABAC, though not vanquished, I yield, For accident leaves him possessed of the field : The Muse uninspired, candonought without sneeshin, But will stand tothe charge when she gets ammunition.
Scots Magazine, 1804.
ANSWER TO PHILO-TABAC.
MYNHEER Philo-Tabac, I have casten an eye
Wae's my heart that your sneeshen did last you sae
lang, To inspire sae foolish and idle a sang; When your nostrum next moves you şic verses to
spin, May your snuff-box be empty before you begin.
When Scotia's fam'd bards of old took their flight, They drank of Castalia with eager delight; Nae dull snuffy nostrums confounded their brains, '. But pure from the fountain they warbl'd their strains.
I grant, Philo-Tabac, that judges and preachers, Quack-doctors, reviewers, poetasters, and teachers, Who fuddle their brains with dull poisonous snuff, Must needs vomit forth a deal of nonsense and buff.
But why, though a slave to its slovenly power, Recommend it to those who o'er Helicon soar ? Thus the rake who ne'er felt the chaste raptures of
bliss, Is lavish in praise of the St-ws and his M-ss.
Had mighty Apollo, of Poets the Daddy, *** His son, or his grandson, or stepson, e'er ca'd ye, You had spurn'd the foul nostrum with a sneer and a huff,
012 And ta'en for your motto, D-mn-t--n
to snuff. *.112 Deus nadoslova
*Ibid. Inste 'lo jedan danas postos de trol
LINES BY AN AULD PLOUGHMAN.
SIR-I maun beg your
When winds o'er Cairn o mount are howlin',
wit for « lack o' knowledge;". ;