none.

Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come; by gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if

he be come.

Fal. Want no mistress Ford, master Brook, you Rug. He is wise, sir: he knew your worship shall want none. I shall be with her (I may tell would kill him, if he came.

you,) by her own appointment; even as you came Caius. By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill in to me, her assistant, or go-between, parted from kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you me: I say, I shall be with her between ten and how I vill kill him. cleven; for at that time the jealous rascally knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed.

Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, sir?

you

Rug. Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
Catus. Villain-a, take your rapier.
Rug. Forbear; here's company.

Enter Host, Shallow, Slender, and Page.

Host. 'Bless thee, bully doctor.

Shal. 'Save you, master doctor Caius.
Page. Now, good master doctor!
Slen. Give you good-morrow, sir.

Caius. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come

for?

Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not-yet I wrong him, to call him poor; they say, the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money; for the which his wife seems to me wellfavoured. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home. Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir; that might avoid him, if you saw him. Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see Fal. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I thee traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there; will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, my cudgel it shall hang like a meteor o'er the thy distance, thy montánt. Is he dead, my Ethicuckold's horns: master Brook, thou shalt know, opian? is he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! 1 will predominate o'er the peasant, and thou shalt What says my Esculapius? my Galen? my heart lie with his wife.-Come to me soon at night :-) of elder? ha? is he dead, bully Stale? is he dead? Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his stile;' Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of thou master Brook, shalt know him for a knave de world: he is not show his face.

5

and cuckold-come to me soon at night. [Exit. Host. Thou art a Castilian king, Urinal! HecFord. What a damned Epicurean rascal is this!tor of Greece, my boy!

-My heart is ready to crack with impatience- Caius. I pray you, bear witness that me have Who says, this is improvident jealousy? My wife stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he hath sent to him, the hour is fixed, the match is is no come.

made. Would any man have thought this ?-See Shal. He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is the hell of having a false woman! my bed shall a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you be abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation should fight, you go against the hair of your pregnawn at; and I shall not only receive this villa- fessions: is it not truc, master Page? nous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abomi- Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been nable terms, and by him that does me this wrong, a great fighter, though now a man of peace. Terms! names!--Amaimon sounds well; Lu- Shal. Bodykins, master Page, though I now be cifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devil's old, and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my additions, the names of fiends: but cuckold! wit-finger itches to make one: though we are justices, tol2 cuckold! the devil himself hath not such a and doctors, and churchmen, master Page, we name. Page is an ass, a secure ass; he will trust have some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons his wife, he will not be jealous: I will rather of women, master Page.

trust a Fleming with my butter, parson Hugh the Page. 'Tis true, master Shallow. Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman with my Shal. It will be found so, master Page. Master aquavitæ bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am gelding, than my wife with herself: then she plots, sworn of the peace; you have showed yourself a then she ruminates, then she devises; and what wise physician, and sir Hugh hath shown himself they think in their hearts they may effect, they a wise and patient churchman: you must go with will break their hearts but they will effect. Heaven me, master doctor.

be praised for my jealousy!-Eleven o'clock theHost. Pardon, guest justice :-A word, monsieur hour; I will prevent this, detect my wife, be reMuck-water?? venged on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will Caius. Muck-vater! vat is dat ? about it; better three hours too soon, than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! valour, bully. [Exil.

cuckold!

Host. Muck-water, in our English tongue, is

Caius. By gar, then I have as much muck-vater as de Englishman:-Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me vill cut his ears.

Host. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
Caius. Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?
Host. That is, he will make thee amends.
Caius. By gar, me do look, he shall clapper-de-
claw me; for, by gar, me vill have it.

Host. And I will provoke him to't, or let him

Rug. 'Tis past the hour, sir, that sir Hugh pro-wag. mised to meet.

Caius. Me tank you for dat.

Host. And moreover, bully,-But first, master

(6) Cant term for Spaniard.
(7) Drain of a dunghill.

Shal. We will do it.

Page, Shal. and Slen. Adieu, good master doctor. [Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender. Caius. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page.

Host. Let him die: but, first, sheath thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler: go about the fields with me through Frogmore; I will bring thee where Mrs. Anne Page is, at a farm-house a feasting; and thou shalt woo her: Cry'd game, said I well!

Caius. By gar, me tank you for dat; by gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.

Host. For the which, I will be thy adversary towards Anne Page; said I well?

Camus. By gar, 'tis good; vell said.
Host. Let us wag then.

