Fal. Now, mafter Brook? you come to know what hath pass'd between me and Ford's wife?

Ford. That, indeed, fir John, is my business.

Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her house the hour she appointed me,

Ford. And you fped, fir?

Fal. Very ill-favour'dly, mafter Brook.

Ford. How, fir? Did the change her determination? Fal. No, mafter Brook: but the peaking cornuto her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual 'larum of jealoufy, comes me in the instant of our encounter, after we had embrac'd, kifs'd, protefted, and, as it were, fpoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provok'd and inftigated by his diftemper, and, forfooth, to search his houfe for his wife's love.

Ford. What, while you were there?

Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find

you?

Fal. You fhall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one mistress Page; gives intelligence of Ford's approach; and, by her invention, and Ford's wife's dif traction, they convey'd me into a buck-basket.

Ford. A buck-basket!

Ful. Yea, a buck-basket: ramm'd me in with foul fhirts and fmocks, focks, foul ftockings, and greafy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rankeft compound of villanous smell that ever offended nostril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you fhall hear, mafter Brook, what I have fuffer'd to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by their miftrefs, to carry me in the name of foul clothes to Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders: met the jealous knave their inafter in the door; who afk'd them once or twice what they had in their bafket: I quak'd for fear, left the lunatic knave would have fearch'd it; but fate, ordaining he fhould be cuckold, held his hand. Well; on went he for a search,

and

and away went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, master Brook: I fuffer'd the pangs of three several deaths: first, an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten bell-weather: next, to be compass'd, like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head and then, to be stopp'd in, like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fretted in their own grease : think of that, a man of my kidney-think of that; that am as fubject to heat as butter; a man of continual diffolution and thaw; it was a miracle to 'scape fuffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half-stew'd in greefe, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cool'd, glowing hot, in that furge, like a horse-fhoe; think of that-hiffing hot-think of that, mafter Brook.

Ford. In good fadnefs, fir, I am forry that for my fake you have fuffer'd all this. My fuit is then desperate; you'll undertake her no more?

Fal. Mafter Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding: I have receiv'd from her another embally of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, master Brook.

Ford. 'Tis paft eight already, fir.

Fal. Is it? I will then addrefs me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leifure, and you fhall know how I fpeed; and the conclufion fhall be crown'd with your enjoying her: Adieu. You fhall have her, master Brook; master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford.

[Exit. Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vifion? is this a dream? do I fleep? master Ford, awake; awake, mafter Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, master Ford. This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen, and buck-baskets!-Well, I will proclaim myfelf what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my house, he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impoffible he fhould; he cannot creep into a half-penny purfe, nor into a pepper-box: but, left the devil that guides him fhould aid him, I will fearch impoffible places. Though

Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, shall not make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be horn-mad. [Exit.

ACT IV.

SCENE I. PAGE's House.

Enter Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. QUICKLY, and WILLIAM. Mrs. Page.

Is he at master Ford's already, think'st thou?

Quic. Sure, he is by this; or will be prefently; but truly, he is very courageous mad, about his throwing into the water. Miftrefs Ford defires you to come fuddenly.

Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young man here to school: Look, where his master comes: 'tis a playing-day, I fee.

Enter Sir HUGH EVANS.

How now, fir Hugh? no fchool to-day?

Eva. No; mafter Slender is let the boys leave to play. Quic. Bleffing of his heart!

Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband fays, my fon profits nothing in the world at his book; I pray you, ask him fome questions in his accidence.

Eva. Come hither, William ;-hold up your head;

come.

Mrs. Page. Come on, firrah; hold up your head; anfwer your master, be not afraid.

Eva. William, how many numbers is in nouns?
Will. Two.

Quic. Truly I thought there had been one number more; because they fay, od's nouns.

Eva. Peace your tatlings. What is fair, William?
Will. Pulcher.

Quic. Poulcats! there are fairer things than poulcats, fure.

Eva. You are a very fimplicity 'oman; I pray you, peace. What is Lapis, William?

Will. A ftone.

Eva. And what is a ftone, William ?

Will. A pebble.

Eva, No, it is Lapis; I pray you, remember in your prain.

Will. Lapis.

Eva. That is a good William: What is he, William, that does lend articles?

Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun; and be thus declin'd, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, hæc, hoc.

Eva. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog;-pray you, mark ; genitivo, hujus: Well, what is your accufative cafe? Will. Accufative, hinc.

Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; A.cufativo, hung, hang, hog.

Quic. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.
Eva. Leave your prabbles, 'oman.

tive cafe, William ?

Will. O-vscativo, O.

What is the foca

Eva. Remember, William, focative is, caret.

'Quic. And that's a good root.

Eva. 'Oman, forbear.

Mrs. Page, Peace.

Eva. What is your genitive cafe plural, William?
Will. Genitive cafe?

Eva. Ay.

Will. Genitive, horum, harum, horum.

Quic. 'Vengeance of Giney's cafe! fie on her !-never name her, child, if the be a whore.

Eva. For fhame, 'oman.

Quic. You do ill to teach the child fuch words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do faft enough of themselves; and to call horum :-fie upon you!

Eva. 'Oman art thou lunatics? haft thou no underftanding for thy cafes, and the numbers of the genders? thou art a foolish Christian creatures, as I would defires. Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace,

Eva.

Eva, Shew me now, William, fome declenfions of

your pronouns.

Will. Forfooth, I have forgot,

Eva. It is ki, ka, cod; if you forget your kies, your kas, and your cods, you must be preeches. Go your ways and play, go.

Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I thought he

was.

Eva. He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, mistress Page.

Mrs. Page. Adieu, good fir Hugh. Get you home, boy.-Come, we stay too long.

SCENE II. FORD's Houfe.

Enter FALSTAFF, and Mrs. FORD.

[Exeunt.

Fal. Miftrefs Ford, your forrow hath eaten up my fufferance: I fee you are obfequious in your love, and I profefs requital to a hair's breadth; not only, mistress Ford, in the fimple office of love, but in all the accoutrement, complement, and ceremony of it. But are you fure of your husband now?

Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, sweet fir John.

Mrs. Page. [Within.] What hoa, goflip Ford! what hoa!

Mrs, Ford. Step into the chamber, fir John.

Enter Mrs. PAGE.

[Exit FALSTAFF.

Mrs. Page. How now, fweatheart? who's at home

befides yourself?

Mrs. Ford. Why, none but mine own people,

Mrs. Page. Indeed?

Mrs. Ford. No, certainly-Speak louder.

[Afide.

Mrs. Page. Truly, I am fo glad you have nobody

here.

Mrs. Ford. Why?

Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again; he fo takes on yonder with my husband;

fo