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Sir John. Thou shalt, Moll.
Wid. Why la you now! did I not desire you Mary. And to let me have money in my purse, to put off your suit quite and clean when you to go whither I will.
came to ine again? How say you? Did I not? Sir John. All this.
Sir Oliv. But the sincere love which my heart Mary. Then come; whatsoe'er comes on't, bears youwe'll be made sure together before the maids Wid. Go to, I'll cut you off:--Aod sir Oliver i'the kitchen.
[Exeunt. to put you in comfort afar off, my fortune is read
me; I must marry again. SCENE II.-A Room in the Widow's House, Sir Oliv. O blest fortune! with a door at the side leading to another apart
Wid. But not as long as I can choose :--nay, ment.
I'll hold out well,
Sir Olid. Yet are my hopes now fairer.
Frail. O madam, madam. Frail
. O no madam; he's above at breakfast, Wid. How now? what's the haste? with (sir reverence) a cunjurer.
(FRAILTY whispers her. Wid. A conjurer! What manner of fellow is Sir And. 'Faith, mistress Frances, I'll maintain be?
you gallantly. I'll bring you to court; wean you Frail
. O, a wonderous rare fellow, mistress; very among the fair society of ladies, poor kinswomen Strongly made upward, for he goes in a buff jerkin. of mine, in cloth of silver; beside, you shail have He says he will fetch sir Godfrey's chain again if your monkey, your parrot, your musk-cat, and it hang between heaven and earth.
your piss, piss, piss. Wid. What! he will not? Then he's an excel- Fran. It will do very well. lent fellow, I warrant. How happy were that
Wid. What does he mean to conjure here woinan to be blest with such a husband ! A cun
then? How shall I do to be rid of these knights? ning man! How does he look, Frailty? Very Please you, gentlemen, to walk a while in the swartly
, I warrant; with black beard, 'scorch'd garden, to gather a pink or a gilly-flower? cheeks, and smoky eyebrows.
Both. With all our hearts, lady, and 'count us Frail . Fo! Hle's neither smoke-dried, nor
favoured. scorch'd, nor black, nor nothing. I tell you, ma
[Exeunt Sir ANDREW, Sir Oliver, and dam, he looks as fair to see to as one of us.
FRAILTY. The Widow and FRANCES go not think but it you saw him once, you'd take him
in to the adjoining Room. to be a Christian.
Sir God. [within.] Step in, Nicholas; look, is Fran. So fair, and yet so cunning! that's to be the coast clear. wonder'd at, mother.
Nick. (within.] 0, as clear as a cat's eye, sir. Enter Sir Oliver MUCKHILL, and Sir ANDREW
Sir God. [within.] Then enter Captain ConjuTIPSTAFF. Sir Olio. Bless you, sweet lady.
Enter Sir GODFREY, IDLE, PYEBOARD, EDMOND,
and NICHOLAS. Sir And. And you, fair mistress.
[Erit Frailty. Now, how like you your room, sir? Wid. Coades, what do you mean, gentlemen? Idle. O, wonderful convenient. Fie, did I not give you your answers?
Edm. I can tell you, captain, simply though it Sir Oliv. Sweet lady.
lies here, 'tis the fairest room in my mother's Wid. Well, I will not stick with you for a kiss: house : as dainty a room to conjure in, methinks. daughter, kiss the gentleman for once.
Why, you may bid, I cannot tell how many devils Fran. Yes, forsooth.
welcome in't; my father has had twenty in't at Sir And. I'm proud of such a favour. Wid. Truly la, sir Oliver, you're inuch to
Pye. What! devils ? blame, to come again when you know my mind Edin. Devils ! 10; deputies, and the wealthiso well delivered as a widow could deliver a est men he could get. thing.
Sir God. Nay, put by your chats now ; fall to Sir Olio. But I expect a further comfort, lady. I your business roundly : the fescue of the dial is
That there may be no farther strife about this word, be it known, that it is a term of dog-breakers. When an ancient leam-bound was disposed to range too fast and wide, a long piece of rope was fastened to his collar, which, dragging loose on the ground, impeded his movements, and lessened his impetuosity. The same thing is done to a modern pointer in similar circumstances, and is still called trashing The impediment of the bay delayed Caratach's flight; and, in the present passage, the pied liveries are metaphosically said to trash after the coach like the long rope.
upon the christ-cross of noon.57 But O, hear me, these roaring tempests will destroy all the fruits captain ; a qualm comes o'er my stomach. of the earth, and tread upon my corn-(thunder) Idle. Why, what's the matter, sir?
