1711 my Returns will be sufficient to answer my Expence No. 174. and Hazard; and this is never to be done without the Wednes Skill of Numbers. For Instance, if I am to trade to day, Turkey, I ought beforehand to know the Demand of Sept. 19, our Manufactures there as well as of their Silks in England, and the customary Prices that are given for both in each Country, I ought to have a clear Know ledge of these Matters before-hand, that I may presume upon sufficient Returns to answer the Charge of the Cargo I have fitted out, the Freight and Assurance out and home, the Customs to the Queen, and the Interest of my own Money, and besides all these Expences a reasonable Profit to my self. Now what is there of Scandal in this Skill? What has the Merchant done that he should be so little in the good Graces of Sir ROGER? he throws down no Man's Enclosures, and tramples upon no Man's Corn; he takes nothing from the industrious Labourer; he pays the poor Man for his Work; he communicates his Profit with Mankind; by the Preparation of his Cargo and the Manufacture of his Returns, he furnishes Employment and Subsist ance to greater Numbers than the richest Nobleman; and even the Nobleman is obliged to him for finding out foreign Markets for the Produce of his Estate, and for making a great Addition to his Rents; and yet 'tis certain that none of all these Things could be done by him without the Exercise of his Skill in Numbers. This is the Oeconomy of the Merchant, and the Con duct of the Gentleman must be the same, unless by scorning to be the Steward, he resolves the Steward shall be the Gentleman. The Gentleman no more than the Merchant is able without the Help of Numbers to account for the Success of any Action, or the Prudence of any Adventure, If, for Instance, the Chace is his whole Adventure, his only Returns must be the Stag's Horns in the great Hall, and the Fox's Nose upon the Stable Door, Without Doubt Sir ROGER knows the full Value of these Returns; and if before-hand he had com puted the Charges of the Chace, a Gentleman of his Discretion would certainly have hang'd up all his Dogs, he would never have brought back so many fine Horses to to the Kennel, he would never have gone so often like Blast over Fields of Corn. If such too had been the Conduct of all his Ancestors, he might truly have boasted at this Day that the Antiquity of his Family had never been sullied by a Trade; a Merchant had never been permitted with his whole Estate to purchase a Room for his Picture in the Gallery of the COVERLYS, or to claim his Descent from the Maid of Honour. But 'tis very happy for Sir ROGER that the Merchant paid so dear for his Ambition. 'Tis the Misfortune of many other Gentlemen to turn out of the Seats of their Ancestors, to make Way for such new Masters as have been more exact in their Accompts than themselves; and certainly he deserves the Estate a great deal better who has got it by his Industry, than he who has lost it by his Negligence, No. 175, Thursday, September 20, Proxímus a tectis ignis defenditur aegre,—Ovid. Rem, Am, my T SHALL this Day entertain my Readers with two or three Letters I have received from my Correspondents: The first discovers to me a Species of Females which have hitherto escaped my Notice, and is as follows, 'Mr. SPECTATOR, I am a young Gentleman of a competent Fortune, and a sufficient Taste of Learning, to spend five or six Hours every Day very agreeably among my Books. That I might have nothing to divert me from my Studies, and to avoid the Noises of Coaches and Chair-men, I have taken Lodgings in a very narrow Street, not far from White-hall; but it is my Misfortune to be so posted, that my Lodgings are directly opposite to those of a Jezebel. You are to know, Sir, that a Jezebel (so called by the Neighbourhood from displaying her pernicious Charms at her Window) appears constantly dress'd at her Sash, and has a thousand little Tricks and Fooleries to attract the Eyes of all the idle young Fellows in the Neighbour hood. I have seen more than six Persons at once from their ! 1711. their several Windows observing the Jezebel I am now No, 175, complaining of I at first looked on her my self with the Thursday, highest Contempt, could divert my self with her Airs Sept. 20, for half an Hour, and afterwards take up my Plutarch with great Tranquility of Mind; but was a little vexed to find that in less than a Month she had considerably stoln upon my Time, so that I resolved to look at her no more. But the Jezebel, who, as I suppose, might think it a diminution to her Honour, to have the Number of her Gazers lessen'd, resolved not to part with me so, and begun to play so many new Tricks at her Window, that it was impossible for me to forbear observing her. I verily believe she put her self to the Expence of a verily new Wax Baby on purpose to plague me; she used to dandle and play with this Figure as impertinently as if it had been a real Child: Sometimes she would let fall a Glove or a Pin-Cushion in the Street, and shut or open her Casement three or four