Caius. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.

ACT III.

[Exeunt.

Eva. Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms.

Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender.

Shal. How now, master parson? Good morrow, good sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student from his book, and it is wonderful.

Slen. Ah, sweet Anne Page!

Page. Save you, good sir Hugh!

Eva. 'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you! Shal. What! the sword and the world! do you study them both, master parson?

Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatic day?

Eva. There is reasons and causes for it. Page. We are come to you, to do a good office, master parson.

Eva. Fery well: what is it?

Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who belike, having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience, that ever you saw.

Shal. I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect.

Eva. What is he?

Page. I think you know him; master doctor Caius, the renowned French physician.

Eva. Got's will, and his passion of my heart! I had as lief you would tell me of a mess of por

SCENE I.—A field near Frogmore. Enter Sir ridge.
Hugh Evans and Simple.

Era. I pray you now, good master Slender's serving-man, and friend Simple by your name, which way have you looked for master Caius, that calls himself Doctor of Physic?

Sim. Marry, sir, the city-ward, the park-ward, every way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way.

Era. I most fehemently desire you, you will also look that way.

Sim. I will, sir.

Eva. 'Pless my soul! how full of cholers I am, and trempling of mind!-I shall be glad, if he have deceived me:-how melancholies I am!-I will knog his urinals about his knave's costard,' when I have good opportunities for the 'ork :-'pless my [Sings.

soul!

To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals;
There will we make our peds of roses,
And a thousand fragrant posies.

To shallow

Page. Why?

Eva. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen,--and he is a knave besides; a cowardly knave, as you would desires to be acquainted withal. Page. I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.

Slen. O, sweet Anne Page!

Shal. It appears so, by his weapons:-Keep them asunder;-here comes doctor Caius.

Enter Host, Caius, and Rugby.

Page. Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon.

Shal. So do you, good master doctor.

Host. Disarm them, and let them question; let them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English. Caius. I pray you, let-a me speak a word vit your ear: Verefore will you not meet-a me?

Eva. Pray you, use your patience: In good time. Caius. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.

Eva. Pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to other men's humours; I desire you in friendship,

Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry. and I will one way or other make you amends:

Melodious birds sing madrigals ;—

When as I sat in Pabylon,2

And a thousand fragrant posies.

To shallow

I will knog your urinals about your knave's cogscomb, for missing your meetings and appoint

ments.

Caius. Diable !-Jack Rugby,-mine Host de Jarterre, have I not stay for him, to kill him? have

Sim. Yonder he is coming, this way, sir Hugh. I not, at de place I did appoint?

Eva. He's welcome :

To shallow rivers, to whose falls--
Heaven prosper the right!-What weapons is he?

Sim. No weapons, sir: There comes my master, master Shallow, and another gentleman from Frogmore, over the stile, this way.

(1) Head.

Eva. As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the place appointed; I'll be judgment by mine host of the Garter.

Host. Peace, I say, Guallia and Gaul, French and Welsh; soul-curer and body-curer.

Caius. Ay, dat is very good! excellent! Host. Peace, I say; hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic?" am I subtle? am I a Machia

(2) Babylon, the first line of the 137th Psalm.

H

vel? Shall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the plots!--they are laid; and our revolted wives potions, and the motions. Shall I lose my parson ? share damnation together. Well; I will take him, my priest? my sir Hugh? no; he gives me the then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of pro-verbs and the no-verbs.-Give me thy hand, modesty from the so seeming' mistress Page, diterrestrial; so-Give me thy hand, celestial; so. vulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Action; -Boys of art, I have deceived you both; I have and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours directed you to wrong places: your hearts are shall cry aim. [Clock strikes.] The clock gives mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack me my cue, and my assurance bids me search; be the issue.-Come, lay their swords to pawn:-there I shall find Falstaff: I shall be rather praised Follow me, lad of peace; ollow, follow, follow. for this, than mocked; for it is as positive as the Shal. Trust me, a mad host:-Follow, gentle-earth is firm, that Falstaff is there: I will go. men, follow.

Slen. O, sweet Anne Page!

[Exeunt Shal. Slen. Page, and Host. Caius. Ha! do I perceive dat? have you makea de sot1 of us? ha, ha!

Eva. This is well; he has made us his vloutingstog.-I desire you, that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together, to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host of the Garter.

Caius. By gar, vit all my heart; he promise to bring me vere is Anne Page: by gar, he deceive me too.

Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh
Evans, Caius, and Rugby.

Shal. Page, &c. Well met, master Ford.
Ford. Trust me, a good knot: I have good
cheer at home; and, I pray you, all go with me.
Shal. I must excuse myself, master Ford.
Slen. And so must I, sir; we have appointed
to dine with mistress Anne, and I would not break
with her for more money than I'll speak of.

Shal. We have linger'd about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day Eva. Well, I will smite his noddles:-Pray we shall have our answer. you, follow. [Exeunt. Slen. I hope, I have your good-will, father Page. Enter Page. You have, master Slender; I stand wholly for you:-but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether.

SCENE II.-The Street in Windsor.
Mrs. Page and Robin.

Mrs. Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader: Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?

Caius. Ay, by gar; and de maid is love-a me; my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.

Host. What say you to young master Fenton? The capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April and May: he will carry't, he will carry't; 'tis in I his buttons; he will carry't.

Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf. Mrs. Page. O you are a flattering boy; now, see, you'll be a courtier.

Enter Ford.

Page. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentlemen is of no having: he kept company with The wild Prince and Poins; he is of too high a region, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a Ford. Well met, mistress Page: Whither goknot in his fortunes with the finger of my subyou?

Mrs. Page. Truly, sir, to see your wife: Is she

at home?

Ford. Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company: I think, if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.

Mrs. Page. Be sure of that, -two other hus

bands.

Ford. Where had you this pretty weather-cock? Mrs. Page. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of: What do you call your knight's name, sirrah?

Rob. Sir John Falstaff.

Ford. Sir John Falstaff!

Mrs. Page. He, he: I can never hit on's name. There is such a league between my good man and he!-Is your wife at home, indeed?"

Ford. Indeed, she is.

I see her.

Mrs. Page. By your leave, sir;-I am sick, till [Exeunt Mrs. Page and Robin. Ford. Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes? hath he any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty miles, as easy as a cannon will shoot pointblank twelve score. He pieces-out his wife's inclination; he gives her folly motion, and advantage: and now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A man may hear this shower sing in the wind!--and Falstaff's boy with her!-Good

(1) Fool. (2) Flouting-stock. (3) Specious. (4) Shall encourage.

stance: if he take her, let him take her simply; the wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way.

Ford. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will show you a monster.Master doctor, you shall go ;-so shall you, master Page;-and you, sir Hugh.

Shal. Well, fare you well:-we shall have the freer wooing at master Page's.

[Exeunt Shallow and Slender. Caius. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. [Exit Rugby. Host. Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him.

[Exit Host. Ford. [Aside. I think, I shall drink in pipewine first with him; I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?

All. Have with you, to see this monster.

[Exeunt.

SCENE III-A room in Ford's house. Enter
Mrs. Ford and Mrs. Page.

Mrs. Ford. What, John! what, Robert!
Mrs. Page. Quickly, quickly: is the buck
basket-
Mrs. Ford. I warrant :-what, Robin, I say.
(6) Not rich.

(5) Out of the common style.

Enter Servants with a basket.

Mrs. Page. Come, come, come.
Mrs. Ford. Here, set it down.
Mrs. Page. Give your men the charge; we

inust be brief.

Mrs. Ford. Believe me, there's no such thing

in me.

Fal. What made me love thee? let that per'suade thee, there's something extraordinary in thee. Come, I cannot cog, and say, thou art this and that, like a many of these lisping hawthorn buds, that come like women in men's apparel, and smell ke Bucklersburys in simple-time; I cannot: but love thee; none but thee; and thou deservest it. Mrs. Ford. Do not betray me, sir; I fear, you

Mrs. Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John, and Robert, be ready here hard by in the brew house; and when I suddenly call you, come forth, basket on your shoulders: that done, trudge with love mistress Page. and (without any pause or staggering,) take this I it in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters1 in Datchet Mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch, close by the Thames' side.

Mrs. Page. You will do it?

Mrs. Ford. I have told them over and over; they lack no direction: be gone, and come when you are called. [Exeunt Servants. Mrs. Page. Here comes little Robin.

Enter Robin.

Mrs. Ford. How now, my eyas-musket? what Lews with you?

Rob. My master, sir John, is come in at your back-door, mistress Ford; and requests your com

pany.

Mrs. Page. You little Jack-a-lent,' have you

been true to us?

Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn: my master knows not of your being here; and hath threatened to put me into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it; for, he swears, he'll turn me away.

by the Counter-gate; which is as hateful to me as Fal. Thou might'st as well say, I love to walk

the reek of a lime-kiln.

Mrs. Ford. Well, heaven knows, how I love you and you shall one day find it.

Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not be in that mind.

Rob. [within.] Mistress Ford, mistress Ford! here's mistress Page at the door, sweating and blowing, and looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently.

Fal. She shall not see me; I will ensconce" me behind the arras.

Mrs. Ford. Pray you, do so; she's a very tattling woman.[Falstaff hides himself.

Enter Mistress Page and Robin.

What's the matter? how now?

Mrs. Page. O mistress Ford, what have you done? You're shamed, you are overthrown, you are undone for ever.

Mrs. Page. Thou'rt a good boy; this secrecy of
thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee
a new doublet and hose.--I'll go hide me.
Mrs. Ford. Do so:-Go tell thy master, I am
alone. Mrs. Page, remember you your cue.
[Exit Robin.
Mrs. Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it,
his de.
[Exit Mrs. Page.
Mrs. Ford. Go to then; we'll use this unwhole-
Some humidity, this gross watry pumpion;--we'll on you! how am I mistook in you!
teach him to know turtles from jays.

Mrs. Ford. What's the matter, good mistress
Page?

Mrs. Page. O well-a-day, mistress Ford! having an honest man to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion!

Enter Falstaff.

Fal. Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel? Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough; this is the period of my ambition: O this blessed hour!

Mrs. Ford. What cause of suspicion?
Mrs. Page. What cause of suspicion ?-Out up-

Mrs. Ford. Why, alas! what's the matter?
Mrs. Page. Your husband's coming hither, wo-
man, with all the officers in Windsor, to search for
a gentleman, that, he says, is here now in the
house, by your consent, to take an ill advantage of
his absence. You are undone.

Mrs. Ford. so, I hope.

Speak louder.-[Aside.]—'Tis not

Mrs. Ford. O sweet sir John! Mrs. Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, have such a man here; but 'tis most certain your Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I husband's coming, with half Windsor at his heels, would thy husband were dead: I'll speak it before to search for such a one. I come before to tell the best lord, I would make thee my lady. you: if you know yourself clear, why I am glad Mrs. Ford. I your lady, sir John! alas, I should of it: but if you have a friend here, convey, conbe a pitiful lady. vey him out. Be not amazed; call all your senses Fal. Let the court of France show me such ano-to you; defend your reputation, or bid farewell to ther; I see how thine eyes would emulate the your good life forever.

diamond: thou hast the right arched bent of the Mrs. Ford. What shall I do?-There is a genbrow, that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, tleman, my dear friend; and I fear not mine own or any tire of Venetian admittance.4 shame, so much as his peril: I had rather than a

Mrs. Ford. A plain kerchief, sir John: my thousand pound, he were out of the house. brows become nothing else; nor that well neither. Mrs. Page. For shame, never stand you had Fal. Thou art a traitor to say so: thou would'st rather, and you had rather; your husband's here make an absolute courtier; and the firm fixture of at hand, bethink you of some conveyance: in the thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait, house you cannot hide him.-O, how have you dein a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou ceived me!-Look, here is a basket; if he be of wert, if fortune thy foe were not; nature is thy any reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and friend: come, thou canst not hide it.

throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to

(4) Venetian fashions.

(5) Formerly chiefly inhabited by druggists. (6) Prison. (7) Hide. (8) Tapestry.

Ford. Buck? I would I could wash myself of Cuius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman. the buck! Buck, buck, buck? ay, buck; I war- Ford. Well;-I promised you a dinner :-Come, rant you, buck; and of the season too, it shall ap- come, walk in the park: I pray you, pardon me; pear. [Exeunt Servants with the basket.] Gentle- I will hereafter make known to you, why I have men, I have dreamed to-night; I'll tell you my done this. Come, wife ;-come, mistress Page; I dream. Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my pray you pardon me; pray heartily, pardon me. chambers, search, seek, find out: I'll warrant, we'll Page. Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, unkennel the fox:-Let me stop this way first:- we'll mock him. I do invite you to-morrow mornSo, now, uncape.4 ing to my house to breakfast; after, we'll a birdPage. Good master Ford, be contented: you ing together; I have a fine hawk for the bush: wrong yourself too much. shall it be so?