Ob-in the country. Sir God. O, how if the devil should prove a Idle. Gogdegog hobgoblin hunks hounslow bockknave and tear the hangings !
leyte coonbpark. Idle. Foh! I warrant you, sir Godfrey.
Wid. (at the door. O brother, brother, what a Edm. Ay, nuncle, or spit fire upon the cieling? tempest's in the garden! Sure there's some corr
Sir God. Very true too, for 'tis but thin plais- juration abroad. ter’d, and 't will quickly take hold o’the laths; and Sir God. (at the door.) 'Tis at home, sister. it he chance to spit downward too, he will burn Pye. By aud by l'il step in, captain. all the boards.
Idle. Nunc nunc rip-gaskins ips drip
dropite. Idle. My life for yours, sir Godfrey.
Sir God. (at the door.) He drips and drops, Sir God. My sister is very curious and dainty poor man: alas, alas" of this rooin, I can tell you; and therefore if he Pye. Now, I come. must needs spit, I pray desire him to spit in the Idie. 0-sulphure soot face. chimney.
Pye. Arch-conjurer, what wouldst thou with Pye. Why, assure you, sir Godfrey, he shall not
me ? be brought up with so little manners, to spit and Sir God. (at the door.] O, the devil, sister, in spawl o' the floor.
the dining.chamber ! Sing, sister; I warrant you Sir God. Why I thank you, good captain; pray that will keep him out :-quickly, quickly, quickly. have a care. (Idle and PYEBOARD retire to the Pye. So, so, so ; I'll release thee. Enough upper end of the Room.] Ay, fall to your circle; captain, enough; allow us some time to laugh a we'll not trouble you I warrant you. Come, we'll little; They're shuddering and shaking by this into the next room; and because we'll be sure to time, as if an earthquake were in their kidneys. keep him out there, we'il bar up the duor with Idle. Sirrah George, how was't, how was't? some of the godly's zealous works.
Did I do't well enough? Edm. That will be a fine device, nuncle; and Pye. Woult believe me, captain? better than because the ground shall be as holy as the door, any conjurer; for here was no harm in this, and I'll tear two or three rosaries in pieces, and strew yet their horrible expectations satisfied well. You the pieces about the chamber. (Lightning and were much beholden to thunder and lightning at thunder] Oh! the devil already.
this time; it graced you well, I can telt you. [Sir GODFREY and Edmond run into the ad- Idle. I must needs say so, George. Sirrab, if joining Room
we could have convey'd hither cleanly a cracker Pye. 'Sloot, captain, speak somewhat for shame: or a fire-wheel, it had been admirable. it ligbrens and thunders before thou wilt begin. Pye. Blurt, blurt ! there's nothing remains to Why when
put thee to pain now, captain. Idle. Pray peace, George; thou'lt make me Idle. Pain? I protest, George, my heels are laugh anon, and spoil all.
sorer than a Whitsun inorris-dancer's. (Lightning and thunder. Pye. All's past now; only to reveal that the Pye. O, now it begins again; now, now, now, chain's in the garden, where thou knowest it has captain.
lain these two days. Idle. Rhumbos ragdayon pur pur colucundrion Idle. But I fear that fox Nicholas has reveald hois plois.
it already Sir God. (at the door.] O admirable conjurer! Pye. Fear not, caprain; you must put it to the he has fetch'd thunder already.
venture now. Nay 'is time; call upon them, Pye. Hark, hark !-again captain.
take pity on them; for I believe some of thenı Idle. Benjamino gaspois kay gosgotkoteron um- are in a pitiful case by this time. brois.
Idle. Sir Godfrey, Nicholas, kinsman. 'Sfoot Sir God. [ut the door.] 0, I would the devil they're fast at it still
, George-Sir Godfrey. would come away quickly; he has no conscience Sir God. (at the door.] 0, is that the devil's to put a man to such pain.
voice? How comes he to know my name? Pye. Again.
Idle. Fear not, sir Godfrey; all's quieted. Idle. Flowste kakopumpos dragone leloomenos hodge podge.
Enter Sir GODFREY, the Widow, FRANCES, and Pye. Well said, captain.
NICHOLAS, Sir God. [at the door.) So long a coming? O, would I had ne'er begun it now! for I fear me Sir God. What, is he laid ?