times in a Minute, When I had almost weaned my self from this, she came in her Shift Sleeves, and dress'd at the Window. I had no way left but to let down my Curtains, which I submitted to, though it considerably darkned my Room, and was pleased to think that I had at last got the better of her; but was surprized the next Morning to hear her talking out of her Window quite cross the Street, with another Woman that lodges over me: I am since informed, that she made her a Visit, and got acquainted with her, within three Hours after the Fall of my Window Curtains. Sir, I am plagued every Moment in the Day one way or other in my own Chambers; and the Jezebel has the Satisfaction to know, that, though I am not looking at her, I am list'ning to her impertinent Dialogues that_pass over my Head. I would immediately change my Lodgings, but that I think it might look like a plain Confession that I am conquered; and besides this, I am told that most Quarters of the Town are infested with these Creatures. If they are so, I am sure 'tis such an Abuse, as a Lover of Learning and Silence ought to take Notice of I am, Sir, Yours, &c.' I No. 175. 1711. I am afraid, by some Lines in this Letter, that my Thursday, young Student is touched with a Distemper which he Sept. 20, hardly seems to dream of, and is too far gone in it to receive Advice. However, I shall Animadvert in due time on the Abuse which he mentions, having my self observed a Nest of Jezebels near the Temple, who make it their Diversion to draw up the Eyes of young Templars, that at the same time they may see them stumble in an unlucky Gutter which runs under the Window. 'Mr. SPECTATOR, I have lately read the Conclusion of your forty seventh Speculation upon Butts with great Pleasure, and have ever since been throughly perswaded that one of those Gentlemen is extreamly necessary to enliven Conversation. I had an Entertainment last Week upon the Water for a Lady to whom I make my Addresses, with several of our Friends of both Sexes. To divert the Company in general, and to shew my Mistress in particular my Genius for Raillery, I took one of the most celebrated Butts in Town along with me. It is with the utmost Shame and Confusion that I must acquaint you with the Sequel of my Adventure: As soon as we were got into the Boat I played a Sentence or two at my Butt which I thought very smart, when my ill Genius, who I verily believe inspired him purely for my Destruction, suggested to him such a Reply, as got all the Laughter on his side. I was dashed at so unexpected a Turn, which the Butt per ceiving, resolved not to let me recover my self, and pursuing his Victory, rallied and tossed me in a most unmerciful and barbarous manner 'till we came to Chelsea. I had some small Success while we were eating Cheese Cakes; but coming Home he renewed his Attacks with his former good Fortune, and equal Diversion to the whole Company, In short, Sir, I must ingenuously own that I was never so handled in all my Life; and to compleat my Misfortune, I am since told that the Butt, flushed with his late Victory, has made a Visit or two to the dear Object of my Wishes i 1711 Wishes, so that I am at once in danger of losing all No. 175, my Pretensions to Wit, and my Mistress into the Thursday, Bargain This, Sir, is a true Account of my present Sept. 20, Troubles, which you are the more obliged to assist me in, as you were your self in a great measure the Cause of them, by recommending to us an Instrument, and not instructing us at the same time how to play upon it. I have been thinking whether it might not be highly convenient, that all Butts should wear an Inscription affixed to some Part of their Bodies, shewing on which side they are to be come at, and that if any of them are Persons of unequal Tempers, there should be some Method taken to inform the World at what Time it is safe to attack them, and when you had best let them alone. But submitting these Matters to your more serious Consideration, I am, Sir, Yours, &c.' I have, indeed, seen and heard of several young Gentlemen under the same Misfortune with my pres ent Correspondent. The best Rule I can lay down for them to avoid the like Calamities for the future, is, throughly to consider not only Whether their Com panions are weak, but Whether themselves are Wits. The following Letter comes to me from Exeter, and being credibly informed that what it contains is Matter of Fact, I shall give it my Reader as it was sent me. 'Mr. SPECTATOR, Exeter, Sept. 7, You were pleased in a late Speculation to take Notice of the Inconvenience we lie under in the Country, in not being able to keep Pace with the Fashion; but there is another Misfortune which we are subject to, and is no less grievous than the former, which has hitherto escaped your Observation. I mean, the having things palmed upon us for London Fashions, which were never once heard of there. A Lady of this Place had some time since a Box of the newest Ribbons sent down by the Coach: Whether it was her own malicious Invention, or the Wantonness of |