as admirable in its effects as the famous cosmetic ' mentioned in the Postman, and invented by the re"nowned British Hippocrates of the pestle and mor'tar: making the party, after a due course, rosy, hale, and airy; and the best and most approved receipt now extant for the fever of the spirits. But to return to our female candidate, who, I understand, is returned to herself, and will no longer hang out 'false colours; as she is the first of her sex that has • done us so great an honor, she will certainly, in a 6 very short time, both in prose and verse, be a lady "of the most celebrated deformity now living; and 'meet with admirers here as frightful as herself; but being a long-headed gentlewoman, I am apt to imagine she has some further design than you have yet penetrated; and perhaps has more mind to the Spec'tator than any of his fraternity, as the person of all the world she could like for a paramour: and if so, really I cannot but applaud her choice; and should be glad, if it might lie in my power, to effect an • amicable accommodation betwixt two faces of such different extremes, as the only possible expedient to mend the breed, and rectify the physiognomy of the "family on both sides. And again, as she is a lady of 6 a very fluent elocution, you need not fear that your • first child will be born dumb, which otherwise you ♦ might have some reason to be apprehensive of. To * be plain with you, I can see nothing shocking in it; for though she has not a face like a John Apple, " yet as a late friend of mine, who at sixty-five ventured on a lass of fifteen, very frequently, in the re• maining five years of his life, gave me to understand, that as old as he then seemed, when they were first 'married, he and his spouse could make but fourscore; so may Madam Hecatissa very justly alledge hereafter, that as long visaged as she may then be thought,

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upon their wedding-day Mr. Spectator and she had but half an ell of face betwixt them; and this my very worthy predecessor, Mr. Serjeant Chin, always main'tained to be no more than the true oval proportion 'between man and wife. But as this may be a new " thing to you, who have hitherto had no expectations from women, I shall allow you what time you think 'fit to consider on it; not without some hope of seeing ' at last your thoughts hereupon subjoined to mine, * and which is an honor much desired by, Sir, 'Your assured friend,

• And most humble servant,

'HUGH GOBLIN, Preses."

The following letter has not much in it; but as it is written in my own praise, I cannot from my heart suppress it.

SIR,

You proposed, in your Spectator of last Tuesday, Mr. Hobbes's hypothesis for solving that very old ' phenomenon of laughter. You have made the hypothesis valuable by espousing it yourself; for had it continued Mr. Hobbes's, nobody would have • minded it. Now here this perplexed case arises. A certain company laughed very heartily upon the reading of that very paper of yours: and the truth on it is, he must be a man of more than ordinary 'constancy that could stand it out against so much comedy, and not do as we did. Now there are few * men in the world so far lost to all good sense, as to * look upon you to be a man in a state of folly inferior • to himself. Pray then how do you justify your hy'pothesis of laughter?

Thursday, the 26th of the month of Fools.

• Your most humble,

' Q. R.'

SIR,

In answer to your letter, I must desire you to recollect yourself; and you will find, that when you did me the honor to be so merry over my paper, you 'laughed at the idiot, the German courtier, the gaper, the merry-andrew, the haberdasher, the biter, the ⚫ butt, and not at

My

Y correspondents grow so numerous, that I cannot avoid frequently inserting their applications

to me.

'MR. SPECTATOR,

that your

endeavours

'I am glad I can inform you, 'to adorn that sex, which is the fairest part of the vi'sible creation, are well received, and like to prove 'not unsuccessful. The triumph of Daphne over 'her sister Lætitia, has been the subject of conversa❝tion at several tea-tables where I have been present : ❝ and I have observed the fair circle not a little pleased 'to find you considering them as reasonable creatures, ' and endeavouring to banish that Mahometan custom ' which had too much prevailed even in this island, of

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'treating women as if they had no souls. I must do them the justice to say, that there seems to be nothing wanting to the finishing of these lovely pieces ' of human nature, besides the turning and applying ' their ambition properly, and the keeping them up to a sense of what is their true merit. Epictetus, that plain honest philosopher, as little as he had of gallantry, appears to have understood them as well as 'the polite St. Evremond, and has hit this point very 'luckily. "When young women (says he) arrive at "a certain age, they hear themselves called Mistresses, " and are made to believe that their only business is to "please the men; they immediately begin to dress, "and place all their hopes in the adorning of their "persons; it is therefore (continues he) worth the "while to endeavour by all means to make them sen"sible, that the honor paid to them is only upon ac"count of their conducting themselves with virtue, "modesty, and discretion."

Now to pursue the matter yet further, and to ren• der your cares for the improvement of the fair ones more effectual, I would propose a new method, like 'those applications which are said to convey their 'virtue by sympathy; and that is, that in order to ' embellish the mistress, you should give a new ' education to the lover, and teach the men not to be 'any longer dazzled by false charms and unreal beauty. 'I cannot but think that if our sex knew always how 'to place their esteem justly, the other would not be เ so often wanting to themselves in deserving it. For as the being enamoured with a woman of sense and virtue is an improvement to a man's understanding ' and morals, and the passion is ennobled by the object 'which inspires it; so on the other side, the appear'ing amiable to a man of a wise and elegant mind, 'carries in itself no small degree of merit and ac

'complishment. I conclude, therefore, that one way to make the women yet more agreeable is, to make 'the men more virtuous. I am, Sir,

Your most humble servant,

6 SIR,

R. B.'

April 26.

'Yours of Saturday last I read, not without some resentment; but I will suppose when you say you < expect an inundation of ribbands and brocades, and 'to see many new vanities which the women will fall ' into upon a peace with France, that you intend only 'the unthinking part of our sex; and what methods 'can reduce them to reason, is hard to imagine.

But, Sir, there are others yet that your instruc'tions might be of great use to, who, after their best ' endeavours, are sometimes at a loss to acquit them'selves to a censorious world. I am far from think'ing you can altogether disapprove of conversation between ladies and gentlemen, regulated by the ' rules of honor and prudence; and have thought it an 'observation not ill made, that where that was wholly " denied, the women lost their wit, and the men their ' good manners. It is sure, from those improper li'berties you mentioned, that a sort of undistinguishing people shall banish from their drawing-rooms 'the best bred men in the world, and condemn those 'that do not. Your stating this point might, I think, 'be of good use, as well as much oblige, Sir,

'Your admirer, and

'Most humble servant,

'ANNA BELLA."

No answer to this, till Anna Bella sends a description of those she calls the best bred men in the world.