No. 431, which I stuck to almost a Twelve-month, and had in that Tuesday, Time peeled and devoured half a Foot toward our NeighJuly 15, bour's Yard. I now thought my self the happiest Creature 1712, in the World, and, I believe in my Conscience, I had eaten quite through, had I had it in my Chamber; but now I became lazy, and unwilling to stir, and was obliged to seek Food nearer Home. I then took a strange Hanker ing to Coals; I fell to scranching 'em, and had already consumed, I am certain, as much as would have dressed my Wedding-Dinner, when my Uncle came for me Home, He was in the Parlour with my Governess when I was called down. I went in, fell on my Knees, for he made me call him Father; and when I expected the Blessing I asked, the good Gentleman, in a Surprize, turns himself to my Governess, and asks, Whether this (point ing to me) was his Daughter? This (added he) is the very Picture of Death. My Child was a plump-fac'd, hale, fresh-coloured Girl; but this looks as if she were halfstarved, a meer Skeleton. My Governess, who is really a good Woman, assured my Father I had wanted for nothing; and withal told him I was continually eating some Trash or other, and that I was almost eaten up with the Green-sickness, her Orders being never to cross me, But this magnified but little with my Father, who presently, in a kind of Pett, paying for my Board, took me Home with him, I had not been long at home, but one Sunday at Church (I shall never forget it) I saw a young neigh bouring Gentleman that pleased me hugely; I liked him of all Men I ever saw in my Life; and began to wish I could be as pleasing to him. The very next Day he came, with his Father, a visiting to our House: We were left alone together, with Directions on both Sides to be in Love with one another, and in three Weeks Time we were married, I regained my former Health and Complexion, and am now as happy as the Day is long. Now, Mr. SPEC, I desire you would find out some Name for these craving Damsels, whether dignified or distinguished under some or all of the following Denominations, (to wit) Trash-eaters, Oatmeal-chewers, Pipe-champers, Chalk lickers, Wax niblers, Coal-Scranchers, Wall-peelers, or Gravel Diggers: And, good Sir, do your utmost En deavour deavour to prevent (by exposing) this unaccountable No. 431, Folly, so prevailing among the young ones of our Sex, Tuesday, who may not meet with such sudden good Luck as, Sir, Your constant Reader, July 15, 1712, A 'Mr. SPECTATOR, CCORDING to a late Invitation in one of your Papers to every Man who pleases to write, I have sent you the following short Dissertation against the Vice of being prejudiced, Your most Humble Servant. "Man is a sociable Creature, and a Lover of Glory; whence it is, that when several Persons are united in the same Society, they are studious to lessen the Reputation of others, in order to raise their own. The Wise are content to guide the Springs in Silence, and rejoice in Secret at their regular Progress: To prate and triumph is the Part allotted to the Trifling and Superficial: The Geese were providentially ordained to save the Capitol. Hence it is, that the Invention of Marks and Devices to distinguish Parties, is owing to the Beaux and Belles of this Island. Hats moulded into different Cocks and Pinches, have long bid mutual Defiance; Patches have been set against Patches in Battel-Array; Stocks have risen or fallen in Proportion to Head-Dresses; and Peace or War been expected, as the White or the Red Hood hath prevailed. These are the Standard Bearers in our contending Armies, the Dwarfs and Squires who carry the Impresses of the Giants or Knights, not born to fight themselves, but to prepare the Way for the ensuing Combat, It is Matter of Wonder to reflect how far Men of weak Understanding and strong Fancy are hurried by their Prejudices, even to the believing that the whole Body of the July 16, 1712. No. 432. the adverse Party are a Band of Villains and Daemons, Wednes Foreigners complain, that the English are the proudest day, Nation under Heaven. Perhaps they too have their Share; but be that as it will, general Charges against Bodies of Men is the Fault I am writing against. It must be own'd, to our Shame, that our common People, and most who have not travelled, have an irrational Contempt for the Language, Dress, Customs, and even the Shape and Minds of other Nations. Some Men, otherwise of Sense, have wondered that a great Genius should spring out of Ireland; and think you mad in affirming, that fine Odes have been written in Lapland. This Spirit of Rivalship, which heretofore reigned in the two Universities, is extinct, and almost over betwixt College and College: In Parishes and Schools the Thrift of Glory still obtains. At the