ing. In general, the depth of the red co- 16 HAL-Where? lour, and the quantity of curd, are propor- “ ORN.-On the Continent; where the cional. common snipe, that rests during its migra. « POJET.Would not the fish be still tion from the north to the south in the better, or at least possess more curd, if marshes of Italy and Carniola, and the caught in a net, and killed immediately ? double or solitary snipe, become so fat as In the operation of tiring by the reel there to resemble that bird which was formerly must be considerable muscular exertion, 'fattened in Lincolnshire, the ruff; and and I should suppose expenditure of oily they have, I think, a better flavour, from matter. being fed on their natural food. " HAL.Ther can be no doubt but “ HAL.-At what time have you eaten the fish would be in a more perfect state them ? for the table from the nets ; yet a fish in 66 ORN. I have eaten them both in high season does not lose so much fat du- spring and autumn ; but the autumnal ring the short time he is on the hook as to birds are the best, and are like the ortolan make much difference; and I am not sure of Italy. that the action of crimping after does not 6 HAL.-Where does the double snipe give a better sort of crispness to the fibre : winter ? this, however, may be fancy ; we will dis.. 66 ORN. I believe in Africa and Asia cuss the matter again at table.” Minor. They are rarely seen in England, Come, reader--no yawning. 'Tis except driven by an east wind in the spring, or a strong north wind in the autumn. bad manners to pull over any page a Their natural progress is to and from Finmouth of that character. Brighten land and Siberia, through the Continent up a bit-give yourself a good shake of Europe to and from the east and south. -rub your eyes-out with your fists In autumn they pass more east; both beat arms' length-off with you from cause they are aided by west winds, and that insidious arm-chair so plump because the marshes in the east of Europe with all its cushions-a few turns up are wetter in that season ; and in spring and down the room-yes-no harm they return, but a larger proportion through at all in a calker-now you are as Italy, where they are carried by the Siroc. brisk as a bee again, and able for "co, and which at that time is extremely wet. Come, let us have another bottle of claret : another paragraph. We perceive by a pint per man is not too much after such your looks that you hold sleep in the a day's fatigue. greatest contempt. But do not com- “'HAL.You have made me president mit the very common and fatal mis- for these four days, and I forbid it. A take of thinking too lightly of your ene- half pint of wine for young men in perfect my-for he may take you by surprise, health is enough, and you will be able to and lay you on your back as flat as a take your exercise better, and feel better flounder. Yet, youi will surely not for this abstinence. How few people calfall asleep at dinner, whatever you culate upon the effects of constantly remay be in the custom of doing after newed fever in our luxurious system of it-so look here living in England ! The heart is made to act too powerfully, the blood is thrown “THE INNKEEPER_Gentlemen, din- upon the nobler parts, and with the sysner is ready. tem of wading adoptel by some sportsmen, THE DINNER. whether in shooting or fishing, is delivered " Hal.Now take your places. What either to the hemorrhoidal veins, or, what think you of our fish ? is worse, to the head. I have known sé. 6 Phys. I never ate better ; but I veral free livers who have terminated their want the Harvey or Reading sauce. lives by apoplexy, or have been rendered “ HAL.-Pray let me entreat you to miserable by palsy, in consequence of the use no other sauce than the water in which joint effects of cold feet and too stimula. he was boiled. I assure you this is the ting a diet; that is to say, as much ani. true Epicurean way of eating fresh sal- mai food as they could eat, with a pint or mon: and for the trout, use only a little perhaps a bottle of wine per day. Be vinegar and mustard,-a sauce à la Tar guided by me, my friends, and neither tare, without the onions. drink nor wade. I know there are old “ POIET.-Well, nothing can be bet- men who have done both, and have enjoyed ter; and I do not think fresh net-caught perfect health ; but these are devil's decoys fish can be superior to these. to the unwary, and ten suffer for one that “HAL. And these snipes are excel- escapes. I could quote to you an instance lent. Either my journey has given me an from this very county, one of the strongest appetite, or I think they are the best I men I have ever known. He was not ever tasted. intemperate, but he lived luxuriously, “ ORN.They are good, but I have and waded as a salmon fisher for many tasted better. years in this very river; but, before he 1 morrow. was fifty, palsy deprived him of the use afraid to lift her eyes from her plate of his limbs, and he is still a living exam- --the aunt sourer than the vinegar ple of the danger of the system which you cruet-and we-alas! the stranger, are ambitious of adopting. stepping in to take pot-luck---We, poor “ORN.