57 The fescue of tlie dial is upon the christ-cross of noon.---A fescue is a small wire, by which those who teach children to read, point out the letters.--- MALONE.
Idle. Laid; and has newly dropped your chain Edm. Ha, ha, ha! Say, 'twas a spirit. in the garden.
Idle. Shall 17-May be some spirit that haunts Sir God. In the garden ? in our garden? the circle. Idle. Your garden.
[EDMOND pulls PYEBOARD by the nose. Sir God. O sweet conjurer! whereabouts there? Pye. O‘my liose, again! Pray conjure then, Idle. Look well about a bank of rosemary. captain.
Sir God. Sister, the rosemary bank. Come, Edm. Troth, this is excellent; I may do any come; there's my chain, he says.
knavery now, and never be seen. And now I Wid. Oh, happiness ! run, run,
remember, sir Godfrey, my uncle, abused me [Ereunt Widow, Sir GODFREY, FRANCES, and t'other day, and told tales of me to my mother. NICHOLAS.
Troth now I'm invisible, I'll hit him a sound Edm. [at the door.] Captain Conjurer? wherret on the ear when he comes out o' the garIdle. Who? Master Edmond?
den. I may be revenged on him now finely. Edm. Ay, master Edmond. May I come in safely without danger, think you ?
Enter Sir GODFREY, the Widow, and FRANCES. Idle. Pub, long ago; it is all as 'twas at first. Sir God. I have my chain again; my chain's. Fear nothing ; pray come near: how now, man? found again. O sweet captain! O admirable con Enter EDMOND.
jurer! (EDMOND strikes him] Oh! what mean
you by that, nephew? Edm. O ! this room's mightily hot i'faith. 'Slid, Edm. Nephew ? I hope you do not know me, my shirt sticks to my belly already. What a uncle. steam the rogue has left behind him! Foh! this Wid. Wby did you
your uncle, sir? room must be air’d, gentlenien; it smells horsibly Edm. Why, captain, am I not invisible? of brimstone : let's open the windows.
Idle. A good jest, George.--Not now you are Pye. 'Faith master Edmond, 'tis but your con- not, sir. Why did not you see me, when I did
uncharm you? Edm. I would you could make me believe that, Edm. Not I, by my troth, captain.—Then pray i'faith. Why, do you think I cannot smell his sa- you pardon me, uncle; I thought I'd been invisi vour from another? Yet I take it kindly from ble when I struck you. you, because you would not put me in a fear, Sir God. So, you would do't? Go, you're a footi'faith. On my troth, I shall love you for this the longest day of my life.
And were I not o'ercome with greater joy, Idle. Pub, 'tis nothing, sir; love me when you I'd make you taste correction.
Edn. Čorrection ! pish. No neither you nor Edm. Mass, now I remember I'll look whether my inother shall think to whip me as you have be bas singed the hangings, or no.
done. Pye. Captain, to entertain a little sport till they Sir God. Captain, my joy is such, I know not come, make him believe, you'll charm him invi- how to thank you : let me embrace you. O wg sible. He's apt to admire any thing you see. sweet chain! gladness e'en makes me giddy. let me alune to give force to it.
Rare man ! 'twas just i’the-rosemary hank, as if Idle, Go; retire to yonder end then.
one should have laid it there. O cunning, cunning! Edm. I protest you are a rare fellow; are you Wid. Well, seeing iny fortune tells me I must not?
marry, let me marry a man of wit, a man of parts. Idle. O master Exlmond, you know but the Here's a worthy captain, and 'tis a fine title truly least part of me yet. Why now at this instant i la to be a captain's wife. A captain's wife! it could but flourish my wand thrice o'er your hcad, goes very finely: beside, all the world knows that and charm you invisible.
a worthy captain is a fit companion to any lord: Edm. What! you could not ? make me walk then why not a sweet bed-fellow for any lady? invisible, man! I should laugh at that i'faith. I'll have it so. Troth, I'll requite your kindness, an you'll do's,
Enter FrailTY. good Captain Conjurer.
Idle. Nay, I should hardly deny you such a Frail. O mistress—gentlemen-there's the small kindness, master Edmond Plus. Why, look bravest sight coining along this way. you, sir, 'tis no more but this, and thus, and again, Wid. What brave sight? and now you're invisible.