Seasons of Football and Cockfighting, these little Republicks reassume their National Hatred to each other. My Tenant in the Country is verily perswaded, that the Parish of the Enemy hath not one honest Man in it. I always hated Satyrs against Woman, and Satyrs against Man; I am apt to suspect a Stranger who laughs at the Religion of The Faculty: My Spleen rises at a dull Rogue, who is severe upon Mayors and Aldermen; and was never better pleased than with a Piece of Justice executed upon the Body of a Templer, who was very arch upon Parsons, The Necessities of Mankind require various Employ ments; and whoever excells in his Province is worthy of Praise. All Men are not educated after the same Manner, nor have all the same Talents. Those who are deficient deserve our Compassion, and have a Title to our Assist ance. All cannot be bred in the same Place; but in all Places there arise, at different times, such Persons as do Honour to their Society, which may raise Envy in little Souls, but are admired and cherished by generous Spirits. It is certainly a great Happiness to be educated in Societies of great and eminent Men. Their Instructions and Examples are of extraordinary Advantage, It is highly proper to instil such a Reverence of the govern ing Persons, and Concern for the Honour of the Place, July 16, as may spur the growing Members to worthy Pursuits No. 432. and honest Emulation: but to swell young Minds with Wednes day, vain Thoughts of the Dignity of their own Brotherhood, by debasing and villifying all others, doth them a real 1712. Injury. By this means I have found that their Efforts have become languid, and their Prattle irksome, as think ing it sufficient Praise that they are Children of so illustrious and ample a Family. I should think it a surer, as well as more generous Method, to set before the Eyes of Youth such Persons as have made a noble Progress in Fraternities less talk'd of; which seems tacitly to reproach their Sloth, who loll so heavily in the Seats of mighty Improvement: Active Spirits hereby would enlarge their Notions, whereas by a servile Imitation of one, or perhaps two, admired Men in their own Body, they can only gain a secondary and derivative kind of Fame. These Copiers of Men, like those of Authors or Painters, run into Affectations of some Oddness, which perhaps was not disagreeable in the Original, but sits ungracefully on the narrow-soul'd Transcriber, By such early Corrections of Vanity, while Boys are growing into Men, they will gradually learn not to cen sure superficially; but imbibe those Principles of general Kindness and Humanity, which alone can make them easie to themselves, and beloved by others, Reflections of this Nature have expunged all Prejudices. out of my Heart, insomuch that tho' I am a firm Protes tant, I hope to see the Pope and Cardinals without violent Emotions; and tho' I am naturally grave, I expect to meet good Company at París. 'Mr. SPECTATOR, I am, Sir, Your Obedient Servant."" I find you are a general Undertaker, and have by your Correspondents or self an Insight into most things; which makes me apply myself to you at present in the sorest Calamity that ever befel Man. My Wife has taken some thing ill of me, and has not spoke one Word, good or bad, to me, or any Body in the Family, since Friday was Sevennight No. 432. Sevennight. What must a Man do in that Case? Your Wednes Advice would be a great Obligation to, day, Sir. July 16, 1712. Your most Humble Servant, Ralph Thimbleton.' 'Mr. SPECTATOR, When you want a Trifle to fill up a Paper, in inserting this you will lay an Obligation_on, Your Humble Servant, July 15th, "Dear Olivia, OLIVIA, It is but this Moment I have had the Happiness of knowing to whom I am obliged for the Present I received the second of April. I am heartily sorry it did not come to Hand the Day before; for I can't but think it very hard upon People to lose their Jest, that offer at one but once a Year. I congratulate my self however upon the Earnest given me of something further intended in my Favour; for I am told, that the Man who is thought worthy by a Lady to make a Fool of, stands fair enough in her Opinion to become one Day her Husband. 'Till such time as I have the Honour of being sworn, I take Leave to subscribe my self, T Dear Olivia, Your Fool Elect, Nicodemuncio," ' No. 433. Thursday, July 17. ΤΗ Perlege Maeonio cantatas carmíne ranas, Et frontem nugis solvere disce meis.-Mart, HE Moral World, as consisting of Males and Females, is of a mixt Nature, and filled with several Customs, Fashions and Ceremonies, which would have no place in it, were there but One Sex. Had our Species no Females in it, Men would be quite different Creatures from what they are at present; their Endeavours to ! |