-Well, I give up the wine, but old Christopher North, thanklessly voa I intend to wade in Hancock's boots to. lunteering to help the cock-y-leekie, thatotherwise would continue to smoke “ HAL_Wear them, but do not wade in them. The feet must become cold in and steam unstirred in its truly clasa stream of water constantly passing over sical utensil ! What looking of inthe cauotchouc and leather, not withstand utterable things! As impossible to ing the thick stockings. They are good break the silence with your tongue, for keeping the feet warm, and I think as to break pond-ice ten inches thick where there is exercise, as in snipe shoot- with your knuckle. In comes the cock ing, may be used without any bad effects. that made the cock-y.leekie, boiled But I advise no one to stand still (which down in his tough antiquity to a tatan angler must do sometimes) in the ter. He disappears among the prowater, even with these ingenious water. proof inventions. All anglers should re geny, and you are now tied to the member old Boerhaave's maxims of health, steak. You find there employment and act upon them : -Keep the feet warm, hope during mastication that you have sufficient to justify any silence; and the head cool, and the body open.' " Phys. I am sorry we did not ex. not committed any crime since Christamine more minute the weight and size mas, of an enormity too great to be exof the fish we caught, and compare the piated by condemnation to the sulks. anatomy of the salmon and the sea-trout; A LITERARY Dinner! apparently but we were in too great a hurry to see the remains of the Seven Young Men them on the table, and our philosophy sprinkled along both sides of the table yielded to our hunger. - with here and there “ a three-times " Hal.-We sliall have plenty of op- skimmed sky-blue” interposed; on each portunities for this examination ; and we side of the Lord of the Mansion, a Phican now walk down to the fishing house and see probably half a hundred fish of losopher-on each hand of the Lady, different sizes that have been taken in the a Poet--somewhere or other about the cruives this evening, and examine them board, a Theatrical Stir-a Strange at our leisure. Fiddler-an Outlandish Traveller “ ALL.-Let us go !” and a Spanish Refugee. As MrWordsMen engaged in an act of very worth rather naughtily sayeth, great wickedness, have, at the rustle 's All silent, and all damn'd!" of a leaf, started as if it were the fire Still the roof does not fall, although mament tumbling down upon their the chandelier burns dim in sympa. heads—but we do not fear to say that thy, such a catastrophe might more rea "And all the air a solemn stillness holds." sonably be feared by men engaged in an act of intense stupidity. Could Will not a single soul in all this the extremity of human dulness wide world, as he hopes to be saved, of human dulness, perpetrated, too, utter so much as one solitary sylladuring the best of all human bless. ble ? Oh! what would not the lady ings, a dinner of salmon crimped and and the gentleman of the house give boiled on the spot, and then eaten in even for a remark on the weather from their own sauce-move the heavens the mouth of poet, philosopher, sage, to fall on the heads of the offenders, or hero! Hermetically sealed! Lo! then would this have been the last the author of the very five-guinea dinner ever devoured by Halieus, Phy- quarto, that lay open, in complimensicus, Ornither, and Poietes. tary exposure, at a plate, upstairs, on Many-oh!--many a dull dinner the drawing-room table--with his have we assisted at-many a melan. round unmeaning face “ breathing choly knife and fork have we heard tranquillity” - sound asleep! With played! But never one like this ! eyes fixed on the ceiling, sits at his A FAMILY Dinner! Pot-luck, side the profound Parent of a Treaas it is called, in Scotland-when the tise on the Sinking Fund. The abman's wife is in the sulks, the wife's sent gentleman, who has kept stroman proportionably savage, the chile king his chin for the last half hour, as dren blear-eyed from the recent blub- if considering how he is off for soap, ber in the nursery—the governess -would you believe it, -has just re« turned from abroad, and has long been having been, from the commencement justly celebrated for his conversatione of the feast, unanimously abandoned al talents in all the coteries and