Frail. O, one going to burying, and another go Edm. Am I i'faith? Who would think it? ing to hanging.
Idle. You see the fortune-teller yonder at far- Mrd. A rueful sight. ther end o' the chamber. Go toward him; do Pye. 'Sfoot, captain, I'll pawn my life the corwhat you will with him, he shall never find you. porai's coffin'd, and old Skirmish the soldier goEdm. Say you so? I'll try that i'taith.
ing to execution; and 'tis now full about the time
(Jostles him. of his waking. Hold out a little longer, sleepy Pye. How now, captain? Who's that jostled inc? potion, and we shall have excellent admiration ; Idle. Jostled you? I saw nobod:.
for I'll take upon nie the cure of bio. [Errunt.
Pye. Nay, pray be still; you'll make him more SCENE III.-The Street before the Widow's giddy else. He knows nobody yet. House.
Oath. 'Zounds! where am I? Covered with
snow! I marvel. Enter, from the House, Sir GODFREY, the Widow, Pye. Nay, I knew he would swear the first IDLE, PYEBOARD, EDMOND, FRAILTY, and Ni- thing he did as soon as ever he came to his life
A Coffin, with Corporal Oath in it, again. brought in. Then enter SKIRMISH bound, and Oath. 'Sfoot, hostess, some hot porridge.0, led in by Officers ; the Sheriff, sc. attending. 0!-lay on a dozen of faggots in the Moon Par
lour, there. Frail. O here they come, here they come ! Pye. Lady, you must needs take a little pity
Pye. Now must I close secretly with the sol- of him i'faith, and send him in to your kitchen dier; prevent his impatience, or else all's disco- fire. vered.
Wid. O, with all my heart, sir: Nicholas and Wid. O lamentable seeing these were those Frailty, help to bear him in. brothers that fought and bled before our door. Nich. Bear him in, quoth-a ! Pray call out
Sir God, What! they were not, sister! the maids: I shall ne'er have the heart to do't, Skir. George, look to't; I'll peach at Tyburn indeed la. else.
Frail. Nor I neither; I cannot abide to handle Pye. Mum.-Gentles all, vouchsafe me au- a ghost of all men. dience,
Oath. 'Sblood, let me see- - where was I drunk And you, especially, good master sheriff: last night? heh? Yon man is bound to execution,
Wid. O, shall I bid you once again take him Because he wounded this that now lies coffin'd. away?
Sher. True, true; he shall have the law,—and Frail Why we are as fearful as you, I warI know the law.
Oh! Pye. But under favour, master sheriff, if this Wid. Away, villains ! bid the maids make him man had been cured and safe again, he should a caudle presently, to settle his brain,-or a poshave been released then?
set of sack ; quickly, quickly. Sher. Why make you question of that, sir?
Ereunt FRAILTY and NICHOLAS, pushing Pye. Then I release him freely; and will take
in the Corporal. upon me the death that he should die, if, within Sher. Sir, whatsoever you are, I do inore than a little season, I do not cure him to his proper admire you. health again.
Wid. O ay, if you knew all, master sheriff, as Sher. How, sir! recover a dead man! That you shall do, you would say then, that here were were most strange of all,
two of the rarest men within the walls of Chris. Fran. Sweet sir, I love you dearly, and could tendom. wish my best part yours. O do not undertake Sher. Two of them? O wonderful! Officers, I such an impossible venture!
discharge you; set him free; all's in tune. Pye. Love you me? Then for your sweet sake Sir God. Ay, and a banquet ready by this time, I'll do't. Let me entreat the corpse to be set master sheriff; to which I most cheerfully invite down.
you, and your late prisoner there. See you this Sher. Bearers, set down the coffin.—This were goodly chain, sir? Mum! no more words; 'twas wonderful, and worthy Stowe's Chronicle. lost, and is found again. Come, my inestimable
Pye. I pray bestow the freedom of the air bullies, we'll talk of your noble acts in sparkling upon our wholesome art. Mass ! his cheeks be charnico; and, instead of a jester, we'll have the gin to receive natural warmth. Nay, good cor- ghost in the white sheet sit at the upper end of poral, wake betime, or I shall have a longer sleep the table. than you. 'Sloot! if he should prove dead in- Sher. Excellent, merry man, i'faith! deed now, he were fully revenged upon me for
[Exeunt all but FRANCES. making a property of him: yet I bad rather run Fran. Well, seeing I am enjoined to love, and upon the ropes, than have a rope like a tetter
marry, run upon me. O, he stirs ! he stirs again ! look, My foolish vow thus I cashier to air, gentleinen, he recovers! he starts, he rises ! Which first begot it. Now, Love, play thy part; Sher. 0, 0, defend us! Out, alas!
