-Nimium ne crede colori. VIRG. Ecl. ii. ver. 17. Trust not too much to an enchanting face.

DRYDEN.

T has been the purpose of several of my speculations to bring people to an unconcerned behaviour, with relation to their perfons, whether beautiful or defective. As the fecrets of the Ugly Club were exposed to the publick, that men might fee there were fome noble spirits in the age, who are not at all difpleafed with themfelves upon confideration which they had no choice in; fo the difcourfe concerning Idols tended to lessen the value people put upon themselves from perfonal advantages and gifts of nature. As to the latter fpecies of mankind, the beauties, whether male or female, they are ge nerally the moft untractable people of all others. You are so exceffively perplexed with the particularities in their behaviour, that, to be at eafe, one would be apt to wish there were no fuch creatures. They expect fo great allowances, and give fo little to others, that they who have to do with them find in the main, a man with a better person than ordinary, and a beautiful woman, might be very happily changed for fuch to whom nature has been lefs liberal. The handfome fellow is ufually fo much a gentleman, and the fine woman has fomething fo becoming, that there is no enduring either of them. It has therefore been generally my choice to mix with chearful ugly creatures, rather than gentlemen who are graceful enough to omit or do what they pleafe; or beauties who have charms enough to do and fay what would be difobliging in any but themfelves.

Diffidence

Diffidence and prefumption, upon account of our perfons are equally faults; and both arife from the want of knowing, or rather endeavouring to know, ourselves, and for what we ought to be valued or neglected. But indeed, I did not imagine thefe little confiderations and conquetries could have the ill confequence as I find they have by the following letters of my correfpondents, where it seems beauty is thrown into the account, in matters of fale, to those who receive no favour from the charmers.

1

Mr SPECTATOR, June 4. 'AFTER I have affured you I am in every refpect one of the handfomeft young girls about town, I need be particular in nothing but the make of · my face, which has the misfortune to be exactly oval. This I take to proceed from a temper that 'naturally inclines me both to speak and hear.

'With this account you may wonder how I can have the vanity to offer myfelf as a candidate, ' which I now do, to a fociety, where the SPEC. TATOR and Hecatiffa have been admitted with fo 'much applaufe. I do not want to be put in mind 'how very defective I am in every thing that is ug ly: I am too fenfible of my own unworthiness inthis particular, and therefore I only propofe my. felf as a foil to the club.

You fee how honeft I have been to confefs all my imperfections, which is a great deal to come from a woman, and what I hope you will encourage with the favour of your interest.

There can be no objection made on the fide of 'the matchless Hecatiffa, fince it is certain I fhall be in no danger of giving her the least occasion of jealoufy: And then a joint ftool in the very loweft place at the table, is all the honour that is co• veted by Your moft humble

and obedient fervant,›

'P. S. I have facrificed my necklace to put into the publick lottery against the common enemy. • And last Saturday, about three o'clock in the af'ternoon, I began to patch indifferently on both 'fides of my face."

• Mr SPECTATOR, London, June 7, 1711. 'UPON reading your late differtation concerning Idols, I cannot but complain to you that there are, in fix or seven places of this city, coffeehouses kept by perfons of that fifterhood. Thefe Idols fit and receive all day long the adoration of 'the youth within such and such districts: I know in particular, goods are not entered as they ought to be at the custom-house, nor law-reports perufed at the Temple; by reafon of one beauty who 'detains the young merchants too long near 'Change, and another fair one who keeps the ftuIdents at her house when they fhould be at ftudy. It would be worth your while to see how the Idolaters alternately offer incenfe to their Idols, and what heart-burnings arife in those who wait for their turn to receive kind aspects from those little thrones, which all the company, but these lovers, call the Bars. I faw a gentleman turn as pale as ashes, because an Idol turned the fugar in a tea-dish for his rival, and carelessly called the boy to fervé him, with a Sirrah! Why don't you give the gentleman the box to pleafe himfelf? Certain it is, that at very hopeful young man was taken with leads in 'his pockets below bridge, where he intended to 'drown himself, becaufe his Idol would wash the ' dish in which the had but juft drank tea, before 'fhe would let him ufe it.

I am, Sir, a perfon paft being amorous, and do not give this information out of envy or jealousy, • but I ain a real fufferer by it. Thefe lovers takė any thing for tea and coffee: I faw one yefterday furfeit to make his court; and all his rivals, at.

the

'the fame time, loud in the commendation of li" quors that went against every body in the roomt 'that was not in love. While these While these young fellows refign their ftomachs with their hearts, and drink at the Idol in this manner, we who come to do bufinefs, or talk politicks, are utterly poifoned: They have alfo drams for those who are more e'namoured than ordinary; and it is very common 'for fuch as are too low in conftitution to ogle the Idol upon the strength of tea, to flufter themselves 'with warmer liquors: Thus all pretenders advance, as fast as they can, to a fever or a dia'betes. I must repeat to you, that I do not look ? with an evil eye upon the profit of the Idols, or 'the diverfions of the lovers. What I hope from this remonstrance, is only that we plain people may not be served as if we were idolaters; but that from the time of publishing this in your paper, 'the Idols would mix ratsbane only for their admirers, and take more care of us who don't love them. I am,

R

‹ Sir, yours,

T. T.

No. 88.

MONDAY, JUNE 11.

Quid domini facient, audent cum talia fures?

VIRG. Ecl. iii. ver. 16.

What will not mafters do, when fervants thus

I

prefume?

Mr SPECTATOR,

May 30, 1711.

HAVE no small value for your endeavours to lay before the world what may efcape their ob. 'fervation, and yet highly conduces to their fer'vice. You have, I think, fucceeded very well on many fubjects; and feem to have been converfant

C 3

• in

in very different fcenes of life. But in the confi. 'derations of mankind, as a SPECTATOR, you 'fhould not omit circumftances which relate to the 'inferior part of the world, any more than those which concern the greater. There is one thing ' in particular which I wonder you have not touch'ed upon, and that is the general corruption of manners in the fervants of Great Britain. I am 6 a man that have travelled and feen many nations, 'but have for seven years last past refided constant" ly in London, or within twenty miles of it: In this ' time I have contracted a numerous acquaintance among the best sort of people, and have hardly 'found one of them happy in their fervants. This ' is matter of great astonishment to foreigners, and ⚫ all fuch as have vifited foreign countries; efpecially fince we cannot but obferve, that there is no part of the world where fervants have those 'privileges and advantages as in England: They have no where else such plentiful diet, large wages, or indulgent liberty: There is no place wherein they labour lefs, and yet where they are fo little respectful, more wafteful, more negligent, ' or where they fo frequently change their masters. To this I attribute, in a great measure, the frequent robberies and loffes which we fuffer on the < high road and in our houses. That indeed which

gives me the prefent thought of this kind is, that < a careless groom of mine has fpoiled me the prettieft pad in the world with only riding him ten miles, and I affure you, if I were to make a regifter of all the horses I have known thus abused by negligence of fervants, the number would mount a regiment, I with you would give us your obfervations, that we may know how to treat these rogues, or that we masters may enter into measures to reform them. Pray give us a fpeculation in ⚫ general about fervants, and you make me,

<

Yours, PHILO-BRITANNICUS,