courts - you might imagine yourself at an of Europe. If that lank-and-leather- anniversary GAUDEAMUS of the Deaf jawed gentleman, with complexion and Dumb. bespeaking a temperament dry and Yet nor FAMILY DINNËR, nor Lia adust, and who has long been sedu, TERARY DINNER, nor RETURN Dina lously occupied in feeling the edge of NER-can in intensest stupidity one his fruit-knife with the ball of his moment hope to stand the most distant thumb,--do not commit suicide be- comparison with this ANGLER's Din, fore September,-Lavater must have ner, eaten on the banks of the Ewe, been as great a goose as Gall. You the emptier of Loch Maree, by these might not only hear a mouse stirring four gentlemen, poets, physicians, phi- : - pin dropping---but either event losophers, and what not, from the farwould rouse the whole company like off and mighty London. a peal of thunder. You may have At each successive and successful seen Madame Toussaud's images, mouthful of the curd, was each memNapoleon, Wellington, Scott, Can, ber of the Club bound to say some ning, all sitting together, in full fig, thing wise or witty ; bound in duty, with faces and figures in opposite di- in honour, and in gratitude. The rections, each looking as like himself perpetually recurring excitement and as possible, so that you could almost assuagement of the palate, prolonged, believe you heard them speak. You as we must believe, during ten hours get rather angry--you wonder that at the very least--for they had been at they don't speak. Even so with those work, walking, rowing, and angling, living Images. But the exhibition for forty miles, and fourteen hours, at is over the ladies leave the room the lowest computation, without reand after another hour of silence, freshment_ought to have set all their more profound than that of the grave, tongues a-wagging like the clappers all the images simultaneously rise up of so many bells. It was imperative and-no wonder people believe in upon them to scintillate--to coruscate ghosts-disappear ! to meteorize-to make the natives A RETURN. DINNER! Thirty peo- positively believe that a "new sun had ple of all sorts and sizes, jammed risen on mid-day," and that the 221 glued together-shoulder to shoulder of June had that year been delayed -knee to knee all with their elbows till the 15th of July. It was impein each other's stomachs-most faces rative on them to have drunk for their red as fire, in spite of all those floods own share-a gallon of Glenlivet of perspiration=two landed gentlemen merely a bottle a-piece, a quantity, from the Highlands-a professor- which, if taken moderately, can, in the four officers, naval and military, in his climate of Loch Maree, hurt not a Majesty's and in the Company's ser- hair on the head of any sober Chrisvice-some advocates --two persons tian.' It was imperative upon them to like ministers-abundance of W. S.'s have insisted on the boatmen, also of course an accoucheur-old ladies four in number, whether they could with extraordinary things upon their or not, to empty their keg of ers. heads, and grey hair dressed in a It was incumbent upon them to have mode fashionable before the flood—à brought into a state of civilation all few fat mothers of promising families such of the natives of that wild dis-some eldest daughters now nubile trict as had been gathered together in La female of no particular age, with and about the inn, by the fame of the a beard-two widows, the one buxom arrival of the Missionaries. The land. and blooming, with man-fond eyes, lord, of course, should have been laid the other pale and pensive, with long on his back among the blooming dark eye-lashes, and lids closed as if heather, long before sunset ; and the to hide a tear-there they all sit steam- pleasing toil of distribution been des ing through three courses swell does volved on his wife and daughters, the right hand of the one know what who, except at marriages, christenings, the left hand of the other is doing and funerals, eschew the creature. there is much suffering, mingled with Instead of a scene like this, equally much enjoyment--for though hot, they rational and sentimental, and the sweet are hungry-while all idea of speaking savour of which would have scented < THE INN. the mountain-air years after the de M‘Tavish. We quote with pleasure parture of the Sassenachs, whose a conversation which takes place ou names would have been remembered the last night of the week. It is one till doomsday in many a flowing of the best bits in the book-placid, quech," list, O list, if ever you did pleasant, and pious—and proves that your dear Father love”- list to the Sir Humphry is no Sabbath-breaker, brace of most portentous blockheads! but has a high respect for all the orOrnither. “ Come, let us have ano- dinances of religion. ther bottle of claret-a pint per man is not too much !!!! after such a day's fatigue !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hali POIET.-Should it be a fine day to eus. “You have made me President morrow, I think we shall have good sport: for four days, and I forbid it!!!! the high tide will bring up fish, and the rain and wind of yesterday will have enA HALF PINT FOR YOUNG MEN IN larged the river. PERFECT HEALTH IS ENOUGH ; and " Hal.-To-morrow we must not fish you will be able to take your exercise it is the Lord's day, and a day of rest. It better, and feel better for this absti- ought likewise to be a day of worship and nence ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !!!!! thanksgiving to the great Cause of all the !!!!!!!!!! Ornither. “ Well, I benefits and blessings we enjoy in this life, give up the wine-but I intend to wade for which we can never sufficiently express in Hancock's boots tò-morrow!!!!!". our gratitude. “ POIET. I cannot see what harm A more mean, and melancholy, and miserable, and monstrous picture was there can be in pursuing an amusement on a Sunday, which you yourself have call, never drawn of humanity than this ! ed innocent, and which is apostolic: nor Half-a-pint of claret ! Poor devils ! do I know a more appropriate way of reWading to-morrow in Hancock's boots! turning thanks to the Almighty, Cause of Cold feet !. Apoplexy! Palsy! Be all being, than in examining and wonder, guided by me-neither drink nor ing at his works in that great temple of wade!!” • Remember old Boerhaave's nature, whosc canopy is the sky; and maxims of health,--I act upon them where all the beings and elements around Keep the feet warm--the head cool- us are as it were proclaiming the power and the body open !!!'” A maxim and wisdom of Deity. on a fishing excursion equally despi- of fishing can add to your devotional feel. “ HAL. I cannot see how the exercise cable and disgusting. Really “ Sale ; monia” smells like a doze of Glauber ings; but independent of this, you employ salts in a tea-cup-and Sir Humphry be, at least, has a right to rest on this one a servant to carry your net and gaff, and is unpleasantly strong of the shop.. day. But even if you could perfectly sa The party remain for some days at tisfy yourself as to the abstract correct, a snug inn near the foot of the Loch, ness of the practice, the habits of the but we never feel ourselves to be in country in which we now are, form an inthe Highlands; no thunder-cloud sud- surmountable obstacle to the pursuit of the denly darkens the day; no floating amusement: by indulging in it, you woulą mist-wreaths girdle the mountains ; excite the indignation of the Highland no gor-cock is heard to crow ; no red peasants, and might perhaps expiate the deer bells ; no goat bleats her kids offence by a compulsory ablution in the river. along the cliff-terrace; no bag-pipe is heard,“ like subterranean music,” far it a rule never to shock the prejudices of “ Poret.--I give up the point: I make off among the hills, gradually growl. any person, even when they appear to me ing and groaning, and shrieking and ridiculous ; and I shall still less do so in squeaking, and yelling and roaring, '& case where your authority is against me ; into the “ Gathering of the Clans,” till and I have no taste for undergoing perse, the Personification of Pride appears, cution, when the cause is a better one. I with red-blown cheeks and fiery eyes, now remember that I have often heard of keeping marching to and fro on the the extreme severity with which the Sab. green before the inn, his instrument bath discipline is kept in Scotland. Can burning with streamers, as if the sole you give us the reason of this? “ Hal. I am not sufficiently read in soul of martial music were taberna the Church History of Scotland to give cling in his chanter, and all the mic the cause historically ; but I think it can litary glory that was ever achieved on hardly be doubted that it is connected with earth the patrimony of the descend- the intense feelings of the carly Covenanants of the Black-watch, and more ters, and their hatred with respect to all particularly of “ her nainsel,” Donald 'the forms and institutes of the Church of Rome, the ritual of which makes the Sun. and no intentional Sabbath-breaker; he day more a day of innocent recreation, seized my rod, and carried it off with im. than severe discipline. precations; and it was only with great dif. “ Phys._Yet the disciples of Calvin, ficulty, and by rousiug by my eloquence at Geneva, who, I suppose, must have ha- some women who were present, and who ted the Pope as much as their brethren of thought I was an ill-used stranger, that I Scotland, do not so rigilly observe the recovered my property. Another time I Sunday; and I reniember having been in- was walking on Arthur's Seat, with some vited by a very religious and respectable of the most distinguished professors of Genevese to a shooting party on that day. Edinburgh attached to the geological opi " Hal.- I think climate and the ini. nions of the late Dr Hutton ; a discussion tative nature of man modify this cause took place upon the phenomena presented abroad. Geneva is a little state in a brighter by the rocks under our feet, and to exemclimate than Scotland, almost surrounded plify a principle, Professor Playfair broke by Catholics, and the habits of the French some stones, in which I assisted the vene. and Savoyards must influence the people.rable and amiable philosopher. We had The Scotch, with more severity and simpli. hardly examined the fragments, when a city of manners, have no such examples of man from a crowd, who had been assisting bad neighbours, for the people of the north at a field preaching, came up to us and of England keep the Sunday much in the warned us off, saying, "Ye think ye are same way. only stane breakers ; but I ken ye are Sab“ Poiet.-Nay, Halieus, call them bath-breakers, and ye deserve to be staned not bad neighbours ; recollect my creed, with your ain stanes!' and respect at least, what, if error, was “Hali Zeal of every kind is somethe error of the Christian world for 1000 times troublesome, yet I generally suspect years. The rigid observance of the seventh the persons who are very tolerant of scep day appears to me rather a part of the Mo. ticism. Those who firmly believe that a saic, than of the Christian di pensation. particular plan of conduct is essential to Thé Protestants of this country consider the eternal welfare of man, may be parthe Catholics bigots, because they enjoin doned if they shew even anger, if this conto themselves, and perform, certain penan- duct is not pursued. The severe observance ces for their sins; and surely the Catholics of the Sabbath is connected with the vital may see a little more like that spirit in the creed of these rigid Presbyterians; it is not interference of the Scotch in innocent therefore extraordinary that they should amusements, on a day celebrated as a fes- enforce it even with a perseverance that goes tive day, that on which our Saviour rose in- beyond the bounds of good manners and to immortal life, and secured the everlast- courtesy. They may quote the example ing hopes of the Christian. I see no rea- of our Saviour, who expelled the traders son why this day should not be celebrated from the temple even by violence.” with singing, dancing, and triumphal processions, and all innocent signs of gladness On all this we have just two small reand joy. I see no reason why it should be marks, or so, to make. In the first place, given up to severe and solitary prayers, or the whole party, as men of education, to solemn and dull walks ; or why, as in Poietes included, were bound to have Scotland, whistling even should be con- known, that in Scotland, angling on sidered as a crime on Sunday, and hum- the Lord's day would be looked on ming a tune, however sacred, out of doors, with religious horror, and all such as a reason for violent anger and persecu. anglers as impious reprobates. This tion. “ORN.-I agree with Poietes, in his being the case, Puietes might, with views of the subject. I have suffered from equal sense of propriety, have propothe peculiar habits of the Scotch Church, sed walking into a church during time and therefore may complain. Once in the of divine service, in England, in the north of Ireland, when a very young man, dress in which he might have chanced I ventured, after the time of divine ser. to perform the character of Beelzebub vice, to put together my rods, as I had at a masquerade in the Pantheon. In been used to do in the Catholic districts asubsequent conversation, (which shall of Ireland, and fish for white trout in the be our last quotation) he speaks of the river at Rathmelton, in pure innocence of people of Scotland as if he understood heart, unconscious of wrong, when I found them thoroughly-their love of edu. a crowd collect round me at first I thought cation, and its peculiar nature, and effrom mere curiosity, but I soon discovered fects on their national character. Yet I was mistaken ; anger was their motive, here he is so utterly ignorant of all and vengeance their object. A man scon came up exceedingly drunk, and began to about them, as absolutely to propose abuse me by various indecent terms ; such fishing in Scotland upon the Sabbath! as a Sabbath-breaking Papist, &c. It was This is one of the many gross and in vain I assured him I was no Papist, - glaring contradictions and inconsisten ; |