The scholar reads his lecture in my heart. [Erit.
SCENE I.-The Street before the Widow's
Idle. O, the musicians ! I pr’ythee, master Ed
mond, call them, and liquor them a little. Enter EDMOND and FRAILTY.
Edm. That I will, sweet captain father-in
and make each of them as drunk as a comEdm. This is the marriage-morning for my mon fiddler,
(Ereunt. mother and my sister.
Frail. O me, master Edmond! we shall have rare doings.
SCENE II.- The same. Edm. Nas go, Frailty, run to the sexton; you know my mother will be married at Saint Ant- Enter Mary in a Balcony. To her below, Sir lings. Hie thee; 'tis past five; bid them open
Joux PENNYDUB. the church-door: my sister is almost ready. Frail What, already, master Ednjond?
Sir John. Whew! mistress Moll, mistress Moll. Edm. Nay, go; hie thee. First run to the Mary. Who's there? sexton, and run to the clerk; and then run to Sir John. 'Tis I. master Pigman thc parson; and then run to the Mary. Who? sir John Pennydub? O you're snilliner; and then run home again.
an early cock i'faith. Who would have thought Frail. Here's run, run, run.
you to be so rare a stirrer? Edm. But hark, Frailty.
Sir John. Pr'ythee, Moll, let me coine up. Frail. What, more yet?
Mary. No, by my faith, sir John; I'll keep you Edm. Ilave ihe maids remembered to strew down; for you knights are very dangerous, if once the way to the church?
you get above, Frail. Fob! an hour ago : I helped them my- Sir John. I'll not stay i'faith. self.
Mary. I'faith you shall stay; for, sir John, you Edm. Away, away, away, away then.
must note the nature of the climates : your northFrail. Away, away, away, away then.
ern wench in her own country may well hold out
Exit Frailty. till she he fifteen; but if she touch the south once, Edm. I shall have a simple father-in-law, a and come up to London, here the chimes go prebrave captain, able to beat all our street,-cap- sently after twelve. tain Idle. Now, my lady-mother will be fitted Sir John. O thou'rt a mad wench, Moll: but for a delicate name,-my lady Idle, my lady I pr’ythee make haste, for the priest is
beIdle! the finest name that can be for a woman :
fore. and then the scholar, master Pyeboard, for my Mary. Do you follow him; I'll not be long afsister Frances, that will be mistress Frances Pye- ter.
[E.reunt. board; mistress Frances Pyeboard! they'll keep a good table, I warrant you. Now all the knights'
SCENE III.A Room in Sir OLIVER MUCKnoses are put out of joint; they may go to a bone
HILL's House. setter's cow. Enter Idle and PYEBOARD, with Attendants.
Enter Sir OLIVER MUCKHILL, Sir ANDREW TIP
STAFF, and SKIRMISH, Hark, hark ! O, who come here with two torches before them? My sweet captain, and my fine Sir Olio. O monstrous, unheard of forgery! scholar. O, how bravely they are shot up in one Sir And. Knight, I never heard of such villainy night! They look like fine Britons now methinks. in our own country, in my life. Here's a gallant change i'faith! 'Slid, they have Sir Oliv. Why, 'tis impossible. Dare you mainhired men and all, by the clock.
words? Idle. Master Edmond; kind, honest, dainty Skir. Dare we? even to their weazon-pipes. We master Edmond.
know all their plots; they cannot squander with Edm. Foh, sweet captain father-in-law! A rare us. They have kravishly abused us, made only perfume i'faith.
properties of us, to advance themselves upon our Pye. What, are the brides stirring? May we shoulders; but they shall rue their abuses. This steal upon them, think'st thou, master Edmond? inorning they are to be married.
Eam. Foh, they're e'en upon readiness, I can Sir Olio. 'Tis too true. Yet if the widow be assure you; for they were at their torch e'en not too much besotted on sleights and forgeries, now: by the same token I tumbled down the the revelation of their villainies will make them stairs.
loathsome. And to that end, be it in private to Pye. Alas, poor master Edmond.
you, I sent late last night to an honourable pere