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Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my men, what they
shall do with the basket. Go up, I'll bring liner.
Exit.
for him straight.
Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we
cannot misuse him enough.

We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do,
Wives may be merry, and yet honest too:
We do not act, that often jest and laugh;
'Tis old but true, Still swine eat all the draff.
[Exit.

Re-enter Mrs. Ford, with two servants.
Mrs. Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again on
your shoulders; your master is hard at door: if he
bid you set it down, obey him: quickly, despatch.
[Exit.
1 Serv. Come, come, take it up.

2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight again.

Mrs. Page. Alas, three of master Ford's bro-. thers watch the door with pistols, that none should lead. issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here?

Fal. What shall I do?-I'll creep up into the chimney.

Mrs. Ford. There they always use to discharge their birding-pieces: creep into the kiln-hole. Fal. Where is it?

Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much

Enter Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius, and Sir Hugh
Evans.

Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, master Page, have you any way then to unfool me again ?-Set down the basket, villain :-Somebody call my wife:--You, youth in a basket, come out here! Mrs. Ford. He will seek there on my word. Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but, you panderly rascals! there's a knot, a ging, he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such a pack, a conspiracy against me: now shall the devil be shamed. What! wife, say! come, places, and goes to them by his note: there is no come forth; behold what honest clothes you send hiding you in the house. forth to bleaching.

Fal. I'll go out then.

Page. Why, this passes; Master Ford, you dis-are not to go loose any longer; you must be pinioned. Eva. Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad

Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, sir John. Unless you go out guised,

Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him? Mrs. Page. Alas the day, I know not. There is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape.

Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extremity, rather than a mischief.

Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a gown above.

Mrs. Page. On my word, it will serve him she's as big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffler too: run up, sir John.

Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet sir John; mistress Page and I will look some linen for your head. Mrs. Page. Quick, quick; we'll come dress you straight: put on the gown the while.

[Exit Fal.

Mrs. Ford. I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears, she's a witch; forbade her my house, and hath threatened to beat her.

Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudge!; and the devil" guide his cudgel afterwards!

Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming? Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness, is he; talks of the basket too, howsoever he hath had telligence.

and

in

Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did last time.

Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him like the witch of Brentford.

(1) Short note of, (2) Seriousness,

dog!

Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well; indeed.

Enter Mrs. Ford.

Ford. So say I too, Sir.-Come hither, mistress Ford; mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath the jealous fool to her husband!-I suspect without cause, mistress, do I?

Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my witness, you do, if
you suspect me in any dishonesty.
Ford. Well said, brazen-face; hold it out.
Come forth, sirrah.

[Pulls the clothes out of the basket. Page. This passes!

Mrs. Ford. Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone.

Ford. I shall find you anon.

Eva. 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your wife's clothes? Come away.

Ford. Empty the basket, I say.
Mrs. Ford. Why, man, why,-

Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed out of my house yesterday in this basket: Why may not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable: Pluck me out all the

linen.

Mrs. Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death.

Page, Here's no man.

(3) Gang. (4) Surpasses, to go beyond bounds.

MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR.

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Shal. By my fidelity, this is not well, master licly shamed: and, methinks, there would be no Ford; this wrongs you. Eva. Master Ford, you must pray, and not shamed. follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is period to the jest, should he not be publicly jealousies.

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Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it then, SCENE III-A room in the Garter Inn. Enter shape it: I would not have things cool. [Exeunt. Host and Bardolph.

Page. No, nor no where else, but in your brain. Ford. Help to search my house this one time: if I find not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table-sport: let Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of them say of me, As jealous as Ford, that search'd your horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at a hollow walnut for his wife's leman. Satisfy me court, and they are going to meet him. once more; once more search with me. Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! come cretly? I hear not of him in the court: Let me you, and the old woman down; my husband will speak with the gentlemen; they speak English? Host. What duke should that be, comes so se come into the chamber. Ford. Old woman! What old woman's that? Mrs. Ford. Why, it's my maid's aunt of Brent-them pay, I'll sauce them: they have had my house Bard. Ay, sir; I'll call them to you. ford. Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! guests: they must come off; I'll sauce them: Come. Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of a week at command; I have turned away my other errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery as this is; beyond our element: we know nothing.Come down, you witch, you hag you; come down, I say. Mrs. Ford. Nay, good sweet husband;-good as ever I did look upon. gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman.

Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed, and
hung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious service,
Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the
warrant of womanhood, and the witness of a good
conscience, pursue him with any further revenge?
Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,
scared out of him; if the devil have him not in fee-Doth all the winter time, at still midnight,
simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns;
think, in the way of waste, attempt us again. And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle;

And let us two devise to bring him thither.
Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him when
Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Herne
he comes,,
the hunter,

Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a
have served him?

still be the ministers.

(4) Cry out. (5) Strikes.

(6) Old age.

Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak; But what of this?

Mrs. Ford.

Marry, this is our device; That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us, Disguis'd like Herne, with huge horns on his head. Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come, And in this shape: When you have brought him

thither,

What shall be done with him? what is your plot?
Mrs. Page. That likewise have we thought
on, and thus:

quick, snap.

Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak with sir John Falstaff from master Slender.

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginians unto thee: Knock, I say.

Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up-up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as to stay, sir, till she come down: I come to speak with her, indeed.

Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,
And three or four more of their growth, we'll dress
Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and white,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once
With some diffused2 song; upon their sight,
We two in great amazedness will fly:
Then let them all encircle him about,
And, fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight;
And ask him, why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread,
In shape profane.

Mrs. Ford.

And till he tell the truth,

Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound,3
And burn him with their tapers.

Mrs. Page.

The truth being known,
We'll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windsor.
Ford.

The children must
Be practised wel to this, or they'll ne'er do't.
Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours;
and I will be like a jack-an-napes also, to burn the
knight with my taber.

Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards.

Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,

Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page. That silk will I go buy ;-and in that time Shall master Slender steal my Nan away, [Aside. And marry her at Eton.-Go, send to Falstaff

straight.

Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of Brook: He'll tell me all his purpose: sure he'll come.

Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully sir John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Fal. [Above.] How now, mine host?

Host. Here's a Bohemian Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her descend: my chambers are honourable: Fie! privacy? fie!

Enter Falstaff.

Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone.

Sim. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford?

Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; What would you with her?

Sim. My master, sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go through the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no.

Fal. I spake with the old woman about it.
Sim. And what says she, I pray, sir?

Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened him of it.

Sim. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Host. Ay, come; quick.

Sim. I may not conceal them, sir.
Fal. Conceal them, or thou diest.

Sim. Why, sir, they were nothing but about

Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us pro-mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my mas

perties,

And tricking for our fairies.

Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures,

and fery honest knaveries.

[Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans.
Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford,
Send quickly to sir John, to know his mind.
[Exit Mrs. Ford.

I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will,
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;
And he my husband best of all affects:
The doctor is well money'd, and his friends
Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have her,
Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave
her.

[Exit.

SCENE V.-A room in the Garter Inn. Enter
Host and Simple.

Host. What would'st thou have, boor? what,

(1) Elfs, hobgoblins. (2) Wild, discordant.
Soundly. (4) Necessaries (5) Cannibal,

ter's fortune to have her, or no.

Fal. "Tis, 'tis his fortune.

Sim. What, sir?

Fal. To have her, or no: Go; say, the woman told me so.

Sim. May I be so bold to say so, sir?
Fal. Ay, sir Tike; who more bold?

Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my
master glad with these tidings. [Exit Simple.
Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, sir
John: Was there a wise woman with thee?

Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

Enter Bardolph.

Bard. Out, alas, sir! cozenage! meer cozenage! Host. Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto.

Bard. Run away with the cozeners; for so soon

(6) Cunning woman, a fortune-teller.
Scholar-like,

1

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Enter Fenton and Host.

as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from SCENE VI.-Another Room in the Garter Inn.
behind one of them, in a slagh of mire; and set
spurs, and away, like three German devils, three
Doctor Faustuses.

Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, vil-is
lain: do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest

men.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans.

Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind heavy, I will give over all.

Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my

purpose,

And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee
A hundred pounds in gold, more than your loss.
Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I
will, at the least, keep your counsel.

Eva. Where is mine host? Host. What is the matter, sir? Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there Who, mutually, hath answered my affection is three cousin Germans, that has cozened all the (So far forth as herself might be her chooser,) hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, Even to my wish: I have a letter from her of horses and money. I tell you for a good-will, Of such contents as you will wonder at; look you: you are wise, and full of gibes and The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, vlouting-stogs; and 'tis not convenient you should That neither, singly, can be manifested, be cozened: Fare you well. [Exit. Without the show of both; wherein fat Falstaff Hath a great scene; the image of the jest [Showing the letter. I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host: To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one,

Enter Doctor Caius.

Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre?
Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and
doubtful dilemma.

Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen; Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell-a The purpose why, is here; in which disguise, me, dat you make grand preparation for a duke de While other jests are something rank on foot, Jarmany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat de Her father hath commanded her to slip court is know to come; I tell you for good vill: Away with Slender, and with him at Eton adieu. [Exit. Immediately to marry: she hath consented: Host. Hue and cry, villain, go:-assist me, Now, sir, knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, vil- Her mother, even strong against that match, lain! I'am undone! [Exeunt Host and Bardolph. And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed Fal. I would, all the world might be cozened; That he shall likewise shuffle her away, for I have been cozen'd and beaten too. If it should While other sports are tasking of their minds, come to the ear of the court, how I have been And at the deanery, where a priest attends, transformed, and how my transformation hath been Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot washed and cudgelled, they would melt me out of She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath

my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots Made promise to the doctor;-Now, thus it rests. with me; I warrant, they would whip me with Her father means she shall be all in white; their fine wits, till I were as crest-fallen as a dried And in that habit, when Slender sees his time pear. I never prospered since I forswore myself To take her by the hand, and bid her go, at Primero.1 'Well, if my wind were but long She shall go with him :-her mother hath intended, enough to say my prayers, I would repent.

Enter Mrs. Quickly.

Now! whence come you?

Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have suffered more for their sakes, more, than the villanous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.

The better to denote her to the doctor,
(For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,)
That, quaint in green, she shall be loose enrob'd,
With ribbands pendant, flaring 'bout her head;
And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,
To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,
The maid hath given consent to go with him.

Host. Which means she to deceive? father or
mother?

Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with me:
And here it rests,-that you'll procure the vicar
And, in the lawful name of marrying,
To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one,
To give our hearts united ceremony.

vicar;

Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her. Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue?-1 Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to the was beaten myself into all the colours of the rain-Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. bow, and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexFent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee; terity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old Besides, I'll make a present recompense. [Exeunt. woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch. Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will

ACT V.

Falstaff and Mrs. Quickly.

say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to SCENE I-A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed. Fal. Come up into my chamber. [Exeunt. (1) A game at cards,

Fal. Pry'thee, no more prattling;-go.———I'll

(2) In the letter,

(3) Fantastically

hold: This is the third time; I hope good luck the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they lies in odd numbers. Away, go; they say, there will at once display to the night.

is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.-Away.

Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns. Fal. Away, I say; time wears; hold up your nead, and mince. [Exit Mrs. Quickly.

Enter Ford.

How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall see wonders.

Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed?

Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him. Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked.

Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely.
Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their
lechery,
Those that betray them do no treachery.

Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on: To the oak,
to the oak.
[Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-Windsor Park. Enter Sir Hugh
Evans, and Fairies.

Eva. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, your parts: be pold, I pray you; follow me into like a poor old man: but I came from her, master the pit; and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I [Exeunt. Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, pid you: Come, come; trib, trib. Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of Jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed SCENE V-Another part of the Park. Enter Falstaff disguised, with a buck's head on. phrensy. I will tell you.-He beat me grievously,|

in haste, go along with me; I'll tell you all, mas

in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded gods assist beam; because I know also, life is a shuttle. I am me!-Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy ter Brook. Since I plucked' geese, played truant, Europa; love set on thy horns.--O powerful love! and whipped top, I knew not what it was to be that, in some respects, makes a beast a man; in beaten, till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange some other, a man a beast.-You were also, Jupiter, things of this knave Ford on whom to-night I will swan, for the love of Leda; 0, omnipotent love! how near the god drew to the complexion of be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand.-Follow: Strange things in hand, master goose!-A fault done first in the form of a beast; -O Jove, a beastly fault! and then another fault Brook! follow. [Exeunt. in the seinblance of a fowl; think on't, Jove; a

low, and Slender.

SCENE II.—Windsor Park. Enter Page, Shal-foul fault.-When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the forest: send me a Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castle-cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss ditch, till we see the light of our fairies.-Remem- my tallow! Who comes here? my doe? ber, son Slender, my daughter.

2

Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have a nay-word, how to know one another. I come to her in white, and cry, mum; she cries, budget; and by that we know one another.

Eater Mrs. Ford and Mrs. Page.

Mrs. Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my deer? my male deer?

Fal. My doe, with the black scut?-Let the sky Shal. That's good too: But what needs either rain potatoes, let it thunder to the tune of Green your mum, or her budget? the white will decipher Sleeves, hail kissing comfits, and snow eringoes; her well enough.-It hath struck ten o'clock. let there come a tempest of provocation, I will Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will shelter me here. [Embracing her. become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we shall know sweetheart. him by his horns. Let's away; follow me.

SCENE III-The Street in Windsor.

Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me,

Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a haunch: [Exeunt. I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath your Enter husbands. Am I a woodman? ha! Speak I bike Herne the hunter?-Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome! [Noise within.

Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Dr. Caius. Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green: when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must go together.

Mrs. Page. Alas! what noise?
Mrs. Ford. Heaven forgive our sins!
Fal. What should this be?

Mrs. Ford.
Mrs. Page.

Away, away.

[They run off.

Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu. Mrs. Page. Fare you well, sir. [Exit Caius.]] Ful. I think, the devil will not have me damned, My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse lest the oil that is in me should set hell on fire; he of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor's marry-would never else cross me thus. ing my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heart-break.

Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welsh devil, Hugh?

Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at (2) Watch-word.

(1) Keep to the time.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans, like a satyr; Mrs. Quickly
and Pistol; Anne Page, as the Fairy Queen, as
tended by her brother and others, dressed like
fairies, with waxen tapers on their heads.
Quick, Fairies, black, grey, green, and white,
(3) Keeper of